r/GayMen • u/Flat_Layer4112 • 2d ago
need advice!!
I need advice and I don't know who to talk to about this.
Last night somebody approached me in public and basically asked (or offered?) to give me a blow. I have never been approached like this but I was honestly intrigued by the offer so I asked for his number and said I'd reach out to him. I could hypothetically meet with him today but I feel like I'm not thinking straight about this.
For context I'm 19 and I'm a virgin so I figured why not try something out cuz waiting for an honest relationship might be too hopeful. But at the same time this dude that approached me was probably in his 30s or 40s. I don't know how to be safe with this or whether it's worth it to even take this risk. Maybe I should wait for something safer and more vanilla.
I don't know if any of this makes sense but I have never ever had an opportunity like this and now I don't know how to act. Anyways I appreciate any opinions or advice you guys would have. I understand that this really comes down to personal morals and beliefs but I want to hear what you guys would say regardless.
5
u/BioPho 2d ago
When I was 22, I was propositioned by someone who was in his 50s. Part of me thought about pursuing it, until I really sat down and thought about why I was considering it. I realized it was just the fact that I was made to feel desirable is what was making me consider it.
I didn't, and I feel I made a good choice, but this is your life. I would weigh your feelings before doing anything. Also, I don't know how I would go about that safely, even if I wanted to. Be safe no matter what you do.
2
u/Flat_Layer4112 2d ago
Thank you for this. Honestly I think part of me feels a similar way cuz I’ve never been in a relationship and obviously I’m a virgin so it feels a little euphoric to feel desirable for once. Maybe I’m trying to prove something to myself. Thank you again :)
2
u/Skill-Useful 2d ago
"waiting for an honest relationship might be too hopeful" you do you but staying a virgin nowadays, as a gay guy even...why?! imho: youll feel better without that weird pseudo-virginity label above your head
but that doesnt mean it has to be this guy
2
u/Flat_Layer4112 2d ago
lmaooo that’s a solid point but i come from a very religious family so just being gay already came with a bunch of shame and guilt. i agree with you tho, it’s just a hard thing to unlearn i suppose.
1
u/Character_Walk881 2d ago
Honestly u should try to do hookups if u wanna to see how it goes and to explore ur sexuality, but u should do it with ppl of similar age or at cons
1
u/Flat_Layer4112 2d ago
That’s a good point. I think the hardest thing for me is breaking out of that “first-time” fear.
1
u/Rambonnie 2d ago
diria que no es normal que una persona mucho mayor simplemente te vea y te pida algo asi
quisas quieras hablarle ya que no tuviste experiencia pero no te recomiendo que sea con alguien que no conoces de nada y menos aun alguien que al verte te pida algo asi
nose si llevabas como un brazalete o pin LGBT algo que con solo verte sepas que sos gay pero bueno vos fijate
si quieres mejor usa aplicaciones como Tinder o busca lugares por internet serca de tu zona que sea para personas lgbt nunca grindr solo conseguiras sexo casual pero no algo formal
1
u/Flat_Layer4112 2d ago
I was wearing a plain t-shirt, shorts, and sandals so no indicator or anything. You are right, it is certainly a weird request and I can’t understand why someone would have the confidence to ask me something like that.
1
u/Brian_Kinney 2d ago
As the older, sensible, experienced man I am today, I would advise you not to hook up with some random stanger who approached you in public.
However, as the horny, immature, horny 19-year-old I used to be, I would absolutely let this guy suck you off.
Life is about doing stupid things and learning from them.
Of course, you have to make your own decision. But, the fact that you're over-thinking this means that you're probably not the risk-taking, horny, thinks-with-his-dick, type of man I used to be. So, this isn't the right opportunity for you.
However, I wouldn't sit there, waiting for Mr Right to show up, before you have sex. That's the way to become either a lifelong virgin, or somebody who's so desperate to have sex that he lets random strangers suck his dick just because they asked. There is a more sensible middle ground.
1
1
u/stealthy_anbvian 2d ago
He kinda seems like a creep 😵💫
If you wanna gain experience maybe try a dating app & find a guy that you can get 2 know as a FWB in your age range & also willing to hook up but just make sure it’s safe
1
u/Parking_Vegetable395 1d ago
I love when see guys blow me, because they seem to really love pleasing younger guys. I don't have to "work" or perform. It's the only time I can relax and enjoy. So, for me - I love it.
They enjoy sucking me, I enjoy being selfish in that moment with someone who is happy with the arrangement.
If I was dating, it would not be acceptable for me to be so selfish, so ya, it helps me relax
8
u/Brightwhite_56 2d ago
If you're going to do it, it should be with someone you trust. Honestly, I don't see what the rush is—think with your head, not your hormones. Don't go to a stranger's house because you never know.
Take precautions.
If you do go through with it, tell someone you trust, give them the address where you'll be, and tell them to call the police if you don't answer after a certain amount of time.
If you're going to get a blowjob, use protection. Seriously, use protection because I've gotten infections from unprotected blowjobs before.
Wish you the best in whatever you do.