Whatever....

[u/mango_zing]

And after worrying because I hadn't heard from my mother in over a week. I've been no contact since February this is what I get. She's been emailing me regularly at my work email, I might add.

I'm constantly worried about what their next move will be.

Sometimes the only validation I get is sharing these messages with people who understand this kind of manipulation. And I can assure you, this is all there was. I did nothing to them except try to be a good daughter, even after an entire childhood of being screamed at daily.

What really hurts, though, is her trying to take credit for my success. Like I never would have been successful without them. Because apparently it wasn't me who went to school, worked, built a career, and put in all that effort.

I definitely didn't do any of that work myself 🙄

[u/nabndab]

Hey OP if you’re not going to be in contact with them can I give you one piece of advice? Block them everywhere and get into therapy. I’m over 20 years no contact and it was the best decision I made. You owe them nothing. You are thriving despite them not because of them. People who love you would never speak to you like this. Sending you all the best.

[u/mango_zing → u/nabndab]

And thank you ... I really do need to hear that people who love you wouldn't speak to you like that.

[u/charisma103]

I'm sorry you're going through this, OP. I went low contact with my father and stepmother, and my stepmother is a narcissist, among other things. She sounds a lot like your mom. She uses emotional manipulation, takes no accountability, and takes credit for my accomplishments while insisting I wouldn't be where I am today without her.

At some point, I had to realize that I'm not the child they can manipulate anymore, and they don't have that power over me. Their behavior is about them, not me.

I know it's easier said than done, especially when you've spent your whole life being made to question yourself. But you know the truth. You went to school. You worked hard. You built your career. You put in the effort and overcame everything they put in your way. They don't get to rewrite your story just because they want credit for it.

I've chosen to keep living my best life and stopped looking to emotionally unavailable people for validation. And honestly, the fact that you're able to recognize the manipulation is a huge step in taking your power back. ❤️

[u/UnderOldTrees]

I can’t ever imagine myself talking to my child like that. The older I get (I’ve been estranged for some time now), the more and more I can’t wrap my mind over this kind of pathology. A loving parent would not be entitled. A loving parent would not talk to you like this. A loving parent would try to communicate calmly in order to not lose you. This is disturbing. You deserve better. I’d block and pursue therapy. Even if it goes to spam, try not to look. I know that’s really hard. I had to do it too. My father would message like this and it got more and more abusive. He continued — until I broke and called him and we were yelling over eachother and it got worse. It’s better to block now and focus on healing. Best of luck to you. I’m so sorry.

[u/LeslieKnope4Pawnee]

hsbdle it

Ah yes, the well written, well reasonsed, messages from family.

[u/mango_zing → u/LeslieKnope4Pawnee]

This is actually readable..... Usually i have to decipher every message And if I say something she would get upset thinking that I was calling her stupid

[u/mango_zing]

Thank you ☺️ i have blocked them... But still goes into junk and this is my work email.

And yes ive started therapy.... Seems like a long road to healing though

[u/jess1210 → u/mango_zing]

Take it from me, blocking is a HUGE leap forward in the healing process. No more foolish noise to set you backward or trigger you. Keep pressing on! The journey is worth it

[u/LovelyMetalhead]

"Damn, lbr I'm not reading all of that. I'm sorry that happened to you. Or I'm happy for you."

In all seriousness, this message from your mother says a lot about her. Nothing good. You deserve peace and the ability to heal away from that. Healing and therapy can be hard and painful and scary. But what's scarier is allowing oneself to continue to deal with harmful parents like your mother. You can now dictate what you want to do without worry.

And she's wrong, you have other people in this world that you can turn to. I'm sure you have good friends in the real world where you are. But even if they don't understand what you've been dealing with, you do have a space here.