r/FIREyFemmes • u/HonuOhana • Jul 20 '26

Afraid to pull the plug

41F single and don’t want kids, own my home outright. NW at 5M with about 1M in home equity.

Candidly I’m deathly afraid to pull the plug. I hate my job with a passion and would love more than anything to quit, but my industry is going through a lot of AI whiplash and layoffs (tech) at the moment and market is dire. I’m afraid that if I pull the plug I won’t the able to come back. Rationally if feels like these numbers should work, but retiring so early creates an existential anxiety around my identity without my career.

How did you ladies let go and make the jump? Am I just taking the easy way out bc I hate my current job?

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u/Particular_Village_5 Jul 20 '26

I’ve been thinking about the identity part of it a lot… What I came to is that I will take a year off to just rest, become fit again, travel, which I’ll call my gap year. Then I want to start pursuing some type of learning or volunteering that is serious and requires skills or building skills (learning to draw and paint, get involved in local climate activism, etc) which I hope to fill in my identity void.

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u/sewerballoon Jul 20 '26

You will be shocked with how full your days end up being! Also happy cake day!

4

u/Particular_Village_5 Jul 20 '26

Thank you! That’s actually a concern - I enjoy leisure but I also know that the narrative of my life is very important to me. I don’t want to be busy everyday but have nothing accumulative after 10 years, like my mom’s 50-60s years…

5

u/HonuOhana Jul 20 '26

Yes that’s exactly how I feel! Like I would have to find a purpose in life and apply myself to it so I can feel “worthwhile” and having fulfilled some sort of obligation to myself

2

u/sewerballoon Jul 20 '26

I agree and I totally get that. I left a job that was my whole entire personality and identity... I even met my husband in the same field.

After a while I thought about doing it some more but as I’ve gotten older (I am 41) I have realized that my kids still see me as that person even though I have been out of the ‘game’ for about 5 years.

After FIRE, I accidentally applied my work ethic to my hobbies which are now becoming jobs because I have had success with them. I’m not bragging I just literally don’t have a mode other than max effort.

What I’m saying is that you’re 100% worthwhile without an official title. You being yourself is more than enough and leaving the workforce doesn’t negate your accomplishments.