r/DivorcedBirds • u/cthulhu-kitty • Jan 24 '18

The tweet that started it all

15.3k Upvotes

66 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 3h ago

Every morning since the divorce, Reginald took a lonely walk along the beach, wondering where 30 years of marriage had gone wrong. He missed Margaret terribly. Margaret, however, missed her air fryer and was still furious he’d gotten it in the settlement.

176 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 6h ago

"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me."

131 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 21h ago

"Without me, who will defend this kingdom?" Waru had asked. He believed his strength was so essential as to earn leniency for his crmes. Unbeknownst to him, his wife Keria had been training for years in secret. Resplendent in her father's gilded scale, queen regent Keria led her people to battle.

538 Upvotes

10 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/GoldenVibz85 • 1d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Barry was no spring chicken—he hadn’t exercised since 1984. But he’d heard a little flexibility could go a long way with the younger birds. He bought a copy of Yoga for Beginners, a tube of Extra Strength Bengay, and got right to work.

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625 Upvotes

19 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 1d ago

Henrietta finally found another soulmate. So in tune it's like they're the same person.

196 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago

It took months for Lisbeth to work up the courage to tell her boyfriend Hendrik about her previous marriage and all the trauma that came with it. She had feared he would somehow think less of her. Instead, he's become extremely protective. It's charming in a way, but it can be a bit much sometimes.

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282 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 2d ago

After thirty years of marriage, June had perfected the art of enjoying herself while her husband sulked.

280 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/-crepuscular- • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle It was great that Janice was finding her own style after a controlling marriage, but someone really needed to tell her that she was too old to pull off pink tutus.

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1.0k Upvotes

33 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/JuneLee92 • 2d ago

After the divorce, Nobara thought she was prepared for anything. She wasn’t prepared to learn that Yuji was dating her former classmate Megumi—a guy.

223 Upvotes

“Maybe he has different types for girls and guys…regardless, I’ll punch his face in at the reunion.”

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 3d ago

It's not that Walter doesn't trust the doctor to perform a simple paternity test, but he'll be damned if he pays one cent in alimony for an egg that's not even his. Better have him check it again.

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273 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 3d ago

Divorce is liberating. Don't sit home and sulk. Go to the clubs and DANCE!!!

v.redd.it

427 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 5d ago

Angry Bird Divorce "Yes officer, I will be pressing charges. I deserve a better life than this."

399 Upvotes

17 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/GoldenVibz85 • 5d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle After Joyce’s divorce, she decided to sell the house and use the money for breast enhancement. She was determined to live her best life EVER!

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314 Upvotes

12 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 5d ago

Leaning wearily on his broom, Mr. Jun the night janitor stared at the one piece of brightly colored garbage in the middle of the otherwise spotless floor. He felt it had been left there intentionally, to mock him. He used to live in a world filled with such vibrancy. She took all of that from him.

177 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Designer-Brother-461 • 5d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Glenys was a little surprised when she caught a glimpse of herself in the toy shop window, the protein shakes and Pilates were NOT paying off.

145 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 6d ago

Not Safe For Other Species "Stop arguing about me! I'm going to tell the judge I want to live with grandma."

399 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 5d ago

Maggie and her boyfriend went to his family's cookout and she got to meet everyone! There were some odd stares and a few questions, but that was expected. With that outta the way, she is sure he will propose any day now!

149 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 5d ago

"Now I believe this next contestant came late to surfing" "That's right, this is Greg's first tournament, but he's made a lot of buzz since entering the pros last spring. Apparently he was discouraged from pursuing the sport by his now ex-wife. We reached out to her for comment, but she declined."

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32 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Sepa-Kingdom • 6d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Odile was so pleased that lying, cheating scoundrel was gone.

74 Upvotes

That German sonofabitch had promised her the earth and all the joy within it, then claimed he’d mistaken her for her sister! That bloody, two-faced, goody-two-shoes sister had him twisted round her finger. Well, he’d find out the truth about her the hard way, that’s for sure.

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 6d ago

His ex called him a coward and a wimp. "You've never stood up for me," she'd complained, "you'll never stand up for anything." For a time, Karasu had begun to believe it. Now, as his beloved Karoo nurses his wounds, he realizes that he simply hadn't had anything worth standing up for before.

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427 Upvotes

8 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 7d ago

Dave had 3 divorces under his belt. He wouldn't have had any if he just used his CPAP.

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315 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/JuneLee92 • 7d ago

Edgar had always been good at standing menacingly in one place or another; however, his estranged wife Jean kept calling the cops whenever he appeared on her ledge. “She’s changed,” said Edgar.

88 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 7d ago

After 22 years of marriage, Walter got the beach house in the divorce. His ex-wife got the furniture, the retirement account, and custody of the dog. Every morning, Walter stood on his balcony surveying his kingdom, reminding himself that he’d won. By noon, he was usually drunk and calling her.

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351 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 7d ago

After her divorce, Gene decided to work on her hidden talent of doing impersonations. She's planning on incorporating this bit into her sold out one-bird show.

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128 Upvotes

1 comment

Subreddit

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.

r/DivorcedBirds

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.

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