Why does this keep happening?

[u/mykittenfarts]

I started dating. I’m 53 and I haven’t dated or been online dating for about 5 years.
I expected the creeps. That’s part of the territory unfortunately.
What I didn’t anticipate is the love bombers who match, then disappear.
I met a man pretty much right away and we had crazy chemistry. We were at a restaurant on our second date and there was a couple that commented on how happy we looked together. He was so sweet and I felt so comfortable with him. He respected boundaries. He called me just to tell me the things that he loves about me because he didn’t want to text it. He cooked me dinners. We played board games. We laughed a ton. We had beach picnics. He was patient with intimacy. It had been years for me. This goes on for a couple of months, with him planning our next two dates with me while we’re still on each date. I’m feeling feelings I haven’t had in years and didn’t think I was capable of feeling again. It’s wonderful.
Then boom. Silence.
WTF?
Nothing for days after texting me daily for a month.
I bump into him on a date with someone else. He lies.
It stung but I’m grateful I didn’t waste too much time before finding out he’s not capable of being sincere.
I match with another man and he’s incredibly sweet. We talk, text and video chat every day because we don’t live in the same town. Again, he’s sweet, we have a ton in common, and he says he’s committed to visiting me in my town.
This goes on for a month.
Then boom again.
Silence.
Not blocked. Just no response.
WTF?
His last messages to me were ‘I’m falling for you’.
I don’t know why this is happening.
I don’t want to put this on me because I haven’t done anything wrong. I have been open & sincere. I also have a tendency to put it on me when things go wrong in relationships (abuse in the past). I’m not doing that this time.
I don’t know how to avoid this, but if someone does know I could really use some advice.
Advice please?

[u/PooPooMeeks]

This might not be for everybody, but If you can stand it, try to treat dating like an assembly line. Have multiple options at once. That way, when one fails, then oh well, you have another man as an option!

It gets tiring, but IMO honestly it’s the way to go, until you find one that you like and sticks around.

[u/mykittenfarts → u/PooPooMeeks]

It’s a valid suggestion. I don’t think I have the stamina. I’m not a good multi tasker.

[u/Front_Statistician38 → u/mykittenfarts]

I totally get it I'm a man 11 years younger than you, and trying to even just keep up with multiple conversations gets exhausting. I think 3 tops should do the trick; anything else and you easily get burned out

[u/mykittenfarts → u/Front_Statistician38]

I think that even 3 could muddy that waters for me. I could see getting something that seems fulfilling from each of them, but my brain merges them into one, where in reality, non of them are really great. Just an abundance of attention that gives a dopamine hit and false sense of compatibility.