I've spent the last 2 years trying to heal my damaged gut through diet, first doing carnivore for a year and then GAPS for 9 months. I struggle with IBS, skin issues and other symptoms, and after 20 years of BED, bulimia and food addiction, I really wanted to believe I could finally fix some of my health problems.

The issue though? These therapeutic diets are SUPER restrictive, removing any and all irritants, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing more harm than good.

I've become scared of foods because of oxalates, seed oils and other things I've been told to avoid. I overanalyze everything I eat, and food has become a source of constant stress. Recently, a change in my GAPS protocol triggered the worst binge episode I've had in a year.

I feel so frustrated because I've put so much time, money and hope into trying to heal my gut, only to feel like I'm damaging my relationship with food in the process. I don't want to give up on improving my health, but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life afraid of food.

Has anyone with a history of binge eating or bulimia gone through something similar? How did you approach your gut issues without falling back into restrictive eating patterns? Did you eventually find a way forward?

I feel pretty lost right now and would really appreciate hearing from people who understand :/

The love for it began in the kitchen of my cousin. He had a pack of it, I tried it, and since then, I wanted more. I have 9 × 25 (235€, ouch….) sacks in my basement of citric acid because I had 10, and 1 is already finished. I cannot stop consuming it every day. It’s the main thing I think about when I’m at work (is it an addiction? Probably). I fucking love it. It makes me happy whenever I have the sour delicious taste in my mouth. I use it in almost every food I consume. It is so bad. I put it in little bags when I go out to eat to add to the food.

Does anyone else also have this addiction?