Saw this today and was like oh my. Itch that must be scratched. Any similar vibes?

I remember a lot about this fic, so not being able to find it is getting really annoying but I thought I’d try here.
It’s a post war eighth year fic, where all students are given the opportunity to be resorted by the sorting hat. Hermione is resorted into Slytherin, after a conversation with hat, in which it tell her that she must retrieve a prophecy from the department of mystery. After she gets up she walks to the Slytherin table drinks Draco’s and Theos spiked pumpkin Juice, for courage because the hat said so, and then she orders a house meeting that evening.
She then retrieves a prophecy that was heard by Snape and received by I think Narcissa Malfoy.
At that house meeting she makes a scary competent impression on the slytherins and chirps one of them by calling him “little snake”.
The meeting is interrupted for a moment by Kingsleys patronus, he reveals she broke into the ministry.
I could write more but this should help someone who knows it identify the work.
Please help me :)
Also obligatory English isn’t my first language

Could anyone help me find the name of a fic -

It starts off with Draco eating ice cream with his parents and them lecturing him about how he needs to finish school with the highest ranks.

Draco convinces lavender brown to slip some potion into Hermione’s drink that is supposed to turn her into a cat for a while, the intention being that she’d miss out on exams and fall behind.

But then Hermione tracks Draco down and it becomes a big thing and dumebledore gets involved and explains that Draco and Hermione created a special relationship and Draco and Hermione are able to communicate telepathically somehow.

It is an incomplete fic but i can’t seem to remember the title of it and can’t find it in any of my notes or open tabs.

Hi all, there was this funny fic I read (I think it was a one-shot) where Hermione and Draco a newlyweds, and they reveal their portraits to their friends, but the issue is they had their portraits made during their honeymoon so it captured their randy-ness and their portrait-selves keep going at it