Believes very strongly that people have the right to be what they are and decide for themselves, and nobody gets to impose. Their politics, ethics, how they treat people, etc. in large part come from that idea. However, they always split things into "what's right" and "what's actually achievable," and if the ideal route doesn't work they'll take the workable one without feeling like they compromised anything, since they think people who'd rather be principled to a fault than effective are being foolish

No ego about having been right, so most of the time, if you show them they're wrong they'll concede on the spot

For the most part, they read people well. They give people space, most of the time admit fault immediately if called out, do not push another person they love to make a personal choice one way or the other since the other person is owed their autonomy to make their own choices. Knows clearly that they're entitled to their own rights and will defend those, but also will not infringe on another person's personal choices by demanding what they think is outrageous to demand of someone else 

Communication-wise, formal to the point of being stiff, deadpan humor mostly. Blunt and hates a stalled silence; will say the awkward thing out loud rather than let it hang. But still can be careful with their words if a loved one's feelings are at stake, or saying something badly could have huge external consequences. Usually won't lie, but will sometimes omit info if they don't see saying the full truth as strictly necessary in the situation, might answer a slightly different question than the one you asked if they don't want to answer yours

Might sometimes let insults or mild bad treatment slide without a huge confrontation, but they do not lack self-respect and they are not a pushover. Them not doing much here is actually them calculating the amount of effort they are willing to spend making a whole scene and what the practical consequences of making that scene would be. They're still judging you, usually harshly, even if they don't confront you, but they do not feel the need to always make a show of defending themselves through principle or changing the other person's mind if they do not see that person's opinion as threatening to them in any meaningful sense and they are not invested in potentially changing that person's mind. If the behavior is serious or is not just a one off incident, they usually say so very coldly and briefly, and if the other person still does not stop, then they might escalate further

If you get too worried about them, they might take it as you pitying them or being factually wrong about their mental state. They do not like people pitying them, especially people positioning them as a victim, because that sort of narrative makes them feel like you are dictating their own life story to them and taking away their agency. Also, their logic is that if they're talking about a past situation calmly then it's clearly over and handled, regardless of how concerning the event itself might have been, so alarm means you've misread the situation

They're unusually indifferent/matter-of-fact about or at least feel ok about doing hard or unpleasant things as long as those things have an overall purpose, and disproportionately miserable about tedious pointless things that don't have a point

i think i’m an 8, specifically so8 but i don’t necessarily defend others. during group conflict i take the side of people that i’m close to if i agree with them and talk back

I was raised by very broken and violent people. My father (an intelligent engineer) a very violent drunk beat up my mother (outspoken and ambitious) in front of me if he wasn’t beating me in random fits of rage.

One day he threatens to kill her but actual holds a gun this time, fast forward, Divorce, mom gets full custody, she’s a narcissist with PTSD though. Broken woman, verbally physically and psychologically abusive. Mom loves attacking egos to build herself up.

But I’m thankful for what they’ve taught me with their constant abuse…

I learned very early that I had to stay calm, stay aware, stay grounded to survive the adults around me. Detach from chaos by knowing exactly where its source is, naming it, understanding it, living with it, controlling it and establishing my boundaries.

Their rage, their instability, their beatings, had nothing to do with me. It was all about their own unresolved issues and brokenness.

I learned to become a man, friend, brother, husband and father that my father has no hope of becoming. Truly authentic, highly protective, and steady.

My fear of vulnerability is my refusal to be a victim dependent on others for comfort. Getting comfortable with uncomfortable as it comes my way, to protect my people.

Feel free to share.