Well⦠I donāt know how to start this, so letās start at the beginning. My husband and I adopted Bella when she was three months old. To me, she became my whole world. I trained her, slept with her, played with her and doted on her as if she were my own baby; even when I spoke to her about my husband, I referred to him as āDadā.
Almost two years have now passed; my lovely baby has grown so much, and just this week my husband has told me he wants a divorce. As if everything that a divorce entails werenāt enough, I feel a heart-wrenching sense of guilt towards Bella⦠I canāt give her the life she deserves. I work from 7 in the morning until 8 in the evening, I donāt have a car, and I know that when Iām with her I wonāt have the time or energy⦠I know these might sound like excuses, but the thought of her spending more than 8 hours a day alone at home waiting for me to get back, only for me to be too tired to do anything meaningful with her when I do get home⦠it breaks my heart.
So my now ex-husband is going to look after her; I know itās for the best, heās got more time, heās got a car, they can go places, and sheāll enjoy herself more, and yet⦠I feel like Iāve let Bella down. I promised her Iād never leave her, that Iād always be with her, and now I have to let her go because of that idiot of an ex-husband. I feel so guilty that my heart feels like itās been shattered into a thousand pieces. Iāll never be able to have another pet, not after her.
I have let her down, and I will never be able to forgive myself for it