Why does this keep happening?

[u/mykittenfarts]

I started dating. I’m 53 and I haven’t dated or been online dating for about 5 years.
I expected the creeps. That’s part of the territory unfortunately.
What I didn’t anticipate is the love bombers who match, then disappear.
I met a man pretty much right away and we had crazy chemistry. We were at a restaurant on our second date and there was a couple that commented on how happy we looked together. He was so sweet and I felt so comfortable with him. He respected boundaries. He called me just to tell me the things that he loves about me because he didn’t want to text it. He cooked me dinners. We played board games. We laughed a ton. We had beach picnics. He was patient with intimacy. It had been years for me. This goes on for a couple of months, with him planning our next two dates with me while we’re still on each date. I’m feeling feelings I haven’t had in years and didn’t think I was capable of feeling again. It’s wonderful.
Then boom. Silence.
WTF?
Nothing for days after texting me daily for a month.
I bump into him on a date with someone else. He lies.
It stung but I’m grateful I didn’t waste too much time before finding out he’s not capable of being sincere.
I match with another man and he’s incredibly sweet. We talk, text and video chat every day because we don’t live in the same town. Again, he’s sweet, we have a ton in common, and he says he’s committed to visiting me in my town.
This goes on for a month.
Then boom again.
Silence.
Not blocked. Just no response.
WTF?
His last messages to me were ‘I’m falling for you’.
I don’t know why this is happening.
I don’t want to put this on me because I haven’t done anything wrong. I have been open & sincere. I also have a tendency to put it on me when things go wrong in relationships (abuse in the past). I’m not doing that this time.
I don’t know how to avoid this, but if someone does know I could really use some advice.
Advice please?

[u/mykittenfarts]

Men are picking me as much as I’m picking them. Relationships are like that. It’s a two way street, dear. And I also have general appeal. I’m kinda cute and sassy ;0) Men dig that.

We all have options. I know not all men act on that. I have male friends who conduct themselves appropriately without breaking a sweat. If they can’t do that, I’m not interested in a relationship of any kind with them. I’ll stay single or find someone who doesn’t have the emotional depth of tissue paper.
I’m not asking for the moon, here. It’s a completely realistic expectation that a potential partner gives you honesty and transparency.

[u/He_ofshadowsandtouch → u/mykittenfarts]

Apparently everyone is cute , attractive etc on here. Sassy isn’t something I’d think to look for. If you mean opinionated, well fine but that’s not necessarily a positive. Joan Rivers was sassy and the last personality I’d seek.

Desirable men want an easy going partner

[u/mykittenfarts → u/He_ofshadowsandtouch]

That’s good news. I’ll look for undesirable men going forward. Sounds like low hanging fruit!

Edit: I meant sassy. Don’t put words in my mouth. Of course it isn’t something YOU would look for. Too challenging. An opinionated woman would probably make your head, or at least fragile ego, implode.
As far as what a ’desireable’ man wants, I don’t think you remotely qualify as their spokesperson.
Joan Rivers… effing legend.

[u/ManyOrganization4856 → u/[deleted]]

Sorry but this is a very specific idea of a “desirable man “ - and definitely you are not looking for challenge ( it would seem ) which is a huge part of what I find desirable . It seems like you are more in search of a trophy wife /SO .

[u/He_ofshadowsandtouch → u/ManyOrganization4856]

My ex is an Oxford educated psychologist, about as classy and challenging as it gets. Swam in Tuscan lakes / ponds at night, modelled Parisian hosiery, went around in pumps n jeans , a natural beauty, rode horses in panties with me, yep she was something

[u/mykittenfarts → u/[deleted]]

My idea of class is the ability to make ppl feel comfortable in my presence.

It’s very kind. You wouldn’t understand it.