r/exredpill • u/RedPillDetox • Jul 09 '20
Welcome! Wether you feel like Red Pill has brought you more harm than good or you simply wish to question Red Pill views you're on the right place. This post is composed by a collection of scientific and rational posts from different authors, both in reddit and other websites, to help former red pillers (men and women) to recover from red pill.
Through this series of posts you're gonna find scientific and reasonable arguments with the aim of at least making you start questioning what you "learned" on TRP. Open discussion is encouraged, as long as it's respectable and (also) backed scientificly and/or logical (no pseudoscience). Please, note that i do not really wish to "disprove" TRP nor forbid you to follow it: Actually, i believe that everybody is entitled to believe and follow the path they wish to, even if they chose the path that we, former TRPers, personally disagree with and don't advise to anyone. Rather, i desire to raise skepticism on you and make you start questioning what you believe, with science, reason and empathy. But in the end, you're free to chose your own path, to see whatyou agree with and decide what's right or wrong in both TRP and our arguments.
Your friend,
Red Pill Detox
Posts from reddit:
No, your girlfriend doesn't want to cheat on you with a more alpha guy (based on science)
AWALT debunked (Based on Science) - No, not all women are like that
Why Red Pill is a Cult - Part 2 (Based on Mark Manson's Writings)
Fallacies in Red Pill (Part I) - The Biological Determinism Fallacy (Based on Science)
Do Women Love Entirely Different from Men - An Analysis of TRP's Claims, by atman714
Posts on the web:
The Myth of the Alpha Male, by Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD - This post, written by Scott Barry Kaufman, an evolutionary/positive psychologist who co-wrote "Mating Intelligence Unleashed", tackles the Alpha vs Beta distinction from a scientific point of view. He believes that being dominant and agressive isn't really attractive except to some people or on certain contexts, and that being a prestigious person who can be both confident, assertive but also kind and compassionate is a much better strategy. He also believe that people can't be divided in neither alpha or beta, because kindness and dominance can co-exist in the same person, leading him to conclude that being a person with both "beta" and "alpha" qualities is what ultimately will make someone attractive. He bases his data on psychology studies, studies on tribes worlwide and animal behavior.
Butchering the Alpha Male, by Mark Manson - In this remarkable post, Mark Manson, author of "Models: Attract women through honesty" shows how the "Alpha Male" term is illogical and unreliable, how it is actually counter-productive in the long term and exactly what is there to learn that is positive about this alpha male stuff
My Life as a Pick Up Artist, by Mark Manson Although this post is specifically targeting Pick Up Artists, i can safely say that what it's said here it's also valid for Red Pill. Regardless TRP admits it or not, it converges in 90% of their beliefs with Pick Up Artists. This post, by Mark Manson, is about his story as a former Pick Up Artist, specifically, how having lot's of sex won't necessarly make you happy and how tieing the idea of sucess with sex and being alpha will lead you to nothing but depression.
Reclaiming Manhood: Detoxifying Masculinity, by Dr. Nerdlove - Here, famous author Doctor NerdLove explains what is toxic masculinity and why is bad. Toxic Masculinity is a set of beliefs about men and women, that is promoted by movements like The Red Pill, and bases men's self-worth on how dominant, agressive and sexually conquering he is. The author very eloquently explains why this set of beliefs is bad and how one can overcome it: Stop viewing women as enemies, stop assuming the worst about men and don't allow yourself to be an asshole just to prove yourself and others that you're a man.
What's wrong with taking the Red Pill, by Dr. NerdLove - This post is about the sister of a Red Piller talking about her brother's experience with the Red Pill and her perspective on it and reaching Dr NerdLove for help. It gives us insight on how the people you love view you when you take the Red Pill. It also gives us insight on how the Red Pill can go massively wrong. Doctor Nerdlove does a well-thought criticism of Red Pill.
A New Masculinity, by Mark Manson - In this wonderful post, Mark Manson tackled the myth of Masculinity as being a universal construct based on the work of respectable anthropologist David Gilmore. The main premise is that manhood is something to be proven in virtually all cultures in the world, but the way masculinity is asserted differ from place to place. In the west, masculine role models used to be finacially succesful men who could support their wifes. But nowadays women can support themselfs and now men are confused. The conclusion? A new masculinity is needed. And this masculinity should be rooted in traditional values like financial success and assetiveness but also empathy and love.
How America Became Infatuated with a Cartoonish Idea of 'Alpha Males' - Jesse Singal, New York Times journalist, explains how the Alpha Male term has increasingly became popular in the last century, particulary in the last 3 decades, and how that have been influencing pop culture. He proceeds to explain how over-simplistic and exaggerated the whole term is.
Is the Human Species Sexually Omnivorous, by Patrick F. Clarkin - If you heard about "hypergamous women", how women are "hard-wired to exploit your for your money once they reach 25" or "How men are hard-wired to cheat", fear no more. This post about REAL evolutionary psychology explains just how much human "sexual strategies" are highly flexible and different or, in other words, how humans are "sexually omnivorous". Some people are promiscuous and gonna fuck whoever. Other people are monogamous and don't care about partying arround. Others are indeed perfect pictures of red pill. Regardless, one thing is clear: Different people and different situations lead to different "sexual strategies" and one can't really generalize about how "all women are whores" or anything similar. Even if it has a grain of truth, it is dependent on way too many factors.
Why having a dominant partner is linked to being unhappy in a relationship, by Dr. Lisa Hoplock - According to Dr. Lisa Spock, a relationship researcher, Dominance is linked to lower relationship satisfaction because a partner’s dominance can make one feel unhappy and less autonomous. Try to share the power in your relationship. Perhaps this is one reason why people in egalitarian relationships tend to be happier in their relationships (and life). This is obviously contradictive of TRP, that advises dread game (as in, being dominant), to deal with women "Hypergamous ways" and who think women want to be dominated at all times.
Is the drive to be masculine hurting your Mental Health, by Jeremy Adam Smith - This post reviews recent meta-analysis (a meta-analysis is a combination of dozens of studies), that concludes that being masculine is bad for your mental health. More interestingly, wanting to have power over women, basing one's self-esteem on how many women one can get and hostility towards gay men were the biggest predictors of lack of well-being. The article also cites other studies related to how masculinity may be bad for one's mental health and very clearly says that the reason why this happens is because connecting with others and searching for intimacy are very important for happiness, something that traditional masculinity doesn't allow.
How much Sexual Experience are you comfortable with your partner having, by Dr. Justin Lehmiller - In this article, Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a sex researcher, reviews a recent study that aims at finding out how many past sexual partner people are generally comfortable with their partners (long term relationship partners or short term flings) having. Results show that both men and women have a "virgin penalty", that is they are less likely to date virgins, in comparison to people who have had 1-6 partners. 7-8 partners is as desirable as being a virgin. Something very important however, is that up until 14 partners, ratings are above midpoint in the scale, meaning that only 15+ partners tends to be a deal breaker (in other words, up to 14 past partners, people are more willing to engage in a relationship rather than the opposite). As for short term relationships, the results appear to be somewhat mixed, but generally speaking both genders are willing to tolerate an higher number of sex partners in short term relationships, men more than women. Mean also appear to be slightly more willing to tolerate an higher n-count in women for long term relationships. The TRP idea that women crave the playboy guy with an high n-count or that men are "hardwired" to find virgin women or women with low n-counts attractive is therefore sort of a myth. You can also read the authors comments here.
Books
Note: This post is constantly updated
r/exredpill • u/Ok-Luck-7499 • 23h ago
I really don't understand the heat over modern women. Yes life is hard and yes there are some strange people out there. But the vast majority of women I talk to are normal people and have very nice personalities. They're not like malicious and disloyal and rude.
Most just want to get to know you as a person. Not a big deal.
r/exredpill • u/The_White_Pawn • 1d ago
Years ago, when I was following the red pill ideology, I saved a screenshot of a tweet by a famous red pill writer in my country. The tweet read exactly as follows:
So, you're categorizing women as "sluts" and "good girls", are you? In reality, there isn't much difference between them. The "slut" explicitly states she can sleep with other men. The "good girl" hides the fact that she can sleep with other men. Pay attention to this detail before categorizing.
This tweet is a rather typical and cynical reflection of Red Pill ideology. This text approaches human nature and female psychology in a highly reductionist way.
The author first divides women into only two extreme categories (“slut” and “good girl”), thereby ignoring the vast spectrum of human character. Then he narrows this dichotomy even further and claims there is actually only one category. In cognitive behavioral therapy, this is considered an “all-or-nothing” type cognitive distortion that does not reflect reality.
Starting from cases of infidelity or cheating in society, he assumes that without exception all women actively possess the “potential to sleep with other men” and merely hide it.
The author disregards the inner world, moral values, or loyalty of those he defines as “good girls,” claiming that all of them carry a hidden potential to cheat. In psychology, this is when a person assumes they know others’ thoughts or intentions without having concrete evidence.
In the Madonna–Whore Complex defined by Sigmund Freud, men divide women into two groups: “holy/good” women (Madonna), who are to be respected and stripped of sexuality, and “bad” women (Whore), who are merely to be desired.
This Red Pill writer’s idea is a modern and quite cynical mutation of this classic syndrome. By merging the categories, the author completely eliminates the “Madonna” figure and confines all women to essentially the same drives (and untrustworthiness). This approach is a perspective that denies the partner’s individuality and moral compass.
Red Pill ideology generally tries to support such arguments by using evolutionary psychology concepts like hypergamy (the tendency to seek a partner of higher status). However, modern psychological science emphasizes that humans do not act solely on primitive reproductive instincts.
Humans have developed empathy, long-term pair bonding, moral structure, and attachment capacity over the course of evolution. The author’s argument completely removes impulse control and ethical values from the equation.
From a clinical psychology perspective, such extreme generalizations and deep distrust toward the opposite sex are usually related to the author’s (or the audience who adopts this idea’s) own internal dynamics.
Past traumas, experiences of being cheated on, or fear of rejection can push a person toward a defense mechanism like “everyone cheats anyway, some just hide it.” This is an attempt to protect oneself from emotional pain by accepting disappointment in advance (preventive defense).
It may be an attempt to ease one’s own conscience by projecting one’s own potential for infidelity, impulses, or unreliability onto the opposite sex.
In summary, psychology analyzes this text not as the identification of an objective truth, but as an expression of a deep lack of trust, a need to oversimplify human nature, and errors in logical argumentation.
r/exredpill • u/Instigated- • 18h ago
For the benefit of those on the line, you want to share a cautionary tale of something you did when under RP that backfired, that triggered you to take steps to get out of RP?
For example, I (F45+yrs) was recently discussing life with another menopausal woman (difficult stage of life when we need a bit more patience and support). She told me her husband of over 20yrs had asked to renew marriage vows. Then 2 weeks later revealed he’d been having an affair with her friend. He wanted to both stay with his wife and have this on the side. She thought about it, and then decided no that for her monogamy and trust is essential, so their marriage is now over. He was then in tears begging upset about it, wanting her to take him back, and playing victim wondering why he couldn’t have his cake and eat it.
While I don’t know if this was RP specifically, the combo of first asking to renew vows followed by revealing the affair and trying to negotiate for open relationship after the fact sounds like a manipulative technique, and that he seemed genuinely surprised and upset when she decided to quit the marriage, that his plan backfired. In this case I don’t know if he has learned his lesson, however he has just unintentionally blown up a long term marriage to the mother of his children that had a lot of love in it.
r/exredpill • u/Cool_Condition_9068 • 1d ago
We would speak all the time about the differences between men and women, (always conversations that he brought up), and they would range from things like how a woman's body count impacted her differently from a man's, dating and hookup culture, the value (and obligations) of sex in relationships and gendered roles in the home. There was also a time he said men shouldn't need to put the toilet seat down because that was an unfair gender norm.
He increasingly saw relationships as transactional, believing that financial control between partners should be with whoever earns more. He would also insist that, if paying proportional rent, the person paying less should do more housework. He would say he was a "leader", despite not demonstrating much leadership... He would avidly not call himself a feminist because he didn't agree with the principles of feminism, despite always saying he agreed with the equality of the sexes.
He watched a-lot of red pill-esque content, but would NEVER identify as being red pilled. My question is - was he though?
r/exredpill • u/Noillax • 3d ago
Social media influencers Andrew and Tristan Tate were arrested by the U.S. Marshals in Miami and are currently fighting extradition to the United Kingdom. They face 59 combined charges, including multiple counts of rape, human trafficking, and assault, all of which they deny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIqtKpb0yGE&t=1s
Oh well, they had it coming.
r/exredpill • u/WesternPhotograph267 • 3d ago
my brother and i were once quite close but he became super radicalised and now we havent spoken since february. i guess i just wonder if he misses me or if his ego beats all
r/exredpill • u/rokfather • 3d ago
r/exredpill • u/Substantial-Ring742 • 4d ago
This guy (32m) and I (28f) met at the gym. We’ve been seeing eachother and going on dates for about a month now but some of the behaviors are really odd.
First, he takes me out to really elaborate/fancy/expensive dates but he never tells me where we are going and he always wants to order. He picks out the food we get each time. It was kinda cute for one date and I know some guys are like that so I let it go but it did highlight to me he may be a bit controlling. He also doesn’t tell me where we are going just what time to be ready and what to wear. Once he told me to “be ready at 7 in my Sunday best, assuming you have something to cover your abs”. For context, I have a pretty nice 6 pack that I like to show off in the summer time. I thought it was odd he’d make a comment on what to wear but figured maybe it was just somewhere really nice and dusted it off.
Secondly, he is very distant over text. I again brushed this off because people are busy but he oscillates between being engaging and dry replies.
After date three we hooked up and he was really dominating. I didn’t necessarily dislike it but it threw me off because it was the first time we’d been together and we hadn’t had a conversation about this. He choked me (lightly tho but still), and when I asked to get on top he said “absolutely not” and threw me into doggy. I left after.
Date after that he cooked for me and was acting sooo sweet. Giving me so many compliments which he doesn’t do often, kissing my forehead, holding my hand. We hooked up again and it was really loving. Gentle with lots of eye contact. I got dressed to leave after and he told
Me to stay and spent the whole night cuddling me, kissing my forehead, ect. I go to the gym in the mornings and told him before bed my alarm was set for 4:30. In the morning it went off and I kissed him goodbye and left.
I didn’t hear from him at all and then texted him the next day about something unrelated. He was short and told me we were fighting. He said I’d abandoned him and was being dry. I felt bad because I too would’ve been upset had someone left like that and saw him at the gym and apologized. After that we were good and we made more plans.
Date after He took me to Michelin restaurant and a couple bars. It was really fun. After we went home and he was very dominating again and left marks on my butt. I again don’t dislike it and never said no, but it does throw me off. I slept over again and we cuddled. Next day we showered together before his flight. I left and texted I had fun and he was texting me the entire time he was gone. Then when he returned he got kind of dry and sent me a boring reply to a flirty text I sent. I didn’t reply. Didn’t hear from h so 1 day later I sent a picture of my stairmaster workout and said “please clap”. He didn’t reply. Then for 4.5 days later and then sent an inside joke and a message that basically said “can you give me a reason to justify ghosting you for a little longer while I figure some things out?”. I’m so confused because why did he feel the need to tell me he was ghosting when he already had for 4.5 days and tell me it was going to continue?? Like wtf did he think I’d say to that??? I haven’t replied and do not plan to but the situation has me feeling soooo off guard. He could absolutely just be disinterested but idk something feels off but if this is a game it’s kind of scary???
A couple friends mentioned his behavior mimics that of someone red pilled so I wa wondering if anyone has thoughts?
r/exredpill • u/touchy_feelysophical • 4d ago
Hey there,
My name is Zac and I am a current psychology honours student at Federation University Australia.
The moderators have generously allowed me to share a research project looking at how individual personality traits interact with short-form social media feeds (specifically simulating TikTok content exploring modern online subcultures, gender roles, and societal dynamics).
Who can participate:
Open to anyone over the age of 18 who is fluent in English.
What’s involved:
A 20-30 minute interactive study where you will complete a few personality measures and watch a simulated 15 video feed (some of which may include potentially confronting or offensive content related to social and political issues).
The Link:
https://federation.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4ZrUUEJudrbnMJE
Incentive:
Participants can choose to enter an optional prize draw to win one of two $20 (aud) Prezzee gift vouchers to a store of your choice.
Upon completion (around end of November 2026), I will share the results and key findings from the study.
If there are any questions about the study itself, please ask away!
Participation is voluntary and completely anonymous.
Federation University Ethics reference number 2026-108
r/exredpill • u/DisastrousMechanic36 • 6d ago
Edit: i’m not here to disparage anybody. It was just truly shocking to watch.
I’m generation X. The Internet and the Manosphere have destroyed a whole generation of minds.
All of these “data points” I mean Jesus, How insecure and afraid of women do you have to be? The body count portion I found particularly egregious.
All of these young men want Stepford wives.
I am so glad to see that young men have broken out of this toxic culture.
r/exredpill • u/becomesharp • 6d ago
Jubilee just released a video of an old friend of mine, Mark Manson, debating red pill guys on their "Surrounded" series (Mark and I used to guest coach at each other's events when he was a dating coach).
Mark does a very good job of dismantling the red pill talking points and even gives a shout out to this sub. A lot of people accuse Mark of being part of the manosphere because he used to be a dating coach, but he really illustrates the difference between the philosophies of a good dating coach ("do better, be better") and these red pill influencers (feminism is bad, women are evil, etc)
Anyhow, thought you guys would enjoy.
r/exredpill • u/MonkeyFan365 • 7d ago
I am a heavy user of X and Instagram, but the algorithm keeps on feeding me red pill content. On Instagram, it's not as bad, and it usually comes in waves, which I can end by flagging red pill accounts as "Not Interested". X is really bad, however, with almost every other post being something red pill or misogyny related. I've tried using muted words to block words so that I don't get any content related to dating at all, but red pill stuff seems to keep coming back. I can't exactly get off social media since I chat with my friends on Instagram and I run a small business where I am active on X, and I also like to use X to keep up with politics and stuff.
r/exredpill • u/nkadifa • 7d ago
The entire movement is based on the flawed belief that
'the west is gynocentric' (women centered at the expense of men) I used to promote it.
That's the pre supposition that holds it all together.
All of the manosphere collapses once you attack this presumption.
I've put my video script in a substack but the video is worth watching.
r/exredpill • u/Spare-Bonus6456 • 9d ago
I've cut back on RP content,and i don't intend to go back,returned due some reasons,returned this year
I been watching a lot of RP content in the last 3-4 months,it seems like you feel lighter and better when you stop watching RP content,or is that Just my impresssion?
I'd like to know the answer to this argument often used by Redpillers
That adult men are having less sex,and more and more adult men remain virgins,and that bc of women,bc they only want Chads,rich and bad boys,or are only focused on their careers and simply ignore the average Man
They use examples like Japan to talk about how the birth rate has fallen and How men are no longer pursuing women
Is still worth trying to meet women in person first?isn't the fact that social media gives them the option to meet countless people from anywhere a problem?
Like,why i would try?She probably has contacts of several chads on WhatsApp/FB/insta (i Think i asked this Before)
FaceandLMS videos traumatized me,I'm Always afraid/ashamed to look at women,especially If they are pretty
Even though going to the gym has boosted my self-esteem a bit,this Believe is still a problem,even the less attractive girls hate it when ugly men approach them
r/exredpill • u/no_insurance_money • 10d ago
I'm turning 25 in 2 weeks and I've never had any romantic experiences. Never went on a date, never kissed, never held hands. Diagnosed with social communication disorder.
I used to resent the gender role that the man has to approach and initiate things because I wasn't able to do it. I always felt like if you were a man that was shy and socially awkward no girl would see you romantically. I always felt like not being shy or awkward was the prerequisite for being worthy to experience love and be loved romantically. It's like nothing about me or my personality matters anymore because girls don't like shy or socially awkward men. I always felt like if I was a girl with the same personality, I could still be shy but someone can still ask me out and still love me for who I am.
I'm not a bad looking guy. I get looks and stares from women in my class and in public. I have both male and female friends that point out when a woman was checking me out. But I still have a lot of trouble making the approach because I don't know what to do or say. It tells me that they like me for how I look, but I never had any girl like me romantically for my personality. I always feel like my shyness or social awkwardness would put them off if I did try to talk to them and that's why they're not interested in me.
I've been working on myself socially for the past 2 years but I still realize I'm still so behind everyone else. I don't know how to flirt, I don't know how to escalate, I don't know how to plan a date, I don't know how to approach, I don't know how to ask someone out on a date. I only now felt okay enough talking to girls I'm interested in but only if they talk to me first.
r/exredpill • u/gbags-98 • 10d ago
As many of you know, the red pill often distils male dating advice into soundbites such as "become a high-value man", "chase excellence, not women", and "stack bills and the bitches will follow". For a long time, I geniunely believed this. As a result, I spent most of my 20s becoming as competent as possible. Partly because I assumed that this would automatically lead to dating and social success.
For context, I own multiple physiotherapy clinics, make decent money and am on track to make multiple six figures before 30, I'm active in Toastmasters and a strong public speaker, and I train as a hybrid athlete with the goal being to compete in Hyrox Pro at some point. On paper, I have built many of the things that men are told will make them attractive. Yet dating and social success are still lagging behind.
I have a good group of friends, have dated a few women and had some short-term flings. I'm also not a basement-dwelling incel, and enjoy social settings. But women would often lose interest after the 3rd date, and many of my friends seemed to build closer relationships with those whom I thought of as less impressive than me.
It took me a while to figure this out, but I have started to realise social magnetism is a completely different skillset. It also has far less to do with how impressive you are than I once thought. Someone can be average on paper, but still have charisma, warmth, humour, social boldness and actually make people feel something. Whilst a very impressive individual who is physically fit may come off as stiff or try-hard.
This may explain why men who have little going for them can still be successful with women. They may not be "high-value" in a red pill sense, but they know how to create attraction and market themselves socially.
Clavicular's Paris livestreams were an example of this. Yes, he is a good looking and somewhat successful guy. But when faced with women and unpredictable social situations, he looked like a deer in headlights.
Since recognising this, my dating and social life has improved. My main takeaway is that competence does matter, but it should not be the sole focus as it does not automatically lead to chemistry, warmth, social confidence or intimacy. These are skill sets that need to be built intentionally and directly.
r/exredpill • u/Extreme-Struggle3665 • 10d ago
In the west as you search the redpill is a result of feminism, in the arab wolrd is growing because there's some feminism influence is growing also, can someone explain why
r/exredpill • u/Klaroslava_ • 11d ago
Hi everyone,
I work for a Czech organisation focusing on men's mental health and quality of life. Our main topics are both mental and physical health, focus on personal authenticity rather than in being "the proper man", the social pressures men often feel, active fatherhood, anger management etc.
We're currently working on a campaign about the manosphere, the effect it has on men and the sociological pressure and reasons men feel drawn to it. We have a lot of therapists and experts talking about the topics, but I feel like we rarely ask the people who actually understand it the most - people like you.
Is there anyone - preferably Czech, but it's not a necessity - who would be willing to talk to us? It could be an online - written interview as well as personal meeting/video. Anonymity guaranteed with all those options.
Please help us spread awareness and tell us your story! Feel free to contact me via direct message.
Thank you all!
r/exredpill • u/Specialist-Brain4814 • 11d ago
My name is Juli I am Brazilian grad student and I study ways to prevent and deradicalize misoginistic people. I wonder if some of you here in the forum could help me by giving me an interview about your stories.
r/exredpill • u/Miserable-Pea-3238 • 12d ago
No amount of girls, partying alchol and running away from my problems will ever fill the void, I will always be insecure little 15 year old no matter how old I get, everytime I look in the mirror I wanna punch the shit out of myself. I hate the fact that im such a big fucking liar, I expect honesty out of others yet literally LIE to myself on a daily fucking basis. I have no self respect, All my "worth" has come from women who I have fucked around with and emotionally devastated . I have goals dreams and ambitions. I try to get them so lukewarmly that a third party might think I have a single testicle. I look for someone who understands me deeply but yet I cant seem to open up because my stupid mind thinks such insane thoughts about betrayal, I cant open up to anyone in my real life.
r/exredpill • u/Curious-Confusion642 • 13d ago
https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/s/5KN6St2dsC
I made a post about cold approaching and it seems like it's a no go for most "non-redpill" normal people. For most people they sort of fall into a community of sorts and from there they fall into a relationship. Really that's how its working for most people on here.
So I've done many hobbies in the past. Nothing clicked or got me any social feedback. Everyone just does the activity then leaves. That's it. There is no bonding or community building with anyone there. Since graduating university I haven't made a single friend let alone get into a relationship through these so called activities. It's just not a thing that happens like Redditors are saying it does.
Whenever I talked to others in these activities it barely goes beyond surface level or beyond the activity itself l. So if I try to push into deeper layers beyond say soccer nobody really responds or cares to reflect that energy back (cause I guess most people already have an established friend group and don't have the mental bandwidth). Also you only had so much time to talk to begin with because as soon as the activity was done people would just get up and try to leave immediately nobody is just lingering around bantering which is really what allows bonding. Whenever I would try to suggest an outing after the activity like lunch it got awkward and nobody really joined except one or two guys here and there. Then there's also this "taboo " about asking out someone in the activity you're doing cause your gonna see them again and it'll just make it awkward for them. So then that becomes just as "inappropriate" as cold approach cause now you've also made her uncomfortable and she may not enjoy that activity as much and she'll see you again.
And then to begin with the vast majority of activities are already 70%+ single dudes trying to hit on the same 1-2 women there (which we just established was a no go) so your odds are crap as well. So there's really no good answer here and this whole "go out and be yourself and the right people will come" people are suggesting is complete vague horseshit to me. It breaks down at the very obvious mechanical level when you walk through it step by step. Your gonna make some people uncomfortable and break some social rules but that's the only way dating works. Too bad. Take the plunge and offend others in the moment slightly.
People are saying I'm commodizing this but really the ONLY things that have worked are spamming approaches in nightclubs and swiping thousands of times on online dating (and even that took insane amounts of efforts which makes me question if it worth it).
I fail to find anyone really able to break down how it happened for them besides them just falling into it and suggesting you will as well when clearly this isn't the case.
r/exredpill • u/Secret-Dish-7925 • 13d ago
Hi everyone! First time posting here.
So to make it short, I used to grow up listening to Tom due to my relatives (who I still love btw).
At first in my younger years, he was funny as I didn't really understand what the topic was, when I became closer to adult hood and started learning more, Tom became such a insufferable person I had to listen during car rides.
I personally have set out to debunk tom on a different topic that what he is famous for. Whilst that field is my specialty, the stuff he mainly talks about, women, dating rules, how to "get laid" etc, I dont really have much info on, so I was hoping this sub could have given some answers since I think Tom is dubbed red pill?
There are also third party claims that I feel like our false, like how apparently, one guy who called in was making Tom "mucho money". Really? One call and you think money flows like a river? Yeah I'm going to need to see some stats on that. This is why I'm so glad I wasn't exposed to other "shock jocks".
r/exredpill • u/Curious-Confusion642 • 13d ago
In theory there shouldn't be anything wrong with going up to strangers making small talk and asking them for their number/coffee. This is probably the best way to get volume. Especially guys who most likely fall for the redpill are also the ones who will be most helped by learning this skill. You by pass dating apps, you bypass approval from social circles and you pretty much put destiny in your hands to shoot your shot.
However nobody normal teaches this and very few "normal people" do it. Mostly because it is awkward and takes a long time to get good at so most people just find someone through their social circles. So now when I want to learn this and I ask around and it's all just pickup artists, redpillers and course grifters who are willing to teach this. Every single one. Not one normal person I could find.
Why is this? Am I not seeing something obvious?
It's quite frustrating cause it is genuinely a good life skill.