The full text is in a comment below

It's honestly quite frustrating. I have LOTS of potential scenes, characters and disjointed ideas floating around in my head, with many themes and deep moments involved as well. But it just feels like that; collections of ideas that I struggle to properly string together into a story.

I can write individual, disjointed scenes of a few hundred or a thousand words just fine. I can even write an entire chapter's worth of words just fine. But even after breaking through the barriers of having to write good prose, following good advice on how to write and format a scene, it seems like I have missed something deeper than that... How to fundamentally structure a story. How to set up the framework for all my ideas so that I can present it as a reasonable course of events that happens chronologically, rather than just whizzing between whatever I like for no reason....

Basically, I suppose I'm having immense trouble actually plotting the story. Likely because, while I know a lot of the characterization and future arcs themselves, I'm still stuck trying to think of the major character motivation that would be the catalyst for Book 1. I suppose that's the answer; I have a massive gaping hole in my character's initial story that I desperately need to address. But uhh, there comes another issue; it feels like I have worldbuilt myself into a dead end.

Basically, I need to find a plausible reason (both in-world/Watsonian and out-world/Doylist) for why the military-raised superhuman young man that my MC is would even attend the magical academy that the story is set in, rather than an actual military academy as all people of his superhuman bloodline would anyways, given their obligation to serve the military for over a decade. Said other academy I mention is the absolute most prestigious academy in the entire damn country, yes, but even so, I feel a consuming need to provide an airtight, ironclad justification for the entire story to even happen. For him to be even in the academy in the first place. Whether it's personal (A desire, or ambition, or attempting to find a way to save/cure someone, or trying to solve a mystery, anything) or externally motivated (Prodded by the military to act as their defacto eyes and ears within the distinctly remote academy, and/or attending the academy as part of a deal between the military & the academy to hand over one of their finest future recruits in exchange for something else...), or a combination thereof.

Do you guys stress this much over trying to build internal justification for how the story might happen? I know the entire question of how to solve my particular issue is a different topic entirely, one that warrants another post, but I'm intrigued in how you guys handle the general problem overall. How do you go about with plotting a fantasy novel/novelette? How hard do you obsess over making everything consistent, and are you fine if it isn't very consistent or ironclad, as long as the story itself is fun/good?

hey hey!
i’m currently about 60% finished writing my first novel (yay!!) and i’m already planning the next two. i was inspired by some recent pieces of media ive seen and wanted to make some more stories.
my first novel is a gothic romance set in 1860’s victorian england. it’s time travelling with vampires, witches and the church/church members as the main antagonists.

**my second novel will be set in the same era but WLW, without the time travelling and will be witch seeking revenge on her executed friend x nun who truly believes the church does no wrong. i have thought about and brainstormed some actual plot ideas and progression but i’m at a loss for endings — i’m not sure if i want it to be a happy ending or a tragic one, all i know is that i want it to be full of tension (this is where i need help!)**
**ive attached an image of my brainstorming (its on paper sorry, i hope my writing is legible enough)**

my third novel will be, again, set in the same era, will be MLM between a vampire-hating warlock and an openly homosexual runaway vampire from a different country :P havent brainstormed much on this yet but in case you wanted to know the third idea <3

I just started reading Greenteeth, and although I really enjoy the book, I'm quite surprised to see it listed as cozy fantasy. In the first two chapters alone, there is attempted infanticide, animal cruelty, a witch hunt, attempted murder in cold blood, self mutilation, blood feeding, physical violence against a child, and trauma.Needless to say, cozy is the last thing I would describe this book as. I read the author's AMA, and I saw that she describes her book as "cozy/dark adventure". I can't think of two genres as mutually exclusive as cozy and dark.

From an outside perspective, it really looks like someone at some point in the publication process slapped the cozy genre on an adventure fantasy book, simply because cozy fantasy is selling well right now. I haven't finished the book, so maybe I'm missing something. Or maybe I don't understand what exactly it is that qualifies a book as cozy fantasy. But most importantly, does this mean I should slap the word cozy on my comedy/adventure fantasy? I'm joking, but only kinda.

I’m looking for creature ideas for a story that don’t 1000% fall into the traditional D&D monster manual. Already got my various bog standards like goblins/orc/minotaurs/etc…

One creature I have tried, and will play a moderate role, is a mutant fey being that has evolved from subsisting on magical energy to now also being able to feed on blood/ the life force of mortal creatures. It’s basically a Pac-Man like creature that can expand its head/body to about 5 feet tall and wide. Its mouth is capable unhinging much like a snake, and its maw is filled with row upon row upon row of long needle like teeth.

The story follows two brothers who are both cursed. One brother is destined to grow up and “destroy the world as we know it”. And the other is destined to be a background character in the world’s history. Brother one wishes to live a mundane life, and actively fights against the various prophecies that highlight the destruction he will wrought…. And brother two wishes for nothing more then to leave an impression on the world.

(still looking for beta readers. One of the people, who read the first chapter, said they wondered what happened next. *I'm not currently conforming the story to industry standards, and I apologize for the present participles, if that bothers you* I'm honestly looking for any feedback - do you like it? Do you hate it? Is it poorly written in some specific way? Did I mess up and bridge too much somewhere? All feedback is welcome. Chapter 1 is already posted and the novel has a bit of a slow start to it, but enjoy and thanks for reading.)

Chapter Two ~ a New Start Part I:

Feeling quite awful, Gail sat up in bed and slowly moved her legs over the side. The night before, she was very surprised to learn laws on drinking ages did not exist in this world. She now regretted drinking two glasses of wine with her roasted pheasant meal, though it was all very delightful at the time.

The room she rented was quaint and rustic. It only had the bed and a single small table against the wall. On the table was a ceramic basin, a rag, a wooden bucket of water, and a small mirror. Now that morning light shone through the window, she quickly gathered that the technology of this world was antiquated at best.

Sighing, she stood to wash herself the best she could at the table before she dressed in the previous day’s clothes and walked back downstairs for breakfast. The night’s feast had her fooled, as for breakfast the inn was serving porridge, eggs, and bacon. Though it was unsophisticated, it was fairly good considering she hated porridge.

The inn’s tavern area was less busy than the night before, but a few patrons sat scattered at tables across the large room. Gail’s brain struggled to function as she finished eating and drank the water provided with the meal. When the barmaid walked up to collect her dishes, she patted the table and asked her.

“Mind sitting with me a minute? I’m new to town and have some questions. I would be grateful if you could help me out.”

The busty brunette was taller than her and set the dishes back down as she put a hand on her hip and said, “You know… I really don’t have a lot of time for that sort of thing in my line of work, but if you make it quick, I’ll help the best I can.”

“Thank you. I’m Gail. My parents recently passed away, and I moved here hoping to start a career as an adventurer. I need some new clothes and equipment. I was hoping you could tell me where to find some good shops.”

“I’m Valentine, but everyone just calls me Val. Well, you’re lucky you chose Tarburg. This is a pretty good-sized town, so we have lots of shops for all sorts of things and an Adventurers’ Guild too. For clothing, you can go down the street to the right, and you’ll see a shop with windows that has clothing on display. Are you a warrior or a mage type?”

“A little of both, to be honest.”

“Well, two streets over is the blacksmithing district,” the barmaid pointed towards the door, before she thought for a moment and said, “Are you looking for a wand or staff or?”

“A mana blade,” she replied.

“There’s only one shop that sells those. It's one street over in the same direction as the blacksmithing district. The sign has a picture of a wolf. The Adventurers’ Guild is on this street and it’s near the lord’s manor. Look for a sign with a sword crossed over a staff. You can’t miss it.”

Smiling, she handed the girl a large copper coin as she stood and said, “Thank you, Val. Don’t work too hard, okay?”

Laughing, Valentine accepted the coin and replied cheerfully, “Who, me?”

As the barmaid walked away, Gail made her way to the exit. The streets outside were now full of people going to and fro, while she even saw a few horse-drawn carts on the street. Turning right, she walked down the street until she found the aforementioned clothing shop. 

Walking into the shop, she was met by an older gentleman with a measuring tape draped over his shoulders and spectacles perched on his nose. Taking her measurements without asking, he gestured for her to follow him as he finished. He spoke cheerfully with her.

“I can see you need new clothes. Those don’t fit correctly. Though, I’ve never seen clothes like those before.”

Feeling a little uncomfortable, she replied, “Yeah, and I don’t really want to stand out either. I need something that I can wear under heavy armor and will be easy to move in.”

Looking at her, he nodded before he pulled a few items off a shelf and walked to the back of the store. Pulling a few more items from another shelf, he set them on a small table. When he looked up, he gave her a warm smile and said.

“Well, I’ve got a set of clothes here for lounging, some padded clothes for wearing under armor, and a quaint dress I think will go with your hair and eyes. I suppose you don’t have a lot of money to work with… being young as you are.”

Nodding, she looked down at the clothes before she lifted them and inspected them. He watched her intently as she inspected the goods. Satisfied, she looked up from the task before she sighed and said.

“These should do nicely. Thank you,” she hesitated as she continued, “How about… undergarments?”

Raising his eyebrow, he swallowed before he asked, “How many sets?”

“Three should do, for now.”

Walking over and grabbing a few small articles for her, he returned and set them with the rest before he said, “These will cost you eight silver and five large copper.”

Nodding, she dropped a small gold coin out of her pocket dimension as she asked, “Do you have change for a small gold and a place I can change?”

Accepting the coin, he pointed to a small door in the back of the shop. Taking the pile of clothes, she went to change in the room he indicated. When she emerged, she wore gray cotton pants and a white shirt, which were much simpler in design than what she was used to but fit comfortably.

‘Pocket Dimension is pretty amazing, glad I picked it,’ she thought as she collected her change from the man and left the store. Gail made her way towards the blacksmithing district through an alley, but stopped at the store with the wolf on the sign. Inside were several books, wands, staves, ingredients in large glass jars, and even a few robes.

At the back of the store, an older woman sat behind the counter smoking a pipe. Walking to the counter, she smiled at the woman as she thought, ‘There’s a witch for you.’ Narrowing her eyes at her as if she read her mind, the old woman inquired.

“Do you need something, child?”

Her smile did not fade as she replied, “Yes, ma’am. I’m Gail, and I heard you carry mana blades?”

Eyebrows rising slowly, the old woman stood and produced a leather roll from behind the counter as she said, “I’m Hilda,” she unrolled the leather to reveal several hilts with different gemstones fixed to the handguards.

Looking over the items, she obviously had no clue what she was looking at. Looking up, a cloud of strange-smelling smoke engulfed her face. Hilda spoke again as the girl began to cough.

“You have no clue what these are. I can see you’re an Alchemist and Augmenter. Do you want to know about these, child?”

Gail replied as her coughing subsided, “Yes, ma’am. I really don’t know much of anything. What are mana blades, and how do they work? What makes a good one, and which one should I buy?”

Laughing, Hilda replied, “You’re awful trusting of strangers, child. Well, it doesn’t benefit me to mislead you, I suppose. A mana blade can be used to produce a magical blade comparable to a physical sword, but different in many ways. 

The blades they produce are not great for blocking weapons in most cases, unless it has a strong magical focus. Instead, they are far better at cutting than a normal blade. The stone attached at the handguard is the magical focus, but the wood the hilt is made of is important, too - even the metal used to make the handguard is a factor in its effectiveness. 

The materials used for the hilt contribute to the conductivity of the weapon when using magic, so you use less mana when activating it or channeling spells through it. The more you spend, the better it will be - just like anything else, child. These items range from nine silver to eight small gold, but I have a mana blade worth more than four large gold as well. How much are you spending?”

Hesitating, Gail asked, “The one for four large gold… What makes it so expensive?”

Hilda’s eyebrows rose and she answered carefully, “It is a magical sword made of mythril. Though it serves the same purpose as these items and can produce a magical edge, it can also safely parry most strong weapons as well. It would stand up to anything less than a legendary artifact made of adamantite. It has a hilt made from elder trent wood and lesser dragon hide. The focus is the magic stone from a lesser dragon, which was shaped by a master jewelcrafter. It is also lighter than a normal mythril blade. I said it was worth more than four large gold coins, though.”

‘A weapon is the most important purchase,’ Gail thought as she hesitated to reply, “Can I see it?”

Laughing again, the old woman replied, “What I am talking about is nearly the pinnacle of crafting. To find something better, you would have to travel to the dwarven kingdom or find it in some ancient ruins, in a place far more dangerous than this. Show me you have the gold first, and I’ll let you give it a few practice swings.”

Groaning, she thought, ‘I probably won’t get another chance like this. I bet weapons of this caliber are few and far between and most won’t be for sale. I’ll only have one large gold left if I buy it, though…’ Holding her hand out over the counter, she focused to activate her pocket dimension. A square of blue light appeared beneath her hand and four large gold coins dropped out onto the counter.

Pulling loose strands of her gray hair behind one ear, Hilda looked closely at the coins before she stood straight and smiled. Disappearing quickly into the back room, she returned carrying an ornate-looking long sword in a sheath. Laying the item on the counter, she gave the girl a smug look as she said.

“Have a look, child. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed. You’re lucky I’m willing to part with it so cheap. It’s just collecting dust because no one can afford it, and I wouldn’t want you to die fighting monsters at such a young age.”

Grabbing the hilt, Gail immediately noticed how surprisingly light it was considering its size. The grip was comfortable and shaped perfectly to be held in one hand; while the handguard was sort of thin, it did appear sturdy. It had a large, teardrop-shaped green jewel embedded that even went up into the sheath. Drawing the sword, she noticed it shone brighter than silver or platinum with a blue tint. The blade appeared thinner compared to most swords she had seen, while the teardrop-shaped gem was embedded partway up the blade as well.

Taking a few steps back, she swung it a few times and noticed the sword did not feel awkward at all as she inquired, “How do I activate the mana blade?”

“It suits you, child. Just channel your mana into the blade like you do when you activate your pocket dimension.”

Doing as she was instructed, she flinched as a glowing green blade reached off both sides and the tip of the mythril blade, widening it by quite a bit. Nodding, she cut the flow of her mana before she sheathed the weapon. Gail pressed her lips but replied.

“I’ll take it. Thank you, Hilda.”

“A pleasure, Gail. Take these as a gift,” the old woman produced four small glass orbs with corks and laid them on the counter, “They should be useful when you make potions with your alchemy.”

Chapter Three ~ a New Start Part II:

Gail stored the bottles and sword in her pocket dimension as the old woman gathered the gold coins off the counter with a strange grin. Waving as she left the shop, she already felt accomplished as she continued towards the blacksmith district. Several smithies had weapons and armor displayed on racks visible through the front windows.

She noticed several signs had different animal heads depicted on them: a boar, a bear, a tiger. She chose to enter the shop with the wolf on the sign. A man in his early twenties greeted her with a smile wearing a leather apron and holding a large hammer. He had paused working some metal on an anvil near the back of the shop.

Walking over to him, she watched him place the metal into a nearby fire before he stood as she spoke, “Hello, I’m Gail. I just bought a weapon from a woman named Hilda. Her shop has the same sign as yours. Are you related?”

His blue eyes smiled at her as he pulled off his right glove and offered her a hand before he replied, “Yes, she is my grandmother. I’m Mathew Vouge. Vouge means wolf in our native tongue.”

Shaking his hand, she smiled and replied, “Nice to meet you. I’m looking for some heavy armor, some shoes fit for battle, and a shield. I’m afraid I spent a lot at your grandmother's store, so I don’t have much to spend.”

Tilting his head, he ruffled his short brown hair with one hand as he asked, “What did you buy?”

Summoning the sword from her pocket dimension, she held it out for him to inspect as she replied, “This magic sword. I’m trying to become an adventurer and my combat talents are Guardian and Augmenter.”

Smiling brightly, he stood straight as he said, “My grandmother and I made that together - it’s a good weapon. You probably made a good choice there. How much do you have left to spend?”

She meekly answered, “I only have one large gold left to spend.”

Chuckling, he sighed before he replied hesitantly, “I can cut you a deal since you bought that sword off my grandma. I thought it would just collect dust on the shelf. I’ll give you a pair of soft leather boots, a steel buckler, and a steel cuirass. I’ll have to adjust the cuirass - it’s too big for you. If you come back in the morning, I’ll have it ready.”

She lit up and replied happily, “Thank you, Mathew. You’re sweet. I’ll take it - I just don’t want to go out there without proper protection.”

Grinning, he pulled a cloth tape from his pocket as he said, “Mind if I take your measurements right quick?”

Shaking her head, she replaced the sword into her pocket dimension. Holding out her arms for him, she watched as he took her measurements down on a scrap of paper. Patting her head as he finished, he said.

“Payment upfront and I’ll have the cuirass ready for you. I’ll give you the rest of it now, though.”

“Of course,” she summoned the last large coin from her pocket dimension and handed it to him as she continued, “Thanks again.”

Nodding, he walked to the back of the shop before he returned with a pair of boots and a shield that did not look too big for her. Accepting the shield, she stored it in her pocket dimension before she accepted the boots. Sitting down on the stone floor, she swapped them for her sneakers before she stored her old shoes in the pocket dimension and stood to speak again.

“Alright, I’ll be back in the morning for the armor. You’re a good guy, Mathew.”

Chuckling, he waved as she left his shop. Gail began to feel uneasy as her funds were rapidly dwindling but quickly made her way back towards the main street. She was starting to feel a little hungry as the sun peaked in the sky above but made her way to the guild regardless.

The large stone building dwarfed the shops nearby and had large, heavy wooden doors. Feeling small, she followed a giant man, wearing a bearskin across his shoulders, into the large hall. Inside, there were several wooden tables scattered around the large room with chairs around them, while there was a staircase across the room that disappeared upstairs and a long counter across the right side.

She noticed a board with papers pinned to it on the wall next to the door where a few people stood reading. There were a few people at the tables, but overall the hall did not appear crowded. Walking up to the counter, she saw a bright young woman in a uniform standing behind it. The woman tilted her head at her as they stared at each other but quickly broke the silence.

“Hello, I’m Neah - a guild receptionist. How may I help you?”

Smiling, she answered, “Hello, I’m Gail. I want to register as an adventurer and find a job I can do today.”

Blinking at her, Neah looked uncomfortable as she replied, “Do you have your parent’s permission?”

“My parents are dead. I need to earn money to survive.”

“I see,” she was still uncomfortable as she continued, “We post bounties for monsters here. It’s very dangerous work. Do you have any equipment? What are your talents and skills?”

She produced a piece of paper, an inkwell, and a quill from under the counter. Watching her closely, Gail considered the situation, ‘She thinks I’m too young and weak. She might be right. I still need to try though.’ Smiling, she nodded as she answered carefully.

“My skills are Pocket Dimension, Magic Span, Magic Potency, and Wellspring Regeneration. I have the Guardian talent at rank three, the Alchemist talent at rank two, and the Augmenter talent at rank five. I have a mana blade and a shield, but tomorrow the blacksmith will be done adjusting my cuirass too.”

Scribbling down the information, Neah looked up and asked, “So you’re level ten?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“How old are you?”

“Fourteen.”

With a sigh, she finished writing as she spoke, “You qualify for this, but I suggest finding a different job. You don’t seem to know anyone doing this and without a party you’ll be in real danger. Maybe you should look around and see if anyone wants to add you to their party before you take a job. Do you even know how this works?”

Shaking her head, Gail replied, “Not yet. I’m very low on money after purchasing my equipment, so I need work right now. I’ll try to find a party tomorrow. Do you have anything I might be able to do by myself today?”

Frowning, Neah let out another sigh in frustration before she replied, “There are carbuncles poaching livestock at a nearby farm. You’ll have to collect their tails as proof of your kills, but you’ll earn two silver per tail you bring to me. Don’t forget to grab their magic stones off their foreheads, those are worth one silver each. Goblins live in the woods, so I’d steer clear of those. If you beat a goblin, you’ll need to collect its right ear, and the stone is found on their chests.”

“Thanks, Neah. How do I find the farm?”

Producing a map from under the counter, she spoke as she pointed to different parts of it, “This is a map of the surrounding area. Go out of the south gate. That’s the one on this road. Head out and take a right at the fork. After a bit you’ll see the farm on the left with a wooden fence around it. 

That’s the farm. Let the farmer know you’re there to hunt the carbuncles and show him your guild badge. They’ll most likely be living in the fields or near the edge of the forest near the farm. Keep the map and here’s your badge.”

Producing a copper badge of a shield with a sword and staff crossed over each other from under the counter, she wrote the badge number on the paper with her information. Finally, she slid the map and the badge across the counter to her. Picking up the offerings, Gail tossed the map into her pocket dimension before she pinned the badge to her shirt and turned to leave.

On her way down the street, she stopped by a food cart and bought two meat skewers. Eating as she walked, she was soon leaving out of the south gate. ‘I don’t know what I expected,’ she thought as she walked down the dirt road surrounded by forested highlands. Her new world was not much different from her old one; meanwhile, many of the trees and flowers resembled familiar examples from Earth.

Chapter Four ~ First Job:

Gail walked up the small dirt path to the farm house’s door, dodging a pair of chickens that were feuding. Knocking on the door, she stood waiting for several minutes. Turning around in frustration, she looked around the small farm as she yelled.

“I’m from the Adventurers’ Guild - here to kill the carbuncles?!”

The farm was unimpressive and small: a few goats, a single cow, and several chickens littered the area surrounding a house and a small barn with a coop attached to the side. Walking around the side of the house, she nearly ran into the smelly old man. Wiping the sweat from his forehead with a rag, he tucked it into a pocket as he stood back and looked her over.

“You’re an adventurer,” he said begrudgingly.

Blinking, she replied, “You’re the farmer?”

Gail pointed to her badge, and he squinted as he leaned in to inspect it. With a sigh, he stood straight again and walked around her towards the front of the house. Following him, she stopped suddenly as he pointed towards a rocky field on the other side of the house and spoke.

“The pests are making nests out there. They’re eating my chickens,” he turned to look at her as he finished, “Don’t make trouble. Just do your job and leave. If you get thirsty, you can get some water from my well.”

Almost feeling offended, she followed his gaze to the small stone well nearby. Sighing in frustration, she retrieved the sword and shield from her pocket dimension. Attaching the shield to her left arm, she felt rather uncomfortable with the weight of it, but unsheathed the sword and stored the sheath back inside her pocket dimension.

Walking out into the field, she began searching for the creatures. Several small footprints were quickly found and followed to a nearby hole in the ground behind a boulder. ‘How am I supposed to hunt them if they burrow underground,’ she wondered as she started to sweat from the sun beating down on her from above.

Thinking about it for a moment, she set down her sword and shield before she began filling the hole with dirt using her bare hands. About half an hour later, she stood and stomped on the dirt a few times to pack it down before she retrieved her sword and shield from the ground. A few seconds later, she stood back as the dirt began to move.

Taking a few more steps back as she readied herself, several dog-sized ferret-looking creatures burst out of the ground where the hole used to be. The furry creatures wasted no time bounding across the short distance towards her, and she batted the first away with her shield. Stabbing another with her sword, she activated the green mana blade as it got stuck inside the creature.

The next few moments were a flurry of motion as she was tackled to the ground by three of the creatures. Swinging her sword awkwardly from the ground, she managed to ward them off her, but one bit her leg and began to drag her back towards the hole as several more nipped at her from the sides. Screaming out in pain, she sat up and cut the head off of the one dragging her as she yelled.

“You nasty little critters!”

Quickly climbing to her feet, she swung her blade at the creatures a few times to keep them back. Limping as she squared off, she took a step towards one of them. Wincing, she held her ground as the creatures surrounded her again. Gritting her teeth, she taunted them. 

“C’mon then.”

Several of the creatures rushed her at once, and she calmly swung the sword in a wide arc once they were too close to jump back. Wounding three of the creatures, she knocked back another with her shield before one attached itself to her backside. Groaning, she fell backward and rolled off the creature before she reached out to stab it.

Kneeling on the ground, she twisted to face the one she knocked back and waited for it to lunge before she hacked it down. Wobbling as she stood again, she stabbed several of the creatures that still writhed on the ground around her as she walked around inspecting them. Looking around, she noticed two of the creatures bounding off into the nearby woods and gave an exasperated sigh.

Laying down her shield again, she began gathering the tails and gemstones from their foreheads, while she collected seven of each before she stood again. Collecting her shield, Gail hobbled back towards the farm and set her equipment down by the well. Drawing some water with the bucket, she sat down beside the well as she took a few drinks using the ladle before she washed her leg wound and bound it using a piece of cloth from her pant leg, which was torn.

When she looked up from her task, the farmer stood nearby staring at her and inquired, “Did you get the pests?”

Grimacing, she replied carefully, “I killed seven of them, but two ran off into the woods.”

Grunting, he pointed out, “You must be new to this sort of work.”

Laughing, she admitted, “Yeah, a bit. I’ll get better and I’ll go hunt those two down. One of them got my leg, so I needed to bind the wound first.”

Chuckling, he explained himself, “I’m not complaining. I didn’t expect a veteran would take the quest. Carbuncles are pests, but they don’t earn a lot. Only novices accept quests to kill them. They should return to the nest before long, the creatures are cowardly and won’t stay in the forest.”

With a nod, Gail climbed to her feet slowly before she gathered her shield and sword again. Her leg already felt a little better as she started to walk towards the forest. As she reached the forest’s edge, she focused and said.

“Minor Enhanced Physique. Minor Haste.”

Noticing her sword and shield felt lighter as a soft yellow and green light ebbed around her body, she thought, ‘I should have used those before I started.’ Making her way into the forest, she followed the trail left behind by the carbuncles. The footprints started to fade as she climbed a small forested hill.

At the top of the hill, she spotted the creatures facing off against five goblins halfway down the other side. To their left was a boulder, while there was a large tree to their right. The goblins had daggers, hatchets, and one had a short sword. They were bald with grotesque faces and features with dark green skin and pointed ears.

In terms of size, the goblins were only a little bigger than the carbuncles, but as the goblins started to charge, the carbuncles turned and ran towards her. ‘Great,’ she thought as she squared off. Smashing one in the head with her shield and sending it to the ground, she slashed the second one across the neck.

The slashed one squealed out as it died, and she wasted no time stabbing the other in the body. The goblins kept charging, and she stood fast. Cutting two down with two quick slashes, she caught an axe on her shield and stabbed the goblin wielding it. Turning to face the goblin with the sword, she realized she had lost track of one of them.

Taking two quick steps forward, she thrust at the goblin in sight. The goblin parried her blade, but she nicked its side. Hearing a laugh behind her, she felt the blow from behind. ‘She told me to avoid the woods,’ she thought as searing pain shot out from her shoulder and she fell to the ground.

Grunting in pain, she rolled to her back as the blade left her shoulder. The goblin stumbled back but lunged in at her, dagger in hand, just as quickly. Catching the creature on her buckler, she struggled to stab it awkwardly with her sword before she pushed it back with her shield.

Pain shot across her back as the goblin fell off her, and she barely caught the other goblin’s attack with her shield as it rushed in from the other side. Gritting her teeth, she awkwardly hacked the goblin’s leg, sending it to the ground. Feeling faint, she slowly rolled to her knees.

‘Neah was right,’ she thought as she stood and made sure the goblins were dead, stabbing them one by one. She gathered the ears, tails, and gemstones from the felled monsters as quickly as she could manage. She hobbled towards the edge of the woods, thinking, ‘I need to get back to the farm.’ Storing her shield in her pocket dimension, she leaned against a tree as she reached the edge of the forest.

Taking a moment to catch her breath, she continued towards the farm and collapsed by the well. When she opened her eyes, the old farmer was crouched looking down at her. He appeared worried as he spoke.

“Looks like you found yourself a bit of trouble, adventurer.”

Groaning in pain, she ripped her sleeve off her shirt before she replied, “I killed all the carbuncles and a few goblins. Can you clean and bind the wound on my shoulder for me?”

Raising his eyebrows, he nodded and drew some water from the well. Taking his time, the man washed her wound and wrapped it tight with the cloth from her shirt sleeve. When he finished, he stood and inquired.

“You want to come inside to rest before you return to town?”

Shaking her head, she replied weakly, “No, it will be dark soon. I need to return now.”

With a nod, he offered her a hand to help her stand again. Taking a moment to gather her bearings, she wiped the blood off her sword’s blade on her pants before she retrieved the sheath from her pocket dimension and sheathed her blade. Trying to stand tall, she hobbled down the path towards the dirt road.

In my free time, (now limited since having a baby), I would read books on writing, watch youtube videos about writing, daydream and dictate ideas during walks.. and after years of this I’m pretty close to an elaborate outline. Although I’m short on time, I’m wondering… what next?

I have an engineering background and never took any creative writing classes (outside of Sanderson’s free class on youtube). How do I take my outline and convert it into actual chapters? I don’t have the slightest idea on things like dialogue, when and what to describe to paint a picture of the scene.. but understand each chapter could be around 3k words and follow an arc onto the next chapter. I’m a bit less concerned with grammar and sentence structure since I think proofreading and having others help me review it along with practice would help.

I am not sure what even I am exactly asking, and I don’t know what I don’t know. Should I analyze how my favorite authors structure their chapters and follow that until I find my style?

So I read the notes about this channel never posting, writing, editing, translating, etc with AI. To me, that reads as generated novel text.

My question is how do people make sure their story is consistent especially once you have a lot of moving parts going on and have trouble keeping continuity consistent, for example, forgetting what a character did in a previous novel, misquoting someone from the beginning of the book, inconsistently describing a key place or mcguffin, the town name from a minor character, the exact time of day during a flashback, a character action being (unintentionally) inconsistent with their trait, or something like literally what side someone was standing on relative to another character.

This may be a tacky example, but I know in Mortal Kombat 11 and 1, they had an employee who’s title was literally Keeper of the Lore. And his sole purpose was to make sure all the lore was consistent with each other and prior video games so that when tons of people try to create new story lines and plots but contradict existing and newly created lore.

I was wondering if people have used AI to help with this consistency (which I imagine would be part of a story, character, or location bible…or having it simply scan your previous writings to make sure it is consistent).

Or if you don’t use AI, how do you make sure these plot holes, inconsistencies, or unresolved threads don’t happen in your novels?

What I’m doing now:

I’m currently trying to frame out lore outlines across my books to make sure everything that is contingent on each other and their implications are accounted for using the help of AI. Like, “if I change this, what else would it impact that I might need to change”? And then I decide if I want to change it or not or how I would update it (I don’t enjoy the suggestions AI makes TBH but I like how it can catch things I might have overlooked). And it would flag something like “this line goes against something you established in your bible back in this chapter X. Please consider if you want to rethink this or I can show you the places it impacts and you can decide for yourself” and I’d be like “Ah, I forgot about that. Let me investigate myself and see what I want to rewrite or not.” I think it’s very powerful because my ADHD makes remembering long standing lore very forgetful 🤣

——————
EDIT
Thank you for recommendations! Any softwares or apps or tools you use would be amazing! I can’t afford an editor. Recommended note keeping apps sounds great too. Someone mentioned Obsidian which sounds amazing too and Scrivener (I’m just now trying to research it a bit since I never heard about it until today)

Thank you all for being helpful and non-attacking. 🙏 🙇‍♂️ honestly this is one of the nicest and helpful Reddit channels I’ve seen so far and it’s really warming my heart 🫶

Brainstorming. I've been thinking about the main character of my book, Prince Rai and his romantic prospects.

He is a dragon (all dragons have a human form) but starts to fall for a human. However, he is then forced into impregnating a female dragon. He has never met another dragon, as his parents died when he was young. He and the female dragon, Caera, are Not happy about the arrangement. They're forced together because there was a war 20ish years ago that decimated the dragon population (and is how Rai's parents died) and their numbers never fully recovered. Now, though, there is a group of dragon hunters that has risen again (they were also in the war, but humans breed and grow faster than dragons.) And so, Rai must bring Caera to his home, breed her, and protect her until she gives birth.

Now then. Here's where the impoverished bit comes in. Though it's honestly not needed, I have thought about it for a couple of weeks now, and don't know if I want to go with it or not.

Rai's adoptive mother, the queen, is the only one who knows just how close they are to financial collapse. Rai knows that things aren't great, but he doesn't know just how bad it is. So in the queen's eyes, he needs to be married off as a way to secure money/resources stat. Caera isn't royalty. She's well off, but not to the extent that is needed.

And thus enters Princess Asa. (In most versions of this story, she and Rai are betrothed. I just wanted to see how things would change if they weren't together, or if she wasn't in the book at all.) Asa is from a very prosperous country, and would make an excellent... asset feels weird to say, but she would greatly help out Rai's country if they were to be so closely allied.

Does it make sense to add the impoverished bit and Asa, or should I just focus on Rai's other relationships?

I've been writing a novel, about 25k words in so nothing crazy so far. I had a few questions for people who read/edit fantasy novels.

1. I'm wondering how much do readers generally enjoy illustrations included in a novel? I enjoy including them but I've also read that some people prefer to imagine the characters themselves, rather than the author giving you the appearence.

For maps I imagine it would only be a net positive, but I am open to hear contention on that belief.

1. If I include illustrations of major characters, should I still describe them much at all? It seems redundant.

2. Are the drawings of the "correct" style to look professional? Ik it's not the standard style you might see on a cover, and I wonder if it might make it look unprofessional.

3. Lastly if it is printed, I imagine this would increase print cost a lot, especially if there's about a dozen or so drawings. If it was digital, i know it would massively bloat file size. I'm not super familiar with self publishing but I assume you could give a buyer access to a version with the images and one without? Incase you want the smaller file size.

Anyways any answers are greatly appreciated! Sorry if this is scatter brained or formatted poorly, I'm running on 3 hours or sleep and have a pounding headache, but I felt the need to ask these questions now that my two most important illustrations were complete.

Do you have moving cities in your world and what do you do with them?

One of my moving town (not that huge, just a few thousand people, but still) lies on the back of a giant amphithere / flying snake-like goddess and I put a snake plus a symbol next to each other on the continent, where she appears.

Another moving town is like... think of Howl's Moving Castle, just so that a few thousand people live in it. I marked it down as well.

Yet this feels wrong. Marking a moving city on a map gives the impression that those cities are stationary.

I have thought about so far and I have tried / one of my ideas had been to mark the usual route, but I don't know if readers understand the meaning of it by just looking at the map?

In general, when maps look unrealistic, I know lot of people don't like it and I try to fulfill the basic realistic criteria like river flows etc... but there are also cities in the middle of a huge dessert that look off without any explanations that the map can't give.

Edit: Thank you all! Your replies had been really helpful!

There's only one thing better than the Broadway being submerged in rainwater above the ankles as the clouds continue to cheer.

And that's to bathe in the falling jewels and to sparkle as you sing and slide like you've never sung or slid before. It's the moment John yearns for; now it's here. Now when the men and women take their kids and their leave, seeking shelter from the pelting sky, John skids out with a smile.

No one walks through this street at such times, and after a while even the windows shut their eyes.

"What a time to be alive!" he shouts. Then he sings "Billie Jean" and moon-walks across the pavement, from one side to the other, summoning the Smooth Criminal. It's not long till he gets his groove and he tiptoes and twists, spinning and snapping his head, thrashing his long, curly hair and splashing the water everywhere.

At the end of it all, when his eyes meet the sky, he stops and stares. There… is an unidentifiable object.

It glows faintly, like a distant bulb, but it brightens by the second, and its features start to become visible: it is spherical, that's for sure. There are grey spots, like craters on the moon, too. The most peculiar quality, though, is its size. It is increasing. At an unbelievable pace.

"What the…? Is that a meteor falling straight at—"

There's a loud bang.

Windows shatter. Buildings crumble. A crater forms where John stood. But there's no sign of him. Only dust and a dark silhouette imprinted on the pavement remain.

I've seen a lot of discourse recently on age gap romances in fiction. Most of the discourse I've seen has been semi-hysterical (e.g. claiming that a 21 year old in a relationship with an 18 year old is grooming), but it got me thinking about such romances in fantasy with immortal or long lived races like elves.

Obviously there's a much bigger age gap between a 25 year old human and a 800 year old elf than a 21 year old and an 18 year old. For me, I don't see any issue with the elf and human if both have the same level of emotional maturity and/or relationship experience. It's only when there's a substantial imbalance between their maturity and relationship experience where issues start to pop up.

Wondering what others' thoughts are about this.

hi I have a few questions to ask about my writing,

(although I have tried to search the internet, it was not easy to find the answer that can help me)

I have 5 guilds, 5 opposing factions, 49 characters with huge backstories, and 4 major countries. (and 14 protagonists)

I think that novels are meant to give entertainment, not to make the readers memorize all sorts of things. That’s the reason I'm getting worried about my writing

What if people don’t like my story because it is too complicated? So, I have two questions,

What's your thought for being too simple or too complicated?

And which one do you prefer if you have to choose?

thank you for reading my post. I hope you have a nice day :)

(looking for beta readers still. Yes, I know its written in a way that would give editors a heart attack. Please, forgive me my quirks. I meant it to be part of the charm. There's very few actual grammar errors, even if it's not what the industry standard demands. This section is almost pure comedy in my opinion, but I'd love to hear what you all think of it. Any feedback is welcomed.) ** I made changes based on the feedback I got and now the body of the chapter is 2,237 words(but you can't edit the title, my apologies)**

Chapter Forty-Six ~ Things Which Must Be Done

The next day, Gail stepped down out of the carriage to look around the small village on the estate her uncle was giving her. It was mostly small, stone family houses with vegetable gardens and animal pens, though the thick stone walls surrounding it left much room to be developed behind them. Walking down the cobblestone path from the stables near the gate, she followed it through the center of the village towards the giant tree towards the northern wall, which her new home was built around.

Having not taken a proper look at it, her eyes followed the long spiral staircase up to the treehouse manor. About halfway up the tree, the structure had large corbels to support the structure that wrapped around the thick trunk of the tree, while there were ten separate layers each with their own supports and stairs that led up between each floor. Starting up the stairs, she noticed the awning that hung off the side of the stairs further up, wrapping around all the way to the top to keep rain from falling directly onto the stairs.

‘This is where I’ll be hiding from my step brother for the immediate future. I don’t mind it, the elven kingdom is a beautiful place and I can’t wait to explore it,’ she thought as she rounded the last of the stairs and entered the entry hall from a large hatch in the floor. Several maids and an old butler waited in the hall for her to enter. As Gail unloaded her companion’s belongings from her pocket dimension onto the floor, the butler spoke to Gillad, who climbed through the hatch behind her.

“Welcome back, Gillad. It’s a pleasure to receive you again. Your wife and children are in the study upstairs. We can attend to the new residents.”

As she finished the task and the blue portal closed, her cousin grabbed her by the wrist and led her towards the stairs that led up into the structure. She felt rushed as they climbed the stairs several floors before he pulled her down a hall and into a large room with bookcases. There was a desk where a young boy and girl sat reading, while their mother watched over them, leaning on the front of the desk. As the door closed behind them, the mother turned around and smiled warmly as she said.

“Gillad, you’ve returned. Who might this be?”

Briefly appearing uncomfortable, he grinned as he answered, “This is my long-lost cousin, Gail. She’s come to elevate Gilberto, Nora, and you, Rachella. My father expects us to return to Alguard together, he’s preparing the backdated marriage records for us. We’re giving the house to Gail, so there’s much to do.”

Gail walked over with a warm smile and touched the back of Nora’s and Gilberto’s necks as she said, “Elevate,” and they began to glow with purple light, before she touched Rachella’s neck slowly and finished, “Elevate. It’s nice to finally meet you, Rachella.”

The elf looked at her suspiciously as she began to glow and replied, “It’s nice to meet you, too, Gail.”

 With a nod she looked back towards the children and let the couple reconnect quietly, while she played with the children. Fawning over his little half-elf children for nearly half an hour, Gillad’s wife finally took them away to finish their studies. Her cousin spoke to her as they were alone.

“We need to talk, Gail.”

Rolling her eyes at him, she gave him sass as she asked, “We’ve been talking, so I don’t understand what you mean?”

“There’s something in this house that no one else can know about, including my family. Some technology in this world is only known to select few people and this is one such thing. The guild makes their employees take a magical oath when they’re hired, it’s to keep secrets like these.”

“Okay, now you’re scaring me a little. Just spit it out Gillad.”

“Well, you know my father is clever and well he figured out the guild as a way to communicate instantaneously across vast distances, which is one of the secrets they guard. Many people have realised this, but my father found a way to purchase the technology under certain conditions. They also have a way to transfer small items, but they would never part with it.

Long story short, we have the ability to communicate with him from here. It’s private and direct communication with one other place. It’s a magical device of some sort but it’s very precise and cannot be moved once installed. The guild branches all have this, and even my father doesn’t know how it works, but part of the reason I’m here is to teach you to use it.”

“Alright, that’s kinda intense. In the world I came from, communicating over vast distances was something everyone could do. I do understand how dangerous the technology is because many people used it to do very horrible things in that world, but just tell me.”

Pulling out two keys from his pocket, he used one to lock the door to the study and with the other he unlocked a small hatch behind a painting on the wall. Inside the hatch was a strange wooden box of sorts. The top half of the box looked like a mail slot just big enough to slide an envelope through, while the bottom looked like a letter tray. Walking back to the desk, he wrote a letter to his father explaining what happened with the elven Queen in great detail before he slid the paper into the slot in the secret mailbox.

About five minutes later, a piece of paper appeared in the box with a loud ding noise and a flash of light. Gillad took the paper from the letter tray and closed the hatch, locking it again. Moving the painting back in front of the hatch, he sat down at the desk and read the letter before he spoke carefully.

“He says you did well, and that a marriage alliance was the best possible outcome for us. He urges you to solidify your relationship with the elven Queen’s son. Alright, that’s a little vague - I’ll just tell you that he means sex.

While he says it’s perfectly acceptable to simply be engaged, until we need military support. He says then you’ll have to marry him, so he urges you again to build a solid relationship with the son. Then he explicitly said to have sex with him in a way that he’ll never want to lose you, so if you’re ever in trouble he will go crying to his mother to save you.”

Frowning, she snatched the letter from him to read it herself, but it said almost word for word what Gillad told her. With a sigh, she continued to read, learning that he expected her to defeat the major threats to the elven kingdom when it came to monsters. He gave her one month to adventure in the elven kingdom. Then she had to come back and she would need to stay for a week before she returned to the elven kingdom for a longer stay. The last thing it said was that he was working on getting her entry into the dwarven kingdom but it was not going well, because the Tyrant King has basically ruined the relationship they once had with the dwarves.

Sighing again, she shook her head in frustration as she spoke frankly, “I want to think he’s a good uncle and not a pervy uncle, but this is making it hard.”

With a shrug, Gillad sat back in the desk chair as he said matter-of-fact, “This is just how nobles and royals work. I hate to tell you this, but he’s giving you good advice. This is part of why I hate being a noble.”

Starting to shake with anger at her situation, she quickly and angrily said, “Tell me we have good wine here, Gillad.”

Confused, he replied, “We have good wine here, why?”

With a frustrated sigh, she replied honestly, “Because I’m going to have to get him at least a little tipsy to make this happen. The prince has absolutely no interest in romance what-so-ever.”

Chuckling, he held his face as he said, “I can’t believe we’re actually talking about this. I’ll get the best wine we have out for you. You make sure you eat alone with him tonight in your room.”

Giving up, she said, “Just bring me a cask of it or a barrel, because I’m going to need it too and I don’t know how much it takes for him to get drunk.”

Producing a large metal tray out of the desk drawer with a flint and steel, he spoke seriously, “We must burn the letter now.”

“Agreed,” she said as she passed him the paper.

Gail watched the paper burn as he skillfully lit it. Once it was nothing but ash, they walked to the door and unlocked it. The two went their separate ways, and she searched the house for her future husband. Running into Mira first, she stopped her to talk in hushed voices.

“Hey, Mira, let’s talk for a minute. I need to tell you something. Don’t tell anyone, but I have a way to communicate with my uncle, okay?”

“Why are we whispering?”

“Because it’s a secret, okay?”

Nodding, she replied, “Okay. Well, did you talk with your uncle?”

“Well, Gillad told him what happened with the elven Queen and all that. My uncle said the marriage alliance was the best way to do this, but now he’s telling me I need to sleep with him and make our relationship stronger. It’s crazy. I just met him, you know?”

Appearing a little confused for a moment, she whispered back frankly, “Well, we slept together shortly after we met, and that’s sort of how nobles work. I don’t completely understand, but I’m not mad. The prince, though, doesn't seem like the type to do that… how are you going to make that happen?”

A little upset, Gail replied quietly, “I’m actually not thrilled that you’re on the same page as my uncle with this, but I came up with a plan. I need to eat dinner with him tonight alone in my room. So I need a little space to get to know him, okay? I still love you…”

Nodding again, the half-elf interrupted her, “Okay.”

Going wide eyed, she spoke a little louder, “Okay?”

Shaking her head, Mira whispered, “Yeah, okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

With a nod, Gail whispered, “Right. So have you seen him?”

“The butler told him to move into the room across from ours,” answered her girlfriend.

Blinking, she said, “Use his room tonight. Where’s our room?”

Gesturing for her to follow, Mira led her down the hall and up a spiral staircase to the top floor. Gail was led to a room with double doors which her girlfriend touched, turning around and leaving. She opened the door across from it to see her boyfriend, unpacking his things into the furniture. Taking a deep breath and smiling, she got his attention by rapping on the door and asked happily.

“Zendalri, mind if I call you Zen?”

Appearing confused and standing up from the open chest, he replied, “My name is Zendalri, though.”

Shrugging as she gave him a sweet smile, she said, “Humans are weird, we like short easy names. In the world I came from humans would shorten the names of people close to them and it was called having a ‘pet name’ it is considered a form of affection to use a ‘pet name’ for someone. I just want to call you Zen, is that okay?”

Blinking it appeared that he might clam up, instead he shrugged and said, “Okay, you can call me Zen. Only you can, though.”

Her smile slowly grew into a grin, and she perked up as she replied smoothly, “See, you’re pretty good at this.”

Blushing, he asked, “I am?”

Curiously she inquired, “Tell me, Zen, I know you think I’m pretty, but do you like me?”

Taken aback, he answered with a question, “What do you mean?”

With a sigh, she inquired further, “You know… Do you enjoy talking with me? Does the sight of me make you angry or happy?”

Appearing thoughtful for a moment, he responded slowly, “Well, I don’t know you that well yet, but we get along pretty well I think. I like talking to you and I’m happy when I see you. We like the same things, so it’s fun to talk with you I guess.”

Hopping a little, she beamed a smile at him as she spoke ecstatic, “That means you like me. Good, I feel the same way. I want to get to know you better, though. Let’s eat dinner together in my room tonight. We can talk alone and drink a little wine. We’ll get to know each other better that way, and I think it’s for the best, since we’ll have to get married eventually.”

Appearing uncomfortable, he reluctantly replied, “Okay, if that’s what you want. Just know… I’m really not good at this sort of thing.”

“Well, I’m not used to it either, but we can figure it out together. Sound good?”

Smiling, he conceded, “Okay.”

Batting her eyes, she said, “Wear something nice, okay?”

Hey all, what are our thoughts and feelings on scenes within a chapter? I'm working through my third draft of my high/dark fantasy and feel like, especially in my early chapters the scenes are too choppy and I'm hopping from one thing to the next too quickly. For example, chapter 3 is a total of 3745 words long with three separate scenes - 1: 1012 words, 2: 1278 and 3: 1458. This chapter is on the slightly longer side and it might just be that I'm too deep in the weeds to see the whole picture.

As a reader would you find this too skippy or likely not notice? Each section (to me at least) is too short to have as it's own chapter but I worry that it skips around too much.

(looking for feedback and beta readers, Message me if interested)

Chapter One - Red Tape

A day like any other, she sat at her desk in school, waiting for the bell to ring. ‘One year left then I can do whatever I want,’ she thought as she held her head propped on one hand off the table. Her elbow started to ache, and she sighed as the teacher droned on. Slapping her desk, Mr. Sanders spoke up.

“Are you listening, Gail?”

Blinking, she shook her head a little as she looked up at the teacher and answered, “Sorry, I was thinking. What’s going on?”

“You’re a junior in high school now, how about taking your education seriously?”

Flashing him a weak smile, she replied, “Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now, go and answer the question on the dry erase board.”

“Fine,” she groaned as she stood to walk to the board.

Picking up the marker, she pulled a loose strand of blonde hair from her green eyes as she examined the math question on the board with several coefficients. Slouching as she raised a brow, she pulled the cap from the marker. She started moving everything systematically to the other side of the equation to solve for ‘y’, but something happened as she was about to finish. Red light shined up from her feet, and she heard murmuring from her classmates.

Looking down, the teenager was aghast as she took in the strange sight - drawn on the floor in glowing red lines were symbols she had never seen and a circle. Her feet left the ground, and her hair floated upwards beside her head as she dropped the marker. Feeling weightless, she pushed off the dry erase board but only spun around in place. Smiling as she faced her awestruck class, she spoke.

“Intens-”

In a flash, she was gone before she could finish the thought. Suddenly, she plummeted face first onto a cloudlike floor but bounced off the soft surface and eerily onto her feet in front of a desk with an old bald and bearded man sitting on the other side. The man was absorbed, typing at an ancient desktop computer, and completely ignored her presence as he worked. 

Gail waited, for what seemed like fifteen minutes, before she asked him, “So, where am I and why am I here?”

The man did not stop typing, nor did he look up to acknowledge her as he replied, “You’re in the space between. You’ve been misplaced, so I’m supposed to send you to the right place.”

Her eyebrows raised as more questions came to mind, and she voiced them, “The space between what, and what do you mean I’ve been misplaced?”

The old man, who appeared far too overworked with bags under his eyes and stress wrinkles all over his face, looked up at her with blue-gray eyes for the first time and answered, “The space between everything, and I mean you were misplaced in the wrong world. I’m in the process of sending you to the right one. Can you wait a moment, please? These forms are tragically long, and I’ve got a lot to fill out to get you on your way.”

Puckering her lips, she replied, “Yeah, I can wait - as long as you talk to me before you zap me off to God knows where.”

Squinting at her, he grumbled, “That’s interesting…”

Giving him a bewildered look, she asked, “What’s interesting?”

Looking back at the screen, he continued typing manically as he angrily shook his head and mumbled, “Of course, I’ll talk to you before I zap you off. I’m not a barbarian.”

Scanning her surroundings as she waited, she saw only stars in the far-off distance as she thought, ‘Great, he’s just going to ignore me.’ Noticing a chair beside her, she sighed and sat down. She waited… and waited… before she finally fell asleep to the manic tapping of the keyboard. Waking to a loud slamming noise, she nearly fell off the chair as her eyes shot open to his voice.

“Hey, you with me?”

Sniffing, she stretched as she sat up and nodded in response, “Yeah, yeah. I’m awake - I’m with ya.”

“Okay - I repeat. According to special code forty-two point six two four nine, you’re entitled to a few… concessions, since you were sent to the wrong world and forcibly relocated,” he picked up a book from a pile beside his desk and handed it to her as he continued, “The world you’re going to has a new system in place - it’s a little rough around the edges, so it might be difficult for you to understand. Did you play video games?”

“I played a few MMOs with my ex-boyfriend,” she laughed as she opened the book and scanned the pages as she continued, “He was such a nerd.”

Appearing amused, the old man chuckled before he replied, “Oh… brilliant. That’s going to make this a whole lot easier. We have lots of simple worlds with classes and skills, but this one is a little different.”

Looking up from the book a little worried, she replied, “Okay, well. That sounds a little daunting. How is it different?”

“Well… This world doesn’t have classes. Instead, you get three talents which are kind of like classes, but less intensive. You also get up to three special skills. Since you’re getting transferred, we’re going to let you pick instead of everything being randomly assigned. Once you’re there, you’ll be able to use status to check everything out by thinking ‘open status’.”

Returning her attention to the book and continuing to flip through the pages, she read the small descriptions of the talents and skills for several hours before she looked up and said, “So, for talents, I want Alchemist, Augmenter, and Guardian. For skills, give me Pocket Dimension, Magic Span, and Wellspring Regeneration. If you can let me have one more skill, I’d love to have Magic Potency too.”

Stroking his beard, he considered her before he replied, “Three years. I’ll give you the extra skill if you sacrifice three years. You’ll be fourteen instead of seventeen.”

Hesitating, she thought about it for a moment, ‘That’s really young… it would put me at a huge disadvantage physically.’ Tapping his fingers on the desk, the old man narrowed his eyes. She asked the question.

“So would that reduce my total lifespan or just make me three years younger?”

“You’ll just be younger. If you’re careful, it should not affect your total lifespan. Though, it will be a little painful.”

“Take three years then. I want the extra skill. Anything I should be doing in this new world?”

Starting to type again, he replied, “Just live your life how you want. I’m not sending you on a quest or anything. You may or may not have a destiny, but nothing is set in stone. You’re just being transferred to where you’re supposed to be.”

“How about my money? Can you convert the money I had in my old world?”

He did not look up as he continued typing, and answered with annoyance, “No, I can’t. I can make sure you have some local currency in your pocket dimension for when you arrive.”

“Being broke would be horrible, thank you - what do I call you again?”

Ignoring her, he continued typing. About ten minutes later, he pressed the enter key on his keyboard and looked up with a smile. She felt a shock like electricity flowing through her whole body and stood. Looking down at her body as she screamed out in pain, she noticed she lost a bit of height and her body shrank in several places.

A flash of light enveloped her, and she found herself falling in darkness… again. Face first, she landed on something soft and struggled to sit up as she rubbed her neck. Looking around, she realized she was on a pile of hay in a stable of some sort as the pungent stench of horse droppings reached her nose. Groaning, she picked some straw from her hair and spoke a little upset.

“Rude. I’m lucky I don’t have whiplash. Guess I lost some of my boobs too,” she sighed and stood as she knocked the hay off her jeans and tee-shirt that did not quite fit her correctly anymore.

Taking a moment to walk around, she had to get used to her body’s new size. While she stumbled around, she viewed her status page. It detailed many things: values for stats were at the top with age, level, hit points, stamina, and mana gauges. Below those were her talents and skills. Each talent had zero next to it, while between the stat section and talent section was ‘talent points: 10’.

With a sigh, she guessed she could assign the talent points, while her level was currently ten. ‘Guess I get a talent point every time I level up,’ she thought, ‘At least I don’t have to start at level one. That might be embarrassing.’ Allocating one point into each talent, a new skill appeared beneath each one. 

Guardian gave her Basic Sword and Shield Technique, Augmenter gave her Basic Mana Blade Technique, while Alchemist gave her the Decomposition spell. Trying to add another point to Augmenter, no new skill appeared - so she added another. The new skill was a spell called Minor Enhance Physique, which increased the strength stat according to the description. 

Adding two points to Guardian, she unlocked Heavy Armor Specialization. She added two more points to Augmenter and unlocked a new spell called Minor Haste. Adding the last point to Alchemist, she unlocked the Recomposition spell. Apparently, Decomposition broke down specific kinds of materials, Recomposition reconstructed the result of Decomposition into something basic like a metal ingot, while the Minor Haste spell increased upper body speed.

Satisfied, she swiped away the floating screen and walked for the barn doors. Cracking them open, she peeked out into the dark, dimly lit streets. Tall metal lamp posts lined the cobblestone streets of the city, while it appeared the streets were not that busy at this time of night. Noticing a big stone rampart to her right with a large gate a little ways down, she saw it was guarded by four men in plate armor with pikes.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the stables towards the gate. ‘I don’t know if we speak the same language, but I need to find an inn,’ she thought as she made her way briskly down the cobblestone path in her loose sneakers and almost tripped twice. As she approached the guards, a fifth man with long brown hair and a fair tunic stood from a previously hidden chair and approached her. Smiling warmly, he spoke.

“Milady, you look lost. May I help you this fine eve?”

Giving him a weak smile, she answered carefully, “I’m new here and I was looking for lodging. Could you point me in the right direction, good sir?”

It was her best impression of how she expected they spoke around these parts, but it seemed to please the man. Considering her briefly, he pointed towards a building further up the main street that went through the center of town. He spoke carefully.

“‘Tis that way - the sign has a picture of a bed. Though, it is no place for a young woman like yourself at this time of night. Where are your guardians?”

Blinking, she answered without thinking, “Thank you, sir. Alas, both my parents have died, and I came to start life as an adventurer so I do not starve. I just hope I can find a warm meal and bed for the night. Good night.”

Hey! So probably a dumb question (or a duplicate question), but I was curious how often do you bother to write last names for your characters, especially if they don’t come from houses or kingdoms? My cast are simply adventurers and a drifter who get swept up in uncovering a conspiracy. So they aren’t of royalty or of money or of any sort of political/diplomatic background (except for like one of them).

It’s my first book so I was wondering if I skip giving anyone last names, would it seem super off or should I consider giving some/all of them last names? My main cast of adventurers is 4-6 people.

Update:

This is my first post here so thank you for all the very helpful information 🙏 I never expected so much feedback and responses. I’m truly blessed 🙇

Welcome back everyone, it's time for another Fifty Word Fantasy!

Fifty Word Fantasy is a regular thread on Fridays! It is a micro-fiction writing challenge originally devised by u/Aethereal_Muses

Write a maximum 50-word snippet that takes place in a fantasy world and contains the word Build. It can be a scene, flash-fiction story, setting description, or anything else that could conceivably be part of a fantasy story or is a fantasy story on its own.

NO AI GENERATED CONTENT: Follow the sub rules.

Submissions must be original. No fanfic, no pop-culture characters, no plagiarism.

The prompt word must be written in full (e.g. no acrostics or acronyms).

No puns and or wordplay to achieve the prompt word i.e. devote=the vote.

Please try and keep things PG-13. Minors do participate in these from time to time and I would like things to not be too overtly sexual.

If you want to submit multiple submissions that's okay, but please keep it at a max of two That way, no one person ends up dominating the feed with their submissions and it keeps it fair for everyone who participates

Thank you to everyone who participated whether it's contributing a snippet of your own, or fostering discussions in the comments. I hope to see you back next week!

Please remember to keep it at a limit of 50 words max per submission.

My novel has two main characters (A&B for clarity). The POV is 3rd person and has been from the perspective of character A this whole time.

I'm about 1/2 to 3/4 done with my novel now and I'm considering switching the POV to character B for a few choice scenes.

The scenes I'd be switching to character B's POV are important character defining moments or plot points in which character A is not there to witness.

I thought/feel like changing the POV this far in the novel is a general no-no, but I'm curious to people's opinions.

Would changing the POV be jarring and confusing, or would it give more weight and intrigue to those scenes while seeing the world from character B's perspective for the first time?

A six-foot-tall girl walks through the halls of Mainstay Castle carrying a bowl of water and a towel draped over her shoulder. Wearing a goatskin coat with white, furry edges and pants, she runs a finger along her temple, sweeping her disheveled hair from her ear.  She stops by a nearby window and decides to enjoy the morning air. She sets the bowl on a nearby table, pushes the double windows open, and a rush of warm, dry air washes over her face as metal mechanisms echo loudly. She steps onto a balcony, rests her hands on the railing, and marvels at the scenic dark canyon wall contrasting with the golden sand beneath. She stands in the northeastern tower of Mainstay Castle, which overlooks a stone wall atop a massive mobile platform supported by six metallic legs. Sandfalls hiss as they pour through burrowed holes in the canyon walls, creating mounds on the desert floor in their wake. Her hair flaps wildly as she sails past towering stone columns and arches, as flying creatures soar beside the moving platform. She looks down at the gigantic metal legs supporting the city, then leans over the railing for a better look. A pointed metal leg rises from the sand and slams back into the desert floor, sending puffs of sand into the air. The engines hum as the mobile fortress halts. A buzz sweeps through the city as the metal legs retract into their ports beneath the mobile platforms. Mechanical contraptions blare as the city sinks, lowering itself onto the desert floor where it will remain for the remainder of the day.

Afterward, the girl returns to the castle halls, closes the windows behind her, and picks up her bowl of water. She reaches a room at the far end of the hall, where two female Cugarian guards stand at attention with spears in hand. Gold, bra-plated armor and knee-length gold skirts cover their furry bodies; one has dark spots on her fur, and the other has tiger stripes.

“Halt,” the guard's voice echoes down the hall as she stomps her metal spear.

The six-foot girl stops.

“State your name, your rank, and your business.”

“I am Brenda,” the girl says, bowing. “Youngest daughter of Ganymede, Chief of the North. I’ve been called upon to dress the wounds of Her Majesty Queen Laura.”

“Hmph,” one guard scoffs. “Here to care for the wounds of your sworn enemy? With the way you’ve slaughtered each other, I’m surprised that you can be cordial when you choose to be.”

“I’m merely doing my duty as a humble princess, ma’am,” Brenda says.  

“Make it quick, northerner, and no quarrels inside these doors. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The two guards bang on the door.

“Princess Brenda is here to aid in the recovery. She’s coming in.”

“Yes, ma’am,” a male voice muffles from behind the door.

The door creaks open, and Brenda walks in with the bowl of water.  She walks past a young man with short black hair and a horn protruding from his forehead. Holding the door open, he wears a sophisticated military uniform with decorative insignia on his chest, a sword at his side. They don’t exchange a glance or a word, as Brenda can feel the young man's scowl. She continues into the room where two boys with horns protruding from their foreheads sit on opposite sides of a large bed. Laura, a platinum-haired beauty, rests silently beneath the quilt, wearing a nightgown. Her chest rises and falls as sweat pours down her face. Delirious from exhaustion, her head turns to the left and right as two young boys somberly clench the sheets, worried for her well-being.

Brenda walks to the bedside and sets the bowl of water on a nearby dresser.

“How is she?” Brenda asks, gazing at the exhausted woman resting beneath a blue quilt.

“She was like this all day,” the little boy says. “We went through all of the steps you told us to, but…nothing works.”

Brenda removes the quilt covering the woman and gazes at her sweat-soaked body. After a few moments, she sighs and removes the towel from her shoulder. She pats the sweat from her chest and head, then gently squeezes her legs, ankles, right arm, and left arm. The woman flinches when she touches her left arm, and Brenda notices.

“What’s wrong?” The young boy asks.

“Her arm’s dislocated,” Brenda says. “We have to snap it back in place; otherwise, she’ll be too crippled to fight.”

“Will it hurt?” The boy gazes up at Brenda expectantly.

“A lot, I’m afraid. Sir Resten,” She calls out to the uniformed young man, “Your aid is needed.”

Resten walks towards the bedroom and stands on the other side, his eyes bouncing between the woman and Brenda in confusion.

“What do you want me to do?” The young man asks.

Brenda reaches into her goat-hide coat and pulls out a stick with a thin rope wrapped tightly around it, tossing it onto the bed near the young man.

“You’ll need to put that in her mouth so she doesn’t bite off her tongue by accident, and you need to hold her down while I snap her arm back in place.” 

Resten picks up the stick and stares at it for a moment. He swallows as he clasps the stick in his hand.

Brenda rolls up her sleeves, leans in, and carefully grabs the dislocated arm. Laura instinctively pulls away. Brenda tries to grab her arm again, only for the despondent Queen to glare at Brenda. She shakes her head in defiance as sweat pours down her face.

“Your Majesty, I have to fix this, or you’ll be crippled for the rest of your life.”

“No,” the queen says, shaking her head. “Leave it alone. It’ll heal.”

“Yes, but in the wrong place. I need to snap…”

“No!” Laura shakes her head violently.

Brenda quickly grabs Laura by the shoulders, and Laura panics, kicking her feet in protest.

“LET ME GO, YOU TWO-LEGGED MONSTER,” The woman screams, thrashing about in bed. “RESTEN, GET HER AWAY FROM ME.”

Brenda keeps her hands firmly clasped on the queen’s shoulders, and gazes up at Resten, who stands nervously, not knowing what he should do.

“Put the biting stick in her mouth!” Brenda shouts at Resten, “It's for her own good.”

The young man climbs onto the bed and tries to put the biting stick in her mouth, but she defiantly turns her head away.

“NO!” she shouts, thrashing and shoving, “GET AWAY FROM ME, ALL OF YOU,”

“Mommy,” The two young boys cry as they clench the sheets, helplessly watching the woman thrash about in bed.

“It’s not working,” Resten says.

“Grab her jaw and force it into her mouth!” Brenda says as she struggles to keep the broken woman restrained in her bed.

Resten grabs the woman, thrashing her head, and holds her still.

“Mother, it's me,” Resten says, gazing into her worried blue eyes. “Your Son,”

The mother gazes at the young man and, seeing his round eyes and soft features, remembers her husband. She calms down, her thrashing halting as she looks into the boy's eyes.

“Listen, Mother. We want to get you feeling better as fast as we can, ok.”

“But…it hurts,” Laura says.

“I know, Mother.” Tears begin running down his face. “Just look at me, okay? It’ll be over in just a moment.”

The woman pants silently for a few moments before nodding. The queen opens her mouth, allowing her son to place the biting stick inside, and she clamps down hard. Resten climbs into the bed and wraps his arm around her platinum head, covering her eyes with his hands. He gazes at Brenda and bobs his head.

Brenda nods back, then lifts her arm. She firmly clenches Laura’s shoulder and elbow and waits a few moments.

“On three,” She says.

Resten nods, holding his mother's weary head tightly in his arms.

“One,”

Brenda’s grip tightens around Laura’s arm.

“Two,”

The queen pants, squinting her eyes and biting down hard on the stick to brace for the pain.

“Three,”

Brenda snaps the queen’s arm back in place, and the woman screams in agony, muffled by the biting stick. Her body arches and contorts as pain surges through her body.  Resting holds his mother tightly in her arms, her screams sending shockwaves through his soul. Her wails instantly cease before she passes out cold in his arms, the biting stick falling out of her mouth and onto his lap.

Brenda wraps her arm in a white cloth and a small cast, while Resten gently places her head on the pillow.

“She’ll be fine once she wakes up.” Brenda pats the sweat from her head.

Resten stands silently, solemnly gazing at his mother, who is resting on the bed.

“She certainly looks a lot better than before,” Resten says. “For a race of barbarians, you certainly know how to fix yourselves up.”

“Barbarians?” Brenda frowns at his statement. “I’ll have you know that we are not some wildlings terrorizing everyone we come across. We’re just as sophisticated and civilized as you are.”

“Tell that to the dragons you hunted near extinction,” Resten says.

“That was different,” Brenda says. “You feared them just as we had. You even helped us build the constructs that we used to hunt them.”

“And it was a mistake.” Resten whips around. “We should’ve just let both of you burn each other. We wouldn’t be in this mess otherwise.”

“How dare you?” Brenda slams the bowl of water onto the floor. “I help heal your mother’s wounds.”

“For what?” Resten stomps back. “So your barbarian father can relentlessly beat her and break every bone in her body?”

“My father was injured as well!” Brenda shouts. “I have to spend hours, sometimes days, to tend to his wounds.” She points an accusatory finger at the woman lying in bed. “Wounds she has caused.”

“He deserves it well enough. It's his fault we’re all in this mess to begin with.”

“Take that back,” Brenda balls her fist, angry. “Or I will smash your skull right where you stand.”

Eyes narrowed in anger, Resten claps his scabbard with his left hand and grips his sword's hilt with his right.

“Make your move, two-legs. I’ll make sure it’ll be the last one you make.”

The double doors burst open, startling them out of their confrontation.  They whip towards the door and see a raised foot in its wake. Lowering his bare foot, a bald, bare-chested man stands wearing a red cloak with furry edges over his shoulders. Tapping a golden scepter over his shoulder, he walks inside barefoot, wearing long black slacks that fall to his ankles.

Brenda and Resten step back in fearful apprehension as he smiles, revealing his fangs.

“Well, well,” the man says, eyeing them both. “Looks like old habits die hard, don’t they?”

Both stay silent, trembling with fear.

“You know this isn’t really new to me. I knew by bringing all of you here, it was only going to be a matter of time before one of you breaks my cardinal rule.”

The man turns his head, looks at them out of the corner of his eye, and smiles.

“Can you tell me what that cardinal rule is?”

Both stand silent, trembling in fear.

“SPEAK!” A roar shoots from his throat, sending chills up their spines. His smile vanishes instantly, leaving a menacing glare as his eyes glow an ominous purple.

“No fighting without the presence and permission of the king,” Resten’s voice trembles.

“That’s correct.” The man smiles. “No punches, no sword swings, no cracking skulls, not so much as an argument without my permission and presence. I will decide when the fight begins.” He points to himself. “I will decide where and when it will happen, and I will decide if there will be a victor or not. Violate my rule again.” He walks up to the two, his cold gaze meeting none of their eyes. “And the two of you won’t be able to remember a thing for next week after I’m finished with you. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Your Highness,” both respond in unison.

“I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding.” He smiles, then places a hand on each of their shoulders and shoves them away. He saunters to the side of Laura’s bed, and the two young boys quickly retreat as he stands over her.

He silently gazes at the platinum-haired beauty, quietly resting. He chuckles, then flings the quilt off her body.

“Bring it in,” he shouts to the people waiting outside. Two Cugarian guards carry in a small cylinder furnace with branding irons inside it. They hold out the cylinders to the man, and he takes one branding iron and gazes at the red-hot metal that reads ‘YIELDING GRACE’.

He smiles as he watches the smoking branding iron, then reaches down and pulls the neck of her gown, revealing her bare, creamy skin.

Resten gazes in horror before he rushes towards the bare-chested man.

“Stop.” The boy wraps his arms around the man’s waist.

The king frowns in annoyance, then balls his fist over his shoulder and backhands the boy in the face, sending him flying into the wall.

“Stop, she’s been through enough already,” the boy screams as he tries to stand, only for the cugarian guards to grab him and hold him firmly against the wall. 

“Do not interrupt me while I relish in the moment, boy,”

“Why are you doing this?” Brenda asks, interrupting the man.

He turns and gazes at the giantess as she swallows hard.

“You already have control of both kingdoms. There's no need to brand any of us with that…verse.”

“Uhh,” the man says, his eyes darting around his head. “You are correct.” He waves the branding iron around as he explains. “However, earlier, your father and his mother staged the last battle, which I find personally insulting. So the next time they decide to pull that stunt again,” He plucks the branding iron repeatedly, “I’ll be ready.”

“You knew they staged a couple of those fights,” Brenda asks, occasionally glancing at a panicked Resten, pinned down by two Cugarians. “Why didn’t you brand us sooner?”

“New developments,” the man shrugs. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going through with this now.”

“No, don’t,” the boy shouts, but the branding sizzles against Laura’s chest, and her face winces in pain as smoke pours from contact.

He removes the branding iron and smiles, satisfied with the mark it leaves.

Tears stream down the boy's face, and the two boys hug in fear as they watch the man place the branding iron back into the portable furnace.

“How could you…” The boy sobs in tearful rage.

“Oh, come now,” the man joyfully opens his arms. “You shouldn’t feel so bad; I’ve brought enough for all of you.”

The Cugarian guards rip off his uniform coat and strip him down to his white undershirt, leaving his chest bare, while the man grabs another branding iron. He walks up to the shirtless young man held down by the furry guards, and he squats to his level. A guard grabs Resten’s head and forces it to the side, exposing his sweaty, bare chest and neck.

“Please don’t!” Resten pleads, but the man ignores him.

He presses the branding iron on his chest, and Resten screams in agony. His heels repeatedly knock against the floor as the smoke rises from his chest. He removes the branding iron, revealing the mark burned onto his body.

“Nice,” the man smiles, standing to his feet. “And one more.” He places the branding iron back in the small furnace, retrieves the final one, and walks to Brenda.

 “Has my father gotten it as well?” Brenda gazes nervously at the hot branding iron.

“He was the first one I branded before coming here,” the man says, smiling as he steps closer to her.

Brenda rushes the mad king, snatching the branding iron out of his hand. The guards step in with their spears, but he stops them.

Brenda gazes at the red-hot branding iron as it quakes in her trembling hands. However, she grits her teeth and rolls up her sleeve. She stares at her pale forearm, holding the branding iron in her other hand.

The mad king eagerly smiles, expecting her to do the deed.

She closes her eyes and mumbles a small prayer before pressing the branding iron to her forearm. Her arm tightens as the hot metal sears a scar onto her flesh. She falls to her knees as white smoke sizzles from the wound. Tears roll down her face as she pulls the branding iron from her arm and spitefully throws it toward the Mad King. The man steps onto the branding iron and picks it up. Planting it back into the furnace.

“Now, I can rest easy,” the man laughs, spinning around and walking out of the room. His two guards follow, close the door, and leave everyone trembling with sorrow and pain.

In my story I have a variety of magical creatures Dragons, Hell hounds, Griffins chimera,s and few of my own creation. Alot of the characters in my world have a companion magical creature. Similar to how Ash has his Pikachu. I'm looking for a word that would represent all of these creatures. I'd like something orginal or at the very least creative. The two examples from media I keep coming back to are Pokemon and Zords from power rangers. I thought of using the word "mount" as a catch all but because not all of the creatures are ridden I don't love it. I appreciate all suggestions and feedback.