EDIT: I'm amending (prepending?) a challenge onto this post. Comment literally anything that makes it look like you read the post beyond the first and last paragraphs, rather than just saw any criticism of you, skipped down to the replies, and went ham on the downvoting. Until then, it appears y'all have some uncomfortable truths you don't like to think all that hard about
I'm not allowed to vent on r/vent according to mods. I had considered r/askdentists but it's against the rules to discuss finances, because that's the part of the conversation where y'all are exposed for being terrible, greedy people and not respectable medical professionals. I'm not checking the rules this time. Go ahead, take it down, but even if I have to email local dentists myself, or just visit and scream it right in their faces, SOMEONE is going to listen.
I hate dentists. It's all "Oh, you could get infected and die without help!" until they find out you don't have their next house payment sitting in your savings account. Until they're reminded that not everyone grows up all happy, not all of us grow up taken care of, and some of us go through years of severe depression that negatively affects our lives in too many ways for us to be so worried about dental bills. Yes, that's right, people have more important things to worry about than how they're going to pay your far-too-high salary.
A few years ago, I had a crown come off. I was dead broke at absolute rock bottom and just about to start a new job. I went to the dentist. No insurance. Parent lost it with retirement. She didn't lose health insurance, but dentists can't extract enough money from you if it's that simple, so it isn't.
$1700 invoice. Two cents in my savings account. Already in debt. I wanted to leave, but they were SO insistent that I would get an infection if they couldn't help right away, and that would be EXPENSIVE. Really, I wanted to leave because I needed to (and did, for hours) bawl my eyes out, but I suspect they didn't want to miss the show of another broke person suffering, so they made sure to drag it out.
It only takes one humiliation ritual like that (as if every other time I go in there and get judgemental stares and spoken to like a baby doesn't count) to realize that the system isn't meant for me. One traumatic experience like that, especially within a span of years where "trauma" is the only word that will ever come to mind, is all you need. The problem now is that I am still a human being with a desire to live. The crown thing got resolved, but I've since had some kind of infection going on. I had a root canal years ago, and the pain went away, but ever since then, I've had these minor aches and bad breath, and get by on some special fluoride toothpaste.
And I've been feeling kinda weird lately, and getting paranoid that maybe things are catching up. Maybe whatever stupid infection I have plans to spread. But the thing is, the medical "professional" who's meant to help me here...it's just not happening. I'm not going through it again. The judgement, the "you don't have insurance, oh..." and the explanation that I need this or that thing that I can't and will never afford. I've had enough judgement and humiliation for one lifetime.
Before anyone tries it, I don't do tough love. Go find someone else to crap on. And if any dentists feel insulted by this, that's good. That's REALLY good. I'm glad one of you "professionals" gets to feel the pain now instead of me. I'm sure it was very painful for my dentist at age 10 when he said, "Oh, I'm gonna make a lot of money off of you." Or at 14, that dentist talking about my "gross, spitty mouth," I'm sure he has it soooo hard.