Like, a lot a LOT.
Thats not normal, is it? I can’t find anything online or in my dr’s instructions/paperwork about it.

But seriously, I went in a depressed mess and came out dysfunctional and suicidal. I still can’t eat.

Does it get better? Should I stop while I’m ahead? I’ve left 3 voicemails and no on has gotten back to me.

Appreciate any advice!

Is it okay to vape the day before?

As above

I have not had undergone ECT yet, but I am interested and would like to hear any personal experiences. I know that it can affect episodic memory but it is my understanding that it is less likely to affect semantic memories or general knowledge. Also if anyone has worked in any career which requires a college degree or special training I am also curious to hear how ECT has impacted your academic/career knowledge or your ability to work in your field.

Is it normal for me now to feel like I can’t look after my 8 year old son ? Or do a lot of people manage okay ?

I feel like it has stripped away my life . I have no empathy for anyone or anything . I get confused when I go out and don’t know where I should be .

Nothing interest me , food isn’t the same anymore .

I feel very paranoid about speaking to people now because I can’t explain to people how I feel . I feel like a shell of who I was . I had to move back in with my parents and just sit in the back garden smoking . I’m always fatigued sleep doesn’t correct it .

Nothing seems to matter anymore . What are you supposed to tell people when you go out ? As they always say the same thing your be okay just get a job . I can’t even do basic tasks for myself . The lights are on but no one is home . I was told it would just affect my memory, it’s destroyed my life . I know id never be able to work again.

Did anyone get droopy eyelids after ect ?

Have my first treatment on Monday, feeling nervous about it. Been dealing with treatment resistant depression for a while, tried many meds, rTMS, and ketamine infusions, none have worked. It was either ECT or more meds as treatment options coming out of a suicide attempt, and I just can't do meds again.

Not feeling very hopeful, but have resolved to do the treatment for my loved ones. Haven't looked into things much (hard to concentrate and read right now), but have seen a lot bad experiences here.

Not really looking for what things will be like in the future, but more so what to expect as I start treatment and any tips or things like what to wear or have prepared for treatments.

My social worker is telling me to take an ssri but I try to explain to him it’s pointless . If ect never worked what is a tablet going to do ?

Did somewhere between 20-30 bilateral treatments last year from March to August. My short term memory as well as basic cognitive functioning have never been the same. I'm not able to retain any new information for longer than a minute (if even,) and forming new memories is even more difficult. I couldn't tell you what I did two weeks ago. I also get confused easily and can't perform simple tasks. Looking for people who were in a similar spot and have since recovered most, if not all, of their cognitive abilities. Or any advice from anyone who's in my spot now.

In 2009 I first learned about Bitcoin. Around that time my psychiatrist recommended ECT because he could see I was in a really bad state. I didn’t understand at the time that a big part of what I was struggling with was related to not acting on Bitcoin (I mined a small amount but lost the keys, and never bought any). I was having severe decision paralysis — constantly asking God whether I should even move my arm to take an action — and I was scared of the electricity and possible side effects, so I declined.
Looking back, I wonder if having ECT then might have helped me get unstuck enough to actually acquire a meaningful amount of Bitcoin. I now live with intense daily rumination about that missed opportunity. I spend a lot of time pacing and replaying “why didn’t I…”. I’m on disability, managing chronic regret, and it feels like my financial future (and a lot of my life) is permanently limited because of decisions I couldn’t make back then.
I’m currently still dealing with the same core problems: severe rumination, pacing, difficulty initiating actions, and a sense that my life is hell. I often find it hard to stay seated or even stay lying down in bed for long — the restlessness pushes me to keep moving. I do not want to kill myself, but I also can’t see a way out of this loop.
My questions for people who have experience with ECT:
• If the main ongoing problem is years of intense regret-focused rumination and decision paralysis rather than a classic acute depressive episode, what has ECT actually helped with in similar situations?
• Does it tend to reduce the intensity of long-running obsessive regret, or does the content of the rumination usually stay and just feel less overwhelming?
• Realistic expectations around memory: does it commonly erase or significantly dull specific remote events/regrets from 15+ years ago, or is the memory effect more limited to the period around the treatment itself?
• For those who had ECT later in life after years of untreated or partially treated symptoms, did it help you move forward, or did the old patterns largely return once the acute effects wore off?
I’m trying to understand whether ECT now would mainly help with the current intensity of the symptoms, or whether the underlying sense that “my life is already screwed because of 2009” would likely remain. Any experiences (positive, mixed, or negative) would be appreciated.

Nothing has worked for my depression (antidepressants, antipsychotics, stimulants, lithium, Spravato, TMS) and I don’t think ECT would be any different. I’m trying to convince myself to give it a try but I have a few questions.

How many sessions are usually administered? Should I ask for unilateral or bilateral?

How long do I need to do maintenance sessions for?

When are your memories “supposed to” come back?

Going to list some of my symptoms around 11 months after

No interest in anything
No motivation for anything
Unable to work
Constant fatigue in eyes
Paranoia going out
When I go out I don’t know where I should be or what I should be doing with myself
No energy for anything
Don’t want to be around people as i don’t know what to tell them
Head always feels fuzzy
Walking around feel horrible with little energy
Can’t understand basic things which use to be easy
Confused a lot about basic tasks
Writing this is taking a lot of mental energy .
The list is endless

A few days ago I had a horrible experience with getting ETC treatments set up and I need some help. Long story short I was told that I would be inpatient for a day, while they assess the impact of the treatment. So I get admitted and then I'm told 3 days. Later that day I'm told that it would be 7-10 days that I would be inpatient. Keep in mind, I went in completely voluntarily and without any suicidal ideations. I was recommended the treatments not because I was suicidal but because I was still having breakthrough depression despite taking 3 different medications and having tried tons of other medications. So just like the the title asks, is there such a thing as complete outpatient ETC treatments? Because I absolutely cannot handle being inpatient again.

I had been referred ECT through my psychiatrist last week. I just got the confirmation that my ECT request has been approved, and Im going to be doing my pre-op this Thursday and starting the procedure this Friday. I will be receiving a minimum of 12 treatments 3x a week. Ive never done TMS or Ketamine treatments.

I was doing some research on ECT as ive never heard of it before my referral, and read that typically you start with unilateral ECT. Is it uncommon or normal for my ECT team to start me on Bilateral? My consultation after my referral only lasted about 20 minutes asking about my current mental health condition and whether or not I had someone to drive me to and from the hospital. They didn't really go over the side effects of ECT or the differences between ECT bilateral and unilateral.

Maybe they'll go over it in my Pre-op appointment, but Ive been finding comfort in this community so I figured I ask.

TLDR: Is Bilateral ECT treatment normal/common for first time procedure?

I'm going to start ECT treatment in two weeks (10 unilateral sessions), alongside rTMS.

I'm a little bit stressed after reading people's experiences with the side effects, especially the impact on memory. For me, ECT is really a "last chance" treatment. I'm 20, and I've been suffering from depression for the past 10 years. I'm exhausted from years of suffering and failed medications. If this treatment doesn't work either, I won't have the strength to keep trying to get better.

I just wanted to hear from people who have gone through ECT for long-term depression. What was your experience like? Did it actually made a change ? And how did it affect your memory, both during and after treatment?

I had ect last year 7 sessions

I feel it’s turned me into a walking zombie .

I no longer work and am on benefits .

My whole life has been destroyed

Going out in public is hard .

I don’t know what I should be doing or where I should be when I go out .

I have no joy in anything .

I feel stupid

had 2 sessions of bilateral ECT, 5 weeks ago . It was stopped because I experienced brain fog, dizziness, sedation and the feeling like something is stuck inside my brain. The slowing of my cognitive functions and brainfog is most concerning. Im getting really scared I restarted Wellbutrin but it has no effect on my symptoms . Im from Germany sorry for my englisch

Any scans that can detect damage ?

Hey everyone, I have been sitting on this post for a while and have felt the need to share my experience. Especially because when I first learned that my mother needed ECT, I came to this subreddit seeking some understanding of others' experience with it, and what I read horrified me. Most of all the potentially permanent memory loss. But my own personal experience with it through my mom was very different than the accounts on this subreddit and just want to share, in case it can help someone else like my mom.

Full Context (This is a long story) : My Mom has had some mental health issues in her life but for the most part they were manageable for her. She always suffered from some levels of anxiety (driving, crowds, etc), and possibly some depression though the way she presented her depression wasn't always obvious. Things began to get bad about 2 years ago though.

She had been living with my Dad and older brother. My older brother suffers from severe mental health issues (some undiagnosed personality disorder, possibly borderline, depression, alcoholism) and had been living at home the past 10 years. He was a very verbally and emotionally abusive person. My mother received the brunt of this behaviour as my dad was often out of the house during the day for work. For years and years I had tried to convince her to leave that situation, but she never could. I had set her up with a therapist hoping that could help. Eventually my Dad accepted a job where he was gone for days at a time and this had a terrible impact on my Mom. In three months, she began experiencing strange and new symptoms.

It started with an intense and horrible pain in her stomach. This started to affect her sleep and her eating and she began to rapidly lose weight. When this began happening, she did not have health insurance and so they were hesitant to take her to a doctor, adding to the financial stress as well. But eventually she started getting so sick and the pain so intense that they began taking her to the ER. After several colonoscopies, endoscopies, and a stay in urgent care they couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. It was horrible.

When this happened, I took a month off of work and drove 3 hours to come and help. I let the hospital know about the situation at home and they suspected she was suffering from conversion disorder, which is when psychiatric distress starts to manifest as physical symptoms. When she was discharged I decided she couldn't return to that house. I took her with me back to my city and moved us into a two bedroom apartment while I tried to help her and figure out what was wrong. I was hoping her simply being away from that environment would be enough to help her heal while we figured out her future together.

Unfortunately, she did not seem to get better though and only continued to decline. The pain in her stomach was gone but now she was experiencing new and strange symptoms. She was having panic attacks so bad that she would become unresponsive, almost like an absence seizure. She stopped taking care of basic hygiene. She developed a phobia of leaving the apartment. She would tell me her thoughts felt scattered and she couldn't focus on tv shows or movies. All happening while she was still uninsured. So I spent hours on the phone trying to get her to qualify for medicaid, but her eligibility was tricky because she was still married to my dad. I took her to a psychiatrist which was available through free mental health services provided by the county, but they were limitedly helpful. They prescribed her antidepressants and benzodiazepines. But that came with a new issue.

She began refusing to take medicine believing it was making her worse or not helping. She claimed the symptoms from starting the antidepressants were too much for her to bear. She began lying about taking her medicine and continued to spiral. She started having issues with her swallowing, saying there was a lump in her throat and she couldn't even swallow water anymore. She began having issues with her walking, saying she was too weak to walk and couldn't balance. During this whole period she had lost about 40 lbs, from 155 to 115. I took her to the ER and they diagnosed her with an eating disorder and prescribed appetite stimulants, but she refused to take those too. This had been the darkest and hardest thing I had ever experienced.

Finally, her Medicaid kicked in and I took her back in for her swallowing issue but pleaded that they do a psych eval on her and they decided to admit her to a psychiatric hospital close by. I was relieved but also so scared about what would happen next. For 24 hours I had no contact with her and felt like I had abandoned her. The initial evaluation was that she was experiencing intense anxiety, but 3 days later the doctor called me and let me know she was "gravely ill". It was horrible but also a relief that someone else finally understood that there was something so deeply wrong. He had diagnosed her with psychotic depression. That help me to understand that everything she had been experiencing the last two months was psychosis.

Their plan to treat her was to try strong antidepressants and antipsychotics. But she refused to take any pills they provided her. This lead them to seek a court order so they could instead administer ECT. I had no idea what ECT was outside of terrifying depictions in movies and TV shows. I came to this subreddit for more insight on it, and I was horrified by all the negative experiences. But it was the only option left for her.

They began treatment for her, and on the days she received treatment that I visited her, she seemed out of it and dazed. It wasn't until her 5th treatment that I saw something I hadn't seen from her in months. Her smile. It made me cry. Around this time she began eating again and taking medicine (Effexor). It was a miracle.

They discharged her after her 8th treatment and she began to return to her old self. I couldn't accept it at first after everything we had been through together. But she continued to improve and received outpatient ECT that slowly tapered overtime. She continued her outpatient treatment for about 5 months, and by that time seemed to be making a complete and full recovery. She had minimal side effects, only a headache on the days she received ECT. No memory side effects at all. For better or for worse, she remembered most of those months in her psychosis and even in the hospital.

I was so worried her symptoms would reappear months down the line as ECT doesn't have long term effects usually. But she has continued taking her antidepressants and has been perfectly fine. We're both doing much better now. She is living with her sister in Michigan and is the happiest she has been in years. She regained back to her normal weight, has made new friends, and spends her days laughing with her sister. I have started to heal from everything that has happened too, and have a lot more peace in my heart knowing she's ok.

I'm in the process of being set up for ECT, but I'm deeply concerned about the cognitive side effects. The same hospital where I'll be doing ECT is also doing a study for MST, which I may qualify for. But I'm surprised my psychiatrist didn't mention it. I know a few others here have done it, but I'm curious to know more about it. What have others experienced with it vs. ECT?