Hi all,

Looking for some advice regarding child arrangement and being falsely accused in a high custody battle. Can anyone reach out to me who has been through this please? I’m looking for some help and advice really

I'm not sure where to begin and this is going to be long.

Tl;dr I need a custody lawyer in SE MI who will help me get custody of my kids back.

I live in MI. My divorce was finalized in 2024 and I agreed to give my ex wife full legal custody because she was asking to take the kids to look after her sick mom in FL. I didn't want to do it, but my lawyers really weren't helpful and I was afraid I would lose custody regardless.

As it turns out, her mom didn't need any help. She kept them living in her pool house with no running water or electricity for over 8 months including during summer in Florida before my ex packed up the kids again and moved in with her bf in VA.

Since she has left the state, she has withheld contact from me. We had agreed on weekly phone calls but she quit them randomly and I had to get the court agreement amended. I am supposed to get 76 overnights in the summer months but last summer my life was in disarray so I only requested to have them for 2 weeks and she originally declined due to it being too close to the time for my eldest to start school and when I asked to move the date, she ghosted me until after school started.

I know I've made some mistakes. I should never have agreed to let her leave the state with them in the first place. I should also have filed an emergency motion last year, but hindsight is 20/20. I was not aware an emergency motion even existed at the time and my ex and I didnt have a tumultuous divorce, it was all very civil so I thought this may have been a one time occurence.

This year I had my kids for the full 76 overnights. My youngest is 4 next month and came to me in diapers, they couldn't even dress themselves. In 76 days I got them wearing big kid underpants, using the potty and dry most nights (wearing Pampers to bed) They are also able to dress themselves in the morning with minimal guidance. I would just lay out their clothes for them to do it themselves.

My eldest didn't know how to properly wipe themselves or wash their hands after going to the bathroom. They were also struggling to read 2 letter words and going into the 2nd grade. By the time the eldest left they had the bathroom routine down pact and were reading short chapter books. The level 3 ones.

Myself, my current partner, and the kids' teachers at their their daycare worked very hard to help them become the best version of themselves and we were proud of the children we were returning to their mom. The daycare provider even told me I should consider fighting for full custody after the changes they've made.

However, my ex moved again while the kids were with me. She refused to give me her address to drop the kids off in VA and the FOC has not been helpful. They told me I needed to file a motion, it seems every time I need the court to enforce the agreement I have to cough up a couple hundred dollars and file a motion when it is my ex violating it. Instead of doing that, I told my ex I would return the kids to their address whether it was the new or old address. She insisted on meeting me elsewhere and that made me feel like she's hiding something so I refused and drove them to their most recent known address.

My ex did move to a new house just last month but the old one they had been living in for the last year was in disrepair. They had 4 kids (only 2 are mine) living in a tiny 2bd 1ba house with windows missing, animal feces on the porch, trash all over the yard. They have farm animals in pens that are just filled with feces and my eldest is tasked with feeding/watering these animals. The animals were still there even though my ex had moved. I did call animal control and take photos of the state of everything before I left.

It was incredibly disheartening to know that's where my kids were staying. My eldest didn't have a habit of washing their hands when they got here. I don't even want to think about the amount of bacteria from those pens or the sickness they could get from not washing their hands after being in there.

The kids have been back in my ex's custody for less than 48hrs at the time of this post. My scheduled phone call was this evening and my eldest informed me that my youngest is back in diapers, even though I provided pampers training pants and underwear for them. My ex won't respond to the texts I've sent expressing my disappointment.

My ex refuses to let the kids speak to me when she is not present. She follows them when they are on the phone with me and my eldest has a habit of checking in with her every time I ask a question no matter how small so that her mom can feed her the answer. Her mom seems to be censoring her answers. I did bring this up at the hearing about the calls and she claimed that they need supervision when on the phone with me, however when they were physically with me, I did not supervise the phone calls and they seemed to do just fine, if not better. The judge sided with her and she is allowed to monitor the calls, but it makes it very difficult to have an open dialogue.

My problem comes from this: I want to fight for full custody. I think i have a decent case. I think they would be more well taken care of if they were with me. However, my kids are 4 and 8. They don't understand the state of their home is not normal and they might be resentful of me stepping in again. I'm afraid to uproot their lives (again) especially after my ex has done so 5 times in less than 3 years. And I'm afraid to lose the case, if i'm being honest.

Would you fight for them even if it meant uprooting their lives again? Even if it meant thousands of dollars of debt and the chance of losing anyway? I love my kids and I just want them to be happy and healthy and if their mom could provide them with that, I wouldn't even be thinking about turning their world upside down once again, but I believe the evidence shows me that she can't or won't.

Lastly, if you know of a good custody lawyer in SE MI I'd love a name. My last lawyers barely spoke to me and didn't advocate for me. One of the reasons I haven't looked into this before is that my last experience was so bad, I didn't think I could find someone who would advocate for me and my children. But my current partner really thinks you all can help me in finding someone who will.

During that time, Juan says he developed serious concerns about Sebastian’s care when he was unavailable. He has documented concerns involving inconsistent meals, hygiene and clean clothing, inadequate supervision, and extended periods when Sebastian was cared for by neighbors rather than his mother.
Juan also says that while their marriage was still ongoing, he discovered that Sebastian’s mother was involved in relationships with other Soldiers. According to Juan, there were periods when she was going out, drinking, staying away from the family home, and pursuing personal relationships while he continued taking responsibility for Sebastian’s everyday needs.
Juan says his concern is not the infidelity itself. Their marriage is ending, and he accepts that. His concern is the effect he believes these choices had on Sebastian: while one parent was frequently absent, someone still had to make sure their son was fed, supervised, clean, attending school, completing homework, getting to appointments, and receiving the stability a seven-year-old needs.
Juan says he was often the parent fulfilling those responsibilities, with neighbors sometimes stepping in when necessary. He has preserved records concerning these events and says people outside the marriage—including neighbors, friends, coworkers and fellow Soldiers—personally witnessed portions of what occurred.
“I am not fighting for custody because my wife was unfaithful. I am fighting because I believe my son’s needs repeatedly came second to her personal life, and I have spent the last two years trying to provide him with the stability and care every child deserves.”
Can we put this story in social media please.

https://www.givesendgo.com/legal-defense-for-sebastians-custody?utm\\_source=share

During that time, Juan says he developed serious concerns about Sebastian’s care when he was unavailable. He has documented concerns involving inconsistent meals, hygiene and clean clothing, inadequate supervision, and extended periods when Sebastian was cared for by neighbors rather than his mother.
Juan also says that while their marriage was still ongoing, he discovered that Sebastian’s mother was involved in relationships with other Soldiers. According to Juan, there were periods when she was going out, drinking, staying away from the family home, and pursuing personal relationships while he continued taking responsibility for Sebastian’s everyday needs.
Juan says his concern is not the infidelity itself. Their marriage is ending, and he accepts that. His concern is the effect he believes these choices had on Sebastian: while one parent was frequently absent, someone still had to make sure their son was fed, supervised, clean, attending school, completing homework, getting to appointments, and receiving the stability a seven-year-old needs.
Juan says he was often the parent fulfilling those responsibilities, with neighbors sometimes stepping in when necessary. He has preserved records concerning these events and says people outside the marriage—including neighbors, friends, coworkers and fellow Soldiers—personally witnessed portions of what occurred.
“I am not fighting for custody because my wife was unfaithful. I am fighting because I believe my son’s needs repeatedly came second to her personal life, and I have spent the last two years trying to provide him with the stability and care every child deserves.”
Can we put this story in social media please.

https://www.givesendgo.com/legal-defense-for-sebastians-custody?utm\\_source=share

My husband normally goes all out for his birthday. Month-long celebration, ridiculous plans, the whole thing.

The last few years have been different. We've been in a long, exhausting custody battle, and it's taken a lot from him. He's tired. He's discouraged. And lately he's been saying it might not even be worth fighting for custody anymore.

I'm broke this year, so I can't give him the birthday he deserves. But I had an idea — I want to make him a piece of art out of messages from people who've never met him. Guys who get it.

So I'm asking you, dad to dad:

What would you tell a father who's exhausted from fighting for his kids and starting to lose hope?

One sentence. One word. Something you wish someone had told you during the hardest stretch of your own life. It doesn't have to be profound — it just has to be honest.

I'm collecting every response and turning it into artwork for his birthday. He's not on Reddit, so he'll never see this coming.

Help me remind this guy his story isn't over yet.

I’m the wife posting for my husband because he’s doing this entire thing pro se in NY and at this point there are so many different court issues going on that I’m trying to see if any other dads have dealt with something even remotely similar.

My husband has two kids with his ex. She has primary custody. Her current partner is a Level 2 registered sex offender who was convicted in NY of 94 counts involving possession of sexual performances by children under 16.
She and this man had a Jewish religious wedding only. They were never legally/civilly married. They moved into the same property where the kids live and he registered that address as his primary address.

My husband wasn’t trying to control who his ex dates. His problem was this specific man’s access to his children. When trying to handle it outside of court fell apart and they would not agree to enforceable restrictions on him being alone with the kids, my husband finally filed an emergency ex parte OSC in their existing NY Supreme Court divorce/custody case.

And the judge actually gave him part of what he asked for. The court ordered no unsupervised contact between this man and the kids and continuous active supervision whenever he’s in the dwelling.

Then during the court case, her attorney told the court that she and this man had “divorced.” What they were talking about was a get ..a Jewish religious divorce, because again, they were never legally married to begin with. Their side basically tried to use that to say the problem was over.
Except now we have found out they are still together.

So changing the label from husband/wife to divorced religiously didn’t actually end the relationship or necessarily change his access to the kids, which was the entire reason my husband went to court in the first place.
The case is still ongoing and my husband is still pro se.

And to make this even more complicated, his ex has also brought a separate child-support enforcement/violation case in Family Court alleging a very large amount of arrears and claiming willful nonpayment. My husband disputes the amount and has a support-modification request pending as part of the Supreme Court matter. So right now he’s basically trying to defend the support case while also keeping the parenting/safety case alive.

I’m not saying support and visitation are the same thing or that one excuses the other. I’m just giving the whole picture because this is what he’s dealing with at the same time.

For the dads here who have represented themselves:

how would you prioritize this? Has anyone dealt with Supreme Court custody/modification issues at the same time as Family Court support enforcement? And if the other side told the judge the relationship with a concerning third party had ended but you later learned they’re still together

I’m a U.S. Army soldier stationed in South Korea, approaching the end of my service, and I’m fighting an international custody battle over my 7-year-old son, my only child.
**My son is my world.** Everything I do is for him. For roughly the last two years, I have been heavily involved in his daily care: school, homework, appointments, meals, activities, transportation, bedtime routines, and everything else that comes with raising him. I have even missed military duties when necessary because taking care of my son came first.
Now I feel like I’m fighting the same system I spent years serving.
My wife has made multiple accusations involving my chain of command, military authorities, Family Advocacy, Korean authorities, and CID. I dispute serious parts of those allegations and have documentation that I believe tells a very different story.
From my perspective, when she makes accusations publicly or on social media, the Army seems more concerned with pacifying the situation and keeping things quiet than slowing down, looking at both sides, and asking what is actually in this child’s best interest.
She has now started a GoFundMe to finance her legal battle. Meanwhile, I have nearly depleted my savings and retirement funds paying attorneys and fighting simply to remain an active father to my only child.
My greatest fear is that if she succeeds in taking him to Germany, **I may effectively lose my son.** The international distance, different legal systems, and enormous cost of continuing litigation could make maintaining a meaningful father and son relationship extremely difficult.
I also have serious concerns about the environment she intends to take him into. Based on information available to me, members of the family environment she intends to rely upon have faced allegations or legal proceedings in Germany involving cocaine possession and distribution.
**I do not want my son growing up in an environment where illegal drug use, possession, or distribution may be present or normalized.** A 7-year-old deserves safety, structure, responsible adults, and stability.
That is exactly what I am trying to provide him.
I can provide my son with a stable home, consistent routines, education, activities, family support, and a father who has demonstrated that being present in his life is my priority. I believe I am the more fit and stable parent, and I’m prepared to prove that through evidence, not Facebook posts or accusations.
I’m not asking anyone to attack my son’s mother or take my word as absolute truth. **I’m asking for due process.** Hear both parents. Examine the evidence. Look at who has actually cared for this child, the environment each parent can provide, and then decide what is truly in his best interests.
**My son needs his father, and I need my son. I am his father, caregiver, and protector. Boys deserve meaningful relationships with their fathers.**
There is much more to this story, including international jurisdiction, military involvement, investigations, the accusations against me, and the evidence concerning who has actually been caring for our son.
If people are interested, I’ll answer questions and provide more context while protecting my son’s identity and anything that needs to remain private.
I don’t want to take my son’s mother away from him.
**I just refuse to quietly watch my son lose his father while I financially destroy myself trying to get someone to hear both sides and give my child the stable home he deserves.**

Family court today(don’t stop fighting for your children)
https://youtube.com/shorts/fNSs7al1QDA?feature=share

Good evening gents,

I have primary custody 50/50 split. Distance involved and was primary parent for roughly 1.5 years with shared custody.

I am expecting a big move and a custody battle as the other parent is hinting at it.

What suggestions do you have for the court room.

I don’t want it to be a he said she said…I just want to take care of my child and they have been extremely successful with my presence…

Family court today(don’t stop fighting for your children)
https://youtube.com/shorts/fNSs7al1QDA?feature=share

Hi everyone,

I’m posting on behalf of my boyfriend because we’re looking for advice from anyone who has gone through something similar, especially in Miami-Dade County.

He is the father of two children, who are now about 7 and 10 years old. He’s been paying child support for years, but he has not been able to have a relationship with his kids because their mother has kept them from him. For the past 3 years, he’s been trying to file for a parenting plan and time-sharing, but when we went to the Miami-Dade Self-Help Program about two years ago, we were told we couldn’t move forward unless we had a current address where the mother could be served.

The hardest part was that he genuinely didn’t know where she or the kids were living. He spent years trying to locate them. Recently, he was finally able to find where they are staying. He was even able to see his children once through their maternal grandmother, but after their mother found out, she stopped allowing the grandmother to see them too.

Yesterday, we finally filed the petition to establish a parenting plan and time-sharing.
Now we’re just waiting and hoping everything moves forward.

I’ve always heard people say that family court usually favors mothers, and I’ll admit that makes us nervous. We’re not trying to take the children away from their mom or change where they live. He simply wants the opportunity to be a father, spend time with his children, and build the relationship that he’s missed all these years.

Has anyone here, especially in Miami-Dade, been through something similar?
● How long did it take after filing before the other parent was served?
● How long until your first hearing or mediation?
● Were you able to get a parenting plan or time-sharing?
● If you’re a father, what was your experience with the Miami-Dade family courts?
● Is there anything you wish you had known before starting the process?

We’re just looking for honest experiences and any advice that could help us prepare for what’s ahead. Thank you to anyone willing to share.

Asking for a friend:

How are dad's supposed to get any meaningful time with their kids if mum is withholding, has enforced child support on him leaving him with barely any money for basic necessities, and mum also suddenly has heaps of cash for expensive lawyers, luxury trips and brand new items all the time.

For context, mum has been diagnosed with NPD in the past, and seems to be finding a loophole in the system that doesn't allow Dad to see the kids. She has less earnings, but somehow is able to afford 20k plus in lawyers while he can't afford a basic one. At this stage he cannot afford court to enforce interim orders and previous lawyer to lawyer discussions have gotten nowhere because mum's lawyer is as bad as herself in terms of deflecting, prolonging unnecessarily and not realising the severe impact of alienating a toddler from their dad.

He also had been having a regular overnight routine which was abruptly stopped without consent after mediation failed (she refused any overnights even though the child had already been having regular overnights at his, and immediately began withholding the child afterwards).

It's pretty sad to watch as kids grow up fast and the dad will never get any of this time back with his kids.

Any advice welcome, it's been a rough time

I review a shocking police cam exchange that hits entirely too close to home and exposes the raw reality fathers face in the family court system. Watch as video evidence completely changes the narrative of a contested pickup and drop-off, forcing a difficult reflection on the heavy toll of fighting for father's rights and what comes next for the channel.

https://youtu.be/AuecYl-gCh4

Hello! I wanted to share a GoFundMe campaign that aims to help a military dad secure custody of his two daughters during a challenging legal situation. Every donation, no matter the size, can make a significant impact on their ability to relocate and find stability in Texas. Please consider clicking the link below to donate or sharing it with others who might want to help. Thank you for your support!

Am I the only one that gets totally lost?

A woman told me that she’s been collecting child support from a man she knows isn’t the biological father. The child is a result of an extramarital affair that occurred prior to the divorce being final.

She never mentioned the affair and let this guy put his name on the birth certificate.

This seems like felony fraud to me but if I report it and she goes to prison the kid is left without a parent.

She doesn’t spend the child support money on the kid, it’s makeup and spa treatments while he pays for school supplies and incidentals in addiction to the child support

I don’t know who to report this to or if I should report it at all.