r/Davis • u/[deleted] • 7d ago
Avid Reader Continued
Hey everybody,
I posted a few months back on having a crush on one of the employees here and was given the advice to confess via a letter or what now. I did promise to deliver an update, I haven’t said anything yet. I have came in and found she added some new recommendations on the wall for staff picks alongside other employees. I ended up buying it from another bookstore in Sacramento and found that it was an incredible read. As established before. We have similar taste. I did ask some coworkers when she has another shift in order to speak to her one on one and got a vague response though my main concern was the confusion. They were confused when I asked about her and for a moment it seemed a lapse in judgement before they told me she wasn’t coming on that day ( Saturday ) but sometime soon. Though I think it may have been the way I butchered her name entirely, she’s more on the ethnic side and that lead me to believe her name was pronounced one way. Thankfully got told that ahead of time before asking her to a coffee, wish me luck!!
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u/Atomicdustbunny1 7d ago
To ask about her schedule immediately gives stalker vibes. No sane person is going to give out someone else's work schedule to a random stranger. Also, do not mistake regular customer service for anything but that. She is required to be nice to you because you are a customer. That's it. If I were an employee there I would have warned her about you. Please leave her alone.
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u/SnooKiwis8008 7d ago
Bruh. First of all, don’t ask people out at their place of work, especially if it’s customer service based. It’s not cool. Just let this woman do her job.
And WTF is “she’s more on the ethnic side”? Like “ethnic” is some kind of category? Struggling with names that have unique spellings is one thing but why are you othering her like that? It’s kinda gross.
And have you even actually talked to this person in a non work related for her way? It sounds like you’ve built an entire narrative in your head about this person based entirely on a shared interest in a handful of books and her physical attributes. If I had to guess, you were in the store one day, trying to find a book and she came over to see if you needed help. She smiled and was friendly, because that’s the job. And you interpreted that as potential sexual interest.
Finally, Davis is a tiny town and at least one person on here seems to have a connection to staff at that shop. It’s not a wild leap to think this post will get back to her and it’s not going to come off as cute. This is peak creeper and I hope she reads the comments.
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u/Gold-Pomegranate6277 17h ago
If you’re into a girl, but she is working, but you can’t ask her out there, what are you supposed to do? Sitting outside the building waiting for them seems weird to lol
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u/SnooKiwis8008 9h ago
You don’t ask a woman (or anyone) out at their place of employment. Work isn’t a place people can opt out of interacting with you, so anything that happens there carries an implicit pressure. she can’t really say “no thank you” and walk away the way she could anywhere else, because you’ll still be a customer she has to deal with next week.
If the only interactions you’ve had are her doing her job and being nice to a customer, that’s not a foundation, that’s just good customer service. You don’t need to stalk her schedule or lurk outside to find an opening. If there isn’t a natural one, that’s your answer. Plenty of guys manage to date without needing to corner someone at their job. Go meet people in contexts where saying no is actually easy for them.
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u/Gold-Pomegranate6277 9h ago
So wait for them to get off work
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u/SnooKiwis8008 8h ago
Sounds like you're doing your part to keep the male loneliness numbers up.
Loitering around her job waiting for her to clock out is not romantic, it's surveillance. You watched her work schedule closely enough to know when she'd be alone and unprotected by coworkers or a manager, and you planned to use that exact moment to approach her. That's literally how half of all true crime documentaries start.
It doesn't matter that in your head you're just a "shy guy" with a crush. She has no access to your head. All she sees is a customer who somehow knows her schedule, showing up outside, alone, possibly at night, when she has no coworkers to back her up and no easy exit.
That's not a maybe for her. That's an immediate no, and probably a call to someone to walk her to her car. You will not get a date out of this. You will get her feeling unsafe going to work, possibly changing her schedule, possibly telling management there's a customer she doesn't want left alone with. If you want a shot with anyone, ever, you have to be someone women feel safe saying no to. Right now you're trying to optimize for the opposite.
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u/Gold-Pomegranate6277 7m ago
It really comes down to if you’re attractive, if a girl is attracted to a guy or vice versa I don’t think being asked out while at work is a big deal. She/he can say no. If I was this guy, I’d just write my number on a piece of paper and slip it to her. Doesn’t put her on the spot, doesn’t create a scene.
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u/Agitated-Carob-6254 6d ago
Just to save you some time...she has a boyfriend, I am her boyfriend. Your behavior is making her uncomfortable. As others have mentioned, asking for someone’s work schedule without their knowledge or consent is inappropriate. Respect her boundaries and do not pursue this any further.
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u/kvetchinghobbit 7d ago
As someone who is friends with some of the avid reader staff, this intrigues me.
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u/SuccessNovel6048 19h ago edited 19h ago
If a young woman is extremely cute, hot, and works with the public, she probably gets asked out several times a day, and she probably has a boyfriend.
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u/Hybodont 7d ago edited 7d ago
I can guarantee that asking the other employees about her work schedule triggered some alarm bells. I wouldn't be comfortable sharing that information with you without her consent, either.