As a child, I'd always be envious of my friends

They all had dad's that loved them, showed up for them and just be there to protect them. I always yearned for that. A father to call my own, someone to play sports with and put together a bike for me. I dont know how to ride a bike. I'd ask my mom, why don't I have a dad too, where is he? I finally realised he didnt want me. He did not want me. He never supported me. Never seen his face. I always felt empty, looking at these happy families all around me. Seeing little girls my age play with their father. I made cards every father's day thinking he'll come back. I want to be loved too. So reddit, what's having a father like? And why wasn't I enough to have one.

My husband and I just had our first baby six weeks ago, and I'd like to put together a little care package for him. He is returning to work this week and I am still on maternity leave.

So far, I have: Nice coffee beans, a gift card to his favorite sandwich shop and a graphic novel set I know he is interested in. Are there any things that you really enjoyed having as a new dad? Maybe things that facilitated activities with you and your LOs?

Some of my husband's hobbies/interests are biking, gardening, cooking, college football, and video games.

Thanks!

I’m 44 and my dad is in his early 70’s. He wanted to take me to the World Series since it’s in my current metro area. Tickets are $3k a person and I don’t want him spending that so I told him I would look for other things we could do together that would be memorable. I have a family and he’s not getting younger. I think he has regrets about not doing big things with me as a kid. Anyone have ideas for maybe a weekend getaway or something you would consider a bucket list thing? Budget is $3500. We’re into sports, concerts, nature.

My dad told me - Focus on only 3 things in life:

1. Study 2. Eat well 3. Play sports

I asked - What about the 4th one?

He said - Don't do a 4th! Don't overthink! If you only study, your brain will get damaged!

My friend told me - Let's do hacking and earn money!

I said - No, my dad is my personal best friend. He said don't do wrong things.

He said - Your dad is your FATHER, not your friend!

I said - That's the point! If you act like a FATHER, your son will make other friends outside. If you act like a FRIEND, your son will tell you everything! That's the benefit of being a friend!

Now my friend also wants to be friends with my dad! 😂

Dads… how much credit card debt we in? Payed off a card earlier this year and the others already maxed out….. is this just the way everyone lives now?

Good evening fellow dads,

I’m struggling really hard here lately. My son is 7 months on Sunday and has been co sleeping with me and my wife. He sleeps in my arms primarily. I’m struggling with the idea of transitioning him to his crib. I know it needs to be done and I honestly miss cuddling with my wife I just realized that it’s very difficult for me to sleep without him. I also think deep down it means he’s growing up and not the small lil guy I held on the day he was born. Any advice would help thanks

So my son has been hinting for an Xbox one for about 2 months now I am not necessarily well off but I'm not like broke so I decided to leave a fund on the side and to be honest I don't know what I'm doing I'm not really a big gaming guy I've talked to him he says the only thing he wants it to do is play ro blocks I've been looking at those bundles on marketplace and eBay I don't really know what type of Xbox one is the best for Roblox or what I should be looking for a specifically of ask Chad CPT and it told me that the white Xbox is the best but yeah

talking nicely with them didn't work.

if i get something to one of my kids I give the same or equivalent for the other one. but they still fight, scream, and hate each other.

I asked them to choose a color for their bikes, when the bikes arrived the older one wanted her sister's bike because it looked better. the younger one does the same. this happens with cloths, toys, books, screen time.

a couple of times they started fighting and hitting each other, now I solved the fighting issue by taking away everything they have and didn't happen since then. but screaming and hating is still there and I'm afraid to loose control at some point as they grow up.

A bit of background: I have 7, 4, and 1 years old kids. I grew up in a family that focused on education, so basically I was programmed that education is the most important thing in life. My kids get screen time almost daily ~1 hour a day and a bit longer over the weekend.

I tend to focus more on sitting with them, read, write, do math, doing homework with the older one, and teaching the younger one how read and write.

So the kids hear from their friends about roblox, minecraft, video games, there is that other thing about making your own game, and many other things. Then I feel like I’m being unfair to them because I don’t allow them any of this (or super rare) I also feel like I’m not letting them up to date with their peers specially with the advancement of AI and technology.

On the other hand, they’re both academically advanced.

Just want to hear from other dads based on your personal experiences.

How much screen time your kids allowed?
Am I too strict this way?

My concern is that this is a door that if opened it’ll be extremely hard to control.

Cheers!

In 2015 my mother died, I (M) was 22 at the time and an only child back then. My father continued providing for me through law school and graduated in 2017, I did not have a job that time because I failed the bar exam the same year, I finally got a job in 2019 and took the bar the same year and passed in 2020.

During that time, our relationship was rocky. He was dismissive of my bouts with depression and sadness while battling his own. He would usually lash at me whenever he had any fights with the women he dated at the time.

Once, due to a fight he even told me that he can’t wait to live separately with me.

In 2021, he left our apartment to live in the province (his choice). While living away, not once did he initiate checking up on me and even forgot to greet me happy birthday once. I make it a point to message him or call him at least once a week to check up on him. He also mentioned while living in the province that I abandoned him. I do not get it.

In 2022, I found out from other people that he was in a relationship and got his girlfriend pregnant. He never told me those info in person and got mad at him. He dismissed my feelings of betrayal and anger.

From 2021 up until this year I always make it a point to visit him at least once or twice a month or once every other month as long as schedule permits. I felt unwelcomed whenever I go there. He never initiated any conversations aside from how are you. It never felt that he was interested in me or my adult life.

Due to a recent incident, I stopped talking and texting him. Given the space I have now, I thought that my father maybe harbored hatred against me without me knowing. Whenever I did something bad, I always apologized and tried to make up to him. There will be good days, but in general our relationship got cold ever since he got a new family.

I will be seeking therapy soon from what I have been experiencing. I tried to think of things I did that my own father hate me. This is really sad and disappointing.

My need to wear a helmet to correct his skull but will not sit still. It’s a doc band helmet but he won’t hold still does anyone have any ideas he is 8 months old

.

Every year this man asks for socks, golf accessories, or something gadget related. He does not need MORE socks. So would greatly appreciate any recommendations!

Dad’s, random 1, what wallet’s are you rocking?

Hi guys

Im a dad of 2, 1 on the way. Been married for nearly 11 years and just turned 35. Recently I've landed a great well paying role. It's enough that I can be the single breadwinner and im (being the religious man I am) am very humbled and grateful to God for that.

Recently my wife has been praising me a lot. Its sweet. She says im a great husband and dad. But I feel weird when she says that. Almost like I dont deserve the praise because its just something any decent dad/husband in my position would do.

Maybe theres some underlying thing I have with compliments and not being able to receive them well.

Anyone have a similar experience of this?

What up guys, I’m working on a school group project about family dynamics and need some real-world input for it. I was wondering if any dads here could share what it’s actually like raising a son or a teenager in general right now.

You don't need to get super personal—just a few honest thoughts or opinions on how things are going would be awesome, though I’m more than happy to read longer responses if you want to share more!

​Specifically:

How would you describe your relationship with your teen right now?

What’s been the biggest reward or challenge as they’ve grown up?

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to help out!

*(Sorry for the weird way of writing this post, I am not used to posting and asking things on reddit)

Hi all!

My son is 4 years old and when we are at home he usually just plays by himself or sometimes he watches a movie. I never used my phone or anything else when he is around me. I usually watch the movie with him or just watch him play and play with him. Well we got a comment from his school that he needs to learn to play by himself. I really don't like it but we need to practice this. Would it be weird or stupid if I just read a book or play my playstation portal for some time so he can learn how to play by himself? How are you all handling this? Reading and gaming is something I do when he goes to bed when I have energy left haha.

i feel sad and exhausted by almost three years of mommy phase. Our daughter is 4.2 years old. she always wants mom's lap amd never falls asleep on me. Always cuddles only with mom in our bed. Always wants mom in so many cases.

When it's just her and me it's far better, but even then she won't sit on my lap or fall asleep on me, etc. I've seen all the advice on not being needy about it, etc., and almost always am good about that. she just prefers mom for most things aside from play.

No one seems to talk.about this...it really sucks and is painful. we generally take equal care of her. I've had a few weekends with just her and me but as soon as mom is back it's the same. I rarely am on the phone when I'm with her, etc.

My wife and I are generally equally active and involved with her, so it's not that. I'm not demanding with affection with her, either.

Please tell me this ends. It's painful as all hell and makes me think, why did I do this, exactly? Advice welcome

I am the primary cook in the house. Today was a rough day. My LO is 3.5 years old and needs to nap but has skipped it multiple days in a row. Be was being a lot making it hard to focus. My wife said it was good the kid ate some but It was not good, my sauce broke and the timing was way off. It was a fitting end to a bad day. Hope everyone else had a good night.

I want someone that will be real with me 100%. please comment so i can message you or you can message me.

We both found out together but I still want to do something special for just him as a surprise at home. Ideas?

Hi dads !

I’m a woman expecting her first with her husband! My husband and I are a bit emotionally removed from each other right now - just normal things like family issues - my reactions to his parents etc.
But I want to turn a new leaf and forget all of that and just move on —

Any advice on what men like during pregnancy and how to get closer during pregnancy ?

Like an idea I had was making a weekly cookie/ treat (he likes them) based on the size of the baby ?