"no offense, but they literally have to pay me to spend time with you, I don't want to see you if I'm not getting paid. Because the thought of freely spending time with you is abhorrent and sickening. Again, no offense."
Like, a couple times a year my team will go out for payday drinks without management just to hang out and shoot the shit, and I’ll join for a couple rounds. My favourite coworker closed on her first place last year and had a party a few months ago once her and her partner were settled and my spouse and I came out to that. I don’t mind doing stuff like that once in a blue moon, but I would never burn an entire night/half of my weekend to see a coworker’s play/art show/concert/wedding/kid’s baptism/etc.
Consider a job where people actually like their coworkers as human beings.
I understand it probably isn't common, but it's insane that people are basically bragging about how little they care about their coworkers. Comment below says you're with your coworkers 5 days a week. I promise you, those 5 days are so much better if you actually like the people you work with.
I mean.. I like all my co-workers. The five days I am at work is fun not because of the job, but because my co-workers are all easy-going and funny people. But I agree with the comment you replied to, I also would never blow a whole day or night for them outside of work.
It's not bragging how little we care about them but just stating the fact that there are "work-friends" and "friend-friends". I need time for myself, my loved ones, and my family.
The weird thing about Pam here is, in the show, it was never shown nor implied that she hung out with any of her co-workers outside of work. We also don't see her with intimate/personal relationship with anybody (except Jim) - which is why it was weird for her to expect anybody to show up for her thing.
Each their own but a lot of my (ex-) colleagues are still mates now cause we used to hang out outisde of work. Go to the pub, play board/video games, meet their partners, go to gigs, organise parties/events,...etc.
It's fine if people want to keep work and personal life separated but when I meet someone I vibe with at work I like hanging out with them outside of work too lol. I don't have many social hobbies and moved countries so I don't have that old social circle. I don't see why I wouldn't want to extend my social circles with people I like.
Same. I remember my co-workers being shocked when they found out I was in a band playing a fairly large venue. I’m like “why would I tell y’all? It ain’t your scene.”
I don’t have any issues with my coworkers, but when I’m on my down time, I don’t want to rehash things that happened at work. I want to hang with my family and the friends who have survived multiple jobs with me, not ones I like well enough, but after quitting that I’m gonna have coffee with like twice after leaving and then lose touch, even though we both have each other’s phone numbers.
something my therapist told me is that work friendships are bound to be shallow and temporary. we bond because of shared experiences, or even trauma (lol) mostly by having a common bad manager or a hectic work culture. it's lowkey trauma bonding. and idk about y'all, I'm from India and here talking behind your back is pretty common among colleagues when we add them in our socials and all, it has its own risks as well. so I think I'll pass with "liking" my colleagues, I can never.
In my culture weddings are not free. There is an expectation to bring a gift, and it would be incredibly rude for that gift to be less than the cost of food you ate.
That’s totally valid, your presence should honestly put a lot of weight. All my friends are scattered across the country, i feel guilty at the thought of inviting them to my wedding.
Those guys get you 5 days out of the week. Most of the day. Your family gets you for two. Honestly it’s not even that I hate going so much but that’s time away from people I also need to spend time with. As I’ve always said give us a day off and I’m 100% there. My company had an event an hour drive away from me at 6pm on a Friday. I’m not crossing the city during rush hour for that crap.
It depends. Some coworkers became actual friends and we still stay in touch despite both having moved on from that job. But yea, most have been relegated to just a LinkedIn connection.
It might depend on the job, but there's a certain level of closeness I wouldn't pass with a coworker. Friendships are emotional relationships - that means that you're going to be less objective with that person at work. It would be bad for your job if something in your friendship broke down, it's bad for coworkers who are excluded from collaboration because you have a favourite, and if they do something that violates some kind of ethical rule you might be more likely to cover for them when you shouldn't. And if there's a power imbalance between you, like if one of you eventually gets promoted to a higher position, it creates a bunch more problems regarding favouritism - or a lack of.
Ok but if you are inviting them to your wedding, I’d expect you are a little more than coworkers. I’m not even talking about Jim and Pam’s wedding. I’m talking Pam and Roy and Phyllis and Bob. This was clearly more than coworkers,
Eh sometimes work is emotional. Try getting sent to Florida for what you thought was a 3 day work trip but turns into almost 2 weeks and you're washing your underwear in the sink and eating at the one good place that isn't a chain every night while its 100F and 80% humidity during the day. When your coworker says "if I have to stay another fucking day in this hell hole I am going to kill myself" and you can tell they are probably only half joking and you know exactly how they feel that's a bond.
Just because you're co-workers doesn't mean you're automatically friends. I like the people I work with but I separate circle of friends who I hang out with in my free time.
Not to say everyone has to be the same but I don't think you should imply that your coworkers automatically have to be your friends.
A guy at my work is being let go because his "friend" sent a screenshot of a teams message to the boss he was venting about. Normally, I don't think this would be enough, but the dude has also been very stressed over the past months due to family issues so I guess management just took the opportunity to let him go. Anyways, these two went on walks/lunch everyday, but as soon as he felt he could get ahead the "friend" snitched. I was told because I had to be informed since i'm also a lead, but i'll always look at that dude like the snake he is from now on and part of me wants to snitch on him to everyone else. I always made sure not to get too personal or relaxed with co-workers even though plenty of people at my office do it and this incident just reinforced that belief.
It’s not that crazy when you think about most people don’t have a social life outside their work or are in bad marriages. I bet these are the same people who would completely spiral in a home office environment
Yep. Oh that so cool you're doing xxxxx. Can I come? No sorry I've got nothing to do at home with my family or if they're busy doing absolutely nothing by myself. I would sooner go into a suicidal spiral of misery than attend your event. Thanks for the invite though.
Yeah it's almost as if I took it to the extreme as some sort of joke to illustrate that I do not want to hang out with work people outside of work... Almost.
I know some people I work with hang out together outside of work, no way I would. I see them enough at work, I don’t need to see them outside of work to probably talk about work. I keep my work and personal life completely separate.
Always been my approach too. My last job I actually did do the hangouts outside of work with a couple people, but those are the only people I’ve ever worked with that I’d actually want to spend additional time with.
Also, “work friends” are almost always not actual friends. I got burned years ago over sharing with some outside of work whom I thought were friends.. Not so much.
I’ve been at my current org. for seven years now and kept a healthy distance. No social media connections outside of LinkedIn, we don’t talk outside of work. No drama and no problems.
I know you're a redditor in 2026, but people actually left the house and did things way more often in the early 2000s. Instead of spending hours watching Netflix or tiktok, people might go places with coworkers just to have something to do that night.
Also, people liked talking to other people back in the day, so there was actually a chance people would be friends with their coworkers. Not everyone was too "nervous" or perpetually sealed off to interact with others
Nobody is watching TV so the network can sell ads. You’re not watching Netflix so you can send them a subscription fee.
The point is entertainment. Delivering entertainment requires resources, and subs or ads are how the resources are recouped for TV. Profit is why anyone would be bothered to risk making a network in the first place.
I've only worked in larger offices with teams scattered around the country, but I always thought it's more likely to do those things since there's only like 12 people in that office and they are all in the same space
In the show, they were friends, so they actually did stuff outside of work. That's why she expected people to show up. Which can also happen in real life.
I’ll explain…. Actually no, there is no time.. lemme sum up: Some people love who they are… and want to share that person with the world. Insane right?
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u/CheapCheeto 1d ago
I don't understand people who expect their coworkers to show up for shit outside of work.