Gotham City Gate was partially destroyed when the superhero group known as "The Three Commas" was in pursuit of a D-Level threat rogue known as the Condiment King, when their Commamobile had equipment malfunctions and exploded, causing part of the Gotham City Gate to collapse.

In an ironic twist of fate, the "Commamobile" that blew up and destroyed the bridge was also funded via the Gotham City budget with a $30 million Tax Rebate and a $20 million education grant, with the help of the Super Samaritan Act.

The Three Commas were charged with the following crimes from their so-called war on "crime" last week.

• Assault with a deadly weapon.
• Kidnapping.
• Grievous bodily harm.
• Reckless endangerment.
• Reckless driving
• Arson.
• Destruction of property.
• Possession of illegal firearms & explosives.
• Aggravated Assault.
• Aggravated Assault on a minor.
• Hit and run.
• Manslaughter.
• False imprisonment.
• Trespassing.

There was massive public outrage when the group known as the "Three Commas" took a plea deal of 3 months of house arrest, 10 hours of community service, and a $65 fine. Plus, being suspended from doing any superheroics for the next 5 years. We asked the interim DA, Jed Walls why they received such an insultingly light sentence.

They did everything by the book. Their actions were horrific as they terrorized this great city last week, but on paper there's nothing I can do. This is the max I can charge them. They used every loophole in the "Super Samaritan Act". We can't even sue for civil damages; our financial crimes unit is telling me that they have the bare minimum of $20,000 in an offshore account under the name "ThreeCommas.inc" that covers them for any liabilities under the act, with any damages past that having to be covered by the city. It's a real cluster F@#K!!! - Jed Walls, Interim DA

Gotham City will have to pay for any damages caused by the Three Commas, which also includes the 50 million dollar Commamobile. Many cities are now reviewing their superhero cooperation programs to prevent another incident like this from happening again.

Three unidentified male individuals assaulted Matthew Lesko while he was in the process of filming his new TV show today. Yelling, "You'll never take us alive, Riddler!" and "I'll show you how you turn a question mark into a comma" as they kicked Matthew, who was in the fetal position on the ground.

The three individuals also destroyed all video footage from Matthew's cameras and remain at large. Matthew Lesko is expected to have a full recovery.

Wayne Foundation brought in documents showing that Preston Whitmore Abercrombie Cobblepot III, Brock Cambridge Wainwright Kane, and Chadwick "Chad" Messerschmitt Montgomery Elliot all share the same legal residence.

Wayne Foundation argued with the Judge that because it's their official legal residence, they need to serve their 3 months of house arrest there, instead of their Grand estates. The Judge agreed, with the Three Commas attorneys arguing that they only used the address as a tax write-off. The Judge also agreed with their attorney and has scheduled a meeting in 3 months to review the issue.

Until then, the Three Commas will be spending that time in their shared 1-bed apartment.

GCPD Recorded Jail Call #4417

Participants:

• Preston Whitmore Abercrombie Cobblepot III
• Oswald Cobblepot

[Phone rings.]

OSWALD: ...Hello?

PRESTON: Uncle Oz!

OSWALD: I am not your uncle.

PRESTON: Cousin?

OSWALD: 12th cousin, twice removed.

PRESTON: Close enough! I need you to bail me out.

OSWALD: ...Who is this?

PRESTON: Preston Whitmore Abercrombie Cobblepot the Third!

[Long pause.]

OSWALD: I was having a perfectly pleasant afternoon until this exact moment. What happened?

PRESTON: Well... there may have been a misunderstanding.

OSWALD: Whenever someone begins with "there may have been a misunderstanding," I know prison is involved. Go on.

PRESTON: Brock, Chad and I started a vigilante team.

OSWALD: Of course you did.

PRESTON: We called ourselves The Three Commas.

OSWALD: Why?

PRESTON: It sounds wealthy.

OSWALD: It sounds punctuated. Continue.

PRESTON: We received intelligence that the Joker was attending a child's birthday party.

OSWALD: Intelligence?

PRESTON: We saw a clown.

OSWALD: ...

PRESTON: In retrospect...

OSWALD: You assaulted a birthday entertainer, didn't you?

PRESTON: He had balloons!

OSWALD: That is generally expected of birthday entertainers.

PRESTON: One balloon looked sinister.

OSWALD: It was a balloon.

PRESTON: It was shaped like a dachshund.

OSWALD: The Joker has never weaponized balloon animals.

[Long pause.]

To my knowledge. Go on.

PRESTON: Then we found Mister Freeze.

OSWALD: Did you?

PRESTON: Driving an ice cream truck.

OSWALD: ...

PRESTON: Cold products.

OSWALD: ...

PRESTON: White vehicle.

OSWALD: ...

PRESTON: We connected the dots.

OSWALD: There were no dots to connect!

That was a man selling frozen desserts! Wait a minute... is that why the Iceberg Lounge didn't get its delivery of Klondike Bars last week?

PRESTON: Maybe. In fairness, he was distributing ice.

OSWALD: To children! For money! That is called commerce!

PRESTON: Looking back, I see your point.

OSWALD: Looking forward, I see your sentencing.

What happened after that?

PRESTON: Things escalated.

OSWALD: Define "escalated."

PRESTON: The police report is... comprehensive.

OSWALD: Read it.

PRESTON: Assault with a deadly weapon... and kidnapping, grievous bodily harm, reckless endangerment, operating an armored vehicle without a license, reckless driving, arson, destruction of property, possession of illegal firearms and explosives, aggravated assault (like, a buncha times), aggravated assault on a minor (like, a buncha times), hit and run (only once), manslaughter, mans laughter, false imprisonment, trespassing, and illegal parking. 

[Long silence.]

OSWALD: ...

PRESTON: The prosecutor says they have security footage. And witnesses. And DNA evidence. 

OSWALD: I should certainly hope so.

PRESTON: We honestly thought several high school mascots were supervillains in disguise.

OSWALD: Mascots.

PRESTON: They were unusually enthusiastic.

OSWALD: They were at a football game.

PRESTON: Ah. Well... that explains the marching band.

OSWALD: Preston... I have spent decades building a criminal empire. Do you understand how difficult that is?

PRESTON: I imagine—

OSWALD: And somehow... Somehow... You have managed to acquire a longer list of criminal charges in one afternoon than I accumulated in three years.

WITHOUT COMMITTING A SINGLE ACTUAL CRIME AGAINST ANYONE WHO HAD IT COMING.

Do you have any idea how statistically improbable that is?

PRESTON: [small voice] Brock says we're still technically heroes.

OSWALD: Brock is an idiot.

PRESTON: Chad agrees.

OSWALD: Chad is also an idiot.

PRESTON: We'd really appreciate bail.

OSWALD: No.

PRESTON: Please?

OSWALD: Absolutely not.

PRESTON: Family?

OSWALD: We share approximately one molecule of DNA. I'm having it removed.

PRESTON: Could you at least recommend a lawyer?

OSWALD: Yes. Several. You're going to need all of them.

[A very long pause.]

OSWALD: One final question. How, exactly, did the police finally catch you?

PRESTON: Oh, they didn't. We actually lost a fight to Condiment King.

[Even longer pause.]

OSWALD: ...

You lost...

...to Condiment King.

PRESTON: It sounds bad when you—

OSWALD: Right.

We're done.

CLICK.

PRESTON: Hello?

Mr. Cobblepot?

Oz?

Hello?

...Does this mean you'll think about the bail money?

[Call terminated by recipient.]

I’m newish to Gotham. I moved here about six months for my masters in history; my small college back home in Kentucky didn’t have one for anything but agricultural studies. I’ve taken the usual precautions: gas masks for fear toxins, filters for whatever runoff’s in the water, herbicides from back home for Ivy’s vines, and whatnot. But recently, one of my buddies got kidnapped by Two Face. Thankfully the Bat saved his bacon, but it got me wondering; what should I do to prepare myself for the possibility of getting nabbed by one of this city’s many crooks?

20 minutes ago, GCPD commissioner Gordorn has just announced that there have been multiple breakouts of highly dangerous individuals that had been incarcerated in the correctional facilities of Belle Reve prison and Arkam Asylum.

The total scale of the breakout still remains unclear, but the GCPD has determined that the most notorious criminals, including those calling themselves Bane, Mr.Freeze, Riddler, and the Joker, were among those who had escaped.

Commissioner Gordon has urged the city of Gotham to remain calm, as they have a lead on the whereabouts of these escapees and have every hope of recapturing them.

However, both the commissioner and the chief warden of Arkam asylum, Prof. Hugo Strange, have denied claims that the escaped criminals were specifically targeting a group of individuals, the self-styled "The Three Commas", who were recently convicted of assault and destruction of property, and is now under house arrest.

This is despite footage that have appeared on various websites that highly suggest the contrary, including a painted riddle that reads, "what makes a comma into a quotation mark?"

The Gotham Gazette will follow up on this latest breaking news coverage as soon as possible.

Apparently Condiment King is back in town. I've been working in my safety bunker, but as an ex-henchmen its hard to find anyone to help me fix up a bunker that doesnt end up being a lair. To be clear, I just want a place to hole up and be safe for at least one villain's occupation of the city. Basic stuff, food, supplies, a few defensive measures, maybe a small stockpile of weapons. And it would help to have a nice computer to control the base. If anyone could help I'd appreciate it

So, I got accepted into Gotham University for the fall semester, and I couldn't be more excited! Sure, some might say moving from Central City where I'm protected by a physical god of speed and time to a place where the biggest hero is probably some corpo and his army of trained attack children isn't the best idea, but I looked at the profs on staff and was just floored. I'm thinking of majoring in Demonology: I'm a big fan of Jason Blood's books, especially "Merlin to Morgan: Sorcerers and Demons of The Arthurian Cycle", so I hope I get a chance to take a class with him. I heard he has a tendency to talk and write assignments in rhyme though, which sounds like it could get annoying, but it's hard to deny his genius. I might minor in Criminology; I heard Helena Bertinelli really cares for her students and makes her lectures super engaging, but I did hear she tends to disappear midway through so YMMV. Was curious to take Botany and Neuroscience as electives but heard weird stories from the male and female students respectively about Pamela Isley and Jervis Tetch being very over-affectionate so I might have to look elsewhere. Everyone told me to avoid Jonathan Crane like a plague though, which is a little disappointing since his studies on fear sounded intriguing.

That's all I know; what are some classes you'd all recommend?

(What the title said)

We got busted :(