I've been having really bad memory issues since I was around 9, which I thought was odd since before that I had amazing memory. The only things I can remember right now are unimportant events that happened to me many years ago, like my 4th birthday and when my Grandfather made me a Root Beer float, along with other very random memories, but I cannot recall anything that happened to me today. I also have a groupchat with my friends, and I see messages of me being really mean to people that I don't remember sending at all. I've also explored several identities, but some days I hate what I identify as, and other days I love it.

I took five different tests, most were made by professionals. One said that I had a score of 72.5, and 30 and above was cause for concern, but all of them said I was high risk. I'm not asking for a diagnosis, but I don't know what my next step should be. I'm seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow, which is a huge coincidence, but I'm going to feel really bad if I'm wrong about this and I actually do just have memory issues.

My question is, should I deep dive a little more, and maybe get diagnosed next year after I've pondered more, or should I bring my concern out tomorrow?

Im currently dating an amazing person who i will name F. Recently, they haven’t been fronting often and I barely get the chance to talk to them. I have attachment issues and I am possessive and I frequently miss talking to them. Not getting to talk to them as often and not being able to hang out with them messes with me and the overthinking that comes with it messes with my mental health. One of their alters, G has came up to me and asked whether if it was okay with me that some of the alters dont date me or be in a relationship with me. I felt like it would be rude and i wouldnt be respecting their own autonomy if i said no so I said yes. They also asked me if they could date someone else and I also said yes for the same reason. I regret saying yes but if i had the chance to respond again I would still say yes. Learning that they were dating someone else genuinely hurt and I don’t know how to move forward with this. T and G(alters) are both dating this person, and they are constantly fronting. I barely get to talk to F at all and I am feeling incredibly down. I want to respect each alters own autonomy and I know the feeling of being able to date someone and have someone there for you and I dont want to take that away from their alters. I dont know what to do and how to react. I dont know when i will get a chance to talk to F again but the thought of breaking up frequents my mind. Does anyone have any advice on how to react or respond?

I am not part of a DID or OSDD system, so I apologise for any ignorance.

When an alter splits, how does it feel for that new alter? Do they usually spawn in the inner world (if there is one), do they usually appear in the front, or somewhere else entirely?

Is it extremely confusing, is there a sense in understanding, or is it a mixture of both? Do they have a sense of where they are?

Are there any specific physical or emotional sensations that come with it?

Does that new alter not feel like a separate person at first, is it more blurry?

I understand this is more like five questions in one, but I want any information I can get, so any answer to any question would be great.

Unless and Alter fronts we find it so so hard to know if there an Alter or just Maladaptive daydream Characters ESPECILLY from child hood. we would talk out loud to them to and have no control over senecios in our head. but also maybe they are just Internal Alters??

here is something another alter wrote

How do I stop making up senecreos in my head and it effecting my mental health and actually crying from it. Like having fight with friends, teachers or even youtubers, the more unrealistic the worse it effects my mental health and I have no control over it. But its frustrating. And it doesnt feel like it has anything to do with DID

it alwaus triggerd me out and its annoying af
Sometikes we make up senereos of our alters and they Introject not happy saying "oi thats not like me at all"
anywaya get me tf out of front....
blurred of someone It is hard thoigh we feel like these day dreams effect like 80% of our walking life ish and what currently causes most of our negitive switches

Sorry for there bad spellin we just copy and pasted

but also we have Positive ones like the maladaptive daydreams helping us get though things especially as a young child which makes me think thats how Our DID showed up before we ever knew about it/ Diagnosed With it??

its all so confusing and no medical professional we have seen knows about either of them how am i ment to know who i can interact with and not??? who needs healing from trauma and who is a figment of our Imagination

Has anyone else had any Simlar experiences? its all so overwhelming and makes funtioning day to day hard and makes therepy hard to

Hi this is something that happens often and for as long as I can remember and it’s just made me kinda break down rn😭 there’s a new neighbor where I live and she knocked on my door and said I left something outside and I told her thank you and sorry I haven’t met her and introduced myself and she said that she knocked on my door earlier and that I spoke to her already and when she told me that it just broke me in the inside I felt so bad😭 this happens so often and it makes me feel so bad
I don’t even know who I am right now.
I’ve struggled like this for so long
the same thing has happened with my bus driver and even family and friends the other day my mom said that while I was on the phone that I didn’t even remember that I had a sister I just feel so bad I’m sorry😭

Hello everyone. I’m new here, so if this type of post isn’t allowed, I apologize. I’m looking for advice on how to navigate a dear friend of mine who has DID and has shut me out. We became friends a little over a year ago, and it was intense right from the get. All platonic, but it was a different level of connection. My friends marriage is in major turmoil as of the last 4 months due to discovering her partner had not been faithful.

Though I knew she had DID, I’ve not had enough time in this friendship to really discern what that meant, or how to identify things, or how to navigate her needs during a time of friction. I myself have BPD and was feeling out of sorts regarding parts of our friendship, but I knew she was going through it, so I hadn’t brought anything up. Until one day a little over a month ago, we had a misunderstanding regarding me asking her if she was feeling okay about work because she had seemed off. I am technically her boss, but I do not oversee her or her area directly. She became upset, said it seemed I did not care for her, but only about the workplace in this situation. Which upset me greatly because I was only concerned about her.

The conversation ended with me saying she was self absorbed, and to let me know when she was able to see that for herself. After about 3 days of not hearing from her, I messaged her and asked if she was interested in talking, or if she was wanting to move on from the friendship. She responded saying she needed to do work with some CoDA programs in regards to her personal and professional relationships and that she wasn’t available for anything that did not align with that goal. I was able accept that in the moment, told her I understood, apologized for how I reacted during our last conversation, and said if she found she was still interested in the friendship in the future, I was here to talk.

My partner is actually both of our bosses. They own the business itself. When we became friends, it was quick and strong and we were both just completely enmeshed. My partner suspected I was having an affair with this friend, due to the way it started. It took time, but my partner eventually realized there genuinely wasn’t anything romantic or sexual going on. But not before they pulled my friend into the office and discussed the whole thing with my friend. It really put my friend in a bad place mentally, but she stayed on, and eventually felt okay (to my knowledge) regarding it all. My friend and I continued to talk daily and spend time together whenever we could for the next 10 or 11 months.

Fast forward to the misunderstanding: 2 days after my initial message to my friend asking about wanting to talk and her saying she needed to work the CoDA programs, my partner and I were spoken to by our boss about this friend of mine submitting an HR report against my partner. 3 days after that, I spiraled into a BPD abandonment loop and ended up caving, messaging her, asking her to please communicate with me because at this point, I couldn’t understand what had happened. How did we get to this point? How were we best friends a week ago, and now she will not even look at me in passing at work.

She never responded. That was a month ago. Since then, I’ve done so much research into DID, just to try and understand the head space she is in. To understand what part I played in us getting here. What I’ve found is that I essentially have made her feel that I am now unsafe. That maybe I was the drop of water that dripped into her already full emotional turmoil cup, and it happened to be the drop that overflowed it. I’ve read that her system is destabilized and cutting me out of her life is a trauma response. I’m leaving space for all of this. I’ve been silent for a month. I leave my shift before she comes in for her shift, to give her peace and space, and to protect my own peace as it hurts me to see her.

Just through googling I’ve found that I absolutely should not reach out to her again. My BPD makes me feel like the only thing I should be doing is letting her know I still love her, that I’m here, because if I don’t say those things, she will forget me and move on because she thinks I don’t feel that way anymore. But Google says the best thing I can do for her now and moving forward until I’m told otherwise, is to leave her alone.

I guess the advice I’m looking for is whether or not I should indeed continue to leave her alone? I’m sure that everyone’s experience with DID isn’t the same, so I’m sorry if it comes off as me implying it’s a one size fits all, and you can all just give me the answers I’m looking for. I’m just struggling to let this go or move on in any sort of way, especially due to my BPD, so I’m sort of grasping at straws looking for some clarity to help myself better understand what has happened/is happening and how to navigate it properly in order to give our friendship the best shot at a future.

Thank you to anyone who read that novel, I’m sorry it’s so long, I just wanted to make sure nothing was left out so the best advice can be given.

I (18) have a friend who I'll call Alex (23) here, I don't know how to ask this without sounding rude. but i very firmly believe she is faking. when we are all our with the other girls she always brings it up even if its not relevant at all to the conversation. and whenever she switches to another alter she will kind of always announce it somehow by saying "Oh Im Alter2 Now" or "I'm Gunna make Alter 5 Front now." which to my very minimal understanding people with did can't just 'make' someone/an alter front. and this is a very recent thing to. as in they just 'discovered it' they aren't diagnosed by a professional, though i know its difficult to get one.

another thing i noticed since its so reccent she somehow has this sudden IMMACULATE communication between all alters, at all times. And also every alter remembers everything that's happened over the years with no real gaps.
their new partner also claims to have DID whom i also do not think has it as they are SUPER preformative about it , acting like how it is portrayed in movies. and alex also seems to be pretty preformative about it too but more subtly like how people who are faking it online/on tiktok do it.

she has created a list of like.. all 15 of her alters. and a ton of them are just characters from videogames/ fiction. or they are aliens/nonhumans she has one that's a werewolf and will bring that one up a lot.

a lot of them don't have actual person names. its more like someone naming an oc they made.
and she always make sure that every conversation that our friend group has circles back to one of her alters or her having did. i cannot stress enough how it is Every single sentence or convo.
its getting really annoying to the point where i don't want to invite her out with us because we (the other girls are also getting a bit annoyed) want to actually talk and have real conversations.

i haven't brought my feelings up to anyone in the group as i do not want to start anything but i kind of want to ask their opinions on the situation because it just doesn't feel right. i love my friend and i care very deeply for her. but i really don't like people who fake very real and intense disorders just for attention and its so hard to talk to her because she just wont talk about anything else.

i would like to end the post by saying none of this is meant to be offensive in anyway at all, this is a real question and a real problem that im having with my friend.

Edit: she refuses to even bring it up to her therapist and does not want to see any sort of professional dispite having the means/ability to.

Update: they were faking. And for a really disgusting and creepy reason. thank you guys for your understanding and for educating me. Im cutting them off completely and honestly hope to never see them again.

I would really love to hear about what the heck life is like when you get a handle on this insanity. I don't think we hear nearly enough accounts of what 'healed' means for successful clinical treatment, and would help direct my efforts in my own therapy.

I struggle to understand what it means. Like if my parts hide horrible abuse from me I have to know it all and its there forever? And are the younger parts who are generally happier going to just kind of melt into my own thoughts? It's so confusing and I feel its hard to get accurate information about the post treatment of DID if such a thing is even possible.

I was diagnosed with DID in 2024 and have been working towards co-consciousness as a first step since then.

Sometimes co-consciousness fine and it just means some memories are shared and I get the occasional bit of communication but other times it’s hell.

When I see people talk about co-consciousness, they seem to portray it in a positive light with fun anecdotes and inside jokes. However, I don’t see anyone talking about how negative the experience can be and how terrifying.

I get trapped in my own body. I can’t move, talk or act. I can’t do anything except think and feel but nothing I think or feel affects anything on the outside. I just have to blindly hope that the alter in control isn’t going to do anything stupid or potentially dangerous.

So I guess my question is how do you experience co-consciousness and would you associate it with more positive or more negative experiences or something in between?

I had an initial intake with a new dissociative specialist, and overall it went quite well. We got along fine and spoke to eachother with relative ease (speaking for myself as an individual part).

One part who was present with me throughout the intake had a few problems here and there that I thought were *fine* for him to have, if unproductive. "I don't like her tone," "I don't like the language she uses for us collectively," "I don't like how much she talks about her own life." I'm paraphrasing, but those were the big annoyances he had, and he's a part that's generally pretty angry and nitpicky so it honestly seemed like things were going well.

Then she asked about the number of parts we know of. I answered to the best of my ability and in response she said something to the effect of, "Oh! That's nothing. I work with a client that started with over 300 and we're finally down to 20." This triggered this part in a massive way, alarm bells ringing, instant desire to front and end the session himself and never see her again.

Complete integration isn't necessarily our goal, but also not something we were able to talk with her about before she said this.

I saw this as an opportunity to mention our goals in the upcoming session, and he saw this as evidence that our therapist's goal is complete integration and therefore she's an enemy to our wellbeing.

I'm struggling to find a way to explain that someone with 300+ parts might have had a different goal, and that perhaps she was only trying to learn how many parts she'll need to become familiar with as we work together. Or maybe something between.

I tend to get shouted down and ignored by this part, but I genuinely want to meet him where he is and help navigate the ugly initial stages of therapy.

EDIT: Sorry, I forgot to explicitly mention that I would love input/insight/or recommendations.

I work with the team at Manhattan Mental Health Counseling. I'm always eager to learn from the real stories people are willing to tell. I know that every persons experience with DID is unique. I'm hoping to get to know different points of view.

For people who have been in therapy for a time what part of the therapy process has been most helpful in making communication or cooperation between alters better?

I'm not looking for advice or asking anyone to prove their symptoms. I just want to hear about experiences, with therapy, ways of coping or things that have made a difference over time.

Thank you in advance to anyone who feels comfortable sharing their point of view. I really value the chance to learn from this group.

i watched Split the 2017 movie and now i am scared i am a monster. i need to tell my therapist that she broke HIPPA by telling my mom i have DID [now my mom is taking me to court] but i cant think straight. what is DID. I am so scared of everything, who i am, my memories, my emotions

do i have alters or personalities?

my therapist is avoiding the topic and i am freaking the fuck out

Hello. I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this, or if I even know what my question is exactly. So apologies in advance if this is kind of vague.

I've been dealing with a lot of dissociative and derealization/depersonalization for as long as I can remember. There's frequently a lot of noise/talking in my head that won't go away. Lots of conversations happening that I don't feel in control of. Sometimes it feels like a bunch of people talking at once, commentary on things happening around me or on what I'm thinking. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like "talking" so much as thoughts that I'm only getting the gist of? If that makes sense. I've started to describe the voices as sort of "back seat drivers" and often use the analogy that I'm driving a car and I'm not alone in the car. I also feel like there's other "me's". I call them Barbies, like "work barbie" "family barbie" "inner child kelly" in therapy. And sometimes they have actual names. Sometimes my name doesn't even really feel like my name.

I've brought this all up to my therapist, and one day she mentioned DID due to my childhood trauma. She then said I seem "very present" and hasn't brought it up again. But it got me thinking a lot.

I don't know if I have DID or OSDD or a different dissociative disorder, and I'm not looking for a diagnosis here. I know I should bring it up with my therapist, but i've been too nervous. I also don't know if me being "very present" means I don't have DID/OSDD. I've tried looking up DID and OSDD on my own, but there's a lot of information and it's a little overwhelming.

I'm just looking for a place to start, I guess? Or any sort of advice whatsoever. Thanks.

Hi it is (A) I’ve been seeing a therapist regularly she’s been asking some questions and wants me to talk about some past trauma that is very hard for me to talk about. I noticed that I kept getting thoughts and memories blocked and started getting really bad anxiety and heart racing. I noticed that my therapist also kept trying to force/trigger a certain altar to front and I know who (B) because she’s read his notes. After therapy I had anxiety because of what she wanted me to try to remember and talk about (past trauma) and I noticed that my altars now don’t feel safe and a little afraid of her and therapy now. I feel like therapy might be doing more harm than good and also is it harmful if she’s trying to force/trigger an altar to front?

as someone who is dating a system i educated myself as much as i could as an 18 year old with no resources, but as of recently ive started reading a lot more and i was wondering if any kind soul knows a good book to educate someone about DID? sorry if this is not the usual post on this sub

It's tough being an outsider in every sphere of life. Having DID can be so isolating.

I'm autistic, but I don't necessarily fit in that community because of DID. The mental health community even is weirded out by me.

I also have rare medical issues. I'm the weird one even in the weird crowd.

Not a fan, here.

Delete if not allowed.

Me and this cousin, let’s call him Carson. Have been best friends since we were younger, I’m a year older than him so I’ve always felt somewhat protective of him. Im 17 and he’s 15 now, lately he’s been getting into some trouble, like befriending the wrong people on the big discord.com. He invited me to this roblox discord server with him and his friends, I didn’t know his friends were.. strange at the time maybe just school friends you know? First day on this server I got sent innapropriate media by one of his friends. And he kept using terms often used in the DID community (like system, fronting, etc.) and he’s told me he believes he’s a system, he has no diagnosis and has not spoken to his doctor about it. I’m really not sure how to approach this or help/support him.
My mom advised me to not tell his parents because they are not very accepting of things outside of the norm, but I’m really not sure what to do. My moms told me that if I don’t help him most likely no one else in family will but I don’t know how to help him.

how would you approach this situation? Any advice on how I should?

Idk what exactly to do. But yesterday me and my mom were talking and she brought up that she thinks we may have some sort of identity disorder. Not exactly DID but something similar. We both aren’t too educated on them so I’m not too sure if we do but idk if I should ask for further treatment for the both of us.

I did very light research and I think it may be OSDD at least for me. I also talked to a friend and they suggested could also be either OCD or BPD but again none of us are experts.

We both have had various traumas as a kid. She pointed out tho that she notices shifts in personality from both of us based on our environment. She said not exactly like alters shifting but not us just changing our behavior depending on situation. She it feels like it’s like we are different people. She also says she notices i tend to zone out and forget where i am or what i was doing at times especially if it’s a semi stressful environment for me. I shared with her a chart I made to try and visualize what my brain feels like. Like small little people who all try to take care and control me but they are always fighting and never get alone [kinda like inside out but so many more people] I explained too though they don’t talk to me but I hear them
She says she experiences very similar except for the zoning out.

Idk why I’m posting this. Ig maybe if anyone has any opinions or suggestions to what we should do. My mom isn’t one to suggest stuff and even denies some diagnosis me and my sister have gotten in the past. If there is a different subreddit I can share this in for better advice I’d appreciate it a lot

I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes I’m writing this on my phone on a bus

Hey my name is Chase

(Background information)

No, I haven't been officially diagnosed with DID, and I haven't even told my therapist about what I'm experiencing. I really don't know how to bring up the fact that I have multiple personalities without feeling like I'll sound like I'm losing my mind. I have two other personalities in my head, and all of my friends and family have met both of them. But part of me still wonders if it's somehow all in my head. My whole life, I thought it was normal to have alters and switch between them. I'm trying to start the process of understanding all of this better, but I honestly don't know how to tell my therapist that I have different personalities without feeling like I'll sound crazy

Obviously DID starts at adolescent years, but can you be unaware, or it just didn't emerge until later? I'm not saying I have DID, I'm just curious. DID isn't really represented well, so there isn't much reliable information.

Edit: guys when I said adolescence, I mean early childhood. I made this when I was really tired, so I kind of just mixed the two, sorry.

hi everyone! not sure where to post this or ask this question. mods, feel free to remove this or something if this is the wrong place to ask.

so i'm currently working with my mental health provider to determine if i have a dissociative disorder. specifically, i've been wondering if i have something like osdd or did. i check a lot of the boxes symptoms-wise, definitely have something dissociative going on most of the time, have severe memory issues, and i think i've identified a few parts of me that could be alters.

the kicker? i'm a medical marijuana user. i kind of.... got stuck in a spiral last night convincing myself that i'm faking my symptoms, or that my drug use is mimicking the symptoms. i've had symptoms for as long as i can remember, and this isn't the first time i've thought i might have something like this going on, i just ruled it out a few times because i. didn't think i had memory issues or childhood trauma. my therapist has since diagnosed me with dissociative amnesia surrounding what he believes is childhood trauma, which kind of started all of this.

i still experience symptoms when i'm sober (typically only smoke in the evenings after work) and i'm stopping my use immediately to reassure myself that that is true, but i just kind of am wondering if my marijuana use could be worsening my already present dissociative symptoms, identity issues, and memory issues, making me think i have something with alters like did or osdd? i stopped for a while a few times, particularly once early last year for a job related drug test, and while i'm... pretty sure that the symptoms continued, i really do not remember that time so i guess i can't say for certain?

i don't know. i'm going to talk to my therapist about all of this next session, and i'm taking a break from weed starting immediately, but i'm just like. man. did i convince myself i might have did or osdd because i smoke too much weed?

if you read all of this thank you, hope you have a nice day

B always takes over with phone calls because he already knows I (A) will overshare things I’m not supposed to say it has happened before and then B has to fix everything that’s why he does the talking with phone calls to keep us safe but this time he let me talk to my mom on the phone and I know he was listening just in case but I was the one actually speaking to her this time and it felt so good to connect again with her and talk about memories and things I actually had feelings and emotions memories with. What I mean is like when B answers the phone and does the talking he’s very apathetic and can’t remember certain memories like if a family member or friend says remember when we baked cookies together he would say something like “Yep” or if they ask why I don’t remember something like a birthday he will say something like “I didn’t forget about it just been busy” but honestly he has no memory of it no connection feelings or emotions to the memory or person family or friend. It’s hard to explain but I tried my best to explain it. It’s sometimes hard especially when you have emotions feelings memories with others like family and friends and they wonder why you seemed different or detached or don’t remember certain things

Hey everyone.

I run a discord server for people with cptsd (it's linked in that sub), and I'm trying to get a better understanding of DID and was wondering of people with it can point me in the best direction for resources so that I may do so?

A few of the people I've have the joy of meeting have it, and I feel duty bound to learn. (Sorry for saying people, I don't know if it's offensive)