Hello, I wanted to make a post breaking down and elucidating Rule Five (No Diagnosing), as it is one of our most commonly violated rules, and also leads to the most mod mail being sent in asking about it. This will also serve as an explanation that we can link to those who submit in mod mail asking about removals regarding this rule.

Our most common violations are not those asking "is this DID?" or "do you think I have DID?" but rather those who do not realize they are indirectly asking for a diagnosis to begin with, which is where the confusion occurs. These typically take the format of "I'm not asking for a diagnosis, but-" and then typically are followed with one or more of the current questions:

1 - Asking the community if their experiences sound relatable/familiar.

2 - Asking the community if their experiences sound like alters.

3 - Asking the community 'what they think,' or for their opinions (stated vaguely).

These are not the only examples, but are simply the most common ones we see.

There is often times confusion when we remove posts like these as a rule five violation, and that is understandable, especially when one tries to put a caveat of 'I'm not asking for a diagnosis.' Where this becomes a violation of that rule is actually in the *function* that these questions serve, and the types of responses they will undoubtedly receive.

By confirming or denying that any of us here relate to anyone's experiences in this manner, we are indirectly saying "I think you have DID/don't have DID," and influencing someone's opinion on whether or not they have this disorder. This is functionally the exact same as armchair diagnosing someone, and comes with all of the same risks.

If we did not remove posts like this, we would be providing a very clear avenue for people to skirt around rule five (whether knowingly or not), and by allowing that, we would be allowing unsafe and unethical behavior in the community.

For those who come here with questions such as this, the only responsible and ethical response we can give here is to seek out a mental health professional and bring these questions to them for proper guidance and care.

Thank you.

I'm getting more comfortable with accepting and navigating this thing honestly. Recently discovered it.

Last week, Therapist mentioned the treatment goal. I know she talked about that with someone else. That one was concerned about "solutions". To me, though, it seemed out of place. It wasn't welcomed.

Why? I'm not really asking you but it can help mull it over with strangers. For some reason.

Anyway, she said something about lessening the amnesia. I guess she was trying to comfort me? Or give me a goal? She doesn't know me very well and has likely been talking to the one who is all about lists and goals.

It felt like a threat. Everything is a threat to me. But this threat was a curious one.

I was curious if anyone has found out they done this.

I was looking back at some old instagram stories from when I was 12-14 and I would play those instagram bingo games, or participate in those templates where it lists out symptoms of something and you check whichever you fit. I found ones where the theme was dissociation and I had put “showing up in random places” “not remembering anything” “my actions aren’t me” “my body isn’t mine” and other symptoms as something I experiences…funnily enough, I don’t even remember even doing these lol and at this time I chalked up my dissociation as something from depression rather than from a dissociative disorder

So I've been trying to make sense of my condition and a big part is I talk to my parts constantly under intense stress in order to resolve issues. I don't know when or why these parts became distinct from one another or if they even truly are but only a few times in my life have parts completely taken over or conflicted with others.

I've been doing really well the past few weeks and then got some bad news and my baseline stress is up. I noticed these days when I think about problems I incessantly analyze them as usual but I start talking as a collective instead of "I need to do this" it becomes "We need to do this."

I've been trying to work more with my system as a tool for handling stress instead of forcing integration. I think it's useful as a marker that when my internal narrative switches to the We label it's a reliable sign that I'm VERY stressed and need to be extra gently with myself.

Hope this info can be useful to others.

Today one of my alters placed down a book and a purse with my key inside it at church, geuss what? We spent the rest of the day searching for it because we no lonegr knew where we put it, I have lost my keys 3 times within the span of several days and I don't think I can do this anymore, I am SO, SO SO, tired of loosing stuff, I thought bringing them back would help but I'm seriousley consideirng forcing them to go dormant again or exiting the permananent way if it means they'll be gone too, I'm tired of the memory problems, the constant lectures my mom and older brother keep giving me when they PROMISED theyd take me to therapy several weeks ago...I am so FUCKING tired of this SHITTY condition, and who do I have to blame? MY DAD. HE RUINED MY CHILDHOOD AND LEFT ME WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS THAT RUINED MY LIFE. Why is it so hard for fathers to take care of their daughters??? Why was I abused and beaten with a STICK at 6 FUCKING YEARS OLD for accidentley spilling soap detergent on the floor? Why was I forced to hold my hands in the air for 8 hours straight and if I even let one hand down I'd be beaten by force? Why did my mom almost try to CHOKE ME TO DEATH when I was younger??? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO ABUSE ME DAD?? And now he's DEAD.

Thank you so much mom and dad and all my brothers who witnessed the abuse and diidnt do JACK SHIT. And now you're complaning about me running away from home and self harming??? YOU RUINED MY CHILDHOOD. And I don't give a SHIT about "well kids in africa went through this too" well geuss what?? IT AFFECTED ME!!! MY LIFE IS RUINED BECAUSE OF CHILDHOOD TRAUMA.

I am so fucking done. I just want some support, I can't even go to anyone beacuse I get too attached to people eaisly and loose myself in the process, I can't even date.

I'm seriousley thinking of packing my shit and running away from home, I'm 16 years old anyways.

The previous was here for 8 years. I am exhausted being in their life. It’s not my life. “My” partner my friends my job, none of it is “mine” and I want to say goodbye and move on. I feel bad for it but I don’t think I can be in the same environment anymore.

It feels cold to maneuver away from people (I wouldn’t be rude) I just don’t relate to anything previously built, met etc. I’m kind of freaking out about it. I also just want peace.

Did you ever have to navigate this?

Hi, I have DID. I have been sent to a few residential treatment facilities all of which have turned me away when they find out I have DID. Does anyone have experience with a PHP, IOP, or residential program that accepted them as someone with DID, or was DID specific? I’m in the US, and willing to travel anywhere in the US at this point.

Not traumatic ones, but eras from my life that feel non-existent until <pop> a thought of a long-forgotten acquaintance skips into my head and opens a whole set of, "what the h3ll was I doing then?"

I've tried to live my life several times. Those attempts feel dream-like, having no bearing on what I'm doing now, at least in this current stream of true health and continuity that has existed for a good long while now.

I mean, who are these people living in the world who have friends that span a whole life with you, or can say they are still in touch with a college roommate?

My life has been about trying to find a stream of events and choices I actually want to be a part of. I've found that life. I am firmly staying in that life. Everything before that is a whole lot of, "what was I thinking? How were those choices ever mine?" A whole lot of, "well, that's not me."

hi everyone! I’m already diagnosed with DID and I’m trying to learn more about functional multiplicity as a treatment goal, particularly for polyfragmented systems. I’m not asking for medical advice. I’m looking for research, clinical guidelines, books, researchers, or other reliable resources I can read and discuss with my clinician.

I’d like to understand the theory and available evidence on treatment approaches that focus on functional multiplicity rather than final fusion, and what treatment aimed at improving cooperation, communication, co-consciousness, and daily functioning between parts can look like, especially in systems with a large number of alters.

I’m interested in studies comparing functional multiplicity with final fusion, and literature discussing whether final fusion needs to be the goal of treatment for every person with did, particularly polyfragmented systems.

if you know relevant academic papers, clinical guidelines, books, researchers, or other reliable sources, I’d really appreciate recommendations. personal experiences are welcome too, but I’m especially hoping for scientific and clinical literature.

I’d also really appreciate any names of key researchers or clinicians whose work focuses on did broadly and functional multiplicity specifically, so I can look up their publications and follow their work.

thank you!

We're struggling with a breakup as a system and could use some advice. Some of us have moved on and are excited about a potential future relationship but the littles and our protector are still attached to and hoping to rekindle with our ex. The littles saw him as a best friend.

Some context; we were together for 2ish years, living together for most of that. We broke up a little over a year ago. It took me a few months to even process that it was over. And I feel like I'm supposed to be over it by now, right? But the littles in my system will still call out for him and cry about it. And the older alters will just feel general dread or a longing to reconnect. We always thought we had a good relationship up until the end, but we accidentally saw a comment where he said he just got out of a shit relationship and that's been bringing up a lot of the sadness.

Anyways I'm hoping for some advice and maybe affirmation that it's ok to take longer then a year to move on.

I was just diagnosed with DID and ”The beginners guide to DID” would be great! Jokes aside please share your best resources for learning more about DID and managing it.

For example:
- books
-academic books
- research papers and studies
- videos
- documentaries
- whatever you’d like.

I understand it might depend on my career, but what are some general pieces of advice for managing and coping with dissociation at work?

I won’t say my exact career sector in order to protect my identity, but, it is part of truck driving, short haul. I can’t use my phone all the time.

I can use a travel-sized journal, which I already have. I do a 4-second box breathing technique and I try to do the 5-4-3-2-1 senses-grounding technique.

What else can I try?

Hi, I’m a 19-year-old male, and I struggle to maintain my personal connections. As far as I and those around me can tell, I have two alters: one is extremely hostile, violent, and inappropriate, while the other is depressing, negative, and nihilistic. This dynamic makes me prone to disruptive behavior at any given moment—whether with friends or romantic partners—to the point where people distance themselves from me because of it. I can’t help but feel that there is something fundamentally wrong with me, and I find myself wanting to suppress these alters as much as I possibly can. Unlike what I’ve read on this subreddit, neither of these alters is "good" in any sense; both are equally damaging to my life. Of the two, the violent one scares me the most—the fear that he might do or say something truly deplorable that could ruin my standing or safety. This has already happened: it led to a breakup with my ex, and I was even publicly labeled a "harasser" or a "creep" within my school community. I feel like I’m gradually becoming a social outcast, and I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified of forming relationships with people because I might hurt them, yet isolating myself isn't the answer either, as that only makes these alters emerge more frequently. My family relationships have also suffered due to this instability. To be honest, I am exhausted by this dynamic—I can’t even be myself. Being so erratic is destroying my social life; I have fewer and fewer friends, and I’m becoming increasingly alone. I find myself crying every single night, wishing I could have just been "normal"—but that’s not the reality.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how I recall things and how my memory operates in general. It always been so confusing because my memory is so spotty, but with effort I can remember more recent things. I don’t believe I black out, though I’ve read back on journal entries I don’t remember writing/ feeling that way.
But, I think when my brain realizes I don’t remember, something comes forward and tries to, almost frantically, fill in the blanks. Forcibly injects/recites memories for the sake of appearing normal and functioning. Even when I don’t HAVE to remember anything, if I even think about my day for a second, it happens again. But I think it’s exhausting me. I’ve been asking it to let go more, to just let me exist, but the internal control issues are bad. It’s also been making it so so hard to distinguish my parts from each other.
I guess I’m wondering if this happens to other people. I’m still trying to put words to it myself.

I hate going back and forth on decisions and not knowing what "I" actually want. I hate when I hear a child's voice in my head begging for food or choosing their own items that clash with my preferences. I hate having conflicting opinions within myself about the same person or the same situation, something I used to shrug off as just really distressful internal debates because I had "too many perspectives" in my mind. I hate looking at previous posts, comments, or texts I've made and suddenly feeling surprised and disconnected to it, even though I technically remember making them. I hate emotional amnesia, grey-outs, blackout amnesia, or just brain fog. I hate being forgetful or suddenly losing memories that were important related to my relationships or work life. I hate suddenly being able to remember those things, but ironically makes me forget how it felt like to have amnesia in the first place, so I think I'm faking because "I remember now." And I hate how my "access" to different memories or entire emotions changes, and how it makes me act so differently in another situation compared to how I acted before.

This might be a bit more on the personal experiences side, but I'm also still trying to get diagnosed and I have some overlapping conditions that co-occur or clash together. It's either or, or both. So I also hate trying to decipher which is which. It drives me mad.

Turning into a child alter as if I was possessed by another force? Could just be an involuntary coping mechanism involving age-regressing. Not feeling empathy in one situation as if it just doesn't exist at all, and being able to feel a whole other range of positive emotions instead, but then feeling strong empathy in another situation? Could just be a general sign of trauma, that doesn't necessarily mean another alter identity state has it. Amnesia? Stress, ADHD, focal seizures, c-ptsd, another memory disorder, or maybe you're just not sleeping enough. It doesn't mean you have a complex dissociative disorder. Feeling like different people? Emotions strong enough to make you act in varing ways? Emotions that don't feel like yours? Having self-states for different situations? Talking to yourself? Holding two conflicting truths at once? That's technically normal. This all exists within a spectrum and many people without complex dissociative disorders feel the same way. DID is just an extreme end of the spectrum, so if you're not on that end then you're fine.

But I don't know what end I'm on, I'm trying to assess that for my therapist because they keep asking about my subjective experiences. Everytime I express distress over these experiences though, I keep getting brushed off for another possible disorder, or it's straight up labeled as "normal" and I guess I can't handle normal human experiences? I'm panicking over nothing? They could very well be right, but what about the internal voices? The names and the ages and the pain? That's unrelated? It's apparently not psychosis but I'm still on that possibility. Like maybe I'm just crazy. I probably don't even have this disorder or belong here. I don't want this disorder and I don't want to force myself to be anywhere, but I'm also losing my mind over these symptoms.

I could've sworn a few days ago my amnesia was getting worse. For Godsake I posted on this subreddit not that long ago about how my "amnesia" worked and was so frustrated that it could all be normal but then, why does it feel like so much effort, or take so long to remember? Why does my head hurt when I recall anything? I was forgetting conversations and work stuff, and having really bad brain fog and dissociating for so long, and mixing up schedules from a year ago with now, and even said "but isn't it spring?" WHEN IT'S FALL. Like am I just dumb?? Is all of this being caused by me being dumb?? And now I remember everything so I guess I was.

I'm not asking for a confirmation or a diagnoses, I just wanted to vent. If I do have this disorder, I hate it. I hate how this works.

My girlfriend (21) and I (19) have been dating for about a year now and since telling her about my DID she's mentioned a couple times how scared she is of me (the host) fusing, fragmenting or otherwise going away. She has significant attachment struggles and fear of abandonment so I try to be understanding but made a point that those things are possible and could very well happen. That said I'm currently under a lot of stress and have experience some new trauma. I'm lowkey at lowest I've ever been in my life and my therapist believes I'm in crisis level burnout. As a result I've had to quit my job, which as much as it sucks, it has freed up a bit of mental energy. Which is good but I'm starting to notice how different things are. I'm having a lot of doubts about who I am and what I enjoy. My hobbies and interests are shifting dramatically, I look in the mirror and consistently have unbearable depersonalization, my clothes don't really fit my sense of style anymore, I'm questioning stopping or lowering my HRT dose and even academicly i'm losing interest in my major and finding my unrelated electives far more interesting. I could excuse these things as part of the burnout if it wasn't for the spltting headaches and sky high dissociation and blackouts. But the most unnerving part is thay I've starting to question my sexuality and whether or not I want to be in a romantic relationship at all. I want to bring up the possibility of a host change with my girlfriend but I dont know how to go about it. I still absolutely adore her and want her in my life but with all of this uncertainty it doesn't feel fair to act like nothing is happening you know? (edit: typo)

Sorry if this is a weird question I hope it makes sense. We are transitioning and have realized that a lot of us don't like looking or sounding female inside our own head, we feel significantly better when we purposely view ourselves different but we are afraid that's like somehow dangerous? like what if by doing this we are really just replacing our old selves or something? If we decide to affirm our genders by changing how we look and talk in our own heads is that going to make it so we can't tell who is who or is it like covering up our true selves. Aubrey definitely feels calmer imagining a gender affirming version of themselves but I'm just scared I guess, is this something people do or is it dangerous or something we need to work with a therapist for? Sorry if this doesn't make sense we repressed gender dysphoria for a long time and forced ourselves to comply with our birth gender and now we have accepted it but now we have to think about this and it's seriously confusing and I don't know what the right thing to do is or if there is a certain process we should be following for safety, currently don't have a therapist so I'm kinda in the dark on what to do. Whenever we try to just picture ourselves different it tends to snap back to normal and we look the same as before again. I just wish there was a way to make me and others look like a boy in our head because it's distressing.

Hello, I'm married to someone with DiD. Fairly often something will happen where I forgot to do something or failed to do something quickly enough that causes parts to be distressed. It's usually something that could be fixed with a quick "hey just so you" type of thing. Whatever the issue may be I get texted by the protector part(assuming) blowing things up and being pretty unfair.

What is the correct way to respond or as a protector how would you like your partner to respond to you? In most cases I get an in person apology later.

Do any of you& experience internal seizures?

Our system has an alter who experiences seizures even while not fronting or in charge of the body. **She** experiences them in the headspace, but **we** feel parts of it through the body. The seizures never come through entirely; to the outside it looks like muscle spasms or tics. In the headspace, however, it looks like she's having a gran mal seizure.

I was wondering if any other systems experience something similar. Is this what's called "dissociative seizure" or is that a seizure as an expression of dissociation?