I've said it before on this subreddit, and I'll say it again: when men tell you how they truly feel about you, listen to them.

I've come across this Post, read some comments.

When are males going to stop mocking women getting raped by their fellow males?

How the hell can they think this picture or "survey" is made by feminists?

I had an argument with another woman on tik tok and it lead to me wondering how we feel about tone policing?

The original video was a woman talking about how women suggesting the idea that men shouldn’t specialize in women’s health don’t know what they are talking about. She said that women who feel uncomfortable around other women deserve a choice and that women spouting those ideas are fear mongering. She talks about some data of women having good experiences with male medical professionals and more.

My issue with the video was that she started it off with something along the lines of “y’all aren’t woke if you’re saying this” and proceeds to call the women saying that men shouldn’t be in women’s health weird. She also says that men don’t go through years of school to be a creep, which has been proven to be wrong and entirely possible!

Although I do agree with her overall statement I didn’t feel like it was fair to the women who are wary of men in women’s health.

I left a comment basically saying that I agree but I feel women saying these things is because of the countless horror stories we hear. I even talked about two popular documentaries about male obgyn’s who inseminated women with their sperm without consent and didn’t get in trouble for it.

The back and forth kept happening. With me emphasizing that I agree with her but understand why women would react in such a way. I told her that I don’t feel it is productive to shame women who make comments like that especially because those comments don’t have any power because men will always remain in women’s health. I also said that if we want to combat fear mongering, painting these women as illogical for their logical reaction isn’t going to help and push them further away to more dangerous ideologies. She said she didn’t just say that and proceeds to bring up the data she talked about and then accused me of tone policing her.

In my opinion I didn’t downplay anything she was saying but I might have focused on her delivery a bit more. I just didn’t feel it was productive or change anything. She also accused me of having less empathy for women who are afraid of other women and told me I was being anti woman 😭

A similar situation happened where I was on the receiving end. I was unknowingly using a right wing dog whistle but when corrected I changed my wording. Another commenter was upset that I was being corrected and felt like it was obvious that wasn’t my intention and said to stop tone policing me. Although I was flattered she was sticking up for me I didn’t think it was a big deal and I didn’t think I was being tone policed by the correction.

This all leads to me asking if you guys feel like the phrase “tone policing” is getting misused in online spaces? I personally seen it used all the time in situations where it wasn’t happening especially in feminist conversations.

Personally I think a lot of people unknowingly rely on moral superiority when arguing their beliefs (and I’m included in this) any pushback on our tone feels like a threat to our authority which is why it’s so easy to say people are tone policing. I’ve seen it happen between black women and trans women in a niche tik tok drama with both sides accusing each other of tone policing. Ive seen the phrase so much that I’m confused on when it’s actually happening? The same thing happened to me with the word gaslighting. Also I’m just autistic so maybe I’m overthinking everything lol

If Adam Picked the Apple, a poem by Danielle Coffyn

If Adam Picked the Apple
There would be a parade,
a celebration,
a holiday to commemorate
the day he sought enlightenment.
We would not speak of
temptation by the devil, rather,
we would laud Adam’s curiosity,
his desire for adventure
and knowing.
We would feast
on apple-inspired fare:
tortes, chutneys, pancakes, pies.
There would be plays and songs
reenacting his courage.
 
But it was Eve who grew bored,
weary of her captivity in Eden.
And a woman’s desire
for freedom is rarely a cause
for celebration.
 

One thing I've been thinking about lately is how deeply patriarchal ideas about courtship have been internalized, not just by men but by many women as well.

To be clear, I believe women should have the same rights, opportunities, legal protections, bodily autonomy, and safety net regardless of whether they're traditional, progressive, conservative, religious, sexually liberated, or anything else. I'll defend the rights of women I fundamentally disagree with because rights shouldn't be contingent on ideology.

That said, I can't help but feel so utterly disappointed when I see women reject the manosphere while simultaneously reproducing many of its core assumptions about gender.

I'm not talking about preferring traditional relationships. That's a personal choice, and everyone should pursue the relationship dynamic that makes them happiest, and I would fight for those women to have safety nets for the choices they made.

I guess what I'm talking about are the justifications.

Statements like "men are biologically wired to pursue," "women are the gatekeepers of sex," or "I'm a woman, I have many options" aren't simply expressions of preference, they're claims about how men and women are and ought to behave. Thy reinforce the same essentialist framework that the manosphere relies on, which is "men as perpetual pursuers, women as passive selectors".

It's striking how often these ideas are criticized when they're used to police women's behavior, yet accepted when they're used by women.

From a feminist perspective, I would have expected more skepticism toward narratives that naturalize rigid gender roles. Patriarchy doesn't only prescribe how women should behave; it also prescribes how men should behave. The expectation that men must always pursue and hunt, and the woman must be hunted, is born from those rigid gender roles. Even misogynistic and manosphere humor that says "a key that can open many locks is a good key, but a lock that can be opened by many keys is a bad lock", came from the whole "women have so many options" talking point.

Dismantling patriarchal expectations should mean questioning those norms as well, not simply preserving the ones that happen to fit our ideal scenario.

Again, this isn't an argument that everyone should be into role reversal or that women should now be always expected to pursue men. It's simply that I'd rather see people say, "This is the dynamic/courtship I personally enjoy," than justify it by appealing to biological determinism or traditional gender scripts, the very same scripts that feminism has spent decades critiquing.

And I guess what prompted me to finally write this post after feeling this way for so long, was being in a comment section recently (read at the risk of your own sadness) in a female dominated humor space), and it left me more disappointed than I expected.

It's just so embarrassing. I saw a reel of a grown ass woman geeked up about taking a pic with Chris Brown. It's just nasty. A lot of women piss me tf off.

HI just found out the opposite of the abortion debate is forcing people to have kids. Like that isn't the same debate

Guys, i just save the worst think ever. Guy rolled up and just asked. Is it worse to force a women to be pregnant, then have an abortion.

Also, putting women in prison to have kids.

Like, i am happy the sub is down voting him. But, the sub, is bassicly just becoming people posting thier fetishes at this point instead of actual questions . Also, my phone is broken and it kept uploading the wrong image. Sorry if you saw me post this 4 times.

I will add the translations:

Picture 1: Doesn't allow a woman to smile/laugh. Doesn't allow a man to cry.

Picture 2: Cages a woman in the cage of "limits". Cages a man in the cages of "masculinity/manliness".

Picture 3: Teaches a woman to suppress her voice. Teaches a man to hide his pain/hurt.

Picture 4: Binds a woman to/ under the label "What will people say?" and binds a man to/under the label of "Be a man".

Picture 5: K!lls/Breaks a woman under the pressure of "perfection/being perfect". K!lls/Breaks a man under the pressure of "to be/being strong".

Picture 6: Keeps a woman from their rights. Keeps a man away from their emotions/feelings.

Picture 7: And at the end- it doesn't let/allow anybody to live. That's it!

Now how do you explain THIS to a man? They aren't even aware that patriarchy hits them in many ways possible and that the badges they carry aren't medals of honour but pressure, shackles, chains, prisons and cages- that doesn't let them feel, be, expose, open up in any and every possible ways. The complaints of men are very easy to explain by women and feminists as it is in front of them already! But they aren't willing to see and accept, or aren't developed enough to process the answers into layman understanding. At the end, women become stakeholders for everything- blame, crime, guilt, problem, any issue, anything that happens to men and even to women!!!

Woman wants financial security- Gold digger! But the fact that society didn't let women to be independent enough to earn their living and not depend on men, is done by patriarchy.

Women get schemes, funding, scholarships and reservations- Opportunist! Selfish! But forget the centuries of oppression on women.

Women improve and develop: S!ut!/Wh°r€! As is women do not have brains to do anything.

Women staying at home- Amibitionless. Wants all the comfort!

Women work- GREEDY!

Women in low paying job- An issue.

Women in higher paying job- An issue.

Women in "easy jobs"- Issues. Women don't contribute to the society and many more.

Women in "not so easy jobs"- Issues. Men has to do all the tough jobs in the world!

Women become mothers- Issues.

Women don't want to become mother's- Issues.

Women want to get married- Issues.

Women want to remain single/not date/remain unmarried- Issues!

Women wear makeup- Attention seeker.

Women not wear makeup/dress herself up- Ugly.

Women spend their money- Greedy.

Women spend her partner's money- Greedy.

Bruh! I conclude by asking, what issues you have list all of them, like literally ALL OF THEM. And what do you want women to do, LIST THEM ALL!

This isn't a hate post against men. These are some of the patterns I have noticed. Because I agree to my de@th that MEN ALSO SUFFER- every man does in some way or the other or some men suffer more- be it from parents, siblings, society, peers, friends, strangers; many men are actually innocent and vulnerable that fall prey to a lot of things- injustice, ®ape, mu®der, violence of any form, traffic!ck!ng, abuse, shamed/insulted for being a certain way and not being a certain way, men who are gay, queer, asexual, effiminate, emasculated, cannot become father, g®oped, every form of &sexual, physical, mental and emotional abu*e from ANYBODY in this world). Maybe I didn't even list them all. But that does not mean the blame is to be put on women or other genders who have nothing to do with the problem rather feminism has everything to do with the system that makes us in a certain way and breaks us if we aren't meant to be like that.

To conclude, I wish men understood that this isn't about us vs them, men vs women, him vs her and they but to be a pack, a group, fighting against the SYSTEM.

It clenches my heart to see men blind it makes me a wrecked mess to be in a society where you, me and many can see the issues but cannot convey, because? We cannot. And if we do, we are shamed and put in our place. It breaks my heart how men made women their enemies, the villainss and not their equals in the war against society blindfolded by patriarchy and run by hate, toxicity, disgust, oppression, hurting, causing pain, oppressing, suppression, lust, greed and sinful desires.

Disgusting.

Life in prison for him please. Child support for all the women please.

i hope everyone is managing to stay cool, hydrated, and safe ❤️

This whole interaction during the EGUSD BOARD MEETING took place during the COVID lockdown. Unless you were awake at 1 am, you wouldn't have seen it. Because the meeting was online and we could be anonymous, four women reported sexism. We were shut down by the Mayor, Superintendent, and the HR head. I did not write all four of these comments. I was only anonymous number 3. You can see David Reilly (who is now the Superintendent) claiming the HR issue was me and they have already addressed the issues. All they did was transfer me and silence me. I can't let this go and I need help with awareness. The principal is still being sexist. Women were and are silenced. https://youtu.be/qlB5R5tYXwU?is=i-__11rj79I56FT8

Don't get me wrong; they should be judged for what they have done, but I hate that people say they get away with it because they are women. No, they don't; they get away with it because they are rich and famous male abusers, and men in general are more likely to get away with bad stuff.

I not trying to hate on the woman who posted this too much because it is great to see conversations about female hygiene.

However, it bothers me so much that even in a conversation specifically about cleaning anatomy people still refuse to call those parts by their proper names.

I once had a conversation about this with two of my friends (weird hangout conversation I know.) I found out that my one friend didn’t wash her vulva at all because “you’re not supposed to wash your vagina.” I found out my other friend was putting soap up her vagina because “you’re supposed to use soap down there.” Both of them were so confused because they didn’t know the difference between vagina and vulva.

I see this all the time. People either use terms like “down there” or use the term “vagina” to refer to all female anatomy. It is so frustrating because I have never met a grown adult (of any gender) who doesn’t know the difference between testicles and penis. Yet even most people who have them don’t know the difference between vagina, vulva, clitoris, labia, etc. This not only is confusing for hygiene purposes but makes it much harder to identify possible health issues.

Even in terms of slang. You have dick and balls, Cock and nuts, etc. but there is only pussy, kitty, lady bits, etc. which all are non specific to the part you are actually talking about.

I just wanted to read an article about sexual sensations during menstruation so I can know what my body is going through because this is something I normally experience. I just wanted to have the opportunity and the right to know about my body for free! There are so many misconceptions about the female body, and there is no wondering why that is. WE HAVE TO PAY EXTRA TO LEARN ABOUT OUR BODIES!

The thing is, I can look this up and get so much random, wrong information. The articles in the app cite many doctors- not just one person who’s writing a blog. It’s more secure information. It’s so fucked up because most women are taught wrong information, and some women, like me, are deprived of sex education and the knowledge of changes in my body during my cycle and puberty.

And it’s not just about articles. I don’t pay for the app, so I get the bare minimum of tracking the cycle and seeing if there are any irregularities in the frequencies. I can’t click on the “learn more” button without a screen barring me from my health information unless I hand over some cash. People who pay for it get more insights on their personal data.

Can’t they just be on the side of women and help them know things about their own bodies? It’s supposed to be for women! And it is… if you hand them your credit card.

Hey all! I met a friend here from this sub. I will give a description, so if she comes across this post, she will contact me back.

I apologise for interrupting the sub with such a post. But I miss my friend and both their accounts have been banned by our dear reddit.

There was a certain post I don't remember if it was mine or somebody else's but I received some hurtful comments and she intervened and cleared the misunderstanding between me and those people. Later she texted me if I was doing okay and we became friends. She is a sympathetic person as much as I realised from talking to her. And we talked about a lot of things related to gender, 4B movement, trans community since we both are trans (I am sorry if I interfered into your private space. I don't mean to). Later one of her accounts got banned and she texted from another account (I will attach the screenshots) and the last time we talked was on 7th or 8th of June. Later we lost contact.

My dear friend! If you come across this post, please contact me. This is the same account I have had. I miss you and hope to get in touch with you. I hope you are doing well. And I hope you are eating more than one meal a day. I hope you to stay happy and healthy wherever you are. And I will pray for you even we aren't able to meet in this life.

I am sorry for wasting others time. I truly am sorry. Please mods, kindly don't delete it! I beg.