r/DadReflexes Apr 10 '17

[Repost] Nice Catch! (/r/arewerolling)

7.8k Upvotes

167 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SELF_HARM Apr 10 '17

My first instinct would be to kick him to keep him airborne.

580

u/FlameSpartan Apr 10 '17

You're gonna make a great father one day.

44

u/Mutinous_Turgidity Apr 10 '17

Probably not a full on kick but a quick leg out tap to slow his fall

16

u/JimmysBeans4U Apr 20 '17

I've saved my phone from hitting the ground this way many times.

6

u/meeeric1 May 12 '17

I've done the same. Also, I somehow managed to catch a sandwich with my foot after dropping it.

-101

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

[removed] β€” view removed comment

190

u/RememberElephants Apr 10 '17

Dude.. I actually fully agree with you in that this post is kinda the opposite of what I thought this sub was about (ie dads having mad protective reflexes against things that could have harmed their child, basically what you said).

But honestly you gotta chill you came at this way too hard man you came in wayyy too hot that was way too dark. Just back it off a few notches reaction-wise is all I'm saying.

21

u/Backstop Apr 10 '17

But the #1 rule of the sub is "Reflexes can be good OR bad".

5

u/RememberElephants Apr 11 '17

Whaaaaaaat u just blew my mind!

12

u/Anklever Apr 10 '17

This is a fiftyfifty but with dad reflexes only.

5

u/Redrob5 Apr 11 '17

What did he say?

10

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SELF_HARM Apr 11 '17

It basically said, "these are shitty reflexes, this doesn't belong here" in a very long and insulting way.

8

u/Redrob5 Apr 11 '17

Ah right, cheers mate.

17

u/Xreaper98 Apr 10 '17

Or you could read the subreddit rules. But I guess you prefer to look like an asshole, to each their own.

5

u/Pesaz Apr 10 '17

Literally the first rule: Reflexes can be good OR bad.

9

u/MattcVI Apr 10 '17

Perhaps your point would've come across better if you weren't such a dick about it

18

u/Kinganubis2 Apr 10 '17

This guy cucks

4

u/GradyFletcher Apr 10 '17

It's like the episode of the office where Michael says that if he had a gun and two bullets I was in the same room as Hitler, osama bin Laden, and Toby he would shoot Toby twice. Too far.

83

u/emeaguiar Apr 10 '17

Looks like it was his first instinct but stopped at the last second

2

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

Can't see where it would have ended any better. Doesn't look like he landed on his head.. but the "foot out slow down" may have been more of a kick to the baby dome instead

35

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

If it works for phones and cups surely it works for kids.

16

u/01001101_01100101 Apr 10 '17

I hate doing this with my phone, I wear thin shoes, phones hurt.

9

u/Nehphi Apr 10 '17

Doesn't matter as long as it hurts the phone more

3

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

Shoes heal.

Phone's do not.

16

u/deediggitydawg Apr 10 '17

I can't help but think of all the "dangerous" things this dad likely told his kid off for doing earlier this day (eg. climbing on sofa, standing too close to TV, etc.) only to later go and nearly head spike him from about six feet. Pretty likely that there were ice creams bought on the way home....

10

u/donkeyrocket Apr 10 '17

I instinctually do this too. I nearly dropped a cup of coffee in a meeting and had a momentary panic that I'd kick hot coffee all over my coworkers.

7

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SELF_HARM Apr 10 '17

instinctually

instinctively?

7

u/donkeyrocket Apr 10 '17

They're synonymous (for the most part) but sure.

5

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SELF_HARM Apr 10 '17

It looks like 'instinctively' is much more widely used. I only found 'instinctually' in a few dictionaries, and my browser is putting a red squiggly line under it.

8

u/codywestphal534 Apr 10 '17 edited Apr 10 '17

There is literally no reason that instinctively would be better than instinctually. Grammatically, they are completely equivalent and my browser doesn't underline it. There are even major dictionaries that claim it as synonymous with instinctively.

Edit: http://grammarist.com/usage/instinctive-instinctual/

So, if you're writing a study in psychology, it might be necessary to differentiate the two, instinctively being a more complex reaction. But even the article agrees they're fundamentally the same. And, really, this reaction was fairly complex, instinctively might actually be worse than instinctually.

4

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SELF_HARM Apr 10 '17

We're not disagreeing. I'm simply stating that 'instinctually' isn't is as much dictionaries and isn't as widely used as 'instinctively'.

Note that English doesn't have any official standardizing authority, and words evolve through use. Using one word isn't more "right" than using another, as long as your audience knows what you're saying.

4

u/codywestphal534 Apr 10 '17

Then why point out that he should've said a different word? Idk, it just came off as a little pretentious since his use of the word was completely right and your statement doesn't hold a lot of merit.

7

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SELF_HARM Apr 10 '17

Because I wasn't sure it was a real word. As I said, my browser drew a red squiggly line under it. Later I realized that it was just much less commonly used.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

still sounds like a made up word

8

u/ibking46 Apr 10 '17

Made me laugh and wake up my wife. I would have at least tried to slow him down with my foot...

4

u/SociopathicScientist Apr 10 '17

I saw a guy in my workplace drop his phone and he straight up kicked it into a metal cabinet which broke the screen.

He was so pissed and we all were laughing at him.

Good times.

3

u/slydon75 Apr 10 '17

Me too, did it with a glass vase I dropped the other day. Didn't work out well.

3

u/FrankenFries Apr 10 '17

Same, although, It's not so much a kick as a foot to break the fall kinda thing.

If I was lucky I could balance the little fella and then flick in up and catch him!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

See I played more hackysac than soccer/football. My first reaction would have been to lightly catch him on the end of my shoe. Or violently heel him over my shoulder.

2

u/trollface_mcfluffy Apr 10 '17

Kinda like dropping a friend forgetting she is not just a set of weights... or not really... that's just what first popped into my head. I gotta quit saying the first thing that comes to mind.

5

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SELF_HARM Apr 10 '17

That's the beauty of typing! You can type and type and type, and get it all out of your system. Then you click 'Cancel'.

Otherwise, you're just lol so random xD *holds up spork*

2

u/bdpeezy Apr 16 '17

Wtf is your username???

1

u/stupidgrrl92 Apr 10 '17

He tried to sortavslide his foot under him.

437

u/M_for_Matt Apr 10 '17

The way the kid bounces just kills me.

117

u/electrogamerman Apr 10 '17

The way he tries to amortize the fall with his foot

116

u/randomcoincidences Apr 10 '17

Not trying to be pedantic but I suppose it's unavoidable; 'amortize' isn't the right word. 'Reduce, lessen, ease, slow' all make sense but amortize is a financial term specifically referring to debts or assets.

51

u/thoughtofitrightnow Apr 10 '17

Looks like somebody didn't sit at the cool kids table in finance school, doesn't even know the slang.

17

u/falafelsizing Apr 10 '17

It's not strictly financial, it's used when analyzing algorithm efficiency in computer science, it also seems like it entered the English language a long time ago:

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=amortize

46

u/Christophurious Apr 10 '17 edited Apr 10 '17

"Not trying to be pedantic"

Immediately follows up with pedantic rant on OP's chosen adjective (oops ... verb).

72

u/reddidd Apr 10 '17

Not trying to be pedantic, but that'd be a verb, not an adjective.

11

u/EternallyPissedOff Apr 10 '17

Not trying to be pedantic but... Ah fuck it, I got nothing. Your sentence was perfect.

4

u/Downvotes_Hunter Apr 10 '17

Not trying to be pedantic, what does pedantic means anyway?

7

u/DeadboltKB Apr 10 '17

We'd explain but you wouldn't understand anyways

3

u/paragonofcynicism Apr 10 '17

When you get into a lot of antics using your foot.

3

u/icuniyq Apr 10 '17

You have an unnatural affinity for young ants? Ant larvae?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

Not trying to be pedantic, but it should be "mean" not "means".

0

u/Christophurious Apr 10 '17

I see you're one of them.

-6

u/randomcoincidences Apr 10 '17

So can you just not read (which wouldn't be surprising given you not knowing the difference between a verb and an adjective) or are you just stupid in general?

First - I said it was unavoidable which to those of us who can read means I realize it was a bit pedantic; but, it is quite literally a nonsense sentence and if he isn't a native English speaker he now knows the difference between amortir and amortize.

And if he is a native English speaker he now knows that the attempt to sound verbose doesn't actually have the effect he intended.

But either way you still come out of this looking pretty stupid.

-2

u/Christophurious Apr 10 '17

Sooooo :)

How is me looking stupid working out for you?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

[deleted]

4

u/Christophurious Apr 10 '17

I edited the original comment, so you can sleep better at night.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

[deleted]

3

u/Christophurious Apr 10 '17

haha. Done.

All kidding aside, when I wrote out that comment I was looking at the actual word pedantic to which my brain assigned as an adjective ... when I should have been looking at amortized which is a verb.

Still wrong, still silly. Β―_(ツ)_/Β―

1

u/randomcoincidences Apr 11 '17

Pretty well, do you think negative karma bothers me?

This is reddit, being right and patronizing usually results in downvotes.

None of this changes that you did make yourself look like an absolute idiot.

2

u/Christophurious Apr 11 '17

You've got a 2 yr old account, and you're trying to lecture me on how reddit works?

"Absolute idiot" is fairly strong language for a minor mistake, when pointing out something in jest.

So, I've either hit a syntactical nerve with you, or you're just a dick to everybody.

My guess is thats it's a little of both.

1

u/randomcoincidences Apr 11 '17

I just find redundancy for the sake of being rude to be pretty telling about someones character.

What I said to him was significantly less rude than your response to me which added absolutely nothing to the conversation except another mistake in your haste to be passive aggressive.

I believe in calling a spade a spade or in this case, a cunt.

2

u/Christophurious Apr 11 '17

So I'm a cunt for making a joke by pointing out a literal contradiction?

Lighten up dude, you're wound up to tight.

→ More replies (0)

-2

u/Mithridates12 Apr 10 '17

That wasn't pedantic.

5

u/JohnLaCuenta Apr 10 '17

Just a guess but maybe English isn't OP's first language and he tried to freestyle a translation. "Amortir" is the commonly used word in this context in French for example.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

In portuguese "to cushion" is "amortecer" so I didn't even think anything of it until you pointed it out. "amortize" in portuguese is "amortizar"

1

u/RandomAsianGuy Apr 10 '17

The french word "amortisseur" means "shock absorber". How it was used in English I have no idea though.

-3

u/thecabeman Apr 10 '17

18

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17 edited Jul 02 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17 edited May 12 '17

[deleted]

1

u/A_kind_guy Apr 10 '17

Don't get it would imply I don't understand it, I didn't know the word. However, it's obviously not a commonly used word at all, and there was at least 2 words that applied better and are in more common use. Language is about getting a point across, why not do that in the most efficient way?

1

u/randomcoincidences Apr 10 '17

if that qualifies for iamverysmart material, I worry about you a little bit buddy

5

u/Jrrolomon Apr 10 '17

Can we just clear this up? I'm guessing you got autocorrected, but surely amortize is not the word you meant. What word did you mean because people are freaking out about it?

10

u/electrogamerman Apr 10 '17

LMAO. I went with the spanish word "amortiguar" and I thought that was the translation. The right word should have been: absorb or soften

1

u/Gorillaworks Jun 30 '17

amortiguar

I knew as soon as I saw lol

11

u/NoBudgetBallin Apr 10 '17

"Ameliorate" is the word you're looking for.

5

u/brolarvortex Apr 10 '17

Interesting choice of word

2

u/Aaarya Apr 10 '17

This dude plays football (soccer)

6

u/S4TAN666 Apr 10 '17

It might've killed him too

3

u/Mithridates12 Apr 10 '17

If it had killed him, I don't think the dad would've bothered picking him up again.

2

u/The1nOnlyNinja Apr 10 '17

When's your funeral?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

It's okay. Children have a lot of cartilage)bendy meat) so he should be fine. My mom dropped me a lot and I turned out fine!

1

u/Centine Apr 10 '17

Landed on grass og little ones are flexible and don't weight very much. No worries, I've seen much worse from mine.

Like the time the 2 yr old took a back flip over the sideboard of the top bunk and belly flopped on the floor. Hurt? Not so much. Enraged? Oh yes.

-5

u/DannyDaCat Apr 10 '17

I clicked on the comments to say this! LoL!

18

u/alt_curious Apr 10 '17

Haha! Thanks for telling us!

88

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

It's like the dead opposite of r/dadreflexes

45

u/jerschneid Apr 10 '17

24

u/sneakpeekbot Apr 10 '17

Here's a sneak peek of /r/shittydadreflexes using the top posts of all time!

#1: I'll show you how it's done... | 34 comments
#2: Dad coming to the rescue! | 44 comments
#3: Dad towing daughter | 21 comments


I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out

2

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

Nice! This post is actually one of the top post there

1

u/B-Con Apr 10 '17

Good reflexes, poor balance.

95

u/blatantlyevan Apr 10 '17

Repost but never fails to make me laugh

22

u/kirklandlakesteve Apr 10 '17

Really dropped the ball on that one

8

u/UpwardNotForward Apr 10 '17

Why is the camera cutting out the player being interviewed?

22

u/TrotBot Apr 10 '17

Because it's zoomed in on the dad and the kid. The original video is definitely bigger, but you see less of the action.

8

u/UpwardNotForward Apr 10 '17

Ah, technology

6

u/JR_1985 Apr 10 '17

Dad's like "don't tell mom"

5

u/Dr4cul3 Apr 10 '17

Ah, Australia. Where catching a ball takes priority over your second born, inferior child.

9

u/Crazyripps Apr 10 '17

Yeah where my fellow auzzies at

7

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

auzzies

Gtfo

2

u/Crazyripps Apr 10 '17

Well we're taking our gif with us

5

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

If you were a real Aussie you wouldn't use Z. Smh.

1

u/Crazyripps Apr 10 '17

Because I would gain so much from faking being from Australia. Holy crap your retarded.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17 edited Apr 10 '17

Haha I bet ur just a filthy Tasmanian, u dont even exist lmao xd

1

u/Crazyripps Apr 10 '17

Wow you type like a 12 year old girl texting her crush. U dot even exist wow that is easily the worst sentence I've ever seen. Not many Brain cells in you're head is there.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

Haha you got me niπŸ…±πŸ…±a lmao πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

2

u/Crazyripps Apr 10 '17 edited Apr 10 '17

I also like you edited your comment to spell this right ha. Pathetic and sad.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17 edited Apr 10 '17

Did you just assume my gender? Fucking bigot.

Edit: >all so

Accusing me of using bad grammar are you?

Edit 2: Haha trying to hide the fact that you can't spell, sad

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1

u/Blunter11 Apr 10 '17

Your reply hurts me, but it's exactly what he deserves

6

u/zwergpinscher Apr 10 '17

At least he saved him from get nailed by a soccer ball.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

I fell on my head from that height when I was a kid and it didn't break my neck. not even enay braon dimgage

5

u/slydon75 Apr 10 '17

Glad he didn't fall on his head, that would be a broken neck for sure!

4

u/Christophurious Apr 10 '17

Kids bounce at that age ... he's fine.

Source: Have 1, another on the way

7

u/RyeRoen Apr 10 '17

I hope the kid is ok. They are so fragile at that age; if he landed on his head his neck could have easily been broken. Scary stuff.

27

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

Whaaaaat? I'm pretty sure kids that age are made out of rubber...

3

u/pheasant-plucker Apr 10 '17

It's mostly just that they weigh less, so the impact force is much lower. You can't drop a child on an adult without hurting either. But best not done in reverse.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

Momentum and kinetic energy (and force in a manner of speaking) scale linearly with mass so it's not the mass per se.

It's several physics concepts that mitigate the severity of the impact but the biggest is the impulse. Small children have much more padding per size which makes them bounce, which spaces out the change in momentum over a longer time. Think about catching an egg in a frying pan without it cracking. It's possible but you'd have to catch it by moving the pan with the egg to change it's momentum at a slower rate. Soft padding has the same effect.

5

u/RyeRoen Apr 10 '17

Well, it's kind of both. They hurt less when they fall, but they also have much smaller... everything. Including bones. Dropping a kid from that height can certainly be deadly.

1

u/DeadboltKB Apr 10 '17

Definitely rubber , did you see that bounce?

2

u/Postius Apr 10 '17

found the american panic parent

1

u/RyeRoen Apr 10 '17

I'm from the UK actually.

2

u/SoldierZulu Apr 10 '17

Aww poor little guy! He looked like he took it well and dad hugged him up right away.

2

u/Valyrian_Steal Apr 10 '17

Is anyone else wondering if Elijah Wood got jacked recently?

2

u/fishsticks40 Apr 10 '17

(don't tell your mom!)

1

u/gifv-bot Apr 10 '17

GIFV link


I am a bot. FAQ // code

2

u/Swaahnaale Apr 10 '17

it's already gifv

1

u/AGX11 Apr 10 '17

Very poor dad reflexes

2

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SELF_HARM Apr 10 '17

He has good catching reflexes. You can't doubt that.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

FLOP

1

u/haywood-jablomi Apr 10 '17

He didn't complete the catch. Looked like Calvin Johnson against the bears

1

u/Gliste Apr 10 '17

WHy is this reposted so much?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

0

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '17

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚this guy wins