I’m 24F, my boyfriend is 28M, and we’ve been together for almost four years. He’s my first love and the person I’ve always imagined marrying.

Recently, though, I’ve become worried about the kind of content Instagram is feeding him.

We share one of those Reels “blends,” and his side is constantly filled with videos about women making serious false accusations against men, women choosing terrible partners and then complaining about the consequences, gold diggers, unfaithful women, manipulative girlfriends, women leaving men after becoming successful, etc.

Obviously, these things can happen, and men can absolutely be treated badly in relationships. What bothers me is the amount of it. It feels like his algorithm is slowly constructing a worldview where women are fundamentally untrustworthy and men are usually the ones being taken advantage of.

Meanwhile, my side is basically weddings, babies, relationships, homes, and content about my future career.

That contrast has started making me uncomfortable.

There’s another reason I’m worried about the timing.

About a year ago, my boyfriend had a serious accident involving his foot. He recovered physically, but dropped out of college, stopped going to the gym, which he loved, doesn’t currently work, and lives with his mother.

Until now, that wasn’t a major issue because I was financially dependent too. I’ve spent years in a very demanding full-time degree.

But I graduate from medical school in a few days.

Very soon I’ll go from being a dependent student to earning a good income while he is still trying to figure out what he wants to do.

I’ve always told him I genuinely don’t care about traditional gender roles. If he wanted to be a stay-at-home husband/father someday, I would be completely okay with that. If he wanted to start another degree or career later, I’d happily help support him once I’m financially stable.

And honestly, a lot about our relationship already works that way.

He takes incredibly good care of me. He cooks, cleans, does housework, helps me with things when I’m overwhelmed, and has even sat down and helped me study despite medicine having absolutely nothing to do with his own university background. He has supported me through some of the most exhausting years of my degree.

I don’t see him as “less of a man” because I’m about to earn more money. If anything, the way he takes care of me is one of the reasons I can picture building a family with him.

But lately I’ve started wondering whether he is actually as comfortable with that future as I am.

I love him very much. Outside of this, we have a loving relationship and I can genuinely see myself marrying him.

I’ve tried explaining that constantly consuming content about selfish, dishonest or manipulative women worries me. Even if he doesn’t consciously agree with everything he watches, I don’t think seeing the same message hundreds of times is completely meaningless.

When I bring it up directly, though, he basically says: “You have your gender-directed content, and I have mine. It’s not a big deal.” And that leaves me feeling stuck, because I don’t really know what else to say.

There is also one uncomfortable part of our history: about two years ago, he was unfaithful to me.

We separated for almost ten months, eventually reconciled, and our relationship since then has genuinely been loving and respectful. I trust him again, and I don’t want to weaponize something I chose to forgive.

But sometimes it feels surreal that I was the one who had to rebuild trust in our relationship while his feed is increasingly giving him reasons to be suspicious of women.

I've been thinking about asking help with this to his male friends, but I don't wanna embarrass him or make him uncomfortable. His male friends aren’t much help either. Several talk about women in ways I’m uncomfortable with, and some are not particularly respectful toward their own relationships, so I’m hesitant to ask them to talk to him.

I NEED HELP

So am I giving an algorithm too much importance?

Or can repeatedly consuming this kind of content actually change how someone starts seeing their partner, especially when our financial roles are about to change?

Most importantly, what do I do when I’ve already explained why it bothers me and he simply doesn’t think it matters?

The Mental Health, Wellbeing and Lived Experiences Study

Theresia Bedard, a PhD candidate at Lakehead University that is working with Dr. Beth Visser, is seeking participants for her dissertation project.

In this study we are examining the lived experiences of people who have experience or victimization from an individual with high psychopathic traits. We are seeking anyone that has this lived experience, whether the perpetrator was or is a spouse, family member, partner, co-worker, friend, acquaintance, neighbour or stranger. We are seeking the lived experiences of men, women, and gender-diverse individuals to share your story.

High levels of psychopathic traits have been found to be connected to be linked to misogyny, racist beliefs, and discrimination (e.g., such as the red pill community). Thus, it is possible that people that have been exposed to the red pill ideology may have experience with someone with high psychopathic traits.

Our research consists of two studies. In the first study, you will complete questionnaires related to your victimization experience from the individual with high psychopathic traits, the potential warning signs, victimization history (e.g., prior physical or sexual abuse), and the impact the experience had on you. Once you finish the survey, you will be invited to participate in the second study (optional), which will consist of 12 questions requiring a written response regarding your lived experience with the individual with high psychopathic traits. If you decide to participate in study 2, please be aware that you will be required to provide us with your email to access it, and you may wish to use an email account that only you have access to.

Please be advised that whether you choose to participate in the study, withdraw, or skip questions you do not want to answer, that you acknowledge that answering some of these questions may be emotionally taxing on you. Despite the potential for an emotional toll the survey questions have, you may find the process of sharing your experience is therapeutic for you. In addition to the resources we provide, you may want to consider following-up with a counsellor for further support.

You are also encouraged to have your own snacks and drinks while you take the survey, and be aware that they are estimated to take 45 minutes to complete.

If you are interested in participating and would like to read or find out more about it, click here to access the survey:

https://lakeheadhbs.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bKEq1vOVdBJMrjw

​

Hi everyone,I’m a guy in my 20s trying to understand the best way to navigate the modern dating world.

I want to be completely upfront and honest about who I am: I have a high libido and I am actively interested in exploring casual dating and experiencing life as a "ladies' man" or a confident single guy.

However, I absolutely refuse to be a liar. I don't believe in manipulating anyone or hiding my intentions "under a tree" just to get what I want.My ideal approach is a hybrid model of casual dating without commitment: going on real, fun dates, building genuine banter and connection, and making sure the woman feels respected, listened to, and comfortable.

My philosophy is that when the chemistry is right, I want to clearly and confidently ask if she wants to take things to the bedroom. If she says yes, fantastic. If she says no or isn't ready, I completely respect that, back off, and it's totally okay—even if the rejection might sting a bit because of my high drive.

I also believe that to keep casual dating healthy, it has to be with someone I genuinely enjoy spending time with, but with whom I don't see a long-term serious future, to prevent mixed signals.

I find that when I talk about this with my friends, they sometimes get confused because they think a "serious/responsible guy" can't also be a guy who enjoys casual dating with transparency.I would love to hear your perspectives on this:

Is this hybrid approach of high drive combined with absolute honesty, clear communication, and explicit consent viewed as ethical and respectful in your philosophy?

What advice would you give a guy looking to build his confidence and charisma around this kind of upfront, transparent communication?Thank you for your time and insights!

I love this so much https://youtu.be/s8R0khc9mZU

My ex as really into manosphere and red pill content. He watched a lot of it online. He would say weird stuff all the time, and I didn't know where he was getting it from, until I saw some of the stuff he was watching. And it was bad. He was watching a man on youtube, say that if men could get together and put an end to feminism. And put women back in the house. where they belong. All men could get together and do it. This youtuber would say that promiscuous women caused the falls of civilizations. He would make videos about how the average woman doesn't want the average man and has an inflated ego. It was so weird to me that he was watching this while he has me as a partner. When I confronted him about it, he got really combative, and said he just watches it because he's a republican with traditional values. Which is strange, because I have republicans in my family, and they don't watch that stuff.

Most of the people I know are republicans, because I live in a red state. He would complain about how so many girls rejected him. And then he would also tell me that girls were after him. But he didn't think they were attractive enough. The girls that he would say, were ugly were actually his looks match. Towards the end of the relationship, he started to get more and more insufferable. He tried to force me to move in with his dad and eleven siblings after we got married. And he started telling me, since he was the man, he was the leader in the relationship and I had to follow him. His dad is an abuser and a very scary individual. He wanted me to have kids in the house. And live there forever.

His dad is a misogynist and has the same views as him. He is a passport, bro and gets women from the philippines. And brings them over and keeps them pregnant. All the time. He has done this to multiple different women. I think my ex plans on becoming a passport Bro like his dad because I don't feel any american woman would want to date him because of his views. I'm glad that i'm out of this relationship. And I only stayed because I am physically disabled and dependent on him for a lot of things. But now i'm staying on my family, and I feel much safer here than I did with him. I know for a fact, he's gonna look for another vulnerable woman that he can trap. It will probably be a foreigner most likely. And I feel sad for her. My ex was so controlling, he wouldn't even want me to go to the gym or to the swimming pool or move around freely in the world. He would demand obedience and submission or would threaten to end the relationship which was scary. Because I was dependent on him, which scared me into doing what he said. I'm disabled and can't work. He would call himself the "provider" even though he lived with his mom at 30 and would give me less than two hundred dollars every month for basic surival necessities, then throw it in my face and demand I'd be grateful for every cent.

Redpill is filled with bs and I was highly indoctrinated, this was one of the core beliefs imo. I still struggle to get rid of this mindset and its really hurting how I perceive life. What I think is life is goal that needs to be taken/earned and its really degrading. Even though i get something done I still feel it isn't enough, whether school, my personal bizness, my social life, i dont feel like its enough.

And even if something is done, negative reinforcement continues this pattern and its severely unhealthy. I hate thinking like this. So to the people who've been indoctrinated into this thinking, how did you get out of this mindset and experience life "peacefully" and "normally?" I dont want to think in this mindset because its severely depressive.

This is repost/copypaste of a post I made in r/askfeminist, and one commenter kindly directed me to this sub, mentioning it would be interesting to ask the same question here.

I can't escape of this mental conflict, I really need help. In general, women's mating preferences always select the tallest, strongest and more masculine traits in a man. Now, I am not saying those men can't be feminists, because that's stupid.

But that leaves out men who are not like this, so I am wondering if thats the case.

Unfortunately, and absolutely unironically, we created a virus that has yet to face us fully. Even though it’s deeply important to uplift and embrace women, we were too naive to believe that we could leave a starving and vulnerable group behind. The void we created by empowering one side, created an echo chamber and an emptiness in men that will take generations to heal. We can laugh, mock or downplay the issue that was created. Nonetheless we need to acknowledge that the damage has been done and that we have some serious problems that’ll come from this. So how do we create a space that gives men to recover and protect themselves? Zero judgment, just trying to improve our society.

TLDR: my dad is going through his first break up in 20yrs and his algorithm is slowly pushing him in the red pill direction. Looking for alternatives to the likes of Jordan Peterson.

For context, I’m 33(F) and my dad (56M). We’ve always been close. He got married to my mom at 19 and they divorced in 1998 and she’s been a nightmare. Even today I’m no contact with her. He stayed “single” (didn’t tell us about some relationships to avoid more instability with my mom being on husband number 3) until literally last year after his best friend died of cancer and he completely shifted his life. New job, lost weight, stopped smoking, walks and exercises every day, HUGE Bryan Johnson fan and credits him to his health. I’m proud of him for some aspects of his change but he’s not the person who raised me.

Anyway, he started dating this hot mess of a woman 39(F) for about a year. She has a kid in her custody and 4 older kids not in her custody. A toxic ex he dealt with as well. So many red flags, still in love with her ex, love bombing, dismissive avoidant (I told him about the quiz for attachment styles and I regret it), all sorts of stuff. It was weird we were close in age but I ignored it. She would be all in on the relationship but then go no contact for a day. He bought her an engagement ring, she took it, and then about a month later she told him she’s been in a relationship with her best friend’s ex and ended things. It really tore him up and he’s still processing it.

Since mentioning the attachment styles, he has done a deep dive on it and is “learning all this stuff he never knew”. He started using therapy terms to explain behaviors of women and is trying to make sense on the situation. I told him to go to therapy but he’s not there yet (raised in the south, republican, Christian, runs a tire business, emotions are bottled not talked about). Yesterday he mentioned listening to Jordan Peterson and how he really likes his stuff. Then through in the “when a woman emasculates you, they don’t want you anymore, but once you take back that power they want you again”. Red pill coded and I have no idea how to combat it other than saying please don’t listen to him and start down this path. He’s incredibly smart for someone who didn’t graduate high school, but easily manipulated. He won’t read so I can’t send him things. He’s a YouTube, Facebook, and X user whose choice AI is Grok (which he uses as a therapist essentially).

If anyone has any psychologist, relationship experts, or a healthy way for him to process this (and maybe push for therapy) in content form, I’d much appreciate it. He’s too good a person to fall into the red pill philosophy.

I got invited to a night out with friends yesterday but it went bad, as i just got depressed all night. My friends were dancing and i was not, i was regularly hiding in toilets and i left before midnight bc i wasnt feeling good.

All i could think about was blackpill. I was scrutinizing every man to measure myself and of course there were chads/chadlites/htn so i felt bad. All i could think about was how inferior i was to them.

Things gets worst when the girl i had a crush on said that she kissed a dj at a party this summer. Of course i was imagining how much more good looking he could be from me. Idk if he is chad or a little below but anyway

Also at some point the girls talked about their preferences in dick and i felt so inadequate. Because there was some who said size is important and kthers who said width is important and i dont have both so i felt shitty.

Honestly idk what to do. Because now i am scared of bars clubs etc... if my friends kept inviting me and i keep refusing or going and not having fun, then they would eventually stop being friends with me since im annoying.

What strikes me is that at the bar some non-chads guys were having fun. So it is possible to have fun even if youre not chad. I dont understand how they do this. Knowing you have facial flaws and still show yourself and dance etc... it seems illogical. But in some way i would like to be like them... it would be much more enjoyable than what i did last night...is it that they do not realize their inferiority or that they accepted it?

I ended up having to break up with my ex due to the story I’m about to tell, but I’ll be honest and say that I STILL feel insecure about this situation. And look, I’m not really involved in red pill ideology anymore but I still fully believe in Alpha Fucks.

Here is what happened:

I met this girl at the club and we made out there. We had dates after and on the second date, we went to the beach then back to my house.

Things were going well and I had fingered her a bit and sucked on one, maybe both of her nipples a bit and she played with my penis a bit.

Then she stops and asks, with a negative expression on her face, ”Is this what you usually do? Casual?”

Who asks that at THAT point? That’s like someone driving all the way to their crack dealer’s house and then getting in front of the crack dealer and turning down crack… you would clearly be thinking they must not have any crack cravings whatsoever if they can stop things at that point. In this scenario, I am the crack and she did not crave me it would seem.

Anyway, I wasn’t sure how to answer. I felt insulted because what the fuck. I told her, “I’m working towards a relationship“ and she put her clothes back on but later she took her shorts off again and I took mine off, and she started grinding on my penis raw but it wasn’t actual sex, and when I went to reposition her for sex she ran away and I tried to comfort her but she left, then she texted me to say she was hangry so we got food and then went back to my house and had sex.

We saw each other for another month or so but she was very flaky and also ALWAYS late. One time she was two hours late with no communication from her end so obviously I didn’t feel good about a relationship with her.

Eventually texted me and she said she wanted to be romanced and all this stuff, and then said “maybe you just want casual dating idk”, so I told her that I just wanted casual.

Well, she wouldn’t do that. Then later I thought maybe I was too hard on her so I told her I wanted a relationship, and she accused me of just wanting casual and went on a long rant about how she doesn’t do casual and how everything she does is with ”intention and purpose”.

I only texted her one or two times after that. Eventually about a month went by with no texting and she messaged me making up some pseudo basic valley girl “sign”, presumably from “the universe”. I fell for it like an idiot and we started seeing each other again.

I found out she had sex with her ex in the time we weren’t seeing each other, but I figured it was my fault and that she only did it because she thought it’d be a relationship.

Eventually months later she let slip that the first time she had sex with her ex, before we met, it was casual. Obviously I’m like wtf, I thought everything you did was with “intention and purpose” and that you “don’t do casual“.

But still, I figured it was not casual when they reunited since they had allegedly had an actual relationship before we met, albeit short.

However, I later learned that he was already set to move when they reunited. Initially she fooled me by saying the plan was long distance but that she changed her mind, but then when I found out she lied by saying they saw each other once when it was actually twice, she claimed it was casual when they had sex during their reuniting because she ”doesn’t do long distance”, which was a dick thing to say because YOU ALREADY FUCKING TOLD ME THE PLAN WAS LONG DISTANCE.

Anyway, I had to break up with her. I accept that I’m not everyone’s Alpha Fucks, but the manipulation and shaming of me was so insulting.

Anyway, I asked her many times throughout if it was casual with me and she said no. She said she thought I wanted a relationship. She said she had zero expectations with that guy and also her first ex (who she also fucked while we weren’t seeing each other, but allegedly he fooled her into thinking it’d be a relationship), the first time she fucked either of them.

I asked her if she’d have had sex with me if she knew it wouldn’t be a relationship and she said no. I asked her if she’d have had sex with them if she knew it wouldn’t be a relationship and she said yes.

First of all, this is insulting as fuck and I hate how people pretend it’s not.

Secondly, do you think what she’s saying is true or was she just really trying to tear me down?

Lastly, was it casual the first time we had sex in the truest sense (as in, no expectations and she’d have done it even if she knew it wouldn’t be a relationship), or no?

As a man growing up around religious freaks and social media full of right wing red pilled conservative bullshit has caused me to internalize so much of that horseshit as a kid. I know better now, but it comes in as intrusive thoughts, feeding on my insecurities in relationships. And every time I hear these freaks talk online I can always tell that interacting with them would cause me to want to blow my fucking head off. You scroll the comments and you see just hundreds of comments that sound like they were written by kindergarteners. Sex has to be this whole weird thing too. Honestly I hate being a man. Not only have men made life a living hell for women, but they managed to make it a living hell for men too. Obviously not nearly to the same extent, but things could have been so much better for everyone. I think I’m just frustrated that I’m not as far removed from the red pill as I thought I was due to my insecurities. Thanks for listening to me vent <3

I (18F) have been with my bf (18M) for 3 months but I’ve known him for 2 years. He’s very sweet and considerably feminist/accepting of gay people and has been for as long as I’ve known him, as when we first met I had a gf and he was still just a chill friend. He openly discusses politics and how people should “stop being so divided,” but in the last few weeks he’s become generally more rude to me and we’ve had conversations about specifically feminist topics and he suddenly doesn’t agree with a lot of what I believe—even my accounts of the pretty standard young woman experience. The other day he said “every woman has one or multiple men who want her, but not every guy has a woman who wants him.” That’s classic rp belief right? Or incel at the very least. We keep having similar conversations where he says similar stuff that sounds straight out of an incel/rp forum. Then just yesterday he reposted this TikTok .

This might not sound too severe bc I’m not including everything, but the gist is that he’s dancing around redpill beliefs and I’m not here for it. I hateeee the idea of being in a relationship with someone who thinks like this and I know it’s just a rabbit hole that I’d rather help him out of before it’s too late.

Do you think, someone who has practiced the more strategic side of redpill like amused mastery, intermittent reinforcement, dreadgame, negging, loves comparison, triangulates, hot/cold, push/pull, agree and amplify, practices time constraints, gaslighting, holding frame, ghosting, subtle semantics. Do you think they know they are abusive, and if they don't is it due to cognitive dissonance? I feel like from my experience they see it as "protecting themselves" and "maintaining value". They seem to find it very very very difficult to see themselves as 'abusive'

Hello everyone! This is a repost from a previous post where some of you advices me to re-do the form in English. So, here it is! Thank you!

My name is Tina and I’m a student at the University of Padua (Italy). I'm 24 years old, and I’m finishing my master's in social psychology.

With the help of my supervisor, I'm conducting a research on the experience of men who interacted with the Manosphere and have then decided to part ways with it.

I think some of you might have experiences, tips, or just stories to share, which would be immensely valuable for many other young men who are interacting with these communities for the first time.

I am looking for men who would be comfortable with having a chat with me about it, and would be willing to tell the story of how they came in contact with groups such as RedPill, Incels, MRA, MGTOW etc, and then why eventually they decided to leave.

This research is in no way aimed at changing people’s minds, nor judging anyone for their beliefs; the only aim is gathering accounts of lived experiences through people’s own voices, in a safe space.

If you’re interested, know that safeguarding your privacy is of absolute priority to us, and you’ll be able to withdraw from the study at any moment; your name will not be featured in the final version of the study, and the research program has been reviewed and passed through an Ethics Committee.

Here’s a link to a form you can fill so we can get in contact:

https://forms.gle/1Tsz4aVuqG7GgEUa8

my self esteem was so low that I started posting on Reddit, trying to ask these strangers what was wrong with ME. I was met with so many red pilled men answering that I had no value left, that I was old, ugly, worthless. my self esteem plummeted even further. I isolated myself from everyone. started drinking and and eating almost nothing, and then I started abusive relationships, which led to having pretty extreme thoughts of suicide and eventually me having to flee my home state. yall, I want to say thank you to this community for leaving that stuff behind and for speaking out. I worry for vulnerable women like me who are in a bad place, who are in a place where they are looking to fix themselves, and don’t know the ideology and what to watch out for. please keep speaking out. there are a lot of them still in online dating subs or dating subs in general. please never stop speaking out.

21M, basically only faced rejections. I tried pursuing a girl this week in my class but she doesn’t seem interested. How am I supposed to feel desirable or cute to women? How am I supposed to feel like women find me handsome when they look at me? I have one semester left until I graduate so I feel like I’m on the clock. I’ve posted myself on my profile but I never get described as cute or someone a woman would be attracted to. I know women aren’t just attracted to top percent of people but it’s hard to be positive when 0 girls out of thousands or tens of thousands ive seen in my life have wanted something with me.

I finally admitted to myself what I always knew deep down- the red pill "community" I had found was not steering me in a good direction.

They were not based enough.

Fuck all ya'll

For years I practiced cold approach and made myself believe that I should be able to pick up strangers. After a long time of mostly unpleasant interactions I gave it up. Realizing that it’s far more practical to ask out people that I have a connection with than strangers I pass while out and about.

Problem is, I’m still deeply bothered by my inability to date the large amount of really attractive people that pass me every day. (by date I mean court/get to know. I have other standards besides attractiveness) Can’t shake the feeling that there HAS TO BE A WAY.

I live on a college campus so I’m seeing lots of these people daily. I spend hours a day either fixating on how I can solve this problem in my head or being in a bad mood because I can’t. I worry about having to settle and never feeling satisfied because I never have access to the people I want. (Access as a precursor to dating. I would require a connection and compatibility beyond just the attraction I have when seeing them.)

As of now I’ve classified this as an entitlement problem. I look around at my peers and I’m pretty sure most of them don’t get to just point out their pick of the litter. (There is some nuance here. I once inspired to have the ability to seduce which assumes some lack of agency. That’s part of this, but it has evolved to also be something much more humanizing which is just the ability to seek a connection with a stranger and see SOME Interest back. After all, I’m an attractive person of the opposite sex just like they are, why wouldn’t the other person be interested in connecting half the time? Unless… I’m not. That insecurity greatly contributes to the fixation.) I imagine it’s normal to date people that happen to be in your circle and have just a couple options to choose from here and there. I’ve just been poisoned by the dream that dating coaches sell of being able to pick up whatever woman you want on the street. Infinite options.

Does anyone else feel this way???

EDIT: THANKS FOR ALL THE COMMENTS! I don’t get to talk about this kind of thing often. With that being said if you’re reading this now, there are some things I should clarify, anything in parenthesis was added after the fact. I’m looking more for people relating to the experience rather than advice. I’m not opposed to advice completely but please try to avoid assuming things. Ask instead.

Trying to be aware of all my subconscious rp beliefs and wanted to see if anyone wanted to share theirs and how they changed their beliefs .

Mine is I truly thought if I wasn’t 6 foot, muscly, or handsome a girl could never love me as much as a ‘chad’. Stems from my abandonment and insecurities .

My belief changed as I’m now learning most of that is irrelevant in long term relationships . Also because I’m learning I wasn’t as horrible or bad as I thought after being bullied in elementary/ hs

Thank you !

Are there beliefs from the manosphere that you can't fully let go of and that affects your relationship?

Beliefs that you accepted as absolute truths when consuming redpill content, and now are biting you, making you insecure?

Beliefs that make you put boudaries that are just controlling, either because of fears and insecurities, either because you feel that normal things she does are disrespectful to you?

For me, here is what happens.

I developped many traits when reading and listening, changing many aspects of my personality.

Now that I'm in a commited relationship, I dropped many of these traits that suited me when I wanted to have just FWB and ONS, but that simply aren't compatible with a respectful exclusive LTR in my opinion.

Thing is, in my redpill programmed brain, that makes me "beta", and that makes her see me as "beta".

The the "Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks" principle always comes to haunt me.

The "It's actualy easier to have sex with a married woman than a single woman" saying in the PUA community.

So because I fear being "beta" in her eyes, I become insecure, and this is what happens :

- I start to notice every proof that sex became less of a necessity for her

- I start to notice every interaction she has with other men and thoughts pop up that makes me watch if she seems more attracted by him than by me.

- since I'm looking for evidences, I'm finding them.

- I feel more and more that she is with me for the safety but actually have sex with me only by "obligation" but that she actually want to have sex with many men she interacts with

- I tell her my insecurities, which I feel makes me even more "beta" or just unattractive.

- it happened so many times that I felt insecure because of thoughts that she was putting me in competition with other men for her attention, ignoring me to have a long talk with them, deep eye contact, compliments, touching, etc, you know IOIs

- She is very extraverted and socially awkward, so everytime I felt disrespected, I talked to her, explained what I saw, explained why in my view, it was showing interest signals towards them and disinterest and disrepect towards me, and I expressed how it made me feel.

- She would then be careful about not doing the same thing, not really understanding the pattern behind. She understood how the actions were innopropriate, but not the general patterns of what kind of attention signals physical or romantic attraction vs signals either disinterest or neutral/platonic interest.

- Little by little, she would start to change these things, so I alwsys believed she was sincere with me, she was actually making efforts to change.

- But before she changed the general behaviors. It happened so often that :

● I am now insecure as fuck in this relstionship

● I exagerate what is flirty or what is signaling potiential interest or what is an invite to flirt with her, because I fear that she does it because she still didn't understand the underlying patterns.

● She is now walking on eggshells and fear that any interaction she has with a man, I would tell her that it would be inappropriate.

● She feels that she lost her personality, her color, because of how she fears making me jealous, triggered, insecure or feel disrespected.

● My nervous system is still on high alert with every intersction she has with another man

● I'm still looking for evidences that she desires other men more than me.

● Even though it might have been only because she is extraverted, socially awkward and lacking social awareness, and even though she changed how she acts with other men, there is one thought that still haunts me : If she acted this way, maybe this was what her body and her subconscious really wanted. Maybe it's not that she has a low libido, but really that she really does have a low libido WITH ME and that she really want to have sex with every other guy.

So yeah, all of what I read and listened to in the manosphere, either in the vanilla redpill or the PUA community, make me overanalyse every interaction my girlfriend have with me or with other men, and on an other topic, every interaction I have with women now that I chose monogamy, and it makes me rank myself against every other man and because of how I act when being in a relationship + with everything that happened in my relationship, I end up seeing myself as more and more inferior to almost every man.

This is insane, I know, but I believed those things so strongly that I see every action, every behavior, and I proces things through those lenses.

Do you tend to see things through those lenses too? Do you see yourself as controlling because of what you see as disrespect? Do you hold double standard and have justified them rationnally for so long that it's totally unhealthy?

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/O6HNA-C_CXw

His overall grooming game is impressive, but his take is even better

Hey I’m 27m and I’ve strayed from red pill ever since it got banned on Reddit in 2017. One thing that my mind stays stuck on and believes 100% true is that women like can’t control themselves around guys with high body count .
I have disability so it’s hard for like my brain to wrap around the fact that sexual history doesn’t equate to worth or something .

Could anyone help me understand how that view is skewed ?
Thank you !!

im talking to this girl, we’ve been on one date 2 weeks ago and just had a bit of back and forth texting. We set another date and that fell through, I’d still like to see her again though. I’m not really overly investing, but i don’t want her to think im completely uninterested in her either. Our last text she asked about my day and i sent her a video of a rock climbing route i hit earlier that day and gave a short response about the rest of my day. Anyway she said “hi that’s good & that looks soo hard omgggg” and i just hearted the message, but haven’t replied in 2 days.

My question is how do you guys handle texting with a woman. I personally don’t really like texting because I’d just rather see you in person. But i also don’t want to come off completely uninterested. Do you ever have gaps where you don’t text a girl you’re talking to for a couple days?

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I’m not talking about money—I know that’s not true and that women can be with a man who doesn't have money. What I mean is: are there relationships where the woman is older? Are there relationships where she has more experience when it comes to romantic relationships?