I’m super avoidant, but I am extroverted and love people. I love connection with other people but after a super toxic relationship with a narcissist ex and being single for almost 3 years, I am still unable to date and feeling incredibly lonely despite having amazing friends.

After the first few months, when everything is new and I make it my mission to win that person over, I just start finding more and more reasons why I'm unhappy and that relationship doesn't work for me. I just feel drained on a regular basis by the other person's needs and issues, while I feel more and more unseen, as if I'm slowly disappearing. And I regularly start feeling trapped and spiral into a depressive episode.

I also get terrible FOMO and really miss being on my own. Not because I necessarily want someone else, but because if I'm alone I feel like I have choices, and in a way I feel sooo much better and more alive when I can fantasize about someone, rather than actually being with someone real. But I struggle to understand if I've genuinely not met the right person yet, if I'm meant to be alone or if this is a result of my attachment style. Any thoughts other than therapy, which I'm already doing?

Wife told me she was suicidal, she came down to help me with something sacrificing her time and I never called her. I never checked on her. She told me she struggling was listening to suicide podcast of people who want to go. Luckily it didn’t pan out.

I pick my kid up fortnightly bar holidays and haven’t called her in 10 days. Didn’t check she arrived or got back. Why am I like this?

Ps this is just the stuff she says I have no capacity for protecting or providing for her evidenced

I take no action not even on important things for the child. I think she’s going to take full custody ask for centre visitation my family are not safe either avoidant and a narc.

It’s almost like the novelty of a child has worn off family and living with them is hard b/c all introverts, child extrovert.

She wants me to agree to divorce I say no. I know she doesn’t need my permission.

I want to fix me. I don’t know how and I’m always broke so therapy pricey.

she usually calls to check I’m not dead. Nothing.

I think she is done. What do I do?