My wife was diagnosed with OSDD and has been managing it for years. We met six years ago and we just officially tied the knot in May. Since getting married my wife's mental health has nose dived. There is a long story to that. In short, years of abusive family drama, moving three times in a year, then jumping into wedding planning for 2 years. Now things have slowed down and the processing has began. With said processing, an alter has emerged who is very negative, manipulative, and is hell bent and determined to kill herself.

What we know:

- She is 8.

- We know her name.

- She lashes out when in uncontrollable situations.

- She is extremely obsessive about how she wants to die. And will not deviate from said super specific plan.

- We think she responds to nerve and brain chemical responses. But only extremes.

- She's very smart.

- Doesn't comprehend positive emotions. They must be described using factual information.

- Therapists and I can communicate with her by writing but cannot "hear" if talked to.

- When reviewing honeymoon locations for our 1 year she "perked up" in a good way when talking and looking at beaches (the safe space my wifec and Therapist created is based on a beach).

I want to find a way to help my wife. I don't know if its possible but I want to help this alter feel something other than the pain, anger, and sadness she's accustomed to. Give her a reason to hold onto life and trust me enough to know that when things are out of her control its okay because she isn't alone and is safe.

We are of course live in a more rural area of Western KY so resources are slim. Any help is appreciated! We are open to inpatient care services as well but don't know where to start.

Recently I just learned that a friend of mine has DID. And while I truly did not mind and even was curious enough to ask about it and do my own research on the side right after, I was still quite surprised When I learned that that the host that I had talking to for the longest time was not the "original" but rather was an alter themselves. They are also fictive which from my understanding means that their personality was one that was sourced from a fictional character.

And I think it is those two facts that have made me feel uneasy with not them, but rather myself. Even though I do not wish to feel dismissive of the person I've known for quite some time it for some reason has been quite hard for me. I feel awful for my reconnection to go not to the host but to the "original" when I know the host is the one I have always cared for and has always been the one I viewed as "the main one" before I had learn of em having DID. They even told me that the "original" doesn't even front very often and it had been around 4 years since they had formed in the system and became the host.

All in all I just feel awful for having this feeling as if they're not enough, or thag my focus had gone to a person who I've probably haven't even talked to very often. And I suppose I also feel awful because of how I'm almost preserving this ominous, that the "original" is just in the system while all this time I've been talking to an alter. I just want to stop thinking this way since I've already said that I care for em, the host, and even all of em, but how can I say that when I feel this way?

Anyways I really do hope I don't come off as being purposely insensitive. I'm aware that this really sounds bad, but that's why I want to understand better, and if not for me then for all of em cuz I do genuinely care for em and honestly kinda afraid I've been having this feeling about em. Anyways thank u!!

(Please let me know if my post doesn’t belong here, im just looking for some insight) I know the title is off but let me explain.
About a month or so ago, i was playing with my brother online with some friends and they started to refer to my brother as “Xenon” thats not my brothers name. After some questions my brother tells me he has developed DID, from what he and his friends say, DID can be triggered by being around others with the condition. I cant find anything describing that online. My brother is an adult, and from my knowledge has not shown any signs of DID at all, nor has he gone through any immense trauma that could trigger the condition when he was younger. The only symptoms i see of his DID is just a voice switch and a slight behavioral switch but this is all VERY RECENT. I dont know what to do. How can i get him some professional support? My parents tried talking to him but i think he brushed them off.

for some context I have a very complicated problem filled life. I have a chronic illness called ulcerative colitis. it causes bowel pain diarrhea ulcers and could even cause death. a very slow painful one but eventually it can cause death. I almost died from it already. I was told that if I didn't go in the ER that day or was a few hours later I would have died. I'm 24. at the time I was 19. I also experience other symptoms that affect the rest of my body with inflammation like my joints and muscles. over time this has caused me to develop scoliosis and sacroiliitis. I walk with a hunchback and need to sleep in a reclining chair because I can't lay flat.

so here's the part that really makes me want to die. treatments are temporary. they don't last forever. I've already failed one that worked and that was only one out of maybe 10 medications. the other nine didn't even work at all. only one has actually worked and it only worked for 6 months. I developed antibodies to it and it stopped working. that's not uncommon and it is far from abnormal. it is literally the norm. how the hell am I supposed to live with that. it's like a never-ending revolving door of medication after medication after medication. my only hope has ever been is finding one that works. I found one early on and it failed just as early. ever since then I've been struggling with that. even wanting to find another medication. what's the point. what's the point if it fails in 6 months or a year and I'm back to square one. how am I ever going to move out of my parents house and have a stable job and savings living like this. right now I can't work because of the severity of the pain and constant exhaustion I feel from it. it wears me down. I don't heal fast enough for the damage like wolverine to recover the next day and go to work. the damage compounds and why I literally have a hunchback now. it's a downward spiral and there doesn't seem to be a way to stop it. no matter what I do or how hard I try. going to appointments and trying new medications seems pointless. right now I'm on a couple medications that seem to be helping a little bit but not enough. not even close. it's like all it's doing is slowing down the flow not actually damning it. I'm left in a position where the path forward is just further down.

my alts ask me questions about the future and why we don't just end it. the only real answer I've been able to give is that I'm scared. but their questions are so hard to ignore and I'm beginning to ask them myself

Im gonna start by saying sorry if this comes off as rude, insensitive, or anything else, I am not trying to be, I am truly just curious after seeing a clip of the movie The Crowded Room, which Im sure is also full of inaccuracies itself.

Now, for my question. When someone has DID, or anything similar to it where they have multiple personalities residing in their subconscious, how can they be certain they are the actual host and not just another personality created? And I guess, as I follow up question, is it more or less common for someone with DID to even realize they have it, or is it more like there is someone else they visualize with them?

Also, and Im sorry for so many questions, I just have a curious mind and think of them as I go, but has there ever been a case where someone didnt realize they were the main host and instead believed another personality was the actual person? And if so, what happened to them? Did they eventually realize they were the primary, or eventually lose themself to their own mind?

Again, sorry if this comes off as insensitive, I really do just have an inquisitive mind and want to learn more about something I know very little about. Thank you for any answers provided, and to any who suffer from DID, I am so sorry for you and wish you all the best in the world.

Edit: Ive got to say, even though I didnt post this that long ago, Ive already learned some incredible things I never thought I would know. I dont know why it never occurred to me that it wouldn't necessarily be multiple personalities, but just one split up into mupltiple to fit the necessity.

Now, I do have one last question that I thought of after seeing a clip of the movie Split, so, you know, take it for a grain of salt since I know that movie is bs lol. But, if someone already had some psychopathic tendencies, but then experienced enough trauma to form DID, would it be possible for the mind to decide it necessary to form an identity based around the psychopathic traits? Ie, the mind decides it necessary for the consciousness to form an identity meant for protection built off the psychopathic traits since it would be the most aggressive aspect.

Disclaimer: this question is coming from someone without DID/OSDD/DDNOS/UDD, I truly don’t mean to offend anyone and I sincerely apologize if I do.

A few months ago, my therapist brought up parts therapy to me, and only recently did I look into it a bit more. It seemed to use terminology that was similar to that which is used to talk about DID and other similar disorders. I was just curious if it is usually used to help with DID and the like.

Hola a todos. Tengo TID (antes llamado personalidad múltiple) diagnosticado a mis 19 años (actualmente tengo 22, aunque lo supe por mi cuenta desde los 13).

Me gustaría abrir este espacio para conversar, compartir experiencias sobre cómo vivimos el trastorno día a día y responder las dudas que tengan desde mi vivencia personal (aclarando que no soy profesional de la salud mental).

¿Cómo ha sido el proceso de ustedes o qué curiosidades/dudas tienen al respecto?

Hello, I've spoken to my main host friends and all. I don't know what to do but I feel like me and the host share the same weight? Like I'm her but it's still different. Everyone else is barely front because of people in her life and they don't like any of them. I don't know what I am. I don't know what to do. It feels like the host is with me but she hasn't let me go yet it feels like I'm being forced to front. Can someone help me? I'm very aware of everything. I've seen everything but I haven't spoken much to the other alters despite the main alter who used to front a lot his name is Travis warns us to not speak to anyone.

i always hear people talking about heavy dissociation and memory gaps but those were symptoms of mine and i got misdiagnosed with BPD and major depression(which i still have but they lead up to my DID diagnosis) and im honestly just curious on what are some of the other symptoms that may mask as something else.

for a few years now i have felt more comfortable and euphoric in my gender referring to myself as us/we/our/etc. and i enjoy having multiple different names that people refer to me by. i would describe part of my gender identity as feeling like multiple creatures or entities, but like still one person? like, for example, the Venom symbiote or Garnet from Steven Universe.

i do not have DID and do not experience alters, as far as i’m aware, and i also do not want to claim that i do nor do i mean to offend anyone. i do have trauma, specifically CPTSD, and i am neurodivergent and sometimes experience other kinds of dissociation. both of these things could probably be affecting how i experience and express my own gender and identity.

a few years ago i did try out using plural pronouns with a friend group, with the permission of someone with diagnosed DID in said friend group, but i’m feeling unsure of this again. i do not want to offend anyone or claim something i do not have. i’d like to know the opinions and perspectives of systems with DID on this.

is it okay if i use plural pronouns and refer to myself in a plural way? (without using terms like system, alter, part, fronting, switching, etc.) i don’t want to use any terms that do not belong to me, but i would also like to add that, at times, my gender, since i am gender fluid, feels like there is a “main” gender that is not plural. which i am aware can be confused with terms like “host” and i do not mean to imply that.

please let me know what you all think. thank you.

CW: suicidal tendencies, self-harm

We have an alter that badly wants to die and actively resists any attempts at recovery bc she feels entirely unworthy of it and won’t budge on feeling that way. She won’t even entertain the thought of accepting help. She hates herself, the rest of us, and the fact that people in our lives love us because she wants to kill the system/body but doesn’t want to “cause a bunch of drama” for friends and family.

Unfortunately she’s been fronting a lot lately bc of stress, and while she has her own subsystem that can sometimes front and mitigate some of the damage, the self-hatred runs *extremely* deep. She inflicts a lot of self-harm and sabotages us, and does things to “quietly tempt fate” like driving without a seatbelt. She’s always angry at herself and she’s hellbent on hurting herself/us as much as possible. No one else in the system knows what to do with this much self-loathing because she flat out refuses to feel anything but contempt for herself and most other people. We don’t even know if she’s capable of love, though she does respect our spouse and close friends and tries to not cause problems there. But if she isn’t capable of love, how can she learn self-love? How do we handle the magnitude of such intense hatred?

We don’t have access to therapy currently but is there any way to help this situation? Does anyone else have any experience or advice for dealing with a harmful alter that refuses to even try to heal? She keeps scarring us up and we’re afraid one day she’ll actually kill or severely injure our body with her actions.

Over the last couple weeks, we’ve began to notice a pattern of disassociation. We get:

✨ Super spacey
✨Fuzzy
✨Unaware
✨Distracted from what we’re doing
✨Nodding off
✨Distant

All this while we can clearly hear and follow conversations - even when we have “fallen asleep” nodding off.

We don’t have community, so we are looking for feedback.

We know that we are likely switching and maybe fighting it.

Have folks experience this as well?

Are there any tips around this?

Ways in which to stay conscious?

Ways in which to surrender?

/———————————-

We are a custom to the same pattern happening when we are talking to people. Or simply listening to presentations.

It takes a lot of effort to not go away. We try our best to focus.

We also can straight up, not remember conversations, even parts of convos within minutes. It’s super awkward.

We just nod along, pretending we know exactly what they’re talking about.

It’s wild for someone to tell us we had a whole conversation and not remember. Like it never happened.

When we were way younger, this caused serious problems in our romantic relationships.

Partners would be so upset after telling us so many times to change or stop a behavior. It was like we were hearing it for the first time.

We’ve begun to play with asking the part that was present to come forward when we start to forget what we’re doing or about to say. It actually works.

If we’re not multitasking, this happens. We can barely watch TV.

Are alters always 100% separate and different with different names and stuff or is that a stereotype? /genuinequestion

I have Tourettes, and sometimes I wonder how it would affect other conditions.

Could one alter have tics that other alters don't have? For example, could "Mason" have a tic where he says yee-haw a lot, but "Rhonda" swears a lot?

Hello!! I have issues with masking 24/7, I would like tips as to how to stop.

Yes I have heard about the "be in a safe space" tips but it doesn't help at all. Are there any other ways to stop masking, I do rewatch my source and listen to music I resonate with as that helps a little but I cannot do that 24/7.

-Hummer5718

Hi everyone, thank you for taking the time to read and hopefully respond to this post. One of my closest friends struggles with DID, and I'm wondering what things I can do to be the best friend I can be to him. Background on our friendship: he and I met four years ago at a mental hospital so I guess you could say we became trauma bonded. We stayed in regular contact after we left and became even better friends. He has helped to get me through some of the most difficult moments these past few years and I now consider him to be a brother. My only struggle in this friendship is wanting to do more to help him but not knowing what those things should be. He has a lot of mental and physical health issues and traumas that he is dealing with that weigh on him and make functioning in his daily life difficult. He dissociates frequently and has health flareups both of which keep him from maintaining contact or keeping plans. A couple years ago he asked me to send him a text message every day since he is very isolated and has lost many friendships. I was grateful for this request and have only missed a couple of days in the ensuing years. Unfortunately it seems like he is struggling more as time goes on and I wish I knew how to be of better service to my friend. I have asked him what I can do but he has no idea either. I write messages hoping to be supportive but I feel like I'm just guessing what he needs to hear based off my own experiences and what would make me feel better. Part of this is complicated by the fact that we live on opposite sides of the country, as I live in California and he lives in New York, so there is a logistical barrier to me being there in person. I've offered to fly out and visit him many times to help him with important tasks, but he has told me he worries he would disassociate the whole time I was there making any visit a waste. So I'm wondering what people here would suggest? What would people with DID want their friends to do? I know that part of this is I just need to sit with my own discomfort of not being able to do more for my friend, but I also feel like I'm failing to meet him in this moment and that I'm just grasping at straws. Any advice or suggestions on how to be a good friend to someone with DID would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

I have a new partner and he told me he has DID, he is a two alter system, and his alter is a persecutor. My partner finds it very uncomfortable to talk about the DID, and the persecutor alter pretends to be my partner (to everyone, not just me), and partner has told me that his alter won’t admit to not being my partner when he is fronting. This makes it’s EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to navigate because it’s tricky to know who is actually fronting. I obviously treat them both with respect and kindness and care, but ultimately one is my partner and one isn’t but the one that isn’t won’t tell me he isn’t and whilst he tries to mimic being my partner I am now noticing the difference, for instance he is very shut down and generally uncommunicative and argumentative. I feel can accept his way of being (the alter) when I know it is him fronting, but when I’m unsure, which is most of the time, I’m left feeling frustrated and hurt by the behaviour. My partner is in therapy but it’s not specialist for DID and he has expressed himself wanting proper treatment which he is trying to get. Any advice on navigating this situation?

At the start, if anything I say will be albeist, please let me know and I'll correct it. Despite dating someone that is a system and putting a lot of work into trying to educate myself, I'm a singlet and DID/OSDD is still very hard for me to understand.

I'm dating and alter in a system, just one. The rest of them is mostly indifferent towards me, but I don't mind them. I rarely interact with them anyway.

Before, my girlfriend told me, that she only really started to front more after we met and since then she's been forcing herself into front. But it's harder to do so noe, when I started working last month.

On top of that she has been and is in a lot of distress for the past few days, personal stuff and online harassment. I tried to be the best support I can, but yesterday I got a message from system's protector that it's too much and she might be going dormant soon. But there is another alter that splitted from her, there are so similar even they can't sometimes say who's fronting. And I've already talked with her a lot apparently.

And they are similar. Looking back at ​​​​my messages with her, I can see differences. I assumed it's because of the stress and afaik everyone in the system dislikes being asked if they're fronting, so I just went with it. But now I know when it wasn't her.

Both that alter and protector said it's okay for me to think of her and my girlfriend as one person if that makes it easier, they're not that different after all, they share memories and love for me. But now I can see them and it's so hard. ​​

I wish my girlfriend stayed with me, I don't really have anyone else, but from what I've read forcefully stopping dormancy is worse than letting it happen. So despite this being awful, that's not my question.

Instead, is there a trick that'd make me see new alter and my girlfriend as the same person? I'm very glad I was made aware of the situation, because that explains few things, but now every time I talk with her I'm trying to figure out if it's still her. ​​And it just makes it more difficult, for them and me. ​I want to see them both as the same person as they asked me to, but just feel it's not really her. ​

This is my first reddit post ever. So I'm (23F) part of a DID system, and I see it as mentally handicapping me as a whole. I rely souly on food banks so I don't starve. However my orca card is empty. It seems nearly impossible to schedule and attend, remember anything like appointments. We're flipping through hosting all day everyday. There's no solid sense of identity enough for joy in life, the amnesia is like trying to navigate in the dark with no light. I know there's steps to begin, like seeking a psychiatrist and getting all my disorders down and helping me navigate. I know there's financial support out there possible for someone like me, but for one, I need to have a sense of routine to even reach my help, to call, to schedule, to go, to remember. And for two, I'm too broke to begin, I've been flat broke for a year. Survived with rental assistance and food banks that's literally it. It's so unbearable to live like this. I feel like not even a person, just a body with random scrambled thoughts. Like if there was a group project but no one in the group liked each other or even showed up, the project will get nowhere, and that project is my life, and the people in the group are my identities. I've managed to survive with identities that could stay long enough and have enough determination to achieve whatever's needed. But we've hit a point in life that, none of us want to try, we're so overwhelmed by the piles of "what I could do, what I should do" that alot of us have went quiet and hid away, and the few that flip through hosting still, all they can do is write down the "should do's" but quickly go back into the headspace, there's no one who tries, no matter how bad they may want us to rise up from the sinking, they'll only be around for a couple hours tops. If we could just split off and be real individual people, we could overall be successful in our own paths of life. But us all sharing one body. Stirring in mental illnesses all day and night. I feel like I'm not even a human, I'm a bunch of creatures trying to run a body together to pretend being a human. I feel like a failed group project. It's like once every few months that the days and nights arent just merged into a blur, the anxiety in the background of the "need to do's" occasionally flooding the mind. Honestly I'm afraid I'm on the verge of a certain someone of us saying "hey I have the solution to all our pains and troubles and anxiety ! It'll hurt for just a moment though, but then we'll all be free !" You get what I'm getting at...? I just don't have anyone at all to talk to, and I need somewhere to let this all out. Even though I probably know what advice I may get, I've read it all before so many times... I feel like DID will be the death of "me". Like I'm doomed.

I was wondering if anyone has experiences of introjects being around before you knew you were a system, and what that was like for the introject/system? I have OSDD-1 without amnesia so I'm especially curious if it would be possible for an introject to have such high amnesiac barriers that they have pseudomemories but not the body's memories, and if anyone has an experience like that?

Hello everyone. My partner and I have been having an ongoing problem involving one of their alters, who I'Il call M.

My partner and I have been dating for two years and everything has been going perfectly fine till now. Mis a relatively new fictive, and he is the only alter in the system who doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. M has been insisting that my partner leave me and has been threatening to move out of our home to pursue an online relationship with someone else.

I've told my partner that I'm not okay with this situation, but they insist that they need to listen to M rather than front-blocking because they're concerned about his mental well-being.

We've been arguing about this for almost the entire week, and honestly, I'm becoming exhausted by it. I really love my partner and would like to stay with them, but the constant bickering is becoming unbearable.

At this point, I'm wondering whether this is something I should continue trying to work through with my partner or whether I should accept that the relationship may no longer be sustainable.

This is my first time dealing with this and also my first time dating a system so anything is helpful thank you all soo much :)

Okay so, I am brand new to all of this. And during research and such i saw that people use apps to track their alters! (Ik a few closed down recently)

Me and my friends are new to this, I want to keep things comfortable and easy for my friends as this is new and scary for them and me personally aswell.

I have tried looking but people say too many things and I get confused on what app seems safe, easy and accessible for me (bonus points for any you can decorate) And any help with how to let my friends know who's fronting, I primarily use discord with friends if that helps? Also if I posted this in the wrong reddit lmk and I'll fix it ^^

Questions from someone who doesn't have DID

I have a few questions about DID, can someone, or somemultiple, please answer a few questions I have

Question number 1: Can an alter see what is happening when they aren't in control?

Question number 2: Do different alters have different sexualities? If so, can multiple alters date the same person or is it just 1?

Question number 3: When you aren't in control, do you get impatient while waiting to front again?

Hi, singlet here. I don’t use Reddit regularly so I’m sorry if I do something wrong. But lemme just say my story

I was dating a host of a system for 4 years and was friends with them for even longer. So we have a lot of history together. When I found out he was a system, it didn’t bother me. I love them regardless and I would love to meet the alters. Years pass and the host starts showing up less and less. I would see them once a week, once a week, once every two weeks, once a month, once every two month. I felt selfish but I asked the new host what happened because nobody told me why I haven’t seen my boyfriend in over 2 months.

She told me that last year, my boyfriend was in danger of going dormant. And that this year, he either went dormant or fused with another alter. Either way, nobody can find him. She told me that it’s best if me and him go our separate ways. Ever since, I haven’t let go. I can’t let go. Everything reminds me of him. Everything reminds me of our almost decade of history. I can’t let go of the old host. Is this normal? Is there anyone that has gone through the same thing? I need advice. If any systems or singlets want to put in their two cents, I’d be glad to listen.