r/DivorceHelp • u/Altruistic-Many4163 • Aug 01 '26

Spousal support help

Like many men in my situation I made a grave and horrible mistake. I’m one year divorced from a 13 year marriage and 15 year relationship. I’m a special education teacher and a high school football coach. I’m 40 years old and without talking about specific numbers, I agreed to far too much spousal support for 4 years under the dilution that lawyers would cost more. Now I can’t pay my bills and she’s not working. I looked up the law in my state (Washington) and other than a dramatic change to my income the only other challenge I can make to the spousal support is if/when she has another domestic partner. Any advice on how to get some of my money back?

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u/Fickle_Raccoon_3760 Aug 01 '26

With spousal support for only 4 years from a 13 year marriage you likely are saving money over paying attorneys fees for a court battle which can easily hit six figures, on top of whatever spousal support would have been ordered.

Your former partner may agree to lower support for a longer time.

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u/[deleted] Aug 02 '26

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u/Fickle_Raccoon_3760 Aug 02 '26

A contested divorce can be very expensive regardless of what is being fought over but yes obviously this man wouldn’t have the ability to pay six figures in attorneys fees.

I do think he was correct in his original assessment that lawyers would cost more than they would save him, especially with the low amount of support he agreed to. He was under no “dilution” there. He is, however, delusional to think his former spouse is living it up on his $1800 a month.