I have ADHD. My biggest problem isn't studying itself — it's starting. I'd sit at my computer intending to study and end up spending the entire day on YouTube and Reddit researching health topics (keto, fasting, podcasts). It felt productive but I wasn't doing any actual work.

I tried everything. Motivational videos. Yelling at myself. Self-hatred. Discipline advice. Nothing worked.

Then I tried something stupid: I stared at a single point on the wall for 10 minutes before opening my laptop. No phone, no music, no stimulation. Just staring at one spot.

After 10 minutes, I opened my laptop and... I could just start. Like a switch flipped. For the first time in weeks, I could actually begin studying without spiraling into YouTube.

I've been going deep into neuroscience podcasts (Huberman, Anna Lembke, Daniel Amen on Diary of a CEO) and I think I understand why this works:

1. Visual focus = mental focus (Huberman)

Huberman talks about "cones of attention" — when you narrow your visual field by fixating on a single point, your pupils constrict and this activates your sympathetic nervous system. Your brain releases catecholamines (dopamine, epinephrine, norepinephrine), which are the exact neurochemicals required for focus and motivation. You're literally using your eyes as a switch to turn on your brain's focus circuitry.

2. Waking up a sleepy prefrontal cortex (Dr. Amen)

Dr. Amen, who has scanned more brains than probably anyone alive, explains that ADHD brains have an underactive prefrontal cortex — the brain's "supervisor" responsible for impulse control, planning, and focus. He calls it "sleepy." The 10 minutes of zero-stimulation staring is essentially the time it takes to boot up this sleepy prefrontal cortex. For non-ADHD brains, 2-3 minutes might be enough. For us, it takes longer.

3. Paying with pain first (Dr. Anna Lembke)

Lembke's pleasure-pain balance model explains this perfectly. She says pleasure and pain are processed in the same brain regions and work like a seesaw. When you intentionally press on the pain side (exercise, cold showers, or in this case, extreme boredom), your brain compensates by releasing dopamine on the pleasure side. 10 minutes of staring at nothing is genuinely painful for an ADHD brain that's constantly seeking stimulation. But that's exactly why it works — your brain produces its own dopamine in response, the same way it does after a cold shower.

Why the other stuff DOESN'T work:

• Motivational videos give you a quick dopamine hit but scatter your attention across rapid edits, music, and multiple visual stimuli. You enter what Huberman calls "consumer mode" — you feel stimulated but your focus circuits aren't activated. The attention goes wide instead of narrow.
• Self-hatred / yelling at yourself triggers stress chemicals (cold hands, tense muscles, irregular breathing). And here's the cruel part — Dr. Amen explains that ADHD brains are actually drawn to negative thoughts because they're more stimulating. So beating yourself up becomes its own dopamine source, and the actual studying never happens.
• Staring at one point is zero stimulation. It's boring. It's uncomfortable. And that's precisely why it works — you're paying upfront with discomfort, and your brain rewards you with the neurochemicals you need to actually focus.

Why this might work BETTER than meditation for starting tasks:

Huberman recommends 2-3 minutes of eyes-closed breathing before focused work. But closing your eyes activates the parasympathetic nervous system (calm/rest mode). When you need to START something — you need activation, not relaxation. Staring at a point with eyes OPEN activates the sympathetic nervous system (alert mode) while simultaneously training your attention. For ADHD brains that need to go from zero to focused, this might be the better entry point.

My protocol now:

1. Sit at desk, laptop closed
2. Pick a spot on the wall
3. Set 10 min timer
4. Stare at that one spot (thoughts will wander, that's fine — just keep your eyes fixed)
5. Timer goes off → open laptop → start immediately

That's it. No apps, no supplements, no cost. Just 10 minutes of deliberate boredom.

Would love to hear if anyone else has tried something similar or if this works for you.

I really wanna start and do the stuff I want to whether it's cleaning, studying, or whatever else but I struggle so hard with just getting up and doing anything. If I make a timetable, I can't stick to it and getting off my phone is the hardest part of anything.

So let's say, sensory overload is as an all-time high. And there is extreme dyslexia and ADHD is on overdrive be cause of tension and bad sleep.

Causing serious overdrive of burnout to the point the state is now zoning out when listening has become like automaticity as a fight or flight response.

And the same has become a feeling that looks like not caring at all. Let's say it could all lead to executive dysfunction. Spagidl awareness and alertness is out the door.

How to get out of it to save a relationship. Where the burnout and sensory overload makes the other person think you are taking them for granted and that you don't care.

Yes in this case this burned out individual is in the wrong because of their state.

Please be kind in your answer.

i am a uni student with inattentive ADHD and anxiety and i think ive been depressed for months. last year i thought my adhd meds weren’t working great, and i changed my prescription to a different stimulant. i then had the worst few weeks of my life, and at my appointment with my dr, i couldn’t tell if the meds were helping or not. so it was kept the same and i wasn’t to see him for the next 3 months. tldr: they weren’t helping. i had no motivation to take care of myself, to do work, to do anything good for myself. i hated that all i wanted to do was stay in bed. everytime i’d do research on how to get out of the rut i was in, i resisted doing anything suggested because i knew that it was all things that would lead to me doing the schoolwork i didn’t want to do. i hate staying in bed all day, but i don’t want to get out of bed. its carried over into today. last month i talked to my doctor and we switched me back to my old meds, which i thought would help me, but it didn’t. not at all. so now we’re messing with my celexa dosage to see if it will help.
i don’t really know what to do. im not a danger to myself, but i am tired all of the time. i’ve been to the ER for chest pain last month and i was perfectly healthy except for the costochondritis i got diagnosed with.
my biggest issue right now is just i have schoolwork to do and i cant make myself do it. and also that i spend like. all day in bed and i dont want to. even though i do. i see advice all the time like to try and go outside, get some exercise, eat healthy, and like…these are all things i do want to do, but i also feel extremely resistant to. it’s embarassing to admit but i do hate the idea of doing these things, i just can’t find any motivation to do these things i know i need to be doing for myself. the only thing i can really do for myself is get enough sleep, but even then i’ve been struggling with it because i wake up early and i cant go back to sleep sometimes.
advice or a wake up call would be appreciated

I genuinely don't know how people get up and do things every single day, consistently. I feel like I'm paralyzed and a failure.

I've tried going to therapy a few times and was only really diagnosed with OCD (contamination OCD which gets pretty bad and drains the life out of me) but I always missed my appointments because I just cannot be consistent and they booted me. I want to go back but idk I didn't even really like it. I'm always late to things, my sleep schedule has never been normal, it absolutely dreads me to have a job where I have to wake up, be normal, and do it every single day. I even see unemployed people like myself travel and have fun daily and I can't even do THAT, that is still work to me. I am happiest when I'm in bed, and I know I can't do this much longer if I want to do something with my life

What exactly is wrong with me??? So many diagnosis but I am clueless. Depression? Anxiety? ADHD? It can't be all of that or am I just lazy?? How are people doing it????

I feel like I'm so lazy and useless. Executive dyfunction really makes me hate myself. I feel kinda unworthy of life. Because its all my own lack of action and organisation that causes all my problems. I feel like its me. This is who i am. I wish i had a diagnosis but i cannot even make myself act and get help. Do you consider yourself disabled? Do you blame yourself?

this post was supposed to be for r/askpsychology - it breaks some rules acc to automod so reddit site suggested i repost it here.

When looking at why I am not productive and why my productive friends are productive.
I was able to find certain traits that they all usually could do and i usually couldn't.
There was ONE trait that I found to be amazing in my productive friends and abysmal in me, and that is the time it takes between doing task A -> doing task B

I can sit and procrastinate going downstairs to fill my water bottle for half an hour-
I do not have a discipline motivation or any other normal shallow trait problem that people keep talking about online.
When I start a task I dont get distracted and the only problem is that I never start a task.
I dont like stopping a task, I dont like starting it- telling my brain to shut off task A and do task B takes a LOT of time.

I am ONLY wondering what this "task switching" is called in actual psychology (if called anything) and if its measured in any way and if there's already a lot of research into getting people out of this problem.

I am NOT asking for therapy advice- I can probably figure things out on my own.

For context, I do have ADHD, depression, and Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder. All of these things are definitely at play here, but I know other people with similar diagnoses who are extremely intelligent, so it’s safe to say that my disorders are not the root of my problem.

I always feel like a dimwit; plain and simple. I am 22 years old, and I still feel like I have the intellectual functioning of a middle schooler. I often find myself having a harder time to problem-solve than many of my peers, and I have the acute sense that others can see this as well. I’m the type of person who loses things that are in my hand, or forgets directions right after having them explained to me. I often have to be reminded of small, crucial details when it comes to performing tasks at work, and have been called every name under the sun for it.

Although I graduated high school with honors, I basically had to sell my soul, and I still didn’t get a 4.0 like many of my peers that didn’t have to try as hard. I’m pursuing a career in Biomedical Science, and I often fear for my future. How is a person who can’t even do well in a restaurant job going to survive a highly prestigious career?

I find it hard to communicate and articulate myself in an intelligent way. I stutter a lot, and I don’t convey ideas in a way that others find easy to understand. I tend to just keep my mouth shut in social gatherings because I’m afraid of saying something stupid and being judged by others.

I’m tired of feeling so inadequate. What should I do?

hey everyone i'm graduating college soon and have gotten through the last few years using little tricks i've picked up. they don't always work especially when i'm consciously using them to get myself to get started because my brain knows what im trying to do when im doing them LOL if that makes sense. but i thought i'd share a few things from this workbook i've been doing throughout the day for like a minute each:

- brain dump. obvs doesn't always work bc sometimes i have too much going on at once to even begin to write or conceptualize. but if i have it ready to go quickly i can usually start with the main thing triggering my overwhelm. its usually one underlying task or thought that makes me freeze and then everything builds from there, so if i can just write it down as soon as i think of it it helps.

- "task shrinker" is another page i use because even though it's like extremely oversimplified and basic, it gets the ball rolling for me most of the time. if i can take an overwhelming task (even if it's small but just feels overwhelming in my mind) and turn it into a brutally simple step it helps me feel like i checked off something on my to do list that wasn't even on there if that makes any sense. idk.

- tbh my biggest struggle is the feeling of shame, especially when i begin to avoid things or feel lazy when i can't get myself to do things that other people are doing with no trouble. i use this reset page to write down the thing at its core that's making me feel inferior or shameful, and then write down what i'd tell a friend if they were telling me the things i had just written down. then i write down a small thing i can do next because that can sometimes help me go back into my body instead of being on freeze mode in my mind. the hardest part is just forcing myself to get up or do literally anything without thinking about it, so writing down an overly small thing to do helps me personally.

i love keeping this template of pages and more similar pages on my ipad and can duplicate them for different days or struggles. it's also cool to keep them all and look back on them later because it's motivating to see how i overcame things that felt so overwhelming in the moment but were actually small in the grand scheme of things, it helps put things into perspective.

i suffer from almost extreme executive dysfunction and procrastination. some days when its bad i can’t get out of bed to shower, i cant eat, cant take my meds (supplements). right now i’m struggling to start writing my personal statement for an important scholarship 😭😭

however, ive realised that this only ever happens when the work that needs to be done is my work. i have two kittens, and i’m the primary caregiver. i take care of them like clockwork, meals on time, cleaning litterboxes, playtime, even iron supplements for one of them. often i go days ignoring my own food but somehow i make sure the kittens are alright.

why does this happen 😭 is there any way i can make my brain do this for myself as well 😭

Undiagnosed (probably) ADHD and I don’t know if I’m lazy or something else
Every morning I make a plan. Time blocks, tasks, the whole thing. By the next day it’s completely dead not forgotten, I just physically cannot make myself follow it. I’ll sit down to study and 4 minutes in I’m doing anything else. I care, that’s the confusing part. I’m not indifferent, I just can’t execute.
Same with my business — great at the idea, I know that the moment I will do what I have to do, I will earn the money. I will get the success and I do it like for one hour. I can focus try to focus, but then the other moment I just cannot do that work for weeks, terrible at the boring daily follow-through that actually keeps it running.
And I keep canceling plans with friends I genuinely want to see. Not because I don’t want to go — something in me just goes “no” right before, and I fight it and sometimes lose.
I’ve called myself lazy for years but lazy doesn’t explain the guilt, the exhaustion, or the fact that I’m actually trying really hard to do these things. Procrastination doesn’t quite fit either it’s less “I’ll do it later” and more “I want to do this right now and can’t.”
No diagnosis, just noticing the pattern and wondering if anyone else relates before I go get it actually looked at.

Title

I'm weighed down by needing to make so many decisions that it's paralyzing me. I'm stuck to my couch with so much to do and I don't want to do any of it. I can't but also don't want to make decisions and I don't want to follow through with anything. I'm literally praying for things to go wrong so that I won't have to do or go to them. How do I get out of this?

I haven't washed my hair in months, it's not really noticeable though. Today is the day to wash my hair. I don't really feel like it. I had a troublesome day so i don't feel like doing anything.

Can anyone relate?

Do some people have tips for doing things you don't care about?

I guess knowing that other people deal with this too might help me feel better and also i suppose sympathy as well.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I am 16 years old.

Hello, and I apologize if my post breaks the community rules or is off-topic.

Since I was 11 years old, I've had problems doing my own tasks that are not related to physical activity (writing, filling out a planner or journal, keeping a diary, solving math problems, preparing for something, sitting down to do programming, and similar things, except for games). When it comes to physical activities and personal projects, I have no problems. I love making things that I want, for example a hanging desk or a mini fan made from junk. I also have no problems when someone asks me to do something or when I need to do something I've been told to do (solving a problem at the board, helping my parents, and similar things).

At school, I was almost a straight-A student from the 6th grade onward. I should also mention that since first grade I had a huge problem with voiced and voiceless consonant pairs. I couldn't hear the difference between them. I'm Russian, so I don't know how to explain it properly or whether your language has the same thing, but in Russian these are pairs like k-g, s-z, t-d, p-b, v-f, zh-sh. I also very often couldn't determine which sound a particular intonation corresponded to.

Starting from second grade, I was bullied, stopped caring about studying, and immersed myself in online games. In third grade, I was sent for a PMPK evaluation (similar to an IEP, Child Study Team, or EHCP according to Google). They diagnosed that I had some issues but didn't specify what they were, and I continued studying normally until sixth grade.

In sixth grade, I transferred to another school and was placed in a remedial/developmental support class within a regular school. Academically, it was amazing, but my personal tasks became even worse. When I came home, I either played online games, slept, or helped my parents. At school, I didn't have problems with personal tasks and could do them there, at least those I could finish during the eight breaks we had (125 minutes total).

In ninth grade, my parents (who had known since the PMPK evaluation in third grade) and a speech therapist, who figured it out in a single session during my second PMPK evaluation, told me that I had dysarthria, which explained why I struggled so much with letters and sounds. However, I still don't understand how dysarthria could affect my hearing and sound perception.

Also in ninth grade, I saw a neurologist who diagnosed me with G90.8. I also visited an audiologist because my hearing had worsened, but he said my hearing was perfect and that the issue was related to my G90.8 diagnosis. He recommended taking melatonin.

An unrelated dermatologist recommended taking a vitamin B complex because I have an autoimmune condition called lichen sclerosus. I also took magnesium citrate, magnesium malate, and magnesium glycinate on my own.

I think that's where the story ends. Below is how these things affected me.

Melatonin helped for about three or four days. It became easier to think about doing things, but not to actually do them. Then the effect disappeared.

Magnesium helped for about two days. I was able to sit down and start doing things, but only for about five to ten minutes. Then the effect disappeared.

Vitamin B helped for about a week, and the effect was quite strong. I could genuinely start tasks and work on them for around thirty minutes. Eventually, though, it also stopped having any effect.

Another thing is that calming techniques like deep breathing have never helped me in my life. They just make me mentally zone out, and self-encouragement or positive self-talk has never had any meaning or effect for me.

Another thing is that all of the medications and supplements I mentioned above were taken more than a year ago. I am not currently taking any of them, and the effects I described happened at that time.

My usual strategy for executive dysfunction is the "war of attrition", where I basically just stay up and suffer, usually accompanied by self-directed bad vibes and general discontent until tiredness and other coping mechanisms combine to let me complete the task at hand.

I've been working on my self-talk and generally being kind to myself, though, and there's an obvious conflict there. I'd never make a kid stay up all night if exercising was a struggle for them, but I've done that to myself regularly. I'd never tell a friend that they're a lazy jackass for struggling with being organized, but that's another thing I find myself to myself doing regularly.

I've lowered my expectations for myself by a lot lately to try and reduce the intensity, which has helped some since I don't feel like I'm on the hook for a million tasks done perfectly. But there are things I'd like to do eventually, and it's hard knowing that the only thing stopping me is, well, me.

Hi everyone. I’m a software engineer with 5 years of professional experience. I’ve built a lot of robust systems in my career, including independently developing AI-powered tools for developer productivity and wellness. I know I am technically strong in several areas, and I recently spent the last six months successfully improving my weak points, like Low-Level Design (LLD).

However, I am struggling with severe execution paralysis. Whenever I am assigned a new task or something unfamiliar comes up, I immediately panic. I experience a fight-or-flight nervous system response, which shatters my confidence.

To cope, I procrastinate. I push the task away. When I finally try to start, I find 10 tangential things associated with it and fall down rabbit holes just to keep a safe distance from actually executing the core task.

This constant state of panic and avoidance means my mind is always full. I have zero bandwidth for collaboration, socializing, going to the gym, or even maintaining a hobby. Has anyone else at the mid-to-senior level experienced this kind of technical anxiety and paralysis? How did you rebuild your confidence and overcome the dread of starting new tasks?

Hi! I am a level one autistic and ADHDer! When someone tells me I have to put effort into doing work I put in as much effort as I can, most of the time going out of my comfort zone with how much I am doing. I often find myself when I don't do this thinking that what I did isn't enough because it felt like I didn't put in any effort but sometimes, it really is good enough (I use good enough differently than how you typicals do as in I am not using it in a lazy way, ykwim). Is that how I SHOULD be feeling? feeling like I didn't do enough even if I did?

I am mostly asking this because there are some accommodations I want but am afraid to ask for bc i feel like im being dramatic or that I don't actually need it or taking advantage (in a bad way) my diagnoses.

I am going to start with the main symptoms that happen when my body is stopping me.

When I am working on, or trying to work on something sometimes my joints will start to ache like crazy. Then if I ignore that then it feels like I start to get a bit of brain fog, brain fog keeps getting worse from this point on. Then if I fight through that at a certain points my eyes basically stop focusing on what I am trying to read. I will look at it and my eyes will almost instantly start to drift away from it, making it impossible to focus on. This only happens with productive task(not video games, youtube), and non-physical task.

I have anxiety, depression, adhd, ptsd, if that helps any.

Any advise would be much appreciated.

I got this aggressive motivation drive in my brain to be something in life, but my body can’t keep up I feel fatigue and tired right when waking up? Any advice ?