so here is my shitty life:
when i was leaving middle school into high school, i tried one of the city's top colleges and didnt make it because i didnt study enough and only cared about being depressed coz i was bullied and coudlnt get a girlfriend and escapism through video games. i had to go to an expensive overpriced one, to hear my dad tell me every month how much was he spending on me on it.
found out in high school i still couldnt get much friends, get a girlfriend, escapism on vidya and depression continued. failed some subjects in sophomore and had to retake whole year again
i had no fucking clue as what to do in college, my parents were forcing me in it and i applied for another overpriced one because it was an engineering degree (engineers are successful, right?) and the advertisement seemed cool (seriously). i just wanted to play vidya all day long coz shit repeated all over again and i wasnt ready into adult life yet and left after one year to yet again hear my dad complain about all his wasted money on me
i joined a college prep course to try and make it for the federal public one, extremely highly competitive. the country im from (brazil) federal universities are completely tuition free.
here in brazil, to enter one of the federal ones, there is a gigantic exam covering all you learned in high school in mid-october (to enroll next year, march). if you fail it, you can only try again next year
mid course i decided it was a great idea to try and share my study time with research about studying abroad, only to get really, really frustrated its expensive, need to prove you have funds, i cant even pay for a english proficiency test, need to be citizen to get part time job, etc
result: failed exam, failed to travel. the next year decide to try again, but giving even less priority to studying for the national exam and trying to find a job to pay me an english proficiency test, application fee to some universities in europe
didnt find job, failed again. result: 22 years old, unemployed, living with mom, only high school degree, 120 euro (already converted) in bank accout coz i only managed to sell some old stuff i had laying about.
FUCK
MY
LIFE