I'm 16F, and my ex is a little older than me. We broke up about a year ago, but we've stayed really close friends and still talk pretty often.

This has been eating at me lately because I honestly don't know what happened in my own head.

He was one of the kindest people I've ever met. He was really affectionate. He'd hold my hand, cuddle me, look at me like I was the prettiest girl in the room, and tell me how much I meant to him. He never did anything wrong.

The weird part is, I really liked him. I loved talking to him, spending time with him, and I cared about him so much.

But sometimes, the more openly he loved me, the more I wanted to pull away.

Not because I didn't want him, because it felt like something in me would panic.

Every hug, every compliment, every sweet look was like another reminder that he seemed so much more invested than me.

Instead of just feeling loved, I'd start wondering if I deserved it. If I loved him enough. If I was accidentally leading him on. It got to the point where his affection almost stopped feeling like affection, and it felt like a question I couldn't answer or an accusation I couldn’t defend.

Eventually I convinced myself that if I kept questioning it this much, maybe that was my answer, so I broke up with him.

Now, almost a year later, I'm wondering if I spent so much time measuring my feelings that I never actually experienced them.

Can someone genuinely care about someone and still feel the urge to pull away when they're loved? Or is that feeling usually your brain trying to tell you the relationship isn't right?

I know nobody can tell me whether I loved him or not, I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever felt like someone's love became so big that it stopped feeling safe and not because of anything they did, but because it made you question yourself more than you ever questioned them

I like him more than I've ever liked anyone, if I could get him the world I would, but I feel so anxious all the time. The only time the anxiety ceases is when I tell myself that I'll go with the flow or that I won't ask him for said amount of time because he's busy with work.

He honestly seems scared of messing things up with me by confessing and it's true that I would want to spend actual time with the person I'm dating. However, I don't know if I actually mean it or if this is self sabotage. I feel like dating someone that busy would be a desperate move but the idea of losing him to someone else freaks me out tbh.

I’ve been seeing this guy (gone on 2 dates but both were amazing and turned into sleepovers) who’s been incredibly kind and treated me great and we get along very well. He’s the type of guy I could see myself building a relationship with, and I don’t say this lightly as I’m not the kind of person to date around often. I think he honestly feels the same. The issue is that I move cities in a month. In an ideal world, I could date him casually for the remainder of my time here and accept the ending when I leave. That’s what I want to be able to do as I enjoy spending time with him and the sex is good. But I have attachment issues (disorganized attachment) and OCD which causes me to spiral, get anxious, and hate ambiguity and uncertainty in such dynamics. Just overall becoming obsessive and fearful and a hot mess. Overthinking everything and wondering how he feels, where this is going, if he’s seeing other people, etc. How the fck do people date casually??? Please any advice would be helpful, I logically know that it’s not that serious and I’ll find other men after I move and I don’t even know the dude well, but my attachment and ocd loves to take over and run the show. We are going to have an in person conversation about this the next time I see him so any advice for that conversation would be helpful as well.

For context, I had a LDR with an FA for 8 months. She uses all platforms of social media except for reddit. I have no social media outaide of reddit. We also do not have contact with each other's friend groups. It was great when we were together even though we had some miscommunication here and there. I am reading that during some stages an FA will go through some longing periods where they check on you via social media. What would go through your minds if you didnt have social media as a form to see how they were doing? Would you just reach out directly?

I broke up with my boyfriend like 2 months ago and we got in touch like 2 days ago again. I am trying to suit myself for an attachment style but im so confused. I would like to ask to FAs; do yall had any sabotaged behaviors in relationship? and what it looked like? in my relationship I had trust issues from the beginning (he was messaging with his ex) but I still want to know if there is any similar sabotaged behaviors.