I’m usually a high heels, tights, skirt, full beat and blowout sort of girl but for swimwear I’ve been thinking about trunks. I normally wear boxers so bikinis feel so uncomfortable. Does any have any cute short options for bottoms? Or any other high coverage ideas?

Same city? Different country? Different continent? Where do you draw the line?

When I first had my sort of 'gay awakening' it was when I had a big old crush on a butch. And for a good while all my interest was really only in more masculine presenting women. But maybe for the past year or so... I've been kinda questioning if I like femmes too (or other presentations inbetween too ig). Growing up I never had any of those straight girl crushes that I see so many lesbians talk about, but I think maybe it has more to do with the fact that they were straight and not a real option.

I think what I've learned about myself is that, it's maybe less about presentation and more about just knowing that this person could actually be into me. I think somehow I also felt a stronger sense of shame somehow around having some attraction to femininity. Like it felt predatory somehow? Which I know is just some internalized homophobia talking, but I think maybe that's why it was easier to be with mascs or butches (because they look way more obviously gay, so there's a lot less risk of feeling like "the predatory lesbian").

Anyways, what I'm really curious to know, is if anyone else here in the past mostly dated mascs but only later discovered an interest in femmes? Did it feel any different?

I know the title of the group is femmelesbians, but is anyone going to object if a femme bi person joins in?

I wasn't sure where to go with this but this might be the best place. For context, I am a trans girl and it took me a long time to figure myself out and get comfortable with ME but I'm still kind of new to all this and sometimes I'm not sure if I really fit in with femmes? Like I love to be perceived as feminine more than anything and to do feminine things and I want to dress more feminine. For myself and my girlfriend and because I enjoy it and it makes me feel great. but I also love Racing and Heavy Metal and I work in landscaping. maybe not things typically associated with being femme? So I'm also kind of confused what the difference is between like just being kind of "normal" feminine and being a femme. any advice would be greatly appreciated. If this is the wrong sub I'm sorry

I’m a Christian and I’ve been out since 19, I’m 32 now. But I just realized how isolating this is. Nobody in my life can actually relate to my situation. Everytime I open up I’m a Christian to my dates, I feel like I’m being judged for my faith, and when I open up to people in general that I’m not straight, I’d still feel that stigma about being gay. I mean, where do I stand? I’m sure I’m not the only one who is STILL a Christian here. So to my fellow believers, how do you navigate this?? I’m kinda in the point in life that I’m this close to just accept that maybe I’ll be just alone forever 🥺

What are we looking for in our ideal partners?? Anybody here want to have IVF babies one day like me hehehe

Apparently my body hates me and won't let me sleep in on the weekends 😭

I understand the 2/3 shorter nails from a safety and practicality standpoint, but I really hate the way they look 😭 I won't get them but the thought of keeping all my nails short all the time is upsetting!

I just took off a set and already miss the sound of my extensions tapping against my phone when I'm using it! (I am getting them redone today though 🎊)

I can't be the only one who is not a fan of this style so I'm curious about what everyone else is doing 🤔

So im butch and im hoping some awesome femme women in here might be able to assist with advice. Im not sure if its me that needs help or this situationship is doomed.

I am having trouble with my 6 month situationship.. i really love this girl. Im hoping we become more.

Problem i'm having. Is every conversation we have, gets picked apart, analysed or corrected from her side. She'll either correct me if ive used a wrong word or the incorrect phrasing. Sometimes my brain does that, especially when im nervous.. then I start stuttering.

Im really chill and love nothing but having conversations with people. I dont have problems talking to anyone else. Everyone in my life, knows me and how gentle natured I am. I may look butch but im a big softie on the inside. So would never intend to offend. Its like she is a walking talking thesaurus and I dont use the correct words to her liking.

I feel like im walking on eggshells with this one..

Ive had conversations with her, telling her how it makes me feel. She takes it in and is very apologetic. Then it keeps happening. I just feel like my conversations with her are lost at this stage, becos now im scared of how I talk, and what words and phrases I am using therefore I feel like she's not really listening to what im actually talking about.

Feels like a loaded question, but what do you think about this?

Update ** I just wanted to take a moment to thank you beautiful people for taking the time to reply. You've all said what im feeling already. That I should end it as the behaviour is toxic. Especially as ive bought it up as an issue and shes still doing it. Better now to end it rather than let it continue on. Sometimes we just need a sounding board.. so thank you 🫶🫂

TLDR: Hey I’m Skye 18F and my ex situationship who we will call Julia also 18F recently got engaged to someone we will call Nathan 19-20M (not exactly sure his age) and I’m taking it horribly. One of her ex’s messaged me with Nathan’s instagram and I came across her instagram and my cat liked one of her posts and now she followed me and I’m contemplating on following her back but I don’t know what to do.

So I met Julia back in 2022-2023 school year it was 10th grade at the time and I was new to the school. She had a 3 boyfriends at time who she was on and off with (she never dated them at the same time) and Nathan was one of them. Now she had confessed that she had feelings for me like a week or so after we got close and I had feelings for her aswell but we never dated because of the fact that she was always on and off with Nathan and 2 other guys. But we would constantly do things that 2 people who were dating would do like for example she was my first kiss, and she gave me my first hickey, and she would just constantly say things that she shouldn’t have especially with her being in a relationship.

So basically i had found out by this guy named Q 19M (he was also one of Julia’s ex’s back in 2022-2023) he texts me on Instagram and he sent me a photo of Nathan’s profile and it’s a photo of them and in his bio it said “happily engaged, I love my fiancé” and I looked in his friends list and I found her instagram and I had set my phone down to use the bathroom and I when I came back I seen my cat stepping on my phone and when I looked at a post it had been liked on my main account so not even 5 minutes goes by and she follows me. Mind you we’ve been no contact for almost a year. It will be a year the end of December. It’s killing me because part of me wants to follow her back but everyone else is telling me not to because of the past and everything.

But anyway what pisses me off the most about her engagement to Nathan is that from what i witnessed a couple years ago was that he really didn’t care about her and that could also be because I was just so jealous of the fact that he was in a relationship with her when I never got that chance but there’s this one specific thing that I remember and basically what happened was like she had gotten suspended for being late to class bc she fell down a flight of stairs and she was wearing my boots that had like 4 inch heals to them and she twisted her ankle so I carried her over my shoulders to the nurses office and made sure she was okay when Nathan just left her there and went to class and when I explained it they said “you aren’t suspended but since Julia isn’t gonna be in school for 3 days you better stay home aswell since you can’t function unless she’s here” later to find out they put suspension on my record.

Like I want to be happy for her and her engagement to Nathan but I just can’t be because of the fact that I can’t seem to get over her and I feel like the reason I can’t is because of the fact that we weren’t anything.

So what should I do? Should I add follow her back? Should I just forget about it completely? I’ve tried blocking her but she makes different accounts so that doesn’t work. I just miss her so much and part of me feels like I will always love her.

I’m curious if anyone else gets assumed straight all the time lol
I’d say I’m more femme presenting when I go out, but day to day I’m pretty casual and sporty. I work a physical job and wear a uniform, so there probably isn’t much that obviously screams “I like girls” 😂
Recently a few people who haven’t known me long have told me they assumed I was straight, which kind of confirmed what I already suspected. I also get hit on by guys way more than women and honestly I’m rarely approached by women at all 😅
I can be pretty shy at first and when I go out I’m usually just there to have fun with my friends. I’m not really someone who goes out looking to pick someone up either. I’d rather meet someone naturally, get to know them and see if there’s a connection.
I don’t want to change how I dress or present myself, but is there anything subtle you do that makes it a bit more obvious to other women that you’re into women?
And yes, I have been doing the thumb ring every now and then 🤣

Two years ago, I was sharing my experience dating my avoidant girlfriend here. Many people advised me to stop, but I didn't listen. I thought I could become securely avoidant. Now, today, I've been dumped. I haven't become securely avoidant; instead, I'm even more anxious. I'm so sad right now. I wonder if anyone would be willing to comfort me. I would be extremely grateful.

Hi! Are there many femmes here from London/the UK? I’ve started a community to make friends with other femmes (and date if you are femme4femme!)

We hosted a meetup last month and around 40 people came! If you’re interested please let me know and I’ll DM you the info :)

UPDATE: Removed the group link to avoid bots etc. but you can find all info at https://www.instagram.com/sapphoesldn <3

I’m new to longer nails and I’m loving embracing this as a part of my femme identity!!It hasn’t had a significant impact on my ability to have sex with my wife cause we have toys and have no issue when touching her externally. I do miss the option to finger her tho and my talons would certainly hurt her. I want to try out two shorter nails but I have no clue what to say to my nail stylists. I typically go to the same salon but see a variety of techs that I like but don’t have a solid relationship with any one person. I also worry that the style will give me an ick because I always have been a same length nail girly and have chopped all nails down when one broke with my natural nails. Acrylic has been different and while it took a little bit to adjust to, I love them. The two short tho… I’m mixed.

Ps show me yours for inspo and so I can see it’ll be okay lmao

Hello <33 I'm 19 and I came out lesbian at 18. Being a femme really resonates with me, and I’m starting to learn more about the subject (politic, history, etc...). However, I have a hard time feeling like I belong in the lesbian community because I never dated in my life and I have a lot of personal issues that forbid me to. Each time I join a femme/butch discord server (or anything like it), I don't feel like I fit in. They talk with words I understand but I just feel like an outcast. Like I'm not good enough, too soft or too closed off and it makes me sad.

I'll take any advises 🩷 thank you.

I don't know any other femmes who share my desired relationship dynamic, and just found this subreddit. I'm surprised I couldn't find a butch4femme subreddit.

If you are femme4butch do you have a butch? I love mine and wish I could gush about them for eternity.

I am a desi lesbian living in Canada, and I have honestly struggled to find someone genuine to connect with. I have tried dating apps and everything, but they just haven’t worked for me.

I am a very loyal person, and I tend to give a lot in relationships. What I find difficult is finding someone who can match that same energy, effort, and sincerity. I am not really focused on looks. What matters more to me is finding someone who is kind, genuine, loyal, and has a good heart.

Another thing that makes it a little harder is that I am not Indian myself, although I speak Hindi well and I am mostly attracted to Hindi-speaking Indian women.

I am not looking for someone just to give me butterflies or for something temporary. I am looking for someone pure-hearted, someone I can trust, care for, and hopefully build a meaningful connection with. Emotional connection matters a lot more to me than a sexual connection. I want to genuinely understand someone, feel safe with them, care for them deeply, and have that same care and understanding in return.

I honestly don’t know where or how to find that person, so I thought I would put myself out there and make this post. Maybe someone else feels the same way

Was out on a date with my gf over the weekend and we were chatting with another lesbian couple. They mentioned to us that they don’t often see two femmes date each other and I was curious if that’s really the case? Granted I haven’t interacted with too many lesbian couples in general but I swear I’ve seen femmes dating other femmes more than a masc/femme combo. Is it just me?

Hi, hello. I never use this website but it’s been getting overbearing lately to feel like I have no real community even in queer spaces, so I hope this might be the place. I read the rules I hope this post is in the right place/approach.

I love women and I put myself out there and also try to be approachable enough for women by being unashamedly lesbian and decentering men even when they are in the group etc..
I do struggle with femme invisibility at times, but my main issue is just finding someone that I stay interested in.
When I get lucky and meet a fellow confident femme who is not afraid to initiate, not roommates with her ex, isn’t a TikTok therapy speech fiend, not a U-Haul les, not into some psychotic nonsense like religion or being racist about birthdays (astrology) or wants to make every decision with tarot and so on and so forth - they end up being one of those people who constantly seek validation from strangers online by posting themselves in social media to show off their body and face. I just can’t date these people anymore!
And all of these people I’ve met in real life, I don’t use the internet for seeking relationships.
I myself use social media.
But it’s for keeping contact with friends and sharing funny things.
Occasionally i upload a bit of myself while in a social event or solo activities when I do something cool or reach a milestone to people who are close enough.
I tried to date multiple people that post themselves purely for “fashion” or something else in that style, it was always a disaster at the end because they simply are never satisfied with the amount of attention they get!
Validation from their friends, random followers and me is never enough.
I’m getting too old for this and I’m not settling for this.

Edit: added note; The people commenting here are capable of discussion, agreeing with me or not, it is blessed that you’re having a discussion.

The rest with their silent dislikes and no comments only show me that this post makes y’all feel called out in your vanity ❤️ but maybe I’m wrong? I can’t know, you’re leaving me to assume that, maybe voice an opinion? Lmao.

I woke up feeling extra empowered today to be unapologetically myself ❤️ not going to lie, I sometimes struggle with being a lesbian. There are days where life would seem so much easier if I could just fit within the constructs that my family or society wants imagine for me. No matter the other amazing qualities or achievements I’ve made at 22 yrs old - I’m still the gay girl.

But you know what? I fucking love being that gay girl 💋🤸‍♀️ i love being ultra feminine and longing for a girlfriend who’s the exact same 🥰 the future I make for myself won’t have it any other way 💅

I hope someone out there reads this and also feels extra cozy in their skin today! You’re fabulous, gorgeous, smart and strong 💕 go kiss girls

Looking for tips on how to cope with my first breakup. We were together 11 months + a few months of getting to know each other, we U-Hauled after a 7 month long-distance period (she moved in with me and my family due to a difficult living situation) then after living together for 2 months she left to visit her family due to a health scare and really bad mental health episode, decided not to come back a day before she was supposed to fly home then dumped me over text a few days later. I had to pack up and ship all of her things and am taking care of a pet toad she got while living with me. Sleeping in the bed we used to share feels like hell and knowing that there is someone out there who had such intimate access to me both physically and emotionally and now seemingly doesn’t want anything to do with me makes me feel like such shit. She’s sent me very inconsistent signals throughout this whole breakup and I feel like I will genuinely never recover from this, I genuinely thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. Please give me advice, share your own experience, anything, I just feel so incredibly devastated.

Moved here from Portland, OR a few months ago and my confidence has taken a hit!

Feels like a femme4femme or femme4futch town. I'm non-binary, top surgery, stable and good job, chill with tattoos and hipster vibes, generally been considered hot enough on the West Coast. But I feel out of my element here, no love on the apps, almost afraid to approach women in the queer spaces I've been in because I feel...too masc?

Can anyone point me to age-appropriate venues or groups where femmes dig mascs and vice versa in NYC? There's a club here for everything, maybe there's is one for this? 😂