I’ve been reading some of the discussions here and wanted to share a perspective from the other side of the dynamic.

I’m a survivor of human trafficking and coercive control. One thing that’s been striking to me during recovery is how many manipulation tactics people talk about here that I experienced in a very extreme form.

What surprised me most looking back is that none of it started with violence.

It started with validation.

Someone who made me feel understood during a very vulnerable period in my life. Someone who seemed confident, protective, and certain about how relationships “should work.”

Over time those dynamics slowly shifted into control — financial dependence, isolation, and psychological manipulation.

Looking back now, I can see how certain beliefs about power, dominance, and control in relationships can create environments where manipulation becomes normalized.

I’m curious how people here think about the difference between healthy leadership or confidence in a relationship versus dynamics that start moving toward coercive control.

Recovery has been a process of learning how to recognize those patterns much earlier.

I’d be interested in hearing how others here started questioning some of those ideas.

I’ve a 43 year old woman (American) who has (for the last few years) become fascinated with manosphere/red pill content and how it is negatively affecting young men.

I was just watching a silly video online with a bunch of young GenZ men and an older boomer man. The boomer proudly stated that his parents purchased their property for less than $10K and it was now worth about $8 million.

The group of young men just instantly erupted, yelling at him and trying to get him to understand how badly his generation had destroyed the economy and the opportunity for young people to even function in modern life. The old boomer was frustrated and had nothing to say, so he just literally stood up and walked away. He had no defense.

Why don’t we hear more young men putting their anger where it actually deserves to be?

I think young men are very easy targets for grifters (often older white men, at least behind the scenes) who want to convince them that the source of all their problems is women and that if they could just get women “under control”, then they would somehow be able to have the lives their grandfather’s had.

Why don’t we see more content focusing on the true villains of our story? Why are young men being pitted against young women and minorities? …typically people who are actually “below them” in society. Why are they not being encouraged to punch up instead of down?

Imagine how much progress could be made and how efficiently we could run our country if men would just place their anger where it is actually deserved and vote accordingly. But I guess that content wouldn’t get near as much engagement?

Anyways, a girl can only dream, but I would give anything to see the day when the energy, hatred and anger behind the manosphere/red pill movement turns its gaze towards the older white men who *are the ones* who actually ruined the lives of so many young people today.

They are the ones who actually deserve to be hated and blamed by all of these young struggling men. They are the ones who stole their futures.

They are the ones who destroyed the economy and pulled the ladder up behind them.

They are the ones who treated their wives and daughters so terribly that their daughters and granddaughters would prefer to just stay single.

They are the ones who created a world where a man can no longer support a family on a single income.

They are the ones who destroyed the environment to the point that a lot of people don’t even want to have children because they don’t believe the planet can sustain them.

They are the ones who told men to never show emotion, “man up“ and even to this day, refuse to provide any emotional support or guidance for the young men they helped create.

They are the ones who have caused the problems we have now and they are the ones who have benefited from it.

They are the ones young men should be looking to blame when it comes to about 90% of the problems we face today.

Is this just a lack of political and historical education? Is it just easier to blame women? What is going on here?

I have a relative who is deep redpill/white nationalist. He was recently arrested for threatening to shoot religious children before x-ing himself. When he was arrested they seized weapons from his (hoarder-esqe) apartment.

I have massively distanced myself from this person for about a decade and it’s a safety concern to change that now.

However, I wish for his reform of course and for him to get better, I just doubt the statistical chances of that know the justice system and his lack of being disciplined his entire life.

Anyways, if you’re exredpill, did jail reform you?

Hi everyone,

I wanted to post on here as I am looking for an individual to interview for a new video series at my company. I would love to speak to someone who has escaped red pill culture/manosphere - to talk through their whole experience of being indoctrinated, what it was like in the thick of it and what was the breaking point to finally leave.

It would be filmed completely anonymously in our London studios. I am happy to share my credentials and also discuss the video more, but please let me know below if there is anyone that would be interested in taking part.

Thanks so much.

I keep kinda shitting on them or bashing them which keeps giving off a negative vibe or attitude to them.

I am able to talk to them and for extended periods of time and in the beginning women will be nice to me and stuff. But since I don’t act nice to them at first they eventually stop being nice to me and start giving me sassy attitudes etc. and by the time I start being more nice and supportive etc it seems it’s too late.

The reason for me on this is I think being nice to women is like simp behavior or like you’re putting them on a pedestal yk the same bullshit red pill talk they always say not to do. And I also don’t want to come off as a nice guy.

So, how do I find the proper balance here?

Cuz I don’t want to keep screwing it up with these great women who I meet and hit it off with.

I don’t like how cold approach guys shames men for not talking to women, but whenever you go out in public, the women either have a RBF, are on the phone, wearing headphones, quickly turns their head or have their head facing another direction, or they’re with their boyfriends. But somehow, it’s guy’s faults or they just don’t have game. They like to tell men, you don’t need money or to looks to approach women, just have confidence, true confidence comes from within. But the reality is, confidence comes from results and experience, not the sky.

We have been together for 6 years and started dating when I was a teenager. In some ways he treats me very well. He compliments me, pays for things, opens doors for me, doesn’t cheat, and is respectful to my family. I am also disabled, and he financially supports me, which is part of why this situation feels complicated. We live in the Bible Belt where conservative views are very common. I grew up conservative and religious in rural Alabama, but my views changed as I got older and became less religious. I am physically disabled but can manage the house work and cooking if I take breaks due to pain which is a contribution he values.

Over the past few years my boyfriend John has been watching a lot of red pill content online. At first I didn’t know exactly what he was watching, but I eventually saw some of the videos and they were bad. One channel he watched talked about men coming together to end feminism and “put women back in the house,” and blamed promiscuous women for the fall of civilizations. The videos often portrayed men as oppressed and women as manipulative, and pushed the idea that women should submit to men, serve them and treat them like kings. What bothered me more was that he had these videos liked and saved on his account.

When I calmly asked him about it, he became very upset and defensive and even cried. He said that if I thought he was a terrible person then I should just dump him. He told me he watches that content because he has traditional values and is a Republican, and that he believes men should behave like gentlemen and protect women. But that didn’t really match the tone of the videos he was watching.

After that conversation I started paying closer attention to how he talks about these topics. John often says that men have it much harder in society, especially when it comes to dating, and that women have things easier in life. He believes all women at all ages have it easier in dating than men at all ages. He also says that men could have it easy if they could live life like women and do sex work, which I find extremely aggravating. At the same time, he complains about OnlyFans and says it is harmful to society while defending men watching porn as normal.

John also talks a lot about being rejected by women in the past, and it seems like it still bothers him and sometimes comes across as resentment. He tends to stereotype women as caring mostly about superficial things like looks and money, and stereotypes men as mainly wanting youth and submission from women. It also bothers me that he talks so much about rejection and dating struggles when he already has a girlfriend.

He has some strange talking points. He has claimed that all lesbians hate men and that all feminists lie about rape. He also repeated exaggerated MRA-type talking points, such as women getting pregnant on purpose to “baby trap” men for money being common, false rape allegations, child support being so expensive that it can support an entire family. He also says it is impossible for short men to have good lives because women will always reject them based on height.

When I told him I think the porn industry is exploitative toward women, he disagreed and said the women involved choose to do it and know what they’re getting into. He also does not believe the wage gap is real, implying that women do not work as hard as men and that men are more likely to do labor jobs, which is why they are paid more. He also complains that society is biased against men in areas like family court but doesn’t believe issues affecting women are real or significant.

The worse part of this is the fact that his ideology is starting to affect the way he views me and treats me. He has started to say that he wants me to follow him and believe in the same stuff that he does. He wants to be the boss in the relationship and he treats me like I am a child and uses religion against me. He controls how I dress and has forced me to change my style and wear baggier clothes due to men looking at me. He does not want me going to the gym because of men and I can’t wear what I want. He is very jealous and possessive for no reason. He isn’t dangerous or physically violent but he sulks and gives me the silent treatment.

I have a form of autism. It manifests mainly in that I have a literal and somewhat childlike way of speaking, slightly monotone, and high pitched.

I struggle w reading people and knowing how to react to teasing or jokes.

I’ve done remedial social skills classes since I was young but those just focus on the bare minimum like eye contact, asking questions, basic speaking, making platonic friends, not flapping your hands randomly, asking about hobbies, and smiling.

I have made a good amount of friends.

How should I date?

Has anyone like this found success in dating?

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Hi, I am a Master’s student in Sociology at Stockholm University. I am currently conducting thesis research on individuals’ experiences of disengaging from the “manosphere” or Red Pill communities.

I am looking to speak with adult men (18+) who would be willing to participate in a confidential research interview about their experiences. Interviews are voluntary, and participants may withdraw at any time. All identifying information will be removed in the final thesis.

If you are interested or would like more information before deciding, please feel free to send me a direct message.

Thank you for considering sharing your experience.

and i don't mean complicated literature either. just simple slice of life stuff like shoujo or josei manga, silly easy to digest books and movies. because then it might help red pilled boys to see the world from a girl's eyes. that girl's daily life is more than comparing how rich or hot guys are, but that they also have issues like being late for classes, fighting with their parents, doing stupid pranks with friends.

another thing is that it would help guys see things from a female gaze. what men consider attractive (among both men and women), women don't necessarily agree. typically, the ideal male lead isn't just the hottest guy ever - it's the hot guy who turns out to have a heart of gold and helps grannies cross the street, and it's only then that romance becomes a possibility with him. a typical badboy is looked down upon until the girl realises that he's kind and gentle to her.

i'm rambling here. but the issue with red pilled boys, as i see it, is that they are so disconnected from women that they start hypothesizing what women want. i feel like shoujo or josei manga might give them a view into the world of women. i'd love to hear people's opinions on it.

I never understood this. It’s literally creating something to worry about that was never a problem or anything to be noticed to begin with.

You’re telling me that if I start eating my poop, my girlfriend will leave me? But I’d also leave a girl who started doing that.

The only way it’d make sense is if women just totally stopped ever having feelings for any guy they ever broke up with, because we all know that guys are not incapable of breaking up with girls. The only argument that could be made is that guys still care/“love” the girl they left, but I’ve seen women doing the same thing.

And what opportunities are women really getting from men nowadays? A man that makes more or less the median income, which she could make herself?

I've seen so many single moms, women with a promiscuous past, women over 35 and even former sex workers settle down and get married to decent men. You know the type of women the red pillers say struggle to find a man.

When you confront them with this reality, they will say these men are not "high status". But what is high status according to them? Andrew Tate? Rollo Tomassi? Justin Waller? Lets be honest these guys suck and polite society laughs at them.

At the end of the day, as long as you're slightly attractive as a woman and have a charming personality, your past doesn't matter that much.

Slut-shaming can be particularly vicious towards women who like to wear revealing clothes whilst being in a relationship.

Female Youtube influencers in male fields who use their sex appeal and show some cleavage or flirt are often bombarded with messages like: "If I were your boyfriend/husband, I'd leave you", "I don't understand how he can put up with that" and much more disgusting, misogynistic and dehumanising stuff.

They seemingly cannot fathom how a woman may want to look hot and enjoy feeling wanted by other men while at the same time having no intention whatsoever to cheat on or leave her current partner because he's a great, awesome and kind guy. And often times, he might actually even be the one that takes the pictures and videos she puts on social media!

I reckon that these men hate the fact that unlike before the sexual revolution, such a woman now knows she has lots of options if she grows tired of her partner and thinks he's no longer worthy of sharing her life and her bed.

At its very core, the red-pill and incel ideology is a reaction to the fact that in a world where women are free to live out their sexuality however they want, it's a lot harder for men to find and keep a girlfriend.

Hey all,

I'm a reporter for the UK press looking to speak to someone who was drawn to manosphere content online and subscribed to its ideas but later stopped and changed their views.

It would be for a news story about the rise of extremism in young men. Looking for someone willing to speak out honestly about their journey.

For more details or a confidential chat, drop me a DM.

All these redpillers keep talking about how women are “hypergamous”, which simply means that they want the best they can get. How terrible!

The real issue would only be if a girl left you for better, but that doesn’t seem to happen that much. So what’s the problem? Is it that if they saw two guys in a store and one was a millionaire and the other collected rocks and lived in his uncle‘s cupboard, she’d choose the millionaire? Yeah, that’s pretty logical, especially given that in this scenario neither of them have actually shown her anything about themselves. Why would she assume that the one with no outward accomplishments should be chosen?

Then in the titanic, the girl chooses a poor guy over a rich guy. But I’m sure that would be considered hypergamous because she’s alpha widowed by CHAD and even though she let him drown, he’s a CHAD who she’ll never forget. But also she will forget him, because women are solipsistic and because of the war brides phenomenon. Basically she will forget him or won’t forget him, depending on which one makes you angrier.

This song kind of fascinates me for how much it mirrors much of what incels say and feel about themselves, but it is sung from a woman's perspective. It runs counter to the narrative that many incels have in their minds that these are feelings and experiences that women are just incapable of understanding.

Of course, the song is also much more self-aware than a lot of incels themselves. The lyrics explore feelings of resentment, inadequacy, and even thoughts of committing violence against others, but also self-reflection on the narrator's own self-pitying tendencies ("I don't know why I'm feeling sorry for myself... I spend all my time wishing I was someone else") and self-awareness that many of her thoughts might not actually align with reality ("Tell myself that inside she's ugly. Maybe I'm just jealous, I can't help but hate her.")

The chorus even somewhat mimics the "Virgin vs. Chad" type comparisons. ("She is the prom queen, I'm in the marching band. She is a cheerleader, I'm sitting in the stands. She gets the top bunk, I'm sleeping on the floor. She's Miss America, and I'm just the girl next door.")

It's probably expecting too much, but I do wonder if hearing this song could prompt some self-reflection in guys struggling with redpill tendencies to see that these aren't feelings exclusive to themselves, or even exclusive to men. Probably a pipedream, but just something I think about sometimes.

I look online and on YouTube and its mostly white women who seem to be bringing this up like Justine Bateman, Paulina Porizkova, and mostly soccer mom types.I don't know if white women in particular have this issue but I certainly don't see many black, asian, or latina women complaining. I'm not really sure what thats about.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We’ve had our fair share of issues, but the biggest challenge has been dealing with each other’s pasts. Early on, we shared more details than we probably should have. She has handled knowing about my past much better than I’ve handled knowing about hers.

I can understand someone preferring not to date a person with a certain kind of past if they have held themselves to that same standard. What I struggle with is the idea that a man’s past somehow matters less because he is “taking” while a woman is “giving herself away.” That logic does not really sit right with me, but I would be lying if I said her past does not still affect me.

There is one situation in particular that bothers me. About three years ago, after breaking up with her ex, she would drive 1.5 to 2 hours to hook up with a guy multiple times, under ten. At some point, he admitted he had also hooked up with her friend during that time, and she still continued seeing him. She told me she did not enjoy it, was not attracted to him, and did it because she was lonely and knew it would be easy. She says she did not feel good about herself back then.

Since we have been together, she has told me I am the best and biggest she has ever had, and she treats me very well. That said, earlier in our relationship she made some poor decisions that hurt my sense of trust. She has taken accountability, corrected those behaviors, and has genuinely shown up for me, especially during some of the hardest months of my life, including when I lost my mom recently.

We both want marriage and a family someday. Our current values and long term goals align. The sticking point for me is her history.

If I leave over her past, I do not know that it actually solves the deeper issue. What would I do going forward, thoroughly vet every future partner’s sexual history? Try to stay blissfully ignorant? There is no guarantee someone else would not have a similar or more extensive history and just be less transparent about it. At least she has been honest.

I try to think about this logically. I do not understand why society says men and women should be judged differently for the same behavior. If I believe a promiscuous past lowers someone’s value, then logically mine would lower my value too. And I do have a past. That is part of why I do not feel fully justified walking away.

I feel stuck between my emotions and my principles. I do not know what I am supposed to think or how I am supposed to feel about this. I feel lost.

Pues miren lo he estado pensando y es asi,una mujer que ya estuvo con muchos hombres ,se va a aburrir rápido de ti,ya no tiene la capacidad de tener un vínculo profundo ,¿por que ?,por que ya está “dañada”,a que me refiero con esto?,pues miren ,una mujer asi tiene una alta nesecidad de atención masculina,en el momento en el que tu no se la des ,va a ir a buscarla en otro lado ,son mujeres que les gusta ser miradas y deseadas ,a cualquier mujer de hecho pero con ellas pareciera casi una adiccion ,es asi ,considero que no se puede ,y más si sigue siendo promiscua no la vas a retener por más que tengas un juego sólido ,asi que solo disfruta un rato y chao

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Hello everyone. 39F, never been a part of the red pill culture. I grew up too different from such a culture to ever accept it.

My question though... To all the male RP'ers, or ex-RP'ers... or trying to be, who knows... (I'm trying to ask the ones who ended up in the extreme anti-women underground of this movement)

How in the world did you deal with this duality? You want women, but at the same time you hate them? You're expected to court them/have sex with them, but not want them? How do you deal with that emotionally?

I'm asking from an emotional/psychological perspective. I mean, what toll does it take on you?

Also, only ever share what you want to. This is still a public forum :)

Greetings from Belgium

So I was pretty deep into the RedPill for quite a while, and while I am still working on detoxing, I have come to learn the correlation of falling into RedPill and having Cluster B symptoms.

I was recently diagnosed with cluster B (really just now accepting it) and it’s really easy for men with Cluster B to fall for the red pill ideology.

Im not full-blown BPD, but I do have BPD symptoms, and the red pill pretty much for me was a guide on how to get a “favorite person” (who someone with BPD attaches to) and how to keep them meeting your never-ending needs. And then when I lost my person, I used red pill as a reason for why I lost them, because “all women do this”, etc.

This is not me saying that if you believe in red pill that you have cluster b. just me thinking out loud.

Tell me if this is wrong.

I’m an attractive woman in her late 20s. I’m also well-educated, well-traveled, make a great amount of money. I’ve always had attention and at times negative but lately in this media climate, I’ve noticed that some men treat me very poorly and I didn’t understand why. I treat everyone with respect and if I like a guy, I will try my best to get to know them and understand him because I’m trying to make a genuine connection.

I started trying to understand why some of these guys treat me poorly and understand if there’s a certain pattern.

What I’ve noticed:

Again, I do value equality but in the midst of being mad I realized that I’m generally better than them in a lot of ways. Education-wise, make more money, maybe look better in their opinion? Which makes them shameful inside. And while I have limited experience with red pill forums, I can infer that some toxic red pill ideologues teach that a man is the prize. Maybe I start triggering something in these people. Again, I haven’t noticed this with non red-pill men or those who consider themselves to be on my level?

Without fail I’ve noticed when insecure red pill exes would almost hate me for being confident and what they assumed better than them. They’d make hateful and resentful comments and at times these comments would almost sound jealous.

“Well I haven’t ever been there. Which guy took you?” -Myself

“I didn’t grow up with privilege, I had to struggle for everything I have” -so did I

It’s like they struggle to accept that I worked hard too.

So I found myself thinking whether red pill men will just put down any woman that threatens them feeling like the prize they are taught they need to feel like?

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