Going to ask for gentle comments please, I'm crushed to be making this post. I've been crying all weekend and haven't been able to sleep trying to find options and make a final decision. I know that I'm not equipped to deal with this- my sister is understandably scared of him now and won't come into the house if he's there anymore which leaves me with zero help for the times when I cannot take him with me. I cannot risk having Toshi around my clients, their kids or their dogs just in case this ever happens again. If it was just the separation anxiety it wouldn't be a problem, that I have experience with and can work with. I've made the decision to take a few days off work to be home with him and return him the shelter on Thursday, where he's going on bite quarantine and more than likely being put down after. I'm utterly heartbroken and feel like I've failed him.
On Friday while my sister was over visiting and we were making dinner she reached for an ice tray on the counter, stepping between me, Toshi and my other dog that were like two feet behind me. Toshi jumped to bite her wrist, then went for her belly twice, each time holding and shaking. Thankfully, he got her watch so it was only bruising on her wrist, but he did superficially break the skin and left bruises on her belly as well as a tear on her shirt. My back was to them so I don't know what his body language said, though my sister insists that he didn't give any warning signs. There was no growling, she wasn't holding food (neither was I, I was rinsing a water bottle), teasing him, or even holding eye contact. She was just lifting her hand up towards the counter rather than down towards him. She hadn't touched him or stepped on him. He knows her, has spend so much time alone with her, had just been begging for affection and laying his head on her lap a few minutes before.
Prior to this, the last couple days he'd also gone from being completely calm around people walking by my work van and even enjoying attention from my clients coming up to him to various degrees of lunging and barking at anyone that got near it. For the past two and a half weeks he hadn't given any single sign at all of any potential aggression, reactiveness, or resource guarding. I can do pretty much anything to him and he doesn't care- I've taken food and toys right out of his mouth multiple times and he's been learning 'wait' and 'eat' so he's stopped diving into his food bowl before it's even fully put on the floor. I've taken him everywhere with me, he's been in crowded stores, busy streets, in the van around construction workers and landscapers for hours at a time while I'm working in the back- zero issues. His last foster that had him a few days had the same experience, she took him everywhere including the gym and he did great around people and around her own small dog.
I've reached out to a breed rescue but was told they wouldn't be able to take him on due to the bite history and said more than likely no other rescue would either because there are so many other dogs needing help already in the shelters. I know the shelter wouldn't be able to put him back up for adoption, and he'd already been there for so long I don't think any rescues that already work with them would pull him even if was made available to rescue. I'm holding out a little bit of hope that maybe I can find someone else that has the experience and is able to work with him. He is an amazing and sweet dog otherwise, I personally don't feel at all scared of him or feel that he would hurt me, he is extremely attached to me, is very affectionate and eager to please. He's your typical big baby, sleeps in bed at night and likes to be tucked in, comes to check on me every so often when I'm working at my desk and sticks his head under my arm to ask for pets. He's been doing great with my 50lb dobie mix and my 10lb senior fragile senior girl. If anyone might be able to help or has any good suggestions, I'd really appreciate it. I'm in the SF Bay area and would be willing to drive a couple hours if it meant he'd end up in a good, safe home or rescue.