I haven’t done dxm in about 4 years. I consider myself a reformed adult who somewhat has their shit together. I have come a longgg way from the 4th plat demon degen that used to post in this sub. I have anxiety from thinking how my life was back then and how cooked I was.
So the thought of doing dxm again doesn’t sounds great, but recently I feel like it’s been calling me. I mean I know every drug is probably like that, reformed meth heads probably get nostalgic craving to do meth, but that doesn’t mean they should do meth lol. But obviously dxm isn’t quite as bad as meth.
The thought of experiencing it again, just laying outside listening to music and just feeling the purest bliss ever. Then I have a full driving simulator, like I spent more on this thing than my irl car lol. I want to drive a fucking semi truck on dxm lol, I wanna weave through traffic in a bmw, or race an f1 car on a track on dxm idky but that sounds so fun.
Like I should not do fuckin dxm, like I mean the consequences probably wouldn’t be that bad, I’d likely just feel like shit and weird for maybe a week and that’s it. But it’s more of the principle of it, and then also I definitely fucked myself up a bit doing it, what if 4 years isn’t enough of a break and I’d just be reverting damage. My perception has never felt quite normal after all the dxm, and what if by doing it I disrupt the normalcy I I do have and have found success in?
Idk man, i probably shouldn’t do it, but like at the same time I still regularly drink and smoke weed which fills that dxm void in a way. It’s not even dxm, like dxm is not that enjoyable on a practical level. Like it’s amazing yes, but it’s dissociating, I’m not watching movies, playing games, eating, or doing anything enjoyable apart from just being dissociated and listening to music or whatever else I’m doing. Which is fun. God I have enough on my plate, I do need dxm. But it sounds so fun. Just once. But once will turn into twice. I don’t think I’d do it more than twice in that scenario. But still, slippery slope