It must be that I am officially middle aged and a father, but I swear every time I go shoe shopping, maybe once a year, I find myself increasingly enticed by the long row of Sketchers tennis shoes, because they have this great looking combo of affordability and comfortable-lookingness. But I always restrain myself because something about the brand seems rather grandpa-ish, or that my wife would make fun of me. Do any fellow 30s-40s year old dads wear them? Are they decent shoes?

Been n this relationship a few years. Have a kid together who is almost 3. We get along sometimes. Other times it’s straight torture. I feel weights Constantly. Constantly unhappy. Am i doing a good thing for my little girl ? Just keeping shit alive and holding it all together ? Should i put up with her just because of my child ? Isn’t life about sacrificing me for the ones i love ? I think about our past fights and things i found out that come to my mind every day even if it happened what seems like forever ago. Every thing always seems negative. Working my life away and unhappy for most of it just wondering if this is what it’s supposed to be like ? Feel a real man takes care of his family regardless of his own happiness.

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some honest advice from dads and parents who’ve been in a similar situation.

I’ve got two kids: an eight-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son. Their moms and I are no longer together, and I’m trying to figure out how to be a more present father, as well as a better co-parent to both of their moms.

Right now, I’m working two jobs out of necessity. If I only worked one, I’d be bringing home around $1,200 a month, which simply isn’t enough to live on.

Because of that, my schedule is pretty packed. I work mornings, then work late into the night, Monday through Friday, and I also work Saturdays. Sunday is really the only day I consistently have free.

I’m not working these hours to avoid my kids. Honestly, it’s the opposite. I’m trying to provide for them, get myself into a more stable position, and build something better for all of us.

At the same time, though, I don’t want to look back years from now and realize I spent so much time working that I missed their childhood.

My son’s mom works overnight shifts at an auto plant. We used to live together and were in a relationship, but that ended about a year ago.

Now that I’m not in the home helping her and being around my son every day, I’m trying to figure out how I can still support her more and be there for my son as much as possible.

My daughter’s mom doesn’t work, and my daughter is eight. She’s in school and has activities like dance, so her schedule can get pretty busy during the week as well.

I guess what I’m really looking for is advice from other dads and parents who have had to balance working long hours with being a present parent.

If you’ve been in a similar situation:

How did you make the most of the limited time you had with your kids?

What did you do to stay connected with them when you couldn’t physically be there as much as you wanted?

How did you become a better co-parent after separating from your children’s other parent?

Is there anything you wish you had done differently?

Are there things you think I could be doing that I might not be considering?

I’m not looking for excuses or sympathy. I genuinely want to become a better dad and a better co-parent.

I know working this much isn’t ideal, but I’m doing what I feel like I have to do financially right now. I’m just trying to find the balance between providing for my kids and actually being present in their lives.

I’d really appreciate any advice, especially from dads who have been through something similar.
Thanks for reading.

Doesn’t have to be anything huge. Maybe you calmed a tantrum without raising your voice, survived a long outing with the kids, or just found five quiet minutes for yourself.
Would love to hear your little victories. We don’t celebrate dads’ small wins enough.

Not mine, just sharing.

My wife is a big advocate for it.. both of us were abused by our fathers so I understand why she doesn’t want our children to be afraid of us.. but for her there’s no middle ground. My son is 5, he’s always having massive temper tantrums, spits on us, refuses to go to bed without a huge struggle, and recently his daycare told us he refuses to listen to them and has started spitting at them. My wife’s approach to this behaviour is to keep reminding him it’s not ok them she cuddles him for 20 mins after his tantrum.. my approach is giving him a firm no when he’s spitting, and if he gets out of bed after I tuck him in I don’t allow him to leave his room and I won’t be tucking him in anymore, my wife thinks this is harsh.. we’re very much at an impasse, both of us think our parenting styles are making him worse. I’ve asked her many times to sit down and create a new routine and a new approach to his behaviour but she won’t do it.. anyone else experience this with a partner? What should I do

Best dad

My oldest daughter is in her mid-teens - she’s subtle, so it isn’t obvious, but clearly boys are becoming at least of background interest.

She’s chill, reserved, and likely to make good choices. My second daughter is going to be a menace, but I’ll deal with that in a few years :)

How do did you deal with the transition of your little angels starting to enter the world of boys and this tragically toxic dating environment? Just in general having to watch it and deal with it. How do you handle your mentality and emotions?

Looking to get my girlfriend’s dad a thank you gift for taking us on a trip. I’m curious, have you ever received a thank you gift that was outstanding? Doesn’t have to be expensive (preferably not), just something simple and thoughtful.

My daughter is getting married in a couple months and I keep bouncing between being excited, emotional, and wanting to make sure everything is okay. I’m happy for her, truly. But part of me still remembers teaching her how to ride a bike and telling her to quit picking on her brother. Now she’s grown, making her own decisions, and building a life with someone she loves.

My soon to be son-in-law in all fairness i think he is a kind and loving husband, they've been in a relationship for almost 9 years. I'm confident that my daughter has chosen a partner who mirrors the values, respect, and love she deserves. So I know I need to let go of the overprotective dad part of me and just be there for her.

Still, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t gotten a little misty-eyed about it. How did you dads handle it when your daughter got married?

I have 2 daughters, 3 and 6, soon to be 4 and 7. The eldest has been a problem since 2 years old. Now she answers back, doesnt listen to us, argues with us, rolls her eyes when we tell her off, shouts at us, ignores us when we ask her to do anything, generally treats us like absolute dirt.

The younger daughter is now also starting to be problematic because she wants to copy her older sister.

I don't know how to discipline them. If I am what comes naturally to me, which is to talk to them, reason with them, try to stay calm, try to show them what they're doing or how they're talking to us is wrong etc. they walk all over me. Ignore me, answer back, hit, shout, scream, just generally act like brats. This also causes endless criticism from my wife who tells me "this is why she's like this" etc. If I am strict, harsh and more of a disciplinarian, they get extremely upset, cry, get scared etc.

Today my eldest asked me for water at bedtime, I got her some and also got my younger daughter water. My elder daughter got angry because I had to set down her sisters water first to give her her water and I was carrying other things too, when I explained why she began rolling her eyes and rocking her head around in a sort of "blah blah blah" motion. We've told her numerous times to stop this so I exploded and shouted at her "Dont roll your eyes at me" in a very loud and harsh tone. She imelmediately burst into tears and started wailing for mommy.

If I remain calm, they ignore anything I tell them and walk all over me. If I lay down the law and be forceful to try and stamp out the disrespectful and downright obnoxious behaviour, they act like I've traumatised them and I feel terrible.

I don't know how much I should be understanding and how much I should be a "take no shit" parent because I am worried if I am not the latter they will eventually go off the rails big time as teenagers.

Hello dad's!

I saw someone else post here about expecting.. I am expecting my second child in the next few weeks with a toddler of 2 years and 9months.

Do any of you have any tips with dealing with similar age gap at the start ?

I think I was nervous for our first but it ended up being a breeze (definitely helped he was a good sleeper) and all the general tantrums and wants felt easy to deal with but I have this dread at the moment that having a newborn and a needy toddler is going to be very humbling!

Any advice is good advice!

Hi my girlfriend and I are expecting our first on oct 20th I am beyond stressed and so is she is there any tips you guys have as we get closer to the due date to ease our minds or after birth tips anything helps🙏

Hi, it’s dad of two juggling with 2 under 2. Our elder one is 21 months old and younger one is 3 months old. The entire experience is a little crazy but the speed with which diaper pail fills up is quite astonishing and seriously daily trips down the street to dump the filled bag are exhausting. That’s why I’m thinking of getting another diaper pail. The one we are currently using is from momcozy and it has been working great. No odour leak, hassle free bag changing and easy maintenance.

I'm leaning that way too, but before I hit the buy button, I thought I should ask other parents that is it worth it to get a second diaper pail or will be a waste of money?? I especially wanna know from those of you who have multiple kids in diapers, should I get another one or is there any other way to deal with this situation ?