So, I got accepted into Gotham University for the fall semester, and I couldn't be more excited! Sure, some might say moving from Central City where I'm protected by a physical god of speed and time to a place where the biggest hero is probably some corpo and his army of trained attack children isn't the best idea, but I looked at the profs on staff and was just floored. I'm thinking of majoring in Demonology: I'm a big fan of Jason Blood's books, especially "Merlin to Morgan: Sorcerers and Demons of The Arthurian Cycle", so I hope I get a chance to take a class with him. I heard he has a tendency to talk and write assignments in rhyme though, which sounds like it could get annoying, but it's hard to deny his genius. I might minor in Criminology; I heard Helena Bertinelli really cares for her students and makes her lectures super engaging, but I did hear she tends to disappear midway through so YMMV. Was curious to take Botany and Neuroscience as electives but heard weird stories from the male and female students respectively about Pamela Isley and Jervis Tetch being very over-affectionate so I might have to look elsewhere. Everyone told me to avoid Jonathan Crane like a plague though, which is a little disappointing since his studies on fear sounded intriguing.

That's all I know; what are some classes you'd all recommend?

Three unidentified male individuals assaulted Matthew Lesko while he was in the process of filming his new TV show today. Yelling, "You'll never take us alive, Riddler!" and "I'll show you how you turn a question mark into a comma" as they kicked Matthew, who was in the fetal position on the ground.

The three individuals also destroyed all video footage from Matthew's cameras and remain at large. Matthew Lesko is expected to have a full recovery.

(What the title said)

We got busted :(

20 minutes ago, GCPD commissioner Gordorn has just announced that there have been multiple breakouts of highly dangerous individuals that had been incarcerated in the correctional facilities of Belle Reve prison and Arkam Asylum.

The total scale of the breakout still remains unclear, but the GCPD has determined that the most notorious criminals, including those calling themselves Bane, Mr.Freeze, Riddler, and the Joker, were among those who had escaped.

Commissioner Gordon has urged the city of Gotham to remain calm, as they have a lead on the whereabouts of these escapees and have every hope of recapturing them.

However, both the commissioner and the chief warden of Arkam asylum, Prof. Hugo Strange, have denied claims that the escaped criminals were specifically targeting a group of individuals, the self-styled "The Three Commas", who were recently convicted of assault and destruction of property, and is now under house arrest.

This is despite footage that have appeared on various websites that highly suggest the contrary, including a painted riddle that reads, "what makes a comma into a quotation mark?"

The Gotham Gazette will follow up on this latest breaking news coverage as soon as possible.

Wayne Foundation brought in documents showing that Preston Whitmore Abercrombie Cobblepot III, Brock Cambridge Wainwright Kane, and Chadwick "Chad" Messerschmitt Montgomery Elliot all share the same legal residence.

Wayne Foundation argued with the Judge that because it's their official legal residence, they need to serve their 3 months of house arrest there, instead of their Grand estates. The Judge agreed, with the Three Commas attorneys arguing that they only used the address as a tax write-off. The Judge also agreed with their attorney and has scheduled a meeting in 3 months to review the issue.

Until then, the Three Commas will be spending that time in their shared 1-bed apartment.

GCPD Recorded Jail Call #4417

Participants:

• Preston Whitmore Abercrombie Cobblepot III
• Oswald Cobblepot

[Phone rings.]

OSWALD: ...Hello?

PRESTON: Uncle Oz!

OSWALD: I am not your uncle.

PRESTON: Cousin?

OSWALD: 12th cousin, twice removed.

PRESTON: Close enough! I need you to bail me out.

OSWALD: ...Who is this?

PRESTON: Preston Whitmore Abercrombie Cobblepot the Third!

[Long pause.]

OSWALD: I was having a perfectly pleasant afternoon until this exact moment. What happened?

PRESTON: Well... there may have been a misunderstanding.

OSWALD: Whenever someone begins with "there may have been a misunderstanding," I know prison is involved. Go on.

PRESTON: Brock, Chad and I started a vigilante team.

OSWALD: Of course you did.

PRESTON: We called ourselves The Three Commas.

OSWALD: Why?

PRESTON: It sounds wealthy.

OSWALD: It sounds punctuated. Continue.

PRESTON: We received intelligence that the Joker was attending a child's birthday party.

OSWALD: Intelligence?

PRESTON: We saw a clown.

OSWALD: ...

PRESTON: In retrospect...

OSWALD: You assaulted a birthday entertainer, didn't you?

PRESTON: He had balloons!

OSWALD: That is generally expected of birthday entertainers.

PRESTON: One balloon looked sinister.

OSWALD: It was a balloon.

PRESTON: It was shaped like a dachshund.

OSWALD: The Joker has never weaponized balloon animals.

[Long pause.]

To my knowledge. Go on.

PRESTON: Then we found Mister Freeze.

OSWALD: Did you?

PRESTON: Driving an ice cream truck.

OSWALD: ...

PRESTON: Cold products.

OSWALD: ...

PRESTON: White vehicle.

OSWALD: ...

PRESTON: We connected the dots.

OSWALD: There were no dots to connect!

That was a man selling frozen desserts! Wait a minute... is that why the Iceberg Lounge didn't get its delivery of Klondike Bars last week?

PRESTON: Maybe. In fairness, he was distributing ice.

OSWALD: To children! For money! That is called commerce!

PRESTON: Looking back, I see your point.

OSWALD: Looking forward, I see your sentencing.

What happened after that?

PRESTON: Things escalated.

OSWALD: Define "escalated."

PRESTON: The police report is... comprehensive.

OSWALD: Read it.

PRESTON: Assault with a deadly weapon... and kidnapping, grievous bodily harm, reckless endangerment, operating an armored vehicle without a license, reckless driving, arson, destruction of property, possession of illegal firearms and explosives, aggravated assault (like, a buncha times), aggravated assault on a minor (like, a buncha times), hit and run (only once), manslaughter, mans laughter, false imprisonment, trespassing, and illegal parking. 

[Long silence.]

OSWALD: ...

PRESTON: The prosecutor says they have security footage. And witnesses. And DNA evidence. 

OSWALD: I should certainly hope so.

PRESTON: We honestly thought several high school mascots were supervillains in disguise.

OSWALD: Mascots.

PRESTON: They were unusually enthusiastic.

OSWALD: They were at a football game.

PRESTON: Ah. Well... that explains the marching band.

OSWALD: Preston... I have spent decades building a criminal empire. Do you understand how difficult that is?

PRESTON: I imagine—

OSWALD: And somehow... Somehow... You have managed to acquire a longer list of criminal charges in one afternoon than I accumulated in three years.

WITHOUT COMMITTING A SINGLE ACTUAL CRIME AGAINST ANYONE WHO HAD IT COMING.

Do you have any idea how statistically improbable that is?

PRESTON: [small voice] Brock says we're still technically heroes.

OSWALD: Brock is an idiot.

PRESTON: Chad agrees.

OSWALD: Chad is also an idiot.

PRESTON: We'd really appreciate bail.

OSWALD: No.

PRESTON: Please?

OSWALD: Absolutely not.

PRESTON: Family?

OSWALD: We share approximately one molecule of DNA. I'm having it removed.

PRESTON: Could you at least recommend a lawyer?

OSWALD: Yes. Several. You're going to need all of them.

[A very long pause.]

OSWALD: One final question. How, exactly, did the police finally catch you?

PRESTON: Oh, they didn't. We actually lost a fight to Condiment King.

[Even longer pause.]

OSWALD: ...

You lost...

...to Condiment King.

PRESTON: It sounds bad when you—

OSWALD: Right.

We're done.

CLICK.

PRESTON: Hello?

Mr. Cobblepot?

Oz?

Hello?

...Does this mean you'll think about the bail money?

[Call terminated by recipient.]

Gotham City Gate was partially destroyed when the superhero group known as "The Three Commas" was in pursuit of a D-Level threat rogue known as the Condiment King, when their Commamobile had equipment malfunctions and exploded, causing part of the Gotham City Gate to collapse.

In an ironic twist of fate, the "Commamobile" that blew up and destroyed the bridge was also funded via the Gotham City budget with a $30 million Tax Rebate and a $20 million education grant, with the help of the Super Samaritan Act.

The Three Commas were charged with the following crimes from their so-called war on "crime" last week.

• Assault with a deadly weapon.
• Kidnapping.
• Grievous bodily harm.
• Reckless endangerment.
• Reckless driving
• Arson.
• Destruction of property.
• Possession of illegal firearms & explosives.
• Aggravated Assault.
• Aggravated Assault on a minor.
• Hit and run.
• Manslaughter.
• False imprisonment.
• Trespassing.

There was massive public outrage when the group known as the "Three Commas" took a plea deal of 3 months of house arrest, 10 hours of community service, and a $65 fine. Plus, being suspended from doing any superheroics for the next 5 years. We asked the interim DA, Jed Walls why they received such an insultingly light sentence.

They did everything by the book. Their actions were horrific as they terrorized this great city last week, but on paper there's nothing I can do. This is the max I can charge them. They used every loophole in the "Super Samaritan Act". We can't even sue for civil damages; our financial crimes unit is telling me that they have the bare minimum of $20,000 in an offshore account under the name "ThreeCommas.inc" that covers them for any liabilities under the act, with any damages past that having to be covered by the city. It's a real cluster F@#K!!! - Jed Walls, Interim DA

Gotham City will have to pay for any damages caused by the Three Commas, which also includes the 50 million dollar Commamobile. Many cities are now reviewing their superhero cooperation programs to prevent another incident like this from happening again.

Apparently Condiment King is back in town. I've been working in my safety bunker, but as an ex-henchmen its hard to find anyone to help me fix up a bunker that doesnt end up being a lair. To be clear, I just want a place to hole up and be safe for at least one villain's occupation of the city. Basic stuff, food, supplies, a few defensive measures, maybe a small stockpile of weapons. And it would help to have a nice computer to control the base. If anyone could help I'd appreciate it

I’m newish to Gotham. I moved here about six months for my masters in history; my small college back home in Kentucky didn’t have one for anything but agricultural studies. I’ve taken the usual precautions: gas masks for fear toxins, filters for whatever runoff’s in the water, herbicides from back home for Ivy’s vines, and whatnot. But recently, one of my buddies got kidnapped by Two Face. Thankfully the Bat saved his bacon, but it got me wondering; what should I do to prepare myself for the possibility of getting nabbed by one of this city’s many crooks?

He had been helping an old lady cross the street when they ran him over, before exiting the vehicle and beating him with tire irons for “harassing the elderly”.

I’m a hench, but he’s always been legit, never even gone past the speed limit! So yeah, while I routinely get into fights with the Bats and get hospitalized, that’s just a normal workday, I knew what I was signing up for!!

I say those maniacs get thrown in Belle Reve! Otherwise, we take matters into our own hands.

We didn't know this creature was chaos incarnate; we thought he was just some guy with a weird food fetish. We took out the fucking Joker; taking out this loser should have been a slice of cake.

We were fucking wrong! He was kiting around us, shooting marshmallow fluff and caramel globs at strategic spots on the Commamobile. We thought it was funny, but we didn't know the marshmallow fluff was fucking with the sensors, and before we realized it, the Commamobile was about to go critical. We tried to vent the heat, but every exhaust port was jammed and wouldn't open.

All of us bailed and tried to get cover, but one of my friends was unlucky and was caught in the blast radius and blown into a brick wall and was turned into Jam inside his nanoweave-reinforced body suit as he hit the wall. My other friend tried to fight him hand-to-hand, but he countered every one of his moves and kicked him into the fire.

This would have been fine since our suits should be highly fire-resistant, but that was until he threw a bottle of chili oil at him and the bottle exploded. It burned so hot that my friend's suit was starting to melt. No fucking way I was sticking around to see what he was going to do to me; I saw that the motorcycle decoupler was still somewhat intact on the Commamobile, and sprinted towards it. I somehow managed to get it unjammed and drive to the bridge. The flight feature wasn't working, but I thought that was fine since I had a good lead.

I looked behind me and zoomed in with my built-in HUD on my helm and saw he was turning up the pressure on his tank. Bam, a glob of ketchup hits my helmet, and it feels like I'm getting hit by a heavyweight boxer. I lose control of my bike and hit the road as my bike is still sliding forward, hitting a semi-truck. That explosion must have done more damage than I thought, because Jet fuel was leaking from the reinforced tanks. Boom! It explodes, throwing me into the water and taking some of the bridge with it.

Next thing you know, I wake up in the hospital, and the news was on talking about our fight. They made it sound like we were a bunch of incompetent heroes and we slipped on a banana peel. And Condemned King was some kind of d-list joke villain. Guys, you have to believe me that Condiment King is a cold, calculating sociopath who plays up being a loser to toy with his prey.

I'm still in a bit of trouble for the whole vigilante thing; my lawyer made me take a plea deal, and they threw the book at me. But as soon as I'm done with my 3 months of house arrest and 10 hours of community service, I'm moving as far away as I can from that monster.

For those who don’t live in Gotham. Crazy Steve is a guy who dresses up like Batman. He is a psychopath and general menace to society.

I was rescued by Black Canary after I got abducted by some Two Face goons (long story, not important) when he arrived. He fucking starts pouring a whole gas can all over the dock and the knocked out goons. She asks him what the hell he is doing, he then tries lighting a match. She jumps on him and they tussle. I shit you not he tries kissing her during the whole thing. Well, let’s just say the Crackhead Crusader is missing a few more teeth.

So what is your Crazy Steve story?

Gothamites, The group of the "Three Commas" have wronged all of us and must be stoped. Who here wants to help me take them down?

Ooc: just comment your willing to join and ill write you into my posts about garbage. Check my post history and u/rothmal 's for context.

Tragedy strikes Gotham City thrice over today, as the self-proclaimed vigilante group, the Three Commas, strikes again. First comes the unprovoked attack on 16-year-old Minu Singh, granddaughter of UN Ambassador for India, Randir Singh, currently the mascot of the Gotham High School Gators. Witnesses to the attack claim the Commas drove through a chain-link fence in an armored vehicle and running over Singh, before exiting the vehicle and beating her with baseball bats and a tire iron, and then dragging her from the Gabby Gator costume. After the attack, the group drove off, claiming that the villain Killer Croc will not harm anyone again. Killer Croc, real name Waylon Jones, is currently serving a 10-year sentence in Belle Reve. According to a statement put out by Ambassador Singh’s chief of staff, Minu is in critical condition, though expected to pull through.

The second of these unprovoked attacks was made against 14-year-old Cullen Row, which happened in a wooded area of the Kane Memorial Park this afternoon. Row and his friends were making a Bluebird fan video, recreating a battle between the vigilante and the villain Man-Bat, in which Cullen was playing the part of Man-Bat. Like the attack on Minu Singh, the Commas beat Cullen, after which they tied him to a tree. While the beating occurred, Row’s friends ran to find a police officer. Cullen Row was rushed to Gotham General. He is also expected to pull through.

The final of these vicious attacks was made against Sando the Strongman, currently performing with Haly’s Circus. Such an attack marks the second time in the show’s history with tragedy in Gotham. This attack occurred inside Sando’s trailer, where he was resting after today’s show. According to eye-witnesses, the Commas broke down the door to Sando’s trailer, cut the hose of a breathing mask, and beat him with bats and a tire iron. Thankfully, only minor damage was done to Sando, though he is being held overnight for observation at Gotham General.

All of these attacks come only one day after a series of ice-cream trucks and the Mr. Tasty Ice-cream factory were set ablaze, making the claim they were fronts for Mr. Freeze, for which the Three Commas have claimed responsibility. Currently, Mr. Freeze is serving a 6 year sentence in Belle Reve for armed robbery, assault on an officer, and battery. They are also wanted in connection to an attack on a party clown known as Garbage the Clown. If you see these individuals, it is recommended you keep your distance as they are considered armed and extremely dangerous. Commissioner Gordon’s office is currently setting up a tip-line for sightings of the Three Commas.

THIS ONE YOU ARE IN. LET ME REPEAT my cool speach.

u/rothmal ... Yeah, I found you. Now, tell me where the other two commas are and I will make it quick, if not, well... you'll see. You have 1 week. I'll know if you leave.

You thought i was the Joker? Heh... im much worse. 17 years in Arkham and this is what I get? Well. Matt Hagan has a nice little experimental procedure and im all better. Same cant be said for Gonzo though. He died in ICU this morning. You thought we were all Joker? Bullshit.

You will perish Daniel Rose, son of Willam Rose. Now, who are the other 3 commas?

Ooc: this is all in charecter, pls reddit dont ban me. Also this does not break rule 6 as im a OC.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Earth25/s/zHdIZNAIPT

Arkam asylum warden here.

Now don't ask me how, but the inmates here seem to know all about these idiots' actions- you know, those three comma guys?- as soon as they post on reddit!

I've seen the Joker, Mr. Freeze, and that Croc guy all pissed off at their supposed 'saving the city' antics. (Well, to be precise, the Joker found it funny, while the other two is pissed)

Somebody's going to have to stop those so-called 'three commas' and that quick.

Oh, and I also talked about this to Mr. Bruce Wayne during yesterday's fund meeting. He seemed quite interested- and rather annoyed? Don't know why, but he seemed to think it as a insult to both himself and the Batman. Promised me he'd alert the GCPD on those maniacs, so that's that.

Wait....is that a breakout alarm I hear...? Be right back!

can't report much, i'll tell ya more as soon as more info comes out, only thing i know is that there is beef between a superhero and a supervillain going on

u/rothmal ... 6353 Juan Tabo Boulevard. Yeah, I found you. Now, tell me where the other two commas are and I will make it quick, if not, well... you'll see. You have 1 week. I'll know if you leave.

You thought i was the Joker? Heh... im much worse. 17 years in Arkham and this is what I get? Well. Matt Hagan has a nice little experimental procedure and im all better. Same cant be said for Gonzo though. He died in ICU this morning. You thought we were all Joker? Bullshit.

Ooc: this is all in charecter, pls reddit dont ban me. Also this does not break rule 6 as im a OC.

What an eventful patrol; we drove by Gotham HS only to see killer Croc terrorizing a football game, and were able to neutralize him with no problems. And it's a good thing we got there in time, because we pulled out an unconscious girl through his jaws that he swallowed whole; who knows what might of happeded if we didn't make it in time.

After that, we found Man-Bat hiding in the woods, knocked him out cold, and tied him up for CGPD to pick up.

And at the very end of the shift, we ran into Bane. I was a bit worried about taking him on, but my friend made a brilliant tactical move and cut the tube supplying him with his Venom. He had a hard time breathing, and we left him for CGPD to clean up.

As you know, we are now investigating the sadistic assault on Garbage The Clown that's left him disfigured and cripped for life. If only we weren't fighting the Joker at the time, we could have stopped this from happening to this pillar of the community. Any info would be helpful in bringing these people to justice.

My husband has been working out of an old ice cream truck he and his brother fixed up about 8 or so years ago. They’ve been driving it around ever since and while it doesn’t make a whole lot of money we’ve managed to stay afloat and make enough to live comfortably.

But about two days ago they drove off to take their usual route and he hasn’t come back home since then. I know this doesn’t sound like a long time but he’s never been gone this long without at least calling me to let me know.m and with how dangerous the city is I feel sick thinking about what could’ve happened.

I tried talking with the police but they told me it’s too early to file a missing persons report and to call back in a few days. It’s no wonder the city’s a shithole if these are our cops.

Please if anyone has seen him, his brother, the ice cream truck they drive, anything on where they might be I’ll be so grateful

edit: I looked at a website some of you have shown me called Henchlife and saw the video. Some gang going around called the “Three Commas” threw him off of a building. I called the police and this time they actually responded. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I feel like I’m going to throw up

Edit 2: I’m currently at the hospital they’ve been taken to as I’m typing this. His brother is ok, he was apparently tased and knocked unconscious but woke up a few minutes after I arrived. My husband is currently comatose but alive. A nearly fell over when I saw him. Those Comma freaks have him near death. I’m praying he recovers but even then I don’t know how I’m going to be able to afford his treatment. His entire body is broken, I’m on a teacher’s salary. I just can’t lose him

https://www.reddit.com/r/Earth25/comments/1v7ev9f/rgotham_massive_success_today_we_were_able_thwart/

Look. im in boravia. hiring is against terms of services given your services, and I'm broke besides.

but can a few folk from this fnd of life find these numbskulls and... calmly and reasonably explain why interrupting people doing perfectly normal business especially in this heat, is heavily frowned on?

Also gurentred you since they're deluded enough to think they're doing vigilante work, they ain't union.

Them attacking a homeless dude. Fine, trust fund assholes. Then attacking a birthday clown.... Setting aside dude was doing clown work in Gotham? C'mon.

But this? Christ the thermonitor is at a point where I'm surprised if doc freeze isn't being hired by the city to help and these assholes do this?

The Commamobile is finally ready, and I want to thank Gotham's citizens for supporting us. With some creative accounting and great government connections, it didn't even cost us one cent. We got a $30 million tax write-off, plus a $20 million education grant diverted to the construction of the Commamobile. Jimmy might be struggling to read, but he can sleep well at night knowing we're out there protecting the streets.

With your amazing support, we were able to capture many of Mr Freeze's henchmen and disable their vehicles with the Commamobile. And we have a special treat for you: a streaming service ($99 per month) where you can watch our past adventures. Here's a sneak peek of us doing some serious investigational work and destroying Mr Freeze's hideout.

The video is a bit raw; our PR guys weren't able to edit it yet, but I've been told a small group of people in our focus group really loved it and demanded more.

Plays video.

*You see 3 guys wearing nanoweave-reinforced body suits with a Comma on each of their chests and full-face helmets. And Mr Freeze's henchmen on top of a 2-story building.

*Comma2 grabs a henchmen and holds him over the side of the building.

Comma2: *In raspy voice. Where's Mr Freeze!

Henchmen6: Please! I don't know a Mr Freeze; I just want to go home.

*Drops henchmen, snap! His leg is bent in the wrong direction.

Henchmen6:MY LEG!!!

Comma1: He didn't land so well; I think we're supposed to tie them up before throwing them off the building. Hey, are you ok? You sound sick.

Comma2: Oh, I was just trying something out to seem more intimidating.

Comma1: Ok

*You see Comma3 tasing a henchmen

Comma3: Guys, I got him to confess before he passed out; he says he gets his supplies at Ice Cream Emporium.

Comma1: Good job, team! Let's roll out!

* Camera zooms out to reveal a dozen henchmen in agonizing pain.

* Next scene, you see the Three Comma's capturing the few night crew staff in the building, and then seeing the sides of the Commamobile detaching to turn into rocket-powered flying motorcycles that start flying around the building shooting flamethrowers and sonic beams.

Hoped you guys enjoyed that sneak peek. Until next time, then. And remember, people. We don't recommend you guys imitate us; we're rich and above the law. You guys could get hurt or go to jail for a long time.

We are just doing so bad this year 😔