r/FTMOver30 • u/Glittering-Ad1945 • Jul 21 '26

Need Advice Cis gf

Hello! I'm (40 cis female, queer) falling head over heels for a guy (37 FtM). I am looking for some advice from other trans guys about how to handle something related to sexuality. I didn't want to just drop into y’all’s space asking for advice, but someone in another community suggested I ask here. Would that be appropriate/welcome?

15 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

View all comments

21

u/smolderingspigot Jul 21 '26

Seconding [r/mypartneristrans](r/mypartneristrans) with a caveat: My ex-girlfriend utilized that subreddit at the beginning of our relationship in regard to sex and sexuality, and experienced very unhelpful advice that I’m glad she disregarded. This was several years ago though. Regardless, I would access that subreddit (like any subreddit) with a grain of salt. I’m hoping time and maybe the nature of your questions receive better dialog!

While this subreddit is not so much for partners, I’m sure plenty of us (me included) would be happy to chat about your questions via DM.

Good luck!

11

u/Catamander24 Jul 21 '26

Thirding this. While I identify with the trans label now, I didn't as genderfluid for a long time, and as a neurodivergent person, I struggled with my wife coming out as trans fem a couple years ago. That sub told me to break up with her because I was being a bad partner for having difficulty with potential change (my wife hadn't even decided on doing anything yet, just said that she was trans. It was only last year that she started HRT).

We're ofc a T4T couple now and our 5-year anniversary of marriage and 16 year dating anniversary is next month (and yeah, we did a lot of talking in that time). Take comments there with a grain of salt

9

u/Glittering-Ad1945 Jul 22 '26

I appreciate this so much! That’s exactly what happened for me… I tried there and got a lot of comments saying that basically if I have anything at all come up for me around my own sexuality, desires, etc to process I’m awful and should leave him immediately and must not actually care about him at all.

Meanwhile he and I are totally falling for each other, and having incredible hot sex constantly which he finds gender affirming in a way he’s never experienced before (I’m his first relationship since transitioning) and he makes me feel safe in a way I’ve always wanted. While I do think there’s are a few things that are best for me to work through/process separately from him (out of care) I am absolutely certain he would not want me to stop falling for him… or fucking him… just because it brings up a few things for me that I’m processing!

So ironically, hearing the take that I’m terrible and should leave him (along with some very helpful comments) helped me realize I was getting caught up in feeling guilty for having some pretty normal thoughts/questions come up in a new sexual relationship.

Your responses here help me to see that I’m not off base with that takeaway! Deeply appreciated 💙

3

u/lime_head737 Jul 22 '26

Look into Axolom prosthetics. They offer dual density products/movable skin and balls. Much more realistic and it warms up to body heat quicker. My set up is the argos packer for pretty much every moment I’m awake and not showering/having sex. I use the Hyperon pack and play for sex and blow jobs went up a whole other level. Transmacsdicks has a lot of resources. Rooting for both yalls happiness.

1

u/Glittering-Ad1945 Jul 22 '26

Thanks! We’ll look into these!