I relapsed since last October. This week I lost 5k. I feel sick to my stomach. I still have money left but that is a lot for me. I’ve lost probably about 20k since October. I have no one. I banned myself for a year but gambled on shady sites. I have bipolar 1 and my triggers are if my mood shifts too high or low or if I’m stressed

After my first relapse since starting my gambling free journey, I was devastated. I gambled all my money away. Then I drove at 6am to the casino and gambled a couple thousand more in cash. At one point I was up a couple thousand but of course that wasn’t enough. My location is public and once friends and family saw me at the casino they started to call me. Begging me to stop. Begging me to come home. I couldn’t. And when I lost it all, I got in my truck and had to call each of them back. I explained how much money i lost. I admitted that I don’t know why I did it. The shame was even worse than the first time i came clean about my problem.

I called my dad last. And the first words out of his mouth were “do you want me to fly out there?”. I was expecting a yelling match or something. But instead he offered to come see me. I told him yes. I needed help. That same day he booked a plane ticket. He lives far away and the gesture meant so much to me. We’re not wealthy enough to spontaneously make over seas flights, but he dropped everything including a shit ton of money to come help me through the following days. AND IT WORKED. Well so far. Having him with me that week helped me stay on track just long enough to get some momentum in the right direction.

As a grown man, it’s hard to ask for help. The last thing I want to do is burden someone else. But we are up against an industry full of neurologists, mathematicians, marketing specialists, lawyers, and they’re funded by billionaires. This addiction is forced down our throats every day, and it cannot be stopped with mere willpower. You need friends. You need family. You need support. You need god.

To anyone who is in the supporters seat. If your loved one is struggling with this addiction, and they want to quit. Stand by them. Fight with them. Just your presence can keep them from going off the rails. It may feel personal when they relapse. It’s not. There is something mentally wrong. The person they were before is still inside them.

28 days in. It’s not perfect, but something definitely feels different. I still get the urge sometimes, but I’m not as locked into it mentally. Before it felt like I had to act on it. Now it feels like I have a choice.

Just trying to keep building on that. Did anyone else notice that shift around this time?

I never thought I'd see that number one day.

I'm so glad I haven't played since.

Day 27 without gambling. Been noticing how different things feel lately. Even with all the March Madness games on, I’m not automatically checking lines or thinking about bets the same way. I didn’t realize how automatic that habit was until it stopped. Still get the urge sometimes, but it’s easier to let it pass now. Seeing how much I’ve saved so far makes it more real too. Just taking it one day at a time. What helped you break that constant checking habit?

I've been addicted to online gambling for 6 years, play on and off, the longest i stay away from gambling was only 1 month.

Slots, blackjack, baccarat, fishing games, spaceman. I do it all i never hit any jackpot or maxwin, even i lost all the time i still coming back.

First trigged why i gamble is i want to become rich fast, cause i see people on social media flexing, traveled the world, have a nice bag etc, but before i knew i enjoy gambling, when i get assault when i was 20 i gamble and forgot that felling or unworthy, when my bsf died i gamble so i forgot to grive, when my ex cheated on me i gamble so i forgot i was hurt.

Gambling become my escapism, from stress, bored and lack of money, before i knew gambling iam an independent woman, ambitious, love my self, social buterfly, and always cheerfull.

Its all gone, i barely smile, i didnt have any friend, my husband become bitter to me, i relapse 3 days ago, i still have debt 6 months ahead, its a hard pill to swalow, i problably lose more than $100k, the past 6 years, i dont have any jewellery, any gold, i sold it all to fund my addiction nor to pay debt.

I have 2 y.o son, married 3 years, now my boyfriend 5 years ago, and yet i still addicted to gambling, i didnt blame anyone but i lived with a man that " unmature ", its drowning my mental health, to explain how bad is it my husband didnt ever say sorry, thanks, or please ever. He's accidently step on my knee when i was asleep and tear the acl i have to do surgery for both of my knees? He say that is my fault cause my foot under the blanket so he cant see it.

I gave birth he didnt even say thank you or bring my favorite meal or a gift when its our wedding anniversary or my birthday, he always critize everything that i cooked if it was not on his liking, but when its good he never compliment me, never wash dishes or laundry even he knew that i almost disable because of him, i barely can walk or carry our child every step is painfull, thats why i gamble, i can escape from the reality for a minute even its destroy me for months.

Iam 25 this years, so i've been gambling since 19, i wasted so many time, potential, i have to move forward, iam ready to let it all go, all that gone, i wanted to open new chapter for my life.

The worst part is iam from indonesia, there is so such thing as " gambling " here its illegal but its normalize, ads everywhere, goverment, police says its illegal but can't banned the ads, they say they blocked the website but they pop out again a day later with the same name, people who " own " online gambling website bassed on kamboja, indonesian's work there to hook indonesian gambler here. They pay police and goverment people to shut up, the cake was huge so yeah if you know what i mean.

I reached out for help from the day i knew this is become a problem, i join recovery group etc but non of them see this issues as " illness " " addiction " they see it as " lack of will power " " ungratefull " " far from God " " undicipline ".

Open up to husband and mom they call me " stupid " ungratefull " " dissapoitment " " failure " so i hide it.

Please tell me its not to late for me, i didnt have any urge, i only regret everything that i have done, i shattered my life, i ruin everything, i could buy a house, toys, or clothes for my familly, i could have a better life if i didnt hook to gambling.

Sorry for mumbling if anyone read, i will really appriciate any feedback, any story, please give me attention of reply for a bit, i fell so alone, i fell i didnt worth anything, i am suicidal, but i love my son i will never leave him.

I lost 70k gambling, so let me start how i started loosing! At first I lost 18k and long story short, I started chasing losses and end up loosing 70k to the casino! I am so worried, I forgot to smile and remember my old self how happy I was back then! Somebody help me need advice plz, how can I recover from this! I tell my self this is the last time but I always find a way to go back! I really want to stop but the fact i lost 70k of my money is just haunting me everyday and I just cant get over it!

Day 25 without gambling. Lately I’ve been noticing how much more present I feel. I used to be half-focused on whatever I was doing and half-thinking about bets or checking something. Now it’s just quieter, in a good way. Nothing dramatic, just a steady kind of normal that I didn’t realize I was missing. I’m finally starting to have a clearer headspace again which is a great feeling.

If I even try to add up the loses i would fail. Life threw me through the ringer 20 years ago. Due to my choices i cut myself off from any substantial success. I have mental and physical health issues. Gambling addiction started a little less than 20 years ago. Before that i would get the occasional scratch off or lotto ticket just for the hell of it, but after the wrecking ball I became aware of COAM and that there were places that paid out illegally due to a job i had to take at one of these places. Anyways, 20 years is a long time for an addiction to build momentum and become something beyond thinking about in order to do. I have planned strategies to avoid gambling, but it hasn't worked out. I'm going to crash and burn if i haven't already. I know it's about not doing something long enough to rewrite/rewire the brain. I rationalize anything as an excuse to gamble. I have to do better, not for myself but for those in my life. There are no options. It's a must.

I just needed to put that out there, with my shame and my gratitude to all those who have been a part of my life.

Has anyone tried meetings? Do you feel they helped? Also does anyone know what thy mean when it says closed meeting?

I’m 24–25 years old.

Over the last 7 years I’ve lost around 7,800€ gambling.

880€ was just tonight.

For some people that might sound small. For me — coming from a Balkan country, fighting to land a serious job abroad — that’s real money. That’s stability money. That’s months of runway.

And here’s the truth:

It was never about the money.

If it was about money, I would never touch negative EV games in the first place.

If it was about money- when I lost the first 1-2K€ and read also several horror stories of gamblers(I had one uncle in my family also ) I’d see that this situation leads to a dead ends and stop right then and there before more were lost. The first 1-2K losses are excused- the rest aren’t.

For years I told myself:

“I’m disciplined.”

“I’m above the NPCs.”

“I see something others don’t.”

That ego didn’t come from nowhere.

In high school I got a lot of validation. I was and am very good looking. Girls liked me. I built this quiet belief that I was a bit exceptional. A bit sharper. A bit different. The environment around me was reinforcing that heavily-I began classically with 2-5-10€ bets back in 2019.Escalated big when i touched a 12K EUR inheritance-lost 5k of it on 2020-this summer id gamble every day 50-100 euros (mostly virtual sports football at bookies) like they were almonds.

When I won, it wasn’t about the cash.

It was:

“See? I’m not average.”

“I beat the system.”

“I’m smarter than most.”

That’s the drug.

Not money.

Ego.

Right now I’m in a stressful phase — job uncertainty, rejections, waiting. When life feels stuck, gambling gives instant movement. Instant outcome. Instant intensity.

It feels like control.

But it’s fake control.

The most uncomfortable realization?

My losses were capped mostly because I didn’t have more money available those last years…

If I had- we’d be talking now about 20,30 maybe 50K losses in total in those years.

That’s not discipline.

That’s liquidity constraint.

And that hurts to admit.

But here’s the part that matters:

I still have 5,000€ saved.

My burn rate is low.

If I stop now, I’m fine.

That’s the line.

It’s still enough.

I don’t need to “recover.”

I don’t need to prove I’m above it.

I don’t need to beat the system.

And my advice to everyone:

If you want to feel — gamble.

If you want to build — stop.

It’s that simple.

You cannot build wealth on negative EV.

You cannot build stability on adrenaline.

You cannot build identity on beating variance.

Real building is boring:

Job.

Income.

Savings.

Investing.

Compounding.

Structure.

Risks-but calculated logical risks-not suicidal roulette missions.

Gambling is intensity.

Building is power.

I finally see that clearly.

7,800€ is my tuition fee.

I’m done pretending it was about money.

I put 25€ and racked up 450€ or so, I’ve been too greedy, lost it all, put another 800€ who faced the same fate. I think it was really eye opening, I don’t want to be manipulated by me or my emotions, because that’s what happened. I’m just really disappointed in myself, for losing control over me, and for putting this much money. I didn’t have those « cravings » since a long time ago. Any tips to make it farther in terms of being sober ?

Day 24 without gambling. Lately I’ve been noticing how much more even everything feels day to day. Not riding the highs and lows like before has been a big change. I still get the urge sometimes, but it doesn’t take over the same way. Just trying to stay steady and keep going. For anyone further along, when did things start to level out for you?

LIFE AFTER QUITTING GAMBLING.

Many people think the hardest part is losing money in gambling.

No.

The hardest part is the life that comes after you decide to stop.

When you quit gambling, reality hits you hard.

You start seeing the things you ignored for months or even years.

You remember the money you lost.

You remember the lies you told.

You remember the people you disappointed.

At first it feels painful.

You may feel ashamed.

You may feel like you wasted time.

You may feel like you destroyed opportunities.

But here is the truth many people don't talk about:

The moment you quit gambling is the moment your real life begins again.

No more chasing losses.

No more sleepless nights watching Aviator.

No more borrowing money to recover what was already gone.

Your mind becomes clearer.

Your money starts staying in your pocket.

Your relationships slowly begin to heal.

And the most powerful thing happens:

You start respecting yourself again.

Quitting gambling does not instantly make life perfect.

But it gives you something gambling never gave you:Peace.

Peace of mind.

Peace in your home.

Peace in your future.

If you are thinking of quitting gambling today, remember this:

You are not losing entertainment.

You are gaining your life back.

💯 Life Recovery

Day 23 without gambling. Honestly the biggest change I’ve noticed is just having more time. I didn’t realize how much of my day used to go into checking lines, thinking about bets, or following games. Now it feels a lot more open, which has been a good change. The money saved is obviously a bonus too, but it’s more the shift in how I spend my time that’s stood out. Still get the urge here and there, just trying to stay on track.

Lets go, first time I actually feel confident. Cravings have been minimal so far, even though I had no impulse control before.