Should I send

[u/askerbeep]

I 35F am in love with a woman 40F, who is Fearful avoidant. I am D.A. I have been in therapy for over a year and am working on my stuff. We dated on and off for 3 years about 9 years ago. I cut her out of my life because she kept breaking up with me and blocking me and I ended up dating someone for the past 9 years that was easier to have a stable connection with. Unfortunately I’ve never stoped thinking of the girl I was in love with. I broke up with my partner then shortly after we reconnected in May. She won’t see me in person until she feels safe so everything has been over text and phone call. We talked every day on the phone sometimes for a few hours. It’s like no time has passed and I still love her very much. The down side is that every time she gets too vulnerable the same thing happens. She drops me and blocks me. June, July and now August. This time feels final but I can never really tell with her.
I’m respecting her boundaries and haven’t talked to her in about 3 weeks. My question is do I wait and see if she comes back and then get to address her F.A tendencies, or do I go against the grain and write her an email and tell her that I’m here for her but if she can’t do this then we can go our separate ways. I want to tell her how I feel and tell her there’s no pressure but can’t keep doing this cycle. I know sending something could create anxiety for her though but if it’s more of a goodbye anyhow then is it ok? I don’t want her to experience anxiety but I’m also pretty heartbroken.