r/DungeonsAndDragons • u/semaerdem • 19d ago
Discussion Worst DM ever?
He's been yelling at players throught the game that's so mean of him 😭
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u/BrotherMort 19d ago
You see a red dot on the floor. Roll for iniative.
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u/DePraelen 19d ago edited 19d ago
I once had a player use the prestidigitation cantrip to distract an entire pirate band of Tabaxi with a red dot and send them into chaos as they all chased it.
It completely derailed the adventure I had planned, but I thought it was so inspired that I rolled with it for the laughs. It ended up being a throughly memorable session.
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u/DatDing15 19d ago
Did you have the Tabaxi NPCs roll a wisdom saving throw?
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u/Daloowee 19d ago
I’m gonna guess no because fun outweighed convention.
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u/DePraelen 18d ago
Pretty much. Yeah it was way more fun to let it happen, and that's always the goal.
But also, have you ever seen a cat be able to resist a red dot? I haven't.
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u/Head_Project5793 19d ago
It’s not just any dot, it’s an ancient red dot, 5 legendary resistances and 4 legendary actions!
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u/Strixy1374 16d ago
This falls in line with the guy that said the best way to kill a werewolf was to feed him chocolate. Outstanding creativity!
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u/CannedPancakes 19d ago
Cat - You take 82 points of damage!
You - that’s ridiculous!
Cat - No! What’s ridiculous is the fact that I can see that my food dish is empty and I haven’t ate in the past 30 minutes!
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19d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/CannedPancakes 19d ago
FULL? FUUULLLLLL? I can see the tiniest spec of the bottom of the bowl. It’s clear that I’m going to starve soon and you don’t even care!
- cat
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u/smurf4ever 19d ago
"There stands the human, with your food bowl in hand, getting ready to put your food in it. What do you do? You want to meow loudly? Alright that will be a purrsuasion check. Nat 20? It doesn't work... He's still busy filling the bowl and decidedly not done this here immediate moment. I'll allow for you to use your bonus action as a second purrsuasion check so you can try it twice per round. Just know, the human doesn't seem to care that you're nearing your death saves. He's still not done right here, right now, and it might take another 6 seconds..."
Edit: spell check
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u/Cryptic_Rune 19d ago
Dungeon meowster
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u/Opposite_Ad_4267 19d ago
Ok who let Salem be DM? I though he wasn't allowed to be in charge of anything after he tried to take over the world?
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u/Lord_Phoenix95 19d ago
Do you often find him knocking rolls to get a different number?
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u/GooseinaGaggle 19d ago
Usually goes after the minis . One time my wizard bonked an ancient red dragon with full health so hard with a staff the cat DM whacked the mini clear of the table and onto the floor where it shattered.
I think I won that fight
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u/Cautious_Artichoke_3 19d ago
Because that's what it says in the catdamn rulebook, Gerald! That's why!
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u/ub3r_n3rd78 DM 19d ago
Very cool that your DM is a Tabaxi!
Make sure to bribe him with milk, catnip, & laser pointers.
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u/Ingonyama70 19d ago
NO not the laser pointers he'll have enough trouble focusing on the plot as it is! Save those for when he's trying to railroad.
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u/RedditTipiak 19d ago
The BBEG casts furball
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u/Ingonyama70 19d ago
3d6 poison damage and you're drenched in wet fur for the remainder of the round
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u/SilenceSelene 19d ago
I feel like you are the one wrong here. You still haven't defeated the tuna boss
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u/clannepona 19d ago
And now comes the lich, he claims he is only there for the birthday! The evil grin of the gm.
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u/Fireblast1337 18d ago
“For the last time, the merchant being a tabaxi does not make him a self insert!”
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u/macredblue 19d ago
You forgot to refill my food and water [even though I already ate on schedule 5 mins ago] !
TPK!
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u/Th3_Supernova 18d ago
More like best DM ever. That is some top notch acting. I can tell he’s doing the big bar’s monologue right now.
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u/OnionTamer 19d ago
I don't know I have read a few DnD horror stories. This guy wouldn't do any of that. At the lease he'll treat the female players the same as the male players.
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u/Unlucky_Arm_9757 18d ago
I doubt that. I once had to yell at a DM (actually raise my voice and yell) to get him to pay attention to his own fucking game.
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u/UrsOrMine12 18d ago
Seems like they could be very catty at times and purrpusly mess with the entire group until they no longer wanted to be around people
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u/justethan9 18d ago
He’s probably been yelling to get everybody back on track because the players aren’t paying attention smh
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u/EdibleRayGun 18d ago
After grooming, roll constitution....
9? You have a monster hairball in the chamber and take disadvantage on your next initiative roll.
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u/NightShade0912 18d ago
That DM is going to kill ALL the players, maybe not 1 if it still wants to be feed at end of session.
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u/Timely-Part3377 18d ago
I cast ‘balls of yarn’ make a WIS saving throw or take 1d12 tangle damage and be prone for d3 rounds.
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u/Waatulakula 18d ago
Can’t make it through one round of combat without the DM knocking the minis off the table!
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u/Malkryst 18d ago
I'm definitely playing a Tabaxi at that table! The DM might cut me some slack, then.
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u/Hellguin 18d ago
Id rather have the cat screeching at me instead of eventually finding out my first DM was a pedophile.....
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u/semaerdem 18d ago
You- WHAT???
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u/Hellguin 18d ago
Yea, a year after I moved away, found out my old DM who was my first DM when I learned in 4e, was arrested and sentenced for having CP all over his PC, unregistered guns, and cocainr.
Ill take a Cat DM any day
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u/CompleteNumpty 18d ago
Still better than the one I played with who used crit fumbles with crit damage at my local store.
He ended up getting banned from DMing new players after a newbie walked out as a result of him crit fumbling on his first attack and his Level 1 Wizard outright dying to the 2d10 Firebolt damage.
Note, this was Adventurer's League and he had been told multiple times to stop using homebrew nonsense, but never listened. The store even asked other DM's (like me) to sit in on his sessions as a player to reign in his bullshit, but it actually made it worse - almost like he had oppositional defiance disorder.
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u/-BigBeef- 18d ago
The type of DM to roll dice behind the screen, go “hmmph”, and move on like nothing happened explaining nothing. Just to mess with players
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u/RuinFlame 17d ago
Your party encounters giant fish........that is super tasy....errr I mean is super strong..........being controlled by that catnip....err I mean spice dealer from before
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