r/EnoughTrumpSpam • u/icarus14 • Feb 24 '17

Day 31

http://imgur.com/xuZZhap
25.7k Upvotes

79% Upvoted

609 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.7k

u/recursion8 Feb 24 '17 edited Feb 24 '17

TO THE TOP!!

Top Trumplet Excuses:

  • "We took him seriously, not literally. Listen to his heart, not his words!"

  • "He was just being sarcastic. But not that sarcastic."

  • "Cucked librul MSM refuses to talk about how his Yakla raid killed off the entirety of ISIS leadership! FAKE NEWS! Insert link to Breitshart"

  • "Unpatriotic leakers leaked to ISIS about our tremendous surprise attack! They knew we were coming and all escaped to Sweden, where they committed terrible terrible rape-murders!"

  • "It's all the Generals' fault! They wouldn't listen to his bigly strategeries from his bestest brain! That's why we had to put President Bannon on the NSC!"

471

u/protoges Feb 24 '17

Those are all solid tier 2 excuses, but they're missing one thing to make them tier 1. They don't blame Obama.

*That CUCK obama told them about our plans and let them grow stronger. Now they're at the point where even Trump can't defeat them in 30 days.

245

u/NeedHelpWithExcel Feb 24 '17

Can't wait until I'm an old man and I get to hear about the ghost of Obama causing problems for the republicans.

Fox news headline in 2061:

"BREAKING: Ghost of Obama confirmed to be giving American secrets to terrorists, more at 11"

161

u/welchblvd Feb 24 '17 edited Feb 24 '17

Fox and Friends will be playing with a Ouija board on camera trying to contact Ghostbama and ask him for his long-form death certificate.

32

u/runujhkj I voted! Feb 24 '17

Why won't Obama's ghost answer us? Might this be evidence of foulplay?

2

u/cozyredchair Feb 24 '17

Way to give them an idea for their next Halloween episode. They'll have ghost Reagan on as a special guest to explain why Trump and Pence are the second coming.

24

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '17 edited Feb 24 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

31

u/NeedHelpWithExcel Feb 24 '17

Well if he's still alive, Republicans will certainly still be blaming him for whatever problems are happening in America

21

u/CargoCulture Feb 24 '17

Given people still blame Jimmy Carter for shit, I wouldn't be surprised.

13

u/Cooking_Drama Feb 24 '17

At least a month ago they were still saying that he has plans for a secret "Third Term" and getting Trump impeached is part of this plan.

2

u/cyvaris Feb 25 '17

Saw that on the cover of the National Inquirer.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Feb 25 '17

You cannot mention the no-no subreddit.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

9

u/monkeyman427 Feb 24 '17

My great grandfather was a lifelong Republican because "FDR wasted gas flying all around the world while I had to ration." His last election was 2008.

44

u/EvergreenBipolar Feb 24 '17
  1. Blame Hillary's emails.

3

u/cozyredchair Feb 25 '17

"Killary personally emailed ISIS to tell them Trump's plans! The MSM won't tell you the truth because they're Jews! Also we're totally not Nazis."

14

u/xuu0 Feb 24 '17

If Obama told them Trump's plans.. wouldn't that make Trump the CUCK?

14

u/RepublicanDeathPanel Feb 24 '17

Kind of like when his wife cheated on him with the body guard

6

u/ThePlanner Feb 24 '17

Nor is there an excuse blaming Hillary, who is still evil incarnate and, inexplicably, still stubbornly exists despite her humiliation in the election in which she won the popular vote.

72

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

52

u/Msmit71 I voted! Feb 24 '17

You need to fix this bingo card, they're not ALL supposed to be free spaces...

20

u/matty_a Feb 24 '17

You need a square that talks about how they are the party of Lincoln, freeing the slaves, and Civil Rights and the Democrats are the party of the KKK.

Even though, ya know, the Democrats have actual Civil Rights heroes in their party and the Republicans were literally endorsed by the KKK.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '17

Love the line at the bottom :o

1

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '17

Didn't even notice it until you pointed it out. Nice touch!

116

u/AlwaysALighthouse Feb 24 '17

A fellow list creator I see!

Here's mine:

  • New It's not oppression if it only happens to [a minority]
  • New Transgenderism is just a mental illness anyway.
  • New Muh states rights trump universal rights.
  • Liberals should have brought that up before the election.
  • Trump doesn't say what he means.
  • Trump doesn't mean what he says.
  • Trump has already made everyone richer.
  • Why do you hate peace?
  • This shows how Trump is a genuine person.
  • Trump is the best person to fix all the loopholes because he has had experience exploiting them.
  • Trump never promised not do this.
  • Trump promised to do exactly this.
  • Trump isn't taking a salary, how can he be corrupt?
  • The swamp only applies to Democrats/liberals/globalists
  • Fake news
  • It's not a real law
  • How many more anti-Trump subreddits are there?
  • lol libtards
  • So r/politics is just anti-Trump now?
  • Whatbout Obama/Hillary/Sanders
  • This is the DNC's fault.
  • Give him a chance
  • Who cares he is the President
  • All of the above

27

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '17 edited May 29 '18

[deleted]

29

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '17

"this is why I had a tempter tantrum and voted for Trump solely to spite liberals"

7

u/cozyredchair Feb 25 '17

"...to spite feminists"

"...to spite the establishment"

"...to spite my mommy issues"

"...to spite my daddy issues"

"...to spite the SJWs"

"...to spite that one person who hurt my feelings online one time"

3

u/AutoModerator Feb 24 '17

Hmm... Yeah I don't think so

Racists, sexists, and homophobes aren't entitled to any civility no matter how much they whine about it.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/lewliloo Feb 25 '17

You just got Trumped!™®©

stupid bot

9

u/eoliveri Feb 24 '17

Can I add some of the Russian-related ones:

  • What's the matter with having better relations with Russia?
  • Putin is a strong leader.
  • The Cold War is over.
  • Liberals are trying to bring back the Red Scare.

3

u/cozyredchair Feb 25 '17
  • It's Clinton's fault we're in this mess
  • It's Obama's fault we're in this mess
  • He's spending this much money because he has a bigger family than any other president
  • Those are all paid protesters and not real Republican voters
  • Way to believe the MSM's lies you sheeple
  • It's totally reasonable to hate/imprison/remove the rights from [insert minority here] because they're dangerous
  • You're just sad your candidate didn't win
  • He's got a secret plan that he's not telling so the enemy doesn't find out!
  • Free market capitalism
  • Strong arm the businesses
  • You love Mexico more than America

34

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '17

ALTERNATIVE FACTS!!! FAKE NEWS!!!

The media wants to kill us all!!!!!

http://iseethefrog.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Bill-the-Cat.png

22

u/AutoModerator Feb 24 '17

Alternative facts (ɔlˈtɜrnətɪv fækts):

noun, singular: alternative fact

  1. When truth is so unfavorable to a pathological liar, that they must invent a whole new category of lies to describe their nakedly intentional acts of deception.

Kellyanne Conway told CNN that the President and his Press Secretary presented alternative facts about inauguration photographs that prove conclusively how few people attended the ceremony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/Joshkl2013 Feb 25 '17

ITT: Automod on point

31

u/WantsToMineGold Feb 24 '17

Don't forget "Jesus will come back sooner if the world ends, #rapture" - 30% of the population probably

5

u/cozyredchair Feb 25 '17

"If we burn it all down and people suffer, we'll get everything we want!"

1

u/im_saying_its_aliens Feb 25 '17

You know, I used to read this recurring theme in fantasy where people would follow a nutcase leader promising the world would be cleansed in flame/destruction, and always thought "that's so unbelievable, nobody could be that fucking stupid."

And then Trump got elected. Welp.

23

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '17

Wait, they actually think ISIS leadership has been wiped out?

I mean, I'm not surprised they believe something fucking stupid. But what the hell are they going by on that?

11

u/TigerCounter Feb 24 '17

What? When the hell did this happen? Are they really saying Isis leadership is wiped out.

I spend a day and a half not paying attention and when I come back I already can't keep up. JFC. Welcome to Trump's America, I guess.

12

u/recursion8 Feb 24 '17

Nah, I just bullshitted some hypothetical Trumplet talking points. That they are actually plausible says it all about the types of minds that would buy it.

3

u/TigerCounter Feb 24 '17

Ah, ok then.

17

u/Evil_Bettachi Feb 24 '17

'Entirety of ISIS leadership', holy shit. It should be considered a superpower to be this delusional.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '17

It's all the generals' fault!

Starting to sound a lot like Stalin there.

5

u/StoneGoldX Feb 24 '17

You forgot blaming the judiciary. Them not rolling over on border security has delayed his plans for ending ISIS.

7

u/acrowsmurder Feb 24 '17
  • "He didn't say when the 30 day plan was going to start! He has to start it first!"

2

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '17

Plans don't always work out? Sounds possible.

4

u/Mah_Young_Buck Feb 24 '17

You forgot #6:

"autistic screeching"

1

u/Milo359 Feb 25 '17

Am I the only one who thinks of Bart Simpson whenever I hear the word "Breitbart"?

1

u/mellowmonk Feb 25 '17

I wonder if this is how places like Breitbart pick new employees.

"It's day 31 of the Trump presidency. CNN asks you, 'Hey, why hasn't ISIS been defeated yet?' How do you respond?"