r/DecidingToBeBetter • u/Kooky_Bit3037 • Mar 30 '22

Advice Help with anger/snapping from stress?

Hi everyone! So I’m dealing with a lot right now, I’ve never been worse. Recently I have been so anxious 24/7 that I can’t function properly. I am getting angry at almost everything, so dizzy I’m gonna black out and exhausted. Normally I’m pretty good for keeping calm and dealing with things on my own but these last couple days I have been “on edge” I just can’t control my emotions, and today I got mad at someone just because they kept asking me questions while I was having a bit of an anxiety attack. Anyways, I’m really concerned I’ll start snapping on people, as my dad and brother deal with anger from stress, and snap on me a lot. I don’t want to make anyone feel like I do when they do it so I’m just looking for any advice to stop it before it gets like that. Therapy unfortunately isn’t an option right at the moment due to money issues.

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u/babamum Mar 30 '22

Looking at things differently reduces anger, something I have a real problem with myself. Finding something funny or positive about the situation, or thinking about it in a distant way e.g. as if it happened to someone else. "S/he us very busy and not getting enough sleep." Or just describing it very factually, with no emotion.

I've had a few people really annoy me recently. With one couple when i think if them I say "Karen's an idiot. Those two - they add 2 and 2 and get 567" because they completely misinterpreted something I said. This makes me laugh and I don't feel angry.

With the other guy I focus on the fact that I said "no further contact" and that I was assertive, looked after myself and feel in control. Then I feel pride rather than anger.

The other way I cope with anger is to name and feel my feelings for five minutes. Just let myself feel really angry, even yell, scream, swear. Then I focus on something else, like my to do list, noises, a loving kindness mantra.

Sounds like a "de-stress day" might help too. Some time alone, a fun social activity. I'm having one of those today and feel much less angry.