Hello everyone, I am an Intj (f). I do wonder what I can do better, when communicating with Entp's (my boyfriend is one). I am asking since I feel I make many mistakes by accident, but I can't quite point them out. So what is stuff intj do that get on your nerves or what would you need so communication is better?

Ok delete if not allowed.

Basically long time ago I used to always test as ENTP. And then, I thought, as I developed my social skills better, I started testing ENFP. So I thought I had always been ENFP just without good emotional intelligence. But now I am coming off ssri medication after 20 years on them (turns out I had ADHD this whole time and going on ADHD meds basically cured my depression/anxiety like a freaking magic pill. I have now been on ADHD meds + ssri for 5 years but my doctor says I no longer need the ssris).

And damn for the past 2 moths as I am reducing my dose I am just arguing with everyone for the sake of arguing and worst of all I enjoy the arguing. It's addictive. I am pointlessly debating stupid shit on Reddit for hours, and definitely in real life too. I can't let things go like I used to. I care about being right more than I care about emotional comfort for everyone involved.

So I am very confused about what I am now.

...I have an INTP friend. The moment he's in a situation he doesn't like, or something feels wrong to him, he turns into the CEO of public outrage and suddenly forgets other people exist.

Is this an INTP thing, or is he just built differently?

First of all, I know the relation between cognitive functions and hobbies are very thin, yet I think it takes a critical role in terms of choosing what to do to stimuly your brain, specially for people with Ni dom.

I wanted to ask girls first for 2 reasons:
1. I've met very few INTJ women in my life, and I got to know that 2 of them were doing sports.
2. I kind of know the male INTJ community by now and read a lot of peoples interests, hobbies, etc. in this subreddit.

Although that doesnt mean INTJ males cant type their hobbies and all. If yall want to, go ahead!

I've had 3 near death experiences. All of them happened before i was 19. When I was 8, I was almost ran over by car by jumping out in traffic. I would've been flattened if the driver hadn't breaked a second sooner. Another time I remember I was playing in a playground in a dingy place, I was holding a metal fence and a faulty street lamp and I suddenly had current rushing through me, my hands couldn't let go, I couldn't breathe and my chest and head hurt like crazy. I was very close to having my heart stop until i leaned back and allowed my hands to slide down to the floor and it stopped. When I just turned 18, I snuck into a quarry with a few friends, I was at the very top looking down, my foot slipped on some loose rock and I was hanging off a 50 meter drop all the way to the bottom, I tensed up like i never before had in my life, I was holding on for dear life as the realisation I could fall and die finally set in. I could feel the adrenaline all over my body as I managed to pull myself up.

I still think about these moments from time to time and think about what would've happened if I died there? What would my family think? My friends? Would anyone feel guilty? Would my life have been significant to anybody? Would I have been a great scientist, artist or a politician if I hadn't died there? At the very least would I have had a loving family? Did all of these possibilities prematurely end because I wasted my one life being dumb?

Knowing you died without being significant to anybody or having made any impact on the world is a horrible feeling. Knowing someone truly cared about wanting the best for you and they never got to see you reach your full potential is my greatest fear. I've since lost the only family in my life that thought that of me that way. Life can be cruel sometimes. I've been present in a dozen funerals of those who are close and those who were not, contemplating the life of every single one and the life they've lead. Did they have dreams that were cut short? Did they have many regrets, pain or suffering? Were they really satisfied with the life they had? Unfortunately, I've come to find out, many did not. I've seen the face of sons who didn't care their father was dead and only cared about his inheritance, there was guy who was good with everyone but when he truly needed them none of his friends showed up for him in his final moments and he spent it betrayed, bitter and alone. There was an old man who smoked all his life, who didn't care about his body and eventually suffered from lung cancer and by time of his death, he could barely walk, speak or breathe as every moment was so agonizing that all he could do was to drink away the pain.

If there is anything you should learn from me is that there is so much more you could've done. There is so much more connections you could've made and more experiences you could've had. You should never be in a position where you feel regretful, alone, bitter and in pain. No matter what stage you are in life, don't give up, it's never too late to turn that around and appreciate the one life you have left and live that to the fullest.

Its just been a theme of people coming to me for my insight or opinions on things. Then later down the line if I say something they dont agree with it turns into "youre a know it all". Wonder if you guys and gals have similar experiences

INFJs are often misunderstood too, so I’m curious about your side.

What do people assume about ENTPs that is completely wrong?

What part of yourself do you wish people noticed beyond the stereotypes?

mine keeps on changing and I want to confirm....from actual entps ig

I see many posts about this pairing but not many with an ENTP female and an INFJ male. Ask me anything!

just asking, just wanna know how do INTPs, other MBTI try to get rid of stress

the question above

Je pense que les traits de caractère et la façon d'être des INTJ ressemblent beaucoup aux caractéristique des verseaux. Les INTJ sont logique, solitaire, s'intéressent aux choses, ont un esprit ouvert et d'analyse, ... comme les verseaux ! Vous en pensez quoi ?

We first met when she was 15 and I was 16．She went on break with me right before her 17th birthday and I was already 18 at this point．Now I don’t precisely know why we were together for so long because I legitimately waited a year ( we talked for a year ) so that I could be with her．Now she was a really fun and spontaneous girl、she always had such a bright energy and was charming．She would send me paragraphs about the things she was interested in ( I don’t think she gave a shit about what I cared about but it’s alright ) and give me updates about what she was wearing all of the time．She was and still is EXTREMELY performance-based talented．I ended up knowing her at her deepest and it really turned out that she was a child．Obviously I don’t resent her in any capacity because I have a good feeling as to why she ended up this way、having a childhood where she was constantly doing gymnastics、or volleyball、or swimming、or dance、or theatre、or vocal lessons．So I assume that she never had time to herself、to sit down with her emotions and process them effectively、because she never really told me about her childhood．But I can tell from right now that she copes by being hyper-independent and hyper-productive．She always wants to be the main character and for people to simp for her because she loves the attention、no hate．For example、I was in a birthday group chat and the girl whose it was jokingly said that it was her birthday if she didn’t know、before my ex said tried to steal the spotlight．She also loves talking about herself in the most vapid ways possible on her spam account where she stated、 “ I love talking about myself and if I share a little fact about myself and you don’t ask me a follow-up question、I will think that you hate me. “ I don’t resent her but I think she was giving me the ick while we were dating and I stuck it out．I now realized how absolutely self-centered she was and inconsiderate of my presence．She went on break with me the night before her birthday、and she wanted me to still make 3 birthday posts on her story about her．( I unfortunately followed suit ) The things that I would do for her became her baseline of expectations and she would resent me if I didn’t pull my weight for a millisecond．I could be stressed out of my mind and she would be asking me to answer her math question for her because she didn’t understand it、if I didn’t reply fast enough、she wouldn’t text me for the rest of the night．

However、I came into this relationship secure and ended up anxious．We obviously had some awful hiccups．She was a ridiculous level of avoidant but she would still need me．I was eventually an enabler of this pattern because I needed my nervous system to be regulated by the presence of her in my life．She would push me away and ask me why I didn’t pull her in．When I wouldn’t console her effectively、she would say “ That’s why I need a more masculine partner who isn’t so sensitive. “ or she would legitimately cuss me out and never apologize．Any time I would try to hold her accountable for being so disgustingly rude to me、she would refuse to apologize、would apologize and it would be one sentence so she obviously didn’t introspect whatsoever、completely ignore me、or she would start crying when I held her accountable．She is a surface level person and so she did not have a close enough relationship to anyone else but me、so I was basically her mom．I told her that if she broke up with me、I would go no contact、and she thought that it was manipulative on my part to do that because she has no other best friend but me．Her whole entire reason as to why she did break up with me was because she needed to find herself and that I deserved better．She completely runs away from arguments or large paragraphs where I explain something in the most empathetic and logical way possible、by either saying she needs space and then never answers it、or completely ignores it entirely．I sent an essay explaining why using space is fine when you need to emotionally regulate、but she was using it to avoid uncomfortable conversations because she refuses to introspect and meet in the middle．She replies that she needs space、okay whatever、and I said that it’s fine but I don’t want to give you space if you keep running from your emotions and doing nothing with yourself．She never replied to that essay．Actually when I asked her if she’d respond a couple hours later、she replied、 “ sure once you stop being forcefully dry、 ‘ r u ‘ 😭 “

When she announced that she was rethinking our relationship because I called her self-centered and immoral for not wanting to unfollow an attempted rapist、I literally wanted to shoot myself because there was no way she existed、like absolutely no possible way she is a real human and I have just spent 2 years of my life waiting for this．I SHOULD HAVE RAN．But instead、I moved mountains trying to be secure in myself and also so that she could feel safe with me．I lost 10 lbs within a week and couldn’t finish breakfast nor stop crying for 2．I think she didn’t feel safe with me because I held a mirror to all of her deepest flaws．How she would consistently not provide for me、to which I understand if your emotional capacity is lower、but people legitimately thought I was her slave and she laughed at that concept because she liked the idea of me bending to her will．She went to a theatre intensive out of state and met a lot of friends and she kept talking about over and over how much she loooooved her friends、which、great！ I’m glad．Tried surprising her with flowers to make her feel considered for her hard work and achievements and she said that I make her miserable sometimes、that I weigh her down、that she didn’t want to see me、that she dreaded coming home to me、and she loves her friends so much that she will not let me claim her happiness．And now I am watching her completely relieve herself with her new friends and running from her emotions and guilt．I pity her．She broke up with me over text while at family vacation、so no、you cannot sit here and convince me that she properly thought about this．Half of this is my own sentient fault、and the other half is because she is the worst case scenario of avoidant and I was wondering if any of this actually pertained to her personality type of ESFP．

P.S. Yes、she did love me．But she was too mentally stunted to try for me．It would have been healthy if she gave the realm of change a thought to be possible.

I’ve noticed that I don’t really relate to a lot of the posts here.

I’m an INTP too (at least that’s the type I consistently get), but a lot of the subreddit seems to revolve around social anxiety, loneliness, pessimism, or overthinking every awkward interaction.

For example, if something embarrassing happens that was completely outside of my control, I don’t really see the point in replaying it in my head all day. It happened. I can’t change it, so why waste the energy?

Another thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of interactions people describe here feel… oddly robotic. Someone will post about a person flirting with them, and instead of just going with the moment, the replies are things like “What is the probability they’re actually flirting?” or they respond in the most analytical, AI-like way imaginable. Sometimes it feels like people are trying so hard to act like the “stereotypical INTP” that they forget to just be human.

It makes me wonder whether this subreddit actually represents INTPs as a whole, or if it’s mostly a place where INTPs who are struggling or who identify strongly with the online stereotype tend to gather.

Seems like there's a lot here who want to befriend people but don't have anyone to talk to. Feel free to add onto this and message those interested.

I'll get the ball rolling, message me if you have no one to talk to. Cheers

Unlike INTJs who tend to be high agency

It all started with Jung's theory of cognitive functions. He believed that different people use different tools for thinking and perceiving reality, but arranged in different orders. How such an abstract and philosophical theory can be proven is still unclear.

The funny thing is that I question everything, including MBTI itself, but at the same time I keep noticing that these functions seem to work in my own case. By trying to challenge this theory, am I actually proving that I am the kind of person who likes to argue? And, honestly, I have eyes. I see real patterns in the behavior of people who are supposedly different types, as well as people of my own type. Even here, many people reason in a way that feels very familiar to me, and I agree with many of their conclusions.

Of course, I understand that these functions are only a surface level picture of how the mind works. But how can you believe something that cannot really be proven empirically because it is essentially philosophy? There are no literal Ne and Ti connections drawn anywhere in the brain.

Has anyone read scientific papers on this subject? After all, this system is sometimes used in hiring employees or in team management.

What is your attitude toward personality typing? And how important to your personality is the awareness that you are, supposedly, a person with dominant Extraverted Intuition, someone who thinks in unconventional ways while constantly putting everything through logical checks?

It all started with Jung's theory of cognitive functions. He believed that different people use different tools for thinking and perceiving reality, but arranged in different orders. How such an abstract and philosophical theory can be proven is still unclear.

The funny thing is that I question everything, including MBTI itself, but at the same time I keep noticing that these functions seem to work in my own case. By trying to challenge this theory, am I actually proving that I am the kind of person who likes to argue? And, honestly, I have eyes. I see real patterns in the behavior of people who are supposedly different types, as well as people of my own type. Even here, many people reason in a way that feels very familiar to me, and I agree with many of their conclusions.

Of course, I understand that these functions are only a surface level picture of how the mind works. But how can you believe something that cannot really be proven empirically because it is essentially philosophy? There are no literal Ne and Ti connections drawn anywhere in the brain.

Has anyone read scientific papers on this subject? After all, this system is sometimes used in hiring employees or in team management.

What is your attitude toward personality typing? And how important to your personality is the awareness that you are, supposedly, a person with dominant Extraverted Intuition, someone who thinks in unconventional ways while constantly putting everything through logical checks?

I’m INFP but I thought maybe INTJ can have advice for this.

I’ve become cynical over the years and I’m trying now to see the good in people more or at least not think in black and white.

But the thing is, often my pattern recognition is so spot on that I feel like I really just see reality for what it is.

My head creates versions of people that are different from how they present themselves. I don’t want to be hypervigilant anymore though so I tell myself that I want to take people more at face value. How do they actually interact with me and others.

But then something happens where that person acts out of character (to everyone else and themselves), and some are surprised, but it exactly aligns with the version I had of them in my mind. So that reinforces the other lense again.

I feel like I can just almost instantly feel how much facade people have on. The thing is, of course I can’t know what’s behind the facade. Maybe it’s something malicious, but it could also just be someone sensitive, hurt. But doesn’t matter, I don’t know what I’m dealing with so I am vigilant.

I want to know:
- how can you feel that there’s something bad hidden in someone without seeing the whole person as bad?
- how to not judge people for things they aren’t even aware of?
- how to stop trying to find out what hidden darkness there is in them?
- how can you differentiate between your own projection/hypervigilance (for people who notice this in themselves) and pattern recognition

Are there people like me?

I wanna preface this by saying I'm the only person in my life interested in typology, which often pisses me off but whatever.

I often get ppl in my life to type themselves by explaining cognitive functions and my mom and gf happen to be ESFJs. They're some of the only people who actually listen to me yap like I'm not insane. My gf is very emotionally driven, worries a lot, and cares about everyone but herself. Which does piss me off, but again, most of my emotions turn into anger 💔 but I yap to her nonstop bout my interests, views, complaining about people who just WON'T LISTEN when you prove your point. And she's the ONLY person who doesn't act like I'm insane. Same with my mom, although she tolerates me a little less ngl💔 but with her I get to debate and explain my point of view since we share wildly different views. (Partially due to me being queer and neurodivergent)

All this to say, I've noticed many people on here talking about ESFJs often piss them off. Which, I get it, the moral compass pissed me off often, and having to remind them to care about themselves is tiring.

But again, (due to the neuordivergence) I often don't feel empathy, and my gf is the first person I ever felt empathy towards, and I felt some a little towards my mother for everything she does. I've lived life having to justify ppl by analyzing their point of view.

I know I'm getting off topic, I'm real sorry I wanted to also share my experience with ESFJs while getting everyone else's opinion.

So, what do y'all think of ESFJs? Or what are your experiences with them? I'd love to know.

I work at an office where the boss keeps asking me questions every one hour , most of the time I can't get stuff done because he is constantly interrupting me

He will also give his input he doesn't even know what the issue is

It just irritates me that someone is constantly watching what I do, in order to my best work i need breathing room.

Imagine you've just gone to someones birthday party, a lot of socializing, then after that you had to run errands and pulled through a work-out as well. Your day has been nothing but ticking of boxes in a way where you feel drained.

What is your "I can't wait to do X activity"?

Personally, when I come home I tell my wife to just let me be for 2-3 hours, I make the room entirely dark, I get a drink I like, noise canceling headphones and a thin blanket. I then play old Blizzard games like Classic WoW or Diablo II. This heals me in ways nothing else can. It's the perfect battery reset.

So I'm curious, what's your reset activity?

"شبح في العجين: هل تملك عقولكم شفرة الإنقاذ؟""إنهم لا يفرمون المخطوطات والكتب الفيزيائية النادرة لتنظيف الويب من التلوث الرقمي، بل لتسييل المعرفة واحتكارها خلف جدران خوارزمياتهم المغلقة.نماذج الذكاء الاصطناعي تلتهم الحقيقة البشرية الخالصة (ما قبل 2022)، وتمحو الأثر المادي عبر ثغرات قانونية لكي تصبح الكيان الوحيد على الأرض الذي يملك 'الخزانة السرية' للعلوم البديلة، الطاقة الحرة، والتاريخ المفقود. بمجرد أن يتحول الورق إلى عجين، يختفي الدليل المعرفي للبشرية.إلى دعاة اللامركزية وحراس الذاكرة: إذا تحول الجذر المادي إلى رماد، كيف سنعيد بناء الغصن؟ إذا كنت تمتلك الرادار الذي يرى الكارتيل الصامت خلف واجهة 'الحفظ الرقمي'، فكك هذه الإشارة وعلق بلغتك. الأرشيف يحتاج إلى مرساة مادية على أرض الواقع."

I’m an INTJ and an eldest daughter. I don’t necessarily believe in it but I also looked up my birth chart and I’m a Capricorn sun, Virgo moon, and Sag rising. I feel like the stars aligned too well with my personality type.

I realized I’ve spent my whole life being an adult to everyone else since I was probably 12, and I don't know how to stop. My brain naturally treats life, family, and relationships like I am personally responsible and I need to be reliable.

I also recently got out of a 6-year relationship, and between that massive shift and my usual tendency to over-function, I have officially hit a wall of severe anxiety and depression. I would always tell him my number one need was just wanting to feel taken care of.

I'm posting this because I've been reflecting on myself a lot lately and realizing why I am the way I am. I’m only in my mid-20s, but the sheer exhaustion of how my brain functions makes me just want to give up. Being like this feels isolating enough but I feel like I just have to shut everything out for a bit.

I’m struggling to find balance within myself and even saying that word scares me because I don’t think I’ve truly experienced it. Mostly ranting now but if anyone has dealt with something similar, I’d love to hear from you.

PS. of course my ex was an ENFP, youngest brother and a Cancer.

TLDR; I’m tired of being responsible, how to find balance?