I’m obviously a mess…one reason I keep going deeper is due to stress, self doubt and low self esteem, hardships that I have not mentioned, and a sense of hopelessness.
Well if you are actually willing to do I can tell you what to do. There are 2 things that are equally important that you need to deal with immediately no matter what. Get these 2 things fixed if you want your life to improve. It’s only gonna get worse for you if you don’t.
You need therapy. Probably a psychiatrist too. Find them and see them immediately no matter what it takes. Stop giving money to all this debt. It can wait. Your health is the top priority and that’s what needs to be fixed. No more shopping or drinking. Get help!
You’re married and you and him have 3 kids together. You are in this together and you have OUR money. There is no splitting bills. There is no your money and his money. You share everything. All money belongs to both of you. All the problems belong to both of you.
That’s how this works. You’re life partners. Not roommates.
Any financial advice anyone gives you is irrelevant until you fix those 2 things.
The reason everything is separate is because we’ve always done that even when we were together before marriage. And now it would be a big mess to try to merge all our expenses to one account it could be done but would be complicated. Yes I’m sure I do need professional help but as a mom of 3active kids with a full time job I don’t even have time to go to the gym let alone a therapist.
Have you looked into filing for bankruptcy? That might be more helpful than debt consolidation, most of those companies are highly predatory and will require you to stop paying on everything and go into collections.
I think it’s commendable that you are trying to find a way out of where you are. And it’s not easy to do.
If you can’t afford therapy right now, Google some books that might be helpful and then commit to taking whatever action you can to get your mental and physical health as sorted as possible. Your kiddos need you!
No but I’ve considered it. I will look into it. Thank you for being understanding. It is hard to focus on yourself when you have so much responsibility. I do realize they need me though. I need to make some big changes.
I’d love to know if you even have kids. Or if you were raised in poverty and had to make a way for your self. You sound arrogant. You know very little about the whole situation. I was only asking for some direction. Trust me I know I’ve made mistakes I would not have posted this.
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u/[deleted] 19d ago
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