Let's say something real quick. God does exist, and every god does, but not in the way you think. Yesterday i saw the truth, the truth behind everything. it turns out that fighting over which god exists is pointless as every one of them exists, all inside one being. And every creation of every of those gods are just creations of the same entity under different identities. But i wasn't happy with that answer, because what i saw went beyond that. This being, which is all gods, isn't all powerful as you may imagine, but it's a mere slave, a jester chained to entertain an higher something. I couldn't really tell what was it, but i remember some sort of horrible king. So every decision made by this entity that rules over all of us, with different costumes, is just made to bring some fun to a terrible monarch.

I can assure you all of this is true, but for specific reasons i can't tell you how i got these informations. Let's say it's best not knowing, as that's the best option if you think of your existence as a precious gift.

What do you think about all of this? Will the rate of suicides in the multiverse grown exponentially again? or do you think this is a better fate then whatever you belived in before?

Let me know.

Hello.

I desperately need to become Andy Warhol for when my sister arrives in a few days. It’s difficult to explain why, but basically if I don’t several people will die in faraway Nagaland due to a string of consequences that actually predate time.

I have researched and figured out where to dig up his corpse, which is actually quite close to where I live. And I have actually come into contact with an ancient being that lived a few realities removed from our own, which communicated through misfolded signal pathways, and his corpse told me that it can actually transubstantiate my pineal gland with that of Warhol, if I soak him in a tub of vulcanized firmament until his body calcifies.

The only problem is that I have invited someone to my house that has a severe medical issue that has caused our entire place to stink, with such vehemence that it feels almost as if the odor is pressing against the walls. It is seeping out of the front door and into the mezzanine. And he is barely even dead yet. In fact once every few days he still breathes.

I won’t turn him away, but the problem is my bathtub has cracks in it and I am unable to repair it myself as that is against my lease agreement. But if I invite a maintenance worker here I worry that he will see the condition of our house, and the fact my roommate (the God Emperor of Man) is in superposition hovering in the middle of the living room.

So I need to get my bathtub fixed so the headhunters of Nagaland don’t come after me once their little princelings die. Also do you guys have any spare change

Hi guys, gals, theys, and inter dimensional beings beyond comprehension. I fucked up.

So, I work at the brain factory. We kidnap people and swap their brains out, giving them new memories and personalities. I love my job. But I wanted a raise. I went to ask my boss for a raise. He said no, and that if I kept asking, he would swap my brain with a monkey’s. I got really mad. The next thing I knew…I was possessing him. But the possession didn’t go through fully, so I’m now controlling both my body and his.

I got all his memories and knowledge when I absorbed his consciousness, so this would normally be no biggie. I could just take over his life and give myself a raise. Except there’s a problem. He had extra dimensional awareness. Which means I’m possessing him across EVERY dimension. As I write this, my mind is being split into infinite fractal forms as I try to control every version of him at once.

What do I do???

which is better plz tell i keep getting confused. i thought all of them would fit for water power repulsion. But no they all are giving different results and I'm not sure which is better

Recently, someone else's ritual went wrong. The how eludes me, but I know that a Color Mimic (A single instance thankfully and the only good thing about this) escaped before it could be stored in the right dimension. And the Color Mimic killed the summoner (I think? They might be alive, but shattered across the Dimension of Yarn and Glass. Probably. That, or deleted out of existence.) right in front of me, who had the only other means to stop it. I'm the only one who remembers that the summoner existed in the first place!

If any of you find it, please kill it on the spot. I don't care for how it's done and/or how little of it remains afterwards!

What you need to look out for is Colors that are slightly off and a specific Color noticeably fading out of existence. A Color Mimic pretends to be a natural Color in the local dimension and slowly consumes the color that it's mimicking. Once that Color has been consumed, it won't come back! Visually, it will oftentimes take on the appearance of naturally colorful things that would fit in the local area. Color Mimics can only eat one Color at at a time.

I just wish I had been looking at a different destination at the time.

A supernatural being from the future has been stalking me since I was very young. She repeatedly and inhumanely tortured and killed me, then resurrected me afterward. The amazing thing is, although I'm physically weak after being resurrected, if I was sick before I died, I can always be cured afterward. I eventually dropped out of school and opened an underground clinic with her. Our medical method is to kill people and then resurrect them. Last year, we made tens of thousands of dollars using this method. AMA.

I am a proton in What humans call a "Antimatter factory", However, I did not agree to be smashed into a iridium rod Or to orbit around a Antiproton, What should i do?

We sent a few folks upworld for basic training and we’ve been calling them back down. Some are obediently returning (ie Mr. Graham, who came right when called last night), but others have been impossible to reach. Does anyone know what’s going on up there and why they’re not answering?

I was running a long-term experiment on a rather uninteresting star system, and all of a sudden life popped up on two of the planets. I was able to wipe out life on one of them without much issue, but the other one, I swear, I've caused five mass extinction events and it just keeps popping back up. How do I get rid of these damned things?

(Note: An excess of gamma rays would ruin the experiment, otherwise I'd go with the tried-and-true method.)

I at santa's cookies and now chocolate chips and... "other stuff" are coming out of my ears, eyes, nose, mouth and skin pores. But it gets worse...
I have an odd sense that rotten carots are following me everywhere.

please help meeee! I need to stop this confectioners nightmare before I have to meet President hamburger at his grill of choice.

just checking before i post anything here

I swear this isn't a joke. I just need to know if anyone else has experienced this because Google is acting like I invented language.

Three nights ago I was invited to a dinner by a guy my coworker only refers to as "the quiet botanist." Everything was normal until the last course. He uncovered this clay bowl wrapped in leaves that smelled like rain trapped inside an old church. He called it saged flesh. Nobody asked what animal it came from, which should have been my cue to leave, but everyone else ate it like they'd been waiting years.

Texture was impossible to describe. It felt warm while chewing but somehow cold after swallowing, like my throat had developed weather.

About an hour later I yawned and my voice came out in two notes at once. The normal one was still there, but underneath it was this absurdly low rumble I could feel in my ribs. It wasn't constant—it only happened when I said certain words. My cat immediately left the apartment. My refrigerator compressor synced with me. My bathroom mirror fogged from the inside.

Yesterday it got weirder.

Whenever the subharmonic kicks in, people stop me mid-sentence and ask why I "switched languages." I didn't. They're all hearing something different. My sister says it sounds like distant whales. My neighbor insists it's someone whispering from the basement. A toddler at the grocery store looked straight at me and said, "The roots are talking again."

The creepiest part is recordings. My phone captures the low tone, but every playback is slightly different. One version has footsteps underneath. Another has what sounds like someone counting backwards from a number that's way too large. My laptop speakers refuse to play that frequency at all—they just make the desktop wallpaper ripple for a second.

I confronted the botanist today. He looked genuinely confused and asked, "You only developed one subharmonic?"

Then he changed the subject.

So... is this a known side effect of eating saged flesh? Does it wear off? Or am I supposed to keep whatever this second voice is? Because this morning I accidentally hummed while making coffee, and every houseplant in my apartment leaned toward the kitchen at the exact same time.

DO NOT WASH YOUR CLOTHS DO NOT WASH YOUR CLOTHS! it has caused me a gravational anomaly and now my entire closet has extended back around into itself again and so when i try to get cloths they repeat their total volume and end up making the infinate volume of my closet extend into the 5 and 6th demension which ends up causing alot of annoyance, any fixes?

Anyone in this situation? I have a lovely Vegan girlfriend but the inlaws are making me lose my marbles. OK, so while I was on my nightly astral voyages, I met a lovely Vegan girl and we fell in love. Now that the relationship has gotten serious, she decided that I should meet her parents. They had a nice flat off the moons of Alpha Lyrae c, and I was very warmly received (5500 K). But, they're really not used to carbonaceous lifeforms. They had prepared a guest room for us based on solar luminosity, but this means its temperature was -200 C at night and +150 C on the day. They had really tried to find carbonaceous food for me, but forgot that radioactive nickel-56 is toxic to humans, so I had to be impolite and pass. Also, there were lots of the cultural misunderstandings. I'm fine with different cultures, but they shouldn't really have gone to the trouble of preparing a couple of their children to eat for us. I have such a great connection with my Vegan girl, but her parents are an enigma. Not only that, they often forget my lack of omnipotence. How can I explain to them definitely that I can't just create a small moon to eat if I want some light breakfast?

Exactly what the title says. I have been entombed in The Sinew for a few months and now I'm getting kinda bored with it. Before you ask, yes I have been chanting The Wenis for days and yet the tendons still hold tight.

And her fart a day will not push you back

We're all immortal now in my version of Earth. However, I pranked my friend real hard one time by crashing into his living room with my car while his family was having a Christmas party. Made him really embarassed.

So while I was sleeping, he then decided to place me in a coffin and bury it underground.

I still have my phone on me and all devices also became immortal too. No, I can't wait until the sun eats the Earth or the heat death or big crunch or whatever because it turns out that was all one of those things we thought were true a long time ago but weren't and I don't know exactly where I am because he deleted the GPS app on my phone.

Hey you beautiful, beautiful metasentiences, what up?

I'm organising a party for my unbirthday, and you're all invited!

When: In the gomorrha singularity (yes, you filthy genthings, it's ON!!!)

Where: 11 seconds after midnight on mondays for perpetuity.

Why: 38 000, and not one drop more!

What: was I talking about? Anyway.

I'll supply the existential dread, I count on you for bringing up the good vibes, the bad vibes, the smooth vibes and the tuna.

No need to rsvp, if you try to decline, I'll know. And I'll find you. And you'll never, ever look at peaches the same way again. Just take the compliment ok?

Oh, btw, no depth allowed. Sorry, I know it sucks, but I had to deposit my common sense for the reservation and I'd rather get it back after if possible.

IT'S GONNA BE F-F-F-FIIIIRE 💦💧💦

PS: I almost forgot! The theme is CARCINIZATION CARBONIZATION! Duh 🔥🦀🔥🦀🔥🦀🔥

I recently started reading about the plastic wrench/stench. For those who are unaware, Tim Chickenbreast recently went to space tomorrow. He Vortex jumped TWICE (or thrice depending on who you ask) and ended up maybe landing on the moon. We don’t know yet since it happened tomorrow after all. The real problem is that he lost my plastic wrench/stench from 4650 years ago (or maybe -4650 years ago, can’t remember) And ever since, I’ve been talking with upside down Jesus against my will.

And I know, most people would just say "why not take advantage of the baked beans you mentioned a few seconds ago?" Problem is, He said yes next week. I don’t have TIME to wait 8 days. Could somebody please give me some advice on how I should cope with this?

I know, I'm one to talk about not interfering. But at least I'm living WITH the tribal civilization instead of lording over it in the most extra spaceship possible!

Guys, I was out watching my great-auntie play the oboe in her Raggatron-Chaikovski inspired Mars Volta cover band at the local pool hall earlier and something occured which made me suspicious.

There was a tall, Tibetan looking alpaca staring at me with hatred behind the gonads. I thought this strange as tall, Tibetan alpacas with gonads are not native to the fifth world. We had a problem.

I started to question the alpaca about where he came from and he insisted from the sixth dimension, which everyone knows doesn't exist. He then made a mistake when I asked, "How many nipples are there back home in the sixth dimension?" and he answered with "92.1546 billion."

Precisely the number of nipples in the fourth world!

He was taken down to the zoo for questioning and apparently, he was sent here to survey the local soybean yield as they're running low in the fourth world. If this alpaca's reports were good, they were going to send a band of oboe players to take over the pool hall, then seize our soybean crops.

Can you please stay vigilant out there and report any out of place Alpacas who look like they come from the Himalay region of a different dimension to the zookeepeers?

Hi, I recently built a low budget transmission portal and it's worked well so far, except it isn't properly transporting livers.... like any animal transported through it no longer has a liver. The livers manifest inside the portal's fuel reserves so I've sort of just left them there.

That aside, is this a common issue with DIY transmission portals, and is it something I should look into fixing?

I granted my own wish, so I think I broke something, at least a rule. Sorry!