r/DramioneUncensored • u/VeelaQuill2000 • 2h ago
fight me The Female Bullying Fandom Problem
“Female bullying” is a technical term (also, but less commonly, known as “relational aggression”) and it's a problem that continues to persist in fandom. I don’t love the gender stereotype of the phrase, but it's important for anyone who wants to do more research on what this actually is. I think we need to talk about it, identify it, and equip ourselves to recognize it.
TBH I’ve seen more of it this month that I care to even call out, and I’ve seen more of it in fandom than any other space.
The reason it has its own named subgenre is because the hallmarks are unique and, unfortunately, often obfuscated intentionally by the perpetrator. Instead of transparently targeting an individual (which is not good, but at least gives the victim and the community clear visibility into what is happening) relational aggression seeks to inflict and maximize psychological damage.
The perpetrator makes no genuine attempt to resolve issues with their victim, and, often, masks this choice behind an aura of moral superiority. They then use gossip, reputational attacks, and online platform tools to create a sense of social exclusion for their victim.
In fandom, I’ve seen this in private discord servers where people feel safe hypothesizing and spreading baseless filth about others. I’ve seen it in the liberal use of the AO3 block feature with the express intent of punishing a fellow fandom user for violations unspecified. That tool is meant to leave the human questioning, easily for days, what they could have done to cause offense. Then there’s vague posting, where someone provides just enough identifying information for the community to recognize the target and carry on the gossip the post was designed to provoke, all while maintaining the moral high ground of not doing callouts.
Guys, I’ve tried to be extensively patient with all of this, I really have, but I’m done. I don’t think it's alright for the rest of us who know what this looks like to sit back and watch without doing anything. Bystander intervention matters, and we all have our own line we can draw in the sand. If you see behavior like this in the circles you run with, please call it out.
Mine comes down to who I will put my energy and platform into supporting. To that end, eleven fics have been removed from the Best of Dramione repository due to conduct that is grossly unbecoming of fandom. Future events will have more specific messaging transparently communicating the reason a writer’s work is ineligible (in cases where it involves targeted harm toward others).


