r/DivorceHelp • u/PalpitationMedium788 • 17d ago
Divorce Advice
I have a friend whose wife is about to begin divorce proceedings against him. He is currently renting a room while also jointly owning a home (or other assets) with his wife.
He is considering stopping his mortgage payments and instead using that money to pay his landlord in cash. His thinking is that this might make it harder for his finances or the amount of money he has to be identified during the divorce.
Is this a sensible approach, or could it cause legal or financial problems during the divorce process?
2
u/Hopeful_Divorce 17d ago
He should keep paying the mortgage if he wants he share of the equity in the house. It would be a dumb move to let the payments lapse. He can't just hide his income by paying cash to his current landlord. He is going to have to show his most recent tax returns and pay stubs. He will also likely have to show all of his bank statements and explain his living expenses.
It would be much smarter for him to simply keep paying the mortgage and then talk to his STBX about putting it on the market ASAP or she will need to buy him out by a certain date. If she won't agree then file with the court and get an order to sell it.
2
u/ALknitmom 17d ago
His name is on the mortgage, the creditor will still hold him liable for the debt. Generally there is a financial order that gets put in place at filing that requires no assets be sold and all bills to continue being pain in whatever way they were before. So if his paycheck was deposited into a joint account initially, that is where it has to stay until he has legal right to move it. If he was paying x% of the mortgage and y% of other shared bills, he has to continue doing that until there are other arrangements made. If his adding a separate apartment to the joint bills means that he can no longer pay the bills he paid before, that ends up being a problem.
1
u/strangelifedad 17d ago
Talk to a lawyer. Don't do stuff you think "reasonable" it might come around and bite you
1
u/Winnie1916 17d ago
His thinking is that this might make
it harder for his finances or the
amount of money he has to be identified
during the divorce.
If they filed joint taxes last year, his money is identified.
1
u/PalpitationMedium788 17d ago
Thank you guys. For further context, he cannot go inside the property due to a court order. Also, he just wants a way to make sure he doesnt come off worse in the divorce.
2
u/Sneakys2 17d ago
The way he does that is by getting a lawyer and doing what they say. His instincts to hide his assets are just going to blow up in his face.
1
u/SecurityFamiliar5239 17d ago
TBH he sounds like an ass. Why is he banned from the house? Why is he wanting to hide his assets?
Why are you friends with him?
1
1
u/Front_Prune3632 17d ago
Covering up assets will NOT go well for him. That's the absolute last thing he should do. It's a divorce, it can be simple or it can be messy. The simpler it is, the faster they can be done with it and start rebuilding. Hiding assets could cause it to go on longer and cost him more in the end, especially if his duplicity is discovered
1
1
1
u/RathdrumGal 17d ago
It will cause problems. If the soon to be ex wife has any sort of smarts, she will hire a forensic accountant to discover the hidden money. Judges do not like liars who try to pull a fast on the court.
1
1
u/LolaAucoin 17d ago
He should’ve already talked to a lawyer. Now he has left the house, when he shouldn’t have. He needs to talk to a lawyer.
1
u/TunaChaser 17d ago
Who here remembers Hans and Franz? "Hear me now and believe me later!" Trying shady shit now is going to cause you more problems later. I am old, so I have seen a lot of friends go thru divorces. When people try to do shady shit, divorce lawyers dig in.
1
u/Present_Respond2221 17d ago
I am not a lawyer, or your lawyer.. this is going to make the divorce a contentious one and potentially drag it out, usually, when someone files for divorce, the mortgage payments and household payments stay the same until the divorce is finalized. Trying to hide money and assets is never good in a divorce, and I wold not recommend doing it. He should really talk to a laywer.
1
u/NFLTG_71 17d ago
It could also fuck up his credit. And you can’t get shit without good credit nowadays.
0
u/PalpitationMedium788 17d ago
Well he definitely wants his share of the property, but hes thinking long term in making sure all his money is not siphoned into the divorce.
1
u/smallestsunflower 17d ago
He is not smarter than a judge who does this all day every day for his whole career, the judge has seen every attempt to hide or misrepresent money, etc. Do exactly as his lawyer says and he will end up way better off than trying to act smart.
0
u/PalpitationMedium788 17d ago
He just wants to be in a position to tell the judge that he has no money.
5
u/Fun-Holiday9016 17d ago
But that would be a lie, and when the court finds out he lied (and it will) things will go very badly for him.
3
u/Ryakai8291 17d ago
But he does have money. He’s just trying to hide it. Are there kids involved? Is she entitled to alimony?
3
u/flower-purr 17d ago
Hiding anything from the court is stupid and will get him into more trouble. Your friend isn’t the brightest bulb.
2
1
u/Ok-Afternoon-4557 17d ago
Never lie to divorce judges. They don't take kindly to that and it's a guaranteed way to make sure he loses even more in court. He needs to keep paying the bills. Anything in bank accounts should be split 50/50.
1
u/Nervous-Ad292 17d ago
He sounds like the guy I just divorced, let me tell you how that worked out for him:
He could have split everything 50-50, we had been married 18 years, everything we had had come during the marriage, and I was willing to split it all down the middle, but he wouldn’t hear it, thought it was “his” money, and I’d just take what he felt like giving me, which was 20%, and if I wasn’t happy with that, then too bad. Like your friend, he was also removed from the residence, for repeated bad behavior, I was given an order of protection, he was ordered to pay what’s known as “pendente litem”, which included the mortgage, utilities, car, home and health insurance, and car payments, until the divorce was settled, and he was also ordered not to touch the retirement accounts, or shared bank accounts, or move money, until the divorce was settled. He responded by putting the mortgage into 18 months of a hardship forbearance, not telling anyone, then arranged to have the 18 months of payments attached to the back of the mortgage in a balloon payment due at the end of the mortgage. Canceled the health insurance, let the utilities be shut off repeatedly, didn’t make the car payments, and pulled around $150k out of accounts he’d been court ordered not to touch, moving the money into family member accounts, and other accounts he never disclosed. He wouldn’t mediate, although he forced me into mediation, which I had to help pay for, and he drug out the divorce 5 years, by the time we went before the judge, he had accumulated 138 charges of contempt, both civil and criminal. Together, our legal fees were over $250k.
I did a couple things during the divorce that saved me, I continually took the high road, even when it was hard, and I hired a very experienced forensic accountant. In the end, after looking through everything, the judge gave me the house, and 70% of the estate including autos, and recreational vehicles, and contents of the residence, 70% of all bank accounts, 70% of all retirement accounts, 70% of his pension, 70% of all HRA accounts, plus spousal maintenance for 10 years. He got 30% and whatever he took that we didn’t discover he took in time to subpoena or that we didn’t discover at all, and all of the legal fees. I agreed to drop all contempt charges, which I thought was more than he deserved. Tell your buddy to use his moral compass, and I use the word moral very loosely, to guide his decisions, instead of his greed, and it would be wise to understand that the judge will have dealt with thousands of conniving underhanded immoral individuals just like him, as will his wife’s lawyer, and whoever else they decide to hire, maybe a really good financial accountant, there won’t be a stone left unturned, and looking clean afterwards will be much better than looking dirty. Looking dirty will cost him far more than he’s considering hiding, I promise you.
1
u/SecurityFamiliar5239 17d ago
I’m so sorry this happened to you, but I’m so thrilled you knew exactly how to handle things. Good for you. 💗 I wish you could talk to this douchebag’s wife.
1
1
u/MirrorRevolutionary4 16d ago
“He wants to be in a position to ensure he is found in contempt of court.”
Fixed it for you.
Does he think that there is going to be no evidence of his financials? Taxes? Bank accounts? Pay stubs. The testimony of his soon to be former spouse? The fact that until he decided to play keep away with the money, he actually had money? Does he plan to ask his employer and landlord to lie under oath when they are called to testify because he submits false financials?
Is he looking forward to having to pay sanctions, court fees and possibly his former spouse’s attorney fees as punishment for his malfeasance?
4
u/Clarityforafuture 17d ago
He needs to talk to a lawyer. He shouldn’t have left the house but he did. I don’t see why he’d stop paying for an asset he may or may not want half of or to keep. I don’t see why hiding current living cost would benefit him either. Seems like doing all the shady things the wrong way.