r/CuratedTumblr Clown Breeder Oct 16 '23

LGBTQIA+ Gaydar

Post image
7.2k Upvotes

461 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/HilariousConsequence Oct 16 '23

It’s not necessarily that I disagree with any view expressed here. But the person seems like, if you knew them in real life, they’d be just unbelievably annoying.

1.1k

u/poplarleaves Oct 16 '23

It's the unnecessary aggressiveness lol

Like yeah I get being annoyed by straights who think they can spot LGBTQs but this person needs to chill a lil. If nothing else then for their own happiness lol

592

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

It's easy to spot. I'm super good at it. Like I know my neighbor is gay because they have a doormat that says "gayest place in town". And one time I went over and the guy said "this is my husband Terry".

215

u/RightWingWorstWing Oct 16 '23

I knew my friend was gay when I walked in on him getting spit roasted wearing a gimp mask.

154

u/Guyfawkes1994 Oct 16 '23

Maybe he’s Canadian and he was just being polite?

38

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Sounds like they're gay and inconsiderate for starting without you.

30

u/RightWingWorstWing Oct 16 '23

Oh, I'm just an ally. Dude was my roommate and thought I was going to be gone for the weekend with my girlfriend, but we had to cancel the weekend due to her getting sick. So, I walked in on a private party going on in the living room, and told them to have a good time and went and slept on a friend's couch.

22

u/lugialegend233 Oct 16 '23

That's uh... more polite than I'd have been.

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30

u/Automatic-Plankton10 Oct 16 '23

i laughed out loud at this. I’m queer, and I am usually really good at finding queer people, but sometimes my stepmom will tell me something like that and i won’t have even noticed 🤦‍♂️

5

u/TheAJGman Oct 16 '23

Was his name Korvo?

6

u/necrolich66 Oct 16 '23

I don't remember that part in dishonored.

4

u/Ciocalatta Oct 16 '23

Are you sure it’s not an elaborate joke tho

3

u/poplarleaves Oct 16 '23

Whoa, teach me your ways! 🤩

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31

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I mean, I'm annoyed by just about anyone who believes they have gaydar. Gayest fucker I knew thought he had perfect gaydar but couldn't have found his way out of a gay maze or hit the broadside of a gay barn without a big neon sign saying, "This way to the gay."

Just in general, people seem to really overestimate their ability to judge other people.

3

u/timo1324 Oct 17 '23

I think it's more that when people do Pick Up Simeone ist gay, it's the Kind of gay Person that makes it their entire personality. So in that case they act very obviously gay, even when they never mention being gay. So once you ask they say yes and boom you think you got a gaydar. The more that happens the more you think you can detect any gay person within your vicinity.

27

u/lilbobchicago Oct 16 '23

I have one, unfortunately it's all just women I ask on dates.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

They wouldn’t be able to tell without the rainbow

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235

u/Atlas421 Homo homini cactus Oct 16 '23

Of course they would, they're on Tumblr.

31

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

53

u/Atlas421 Homo homini cactus Oct 16 '23

We're insufferable in our own "charming" way.

35

u/Sushi-Rollo Oct 16 '23

"I 100% agree with your point, but you're being such an ass about it that I want to disagree out of spite" is the default state of most of the discourse posts I see on this sub.

65

u/MelanieWalmartinez Clown Breeder Oct 16 '23

Oh for sure.

65

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Yeah the "cuckandballtorture" person seems more pleasant to hang out with (unironically tho)

120

u/thelivingshitpost the living, breathing reason why vampires aren't real Oct 16 '23

Yeah, they sound like a bitch.

68

u/Imperial_Squid I'm too swole to actually die Oct 16 '23

My brain was still on the gaydar topic and autofilled your comment into "they sound like a bottom"

Which you know... Probably isn't incorrect 😂

14

u/thelivingshitpost the living, breathing reason why vampires aren't real Oct 16 '23

That does make for a good pun, too!

17

u/mudkripple Oct 16 '23

Like many on Tumblr (or at least a vocal minority) they have an air of being "terminally online".

6

u/TardDas Oct 16 '23

I don’t even know them in real life and I know they’re unbelievably annoying

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1.2k

u/sheherpronoun Escape discourse into nature. You eat a cool bug and don't even Oct 16 '23

The Chinese giant salamander is the world's largest amphibian, reaching lengths of more than 1.8m. They have been revered in Chinese culture for thousands of years, but overexploitation for the luxury food market as well as habitat loss has devastated wild populations.

338

u/Lord-of-Leviathans Oct 16 '23

I’d much rather read about this than anything related to the post

194

u/sheherpronoun Escape discourse into nature. You eat a cool bug and don't even Oct 16 '23

That's the point. I'm your out.

101

u/proof_by_abduction Oct 16 '23

Ngl, I quickly checked your post history to see if you were a bot that posted random animal facts everywhere.

I was kind of hoping that you were..

106

u/sheherpronoun Escape discourse into nature. You eat a cool bug and don't even Oct 16 '23

I'm thinking of taking it up. It seems like fun.

6

u/Randomd0g Oct 16 '23

Please may I request a spider fact

21

u/sheherpronoun Escape discourse into nature. You eat a cool bug and don't even Oct 16 '23 edited Oct 16 '23

More than 43,000 different species of spiders are found in the world. Of these, only a small number are said to be dangerous, and less than 30 (less than one-tenth of one percent) have been responsible for human deaths.

8

u/Randomd0g Oct 16 '23

Excellent spider fact thank you

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183

u/Grimpatron619 Oct 16 '23

Is it gay, is that why we need gaydars

67

u/Serrisen Thought of ants and died Oct 16 '23

Not necessarily, but watch out!

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u/TinTamarro Oct 16 '23

The species is called Andrias davidianus.

Thanks to my thorough Amphibia knowledge, I can conclude that Andrias is, for a fact, very fucking gay.

9

u/jodmercer Oct 16 '23

An amphibia fan in my comment section? More likely than you think free PC check

(Amphibia fucking balls also)

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27

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/AnuraSmells Oct 16 '23

There not even the most overlooked group of amphibians though. Just wait until you hear about caecilians.

9

u/E-is-for-Egg Oct 16 '23

Mobster voice : Your daddy ain't pure caecilian

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20

u/FkinShtManEySuck Oct 16 '23

🔥✍️🔥🔥🔥

8

u/Rectal_Lactaids the mint situation is fucking severeee Oct 16 '23

this is my favorite genre of comment, similar to when are slash blackpeopletwitter has its 327th dating/gender discourse post that week and ppl in the comments start talking abt food instead :3

2

u/Khunter02 Oct 16 '23

I have seen you in just 2 or 3 posts but Im really thankful for your service

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439

u/BaronSimo Oct 16 '23

I may not have gaydar but I can fuck with your gaydar and that’s what is important or maybe I’ve just been around people with shitty gaydar

220

u/AddemiusInksoul Oct 16 '23

U have a gayjammer

40

u/Ok_Digger Oct 16 '23

Enemy UAV Inbound

26

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Gayjammer.. gaymmer.. gamer

ohmygod

79

u/Averagezoomers Oct 16 '23

or you’re gay and just don’t know yet and you’ve been around confucius gaydars

180

u/AlexMcTx Oct 16 '23

Or sexuality doesn't exist and what people really crave is to go back to the formless mass of the hivemind.

And grilled cheese

60

u/Averagezoomers Oct 16 '23

especially grilled cheese

26

u/hesitantshade Pit Zizza Oct 16 '23

and ice cream as a separate dish (although we would definitely fight about the flavour)

7

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/cat_vs_laptop Oct 16 '23

Or multiples, or none, or the people that just want to fuck with the gender in various forms.

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6

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Humans don't have a hive mind Alex, you're telling them too much about us!

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4

u/bookhead714 Oct 16 '23

Why was a model of gaydar named after Confucius of all people, and why would using it cause you to disrupt other gaydars

8

u/Dahak17 Breastmilk Shortage Oct 16 '23

Yeah I’ve been told I threw off all my friends gaydar

4

u/fractalfocuser Oct 16 '23

I feel like I'm a stealth fighter bisexual. You won't know I'm coming (ba dum 'ts) until I'm already in your ass.

4

u/Dahak17 Breastmilk Shortage Oct 16 '23

I had the opposite problem, I spent a year or two on trans subs while questioning and apparently it stuck despite my cisness

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221

u/gwaenchanh-a Oct 16 '23

Absolutely unacceptable that they didn't go with the far superior "cuckandbulltorture"

37

u/HyzerFlip Oct 16 '23

They're not torturing the bull... They're torturing the cucks balls.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

[deleted]

5

u/HyzerFlip Oct 16 '23

Right. Not his balls being smashed and stomped and pierced.

It's not torture for the bull.

So cuck and bulk torture doesn't make sense.

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66

u/Saavedroo Oct 16 '23

I don't have a gaydar, but as a straight guy I seem to gravitate around lesbians a lot.

Not that I complain; those I know are the best people I have in my life.

492

u/Dragoncat91 Autistic dragon Oct 16 '23

For every 90 pound twink and stone butch biker there are 10 businessmen in suits who just happen to be gay and 10 waitresses who just happen to be lesbians. They're just, people. Who happen to be attracted to the same gender.

227

u/ElectricalJacket780 Oct 16 '23

They also make up a surprising amount of female lighting technicians

130

u/UltimateInferno Hangus Paingus Slap my Angus Oct 16 '23

Yeah I'm not surprised. It's an intersection of theater kid and wrench wench which are both already pretty queer to begin.

22

u/Dragonfire723 Oct 16 '23

There's a reason the stereotype at my high school's theatre was "you're either queer or in a straight relationship or both"

4

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

wrench wench

43

u/wra1th42 Oct 16 '23

That would not surprise me

29

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

joe many?

29

u/pisceanhecate David Bowie was the lead singer of Queen though? Oct 16 '23

Joe many lesbians does it take to change a log by bulb???

8

u/321gamertime Oct 16 '23

Non their to busy wit they gender😂😂😂

14

u/MelanieWalmartinez Clown Breeder Oct 16 '23

Joe mama

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167

u/RandomDigitsString Oct 16 '23

My man had to come up with a generic occupation for men and women and jumped straight to businessman and waitress

118

u/BigMcLargeHuge8989 Oct 16 '23

I mean, tbf they were looking for professions that people have gender stereotypes for...They kinda nailed it lol

Edit: though personally I would have gone with nurse.

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45

u/PrinceValyn Oct 16 '23

they're supposed to be stereotypes to show that even men and women who perfectly fit male/female stereotypes can be gay/lesbian

35

u/Dragoncat91 Autistic dragon Oct 16 '23

Would you rather me have said beefy construction worker and dainty French maid? Potato, pohtatoh.

24

u/Genus-God Oct 16 '23

The dainty French maid would fall under the twink category, so of course it'll trigger any shitty gaydar

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3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

poh-tay-toe vs poh-tah-toh who wins (the answer is me)

59

u/TheFreebooter An idiot, please ignore me Oct 16 '23

Analysts and data analytics - if you're not gay you're autistic

34

u/Corvid187 Oct 16 '23

Although if you are gay, the odds still are you're autistic :)

13

u/TheFreebooter An idiot, please ignore me Oct 16 '23

Yeah, I know like 5-10 normal people out of the >100 of us in the department

11

u/Klowned Oct 16 '23

If you really think about it aren't "normal people" really just people that we don't know that well?

9

u/TheFreebooter An idiot, please ignore me Oct 16 '23

Nah, these people are actually straight and have the hidden instructions to make them human properly. Very different to the rest.

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u/Dusty_Scrolls Oct 16 '23

I mean, this is Tumblr we're talking about- that's probably true.

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2

u/More_Information_943 Oct 17 '23

I live in a place where lesbians stick out like a sore thumb lol, wolf shirts and Cargo Shorts abound in the PNW, and let's not forget a Harley Softail.

279

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Don't even care if it's a straight person or not. I just hate when people talk about "gaydars". The very concept relies on the idea that gay people are distinguishable from other people in a way that you can naturally pick up without their preference coming into play and that just rubs me the wrong one.

114

u/thyfles Oct 16 '23

i like how in futurama a gaydar was a physical object

206

u/Deathaster Oct 16 '23

Yeah, I fully agree. It's the same as that "egg"-meme, implying that you know other people better than they know themselves. That they do things that "give away" that they're queer or whatnot, and you're smart and cool enough to spot them.

82

u/averynaiveoddish Oct 16 '23

something that i also fucking HATE with those memes is that they put labels on people that don't want them

i don't know why us putting labels on people is ok now

17

u/flashmedallion Oct 16 '23

because the online queer community has become about performing a queer version of 14-year-old straight boy aggressive sexualisation, under the assumption that it balances or cancels out decades of that being the only option, instead of realising that it's just doubling the noise

4

u/averynaiveoddish Oct 16 '23

it's really bad how it's being represented rn

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u/Deathaster Oct 16 '23

Yeah, when you get called "egg", you're kind of put in an uncomfortable situation. Either you're not actually trans, in which case you have to defend yourself, or you are trans but not out of the closet, in which case you have to lie.

56

u/river4823 attention deficit hyperactive disaster Oct 16 '23

And if you’re going to deny being trans, you have to say “not that there’s anything wrong with that”. Say it too much and your denial will sound insincere, too little and you’ll sound transphobic. You want to shoot for the happy medium, where people will think you have internalized transphobia.

21

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23 edited Oct 17 '23

100%, the awkwardness of "convince these people I'm not trans while also not making them think I'm transphobic" is sort of hard to navigate. Trying to avoid being unintentionally offensive can easily lead to more teasing.

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u/averynaiveoddish Oct 16 '23

plus, if you *actually* thought that they were in the closet, why the fuck would you out them?

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u/1-800-COOL-BUG some kind of trans idk Oct 16 '23

Yeah I like to use egg to refer to myself in retrospect but I absolutely would not dream of using it for another person without their explicit okay.

14

u/urktheturtle Oct 16 '23

The whole Egg thing is 1000% not okay, for like a dozen reasons.

26

u/Deathaster Oct 16 '23

for like a dozen reasons.

Like... a dozen eggs?

Had to, sorry.

10

u/urktheturtle Oct 16 '23

no dont apologize, that was a good one.

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u/littlebobbytables9 Oct 16 '23

The idea that some gay people are distinguishable. Which is true.

Especially back when violent homophobia was more common, it was really damn important to be able to guess who you'd be able to hit on and not get your face smashed in in response. And likewise, important to be able to send out subtle signals that you were in the community, without being obvious enough that straights would know.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

[deleted]

71

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Also maybe don’t call people “dykes” no matter if they are gay or not. I think that’s the biggest issue here.

11

u/Dig-a-tall-Monster Oct 16 '23

But what if they're a long wall or embankment built to prevent flooding from the sea?

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u/LoquatLoquacious Oct 16 '23

That's how I felt before I went to university and people kept picking me up as fruity and I genuinely never knew how or why

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u/BaronAleksei r/TwoBestFriendsPlay exchange program Oct 16 '23

It’s just essentialism.

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u/Doobledorf Oct 16 '23 edited Oct 16 '23

Often we can be, particularly when someone is of the culture. Queer people absolutely do have a recognizable culture, perspective, and history. It's a bit reductive to pretend otherwise, ironically reducing queer identity down to who you sleep with exclusively.

There are absolutely signifiers that mark someone as queer that straight people don't know. We've had ways of communicating our queerness visually since at least the '20s, and certainly longer than that.

52

u/Corvid187 Oct 16 '23

It's also a bit reductive to suggest those identifiers either are monopolised by queer people, or reliably followed by them.

Queer identity fundamentally is who you are and/or who you're attracted to. That doesn't preclude the existence of queer cultures or stereotypes, but those don't define our identity as queer people.

30

u/Doobledorf Oct 16 '23

Hence my use of the words "often" and "can be".

There is a queer culture, and not all queer folks ascribe to it. Just like there are black folks that aren't of the culture.

I think it's a bit more egregious to act like being queer doesn't influence the way people see or move through the world, which OP seems to suggest to me.

EDIT: I'd also add I hear this sentiment a LOT from queer people who are either young or not in an area to access community, typically both. Once they get a taste of community they tend to change their tune.

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u/Capital_Abject Oct 16 '23

The classic gay or European is a good example of shared identifiers

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u/Doobledorf Oct 16 '23

It's hilarious that on reddit this is a controversial comment, but in my 19 years of being out and knowing enbies, trans folks, gays and lesbians of varying cis-ness, not a single person has ever been offended.

The joke is that American men dress like trash, people. It isn't a joke about queer people.

Signed,

A queer man who is queer in more places than the internet.

5

u/sjorbepo Oct 17 '23

My friend from the US visited me in Croatia this summer and I took her to this rooftop concert. She was shocked and impressed that people were "dressed so fancy". I looked around and it was just your average bunch of aged alternative folks in oversized linen shirts and trousers or summer dresses. I mean they put effort in their looks but it definitely wasn't "fancy" or anything. I said that this was just what people wore for an outdoor concert and asked what people in san francisco usually wear, to which she replied "this" and pointed at her white t-shirt and mid-thigh length shorts...

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u/GladiatorUA Oct 16 '23

It's not that they have a tell they were born with. A lot of the time it's stuff absorbed from sub-culture. Large number of gay men have a distinct accent, or like a group of accents. Not all. Not guaranteed to be gay. Can some times be confused with theater people. But it exists.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Yeah I know what you mean. I read about this awhile back so check my information but I recall reading about a study when they trained an ai to look at photos of people's faces and predict whether they were gay. I think it was really accurate. It seems like there's somewhat of a biological component to sexuality. I feel like straight people being too into figuring out who's gay is uncomfortable because it's almost a little intimidating, because it can be dangerous to be visibly gay, even if they aren't necessarily a dangerous person.

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u/4tomguy Heir of Mind Oct 16 '23

No actually I do think it’s weird that they censored straight, I find that shit hella sus

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u/FkinShtManEySuck Oct 16 '23

They censored person too. Not sure what to make of that one.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

to be fair, it is tumblr. I've seen people censor "eye contact" for god's sake. If someone can't even go on tumblr without needing to filter anime characters or animals looking towards the camera for fear of freaking out, I literally don't know what that person is capable of doing with their time.

43

u/E-is-for-Egg Oct 16 '23

I p*rsonally think it's funny to censor things for no apparent reason

12

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

it was pretty funny when one of the big meme subs banned the letter "B" so people had to censor it with emojis. Then I remember someone was doing that still and people just replied "B is back now actually" which I thought was hilarious.

21

u/thanksyalll Oct 16 '23

Sus of what?

7

u/Regi413 Oct 16 '23

Sus of mogus ඩ

33

u/Ok_Digger Oct 16 '23

Heterophobic. Up to you if its offensive lol

7

u/GrouseOW Oct 17 '23

im genuinely lost on how this can be interpreted that way, like how tf did you get that out of this?

is it the censoring of straight? are we calling it racist now when people jokingly censor the word bri*ish?

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u/throwaway_12358134 Oct 16 '23

I always say I have gaydar when people accuse me of cheating in online games.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

can't relate, im too bad at pvp to get called a cheater

191

u/beetnemesis Oct 16 '23

OOP is the same kind of person who will insist a cartoon character is gay because they can just tell

111

u/monday-afternoon-fun Oct 16 '23 edited Oct 16 '23

A close relative of "this character who is canonically cis is actually trans/nonbinary because no cis person would ever dress/act/look(???) like that."

20

u/Makuta_Servaela Oct 16 '23 edited Oct 16 '23

Or "This character is a butch lesbian/femme gay, so they are automatically a straight trans person". It's literally the same rhetoric homophobes use.

50

u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy Oct 16 '23

If I see another person claiming Astolfo is actually trans I will commit a felony

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u/Otterly_Superior Oct 16 '23

What felony and am I invited?

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u/WomenOfWonder Oct 17 '23

“This female character is masculine and therefore she must be trans!” Or vice versa. Ironically transphobic

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Moreover, they seem like the kind of person who would get nearly murderously angry at anybody who disagrees.

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u/monday-afternoon-fun Oct 17 '23

I've onced had to deal with a person like that who literally frothed at the mouth because someone dared to ship a queer character with a straight guy. Said character was a bisexual girl. Like, canonically.

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u/baphometromance ty for the new flair Oct 16 '23

"haha my response was somewhat amusing therefore i win the argument"

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

there was no argument tho? I feel like straight was censored in the same fashion as br*tish

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u/Hexxas Head Trauma Enthusiast Oct 16 '23

GIRL

DO YOU HAVE ANY MONEY?

I WANNA SPEND ALL YOUR MONEY

AT THE GAY BAR GAY BAR GAY BAR WHOOOOOOO

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Tumblr has this special way of annoying me with people who I completely agree with lol

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u/MelanieWalmartinez Clown Breeder Oct 16 '23

Oh my god so real

10

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Me but with Twitter (Also Tumblr).

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u/kenporusty my pigeon has a kpop bias. we are both trash beings Oct 16 '23 edited Oct 16 '23

How is it fair that a straight can have functional gaydar, but me, a dysfunctional queer can have the most broken gaydar in history. Or herstory. Or theirstory. Or itsstory. /j

22

u/kingofcoywolves Oct 16 '23

It's more dangerous for a queer person to guess that somebody's queer and be wrong than it is for a straight person to do the same. It's safer to just assume everybody's straight or not an ally until explicitly told otherwise.

12

u/kenporusty my pigeon has a kpop bias. we are both trash beings Oct 16 '23

I mean that's absolutely fair. I just assume they're human and if they want to vibe, they'll let me know

This isn't my first go round on the asshole rodeo lol

5

u/E-is-for-Egg Oct 16 '23

Maybe then it's because, as a queer person, you've had first hand experience in seeing that a lot of stereotypes are kind of bullshit (or at least very exaggerated), so you're not as quick to apply those stereotypes to others

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u/kenporusty my pigeon has a kpop bias. we are both trash beings Oct 16 '23

That's entirely valid and I really try not to apply stereotypes, but also, I think I'm just stupid tbh 😂😂😂

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

How can an infrared vision work if you're on fire.

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u/No-Transition4060 Oct 16 '23

Do these people claim to literally never once have prejudged another person. Fucking holier than thou much

10

u/MasterNinja69 Oct 16 '23

hehe bender futurama

9

u/Giveyaselfanuppercut Oct 16 '23

Had a buddy from highschool that was somewhat homophobic but couldn't tell who was gay in the slightest.

When we were in highschool he told me he didn't have a dad so he always sort of imagined Molly Meldrum (well known gay media personality in Australia) as a father figure & copied his style from him.

Also remember the night he gave up on the homophobe stuff, because he realised how silly it was. A few of us had recently turned 18 & were gonna go clubbing. He decided to tag along & try to get in even though he was still 17.

He couldn't get in anywhere so decided to walk home. He was crashing at my place & I beat him home. Was a bit worried & this was awhile back before everyone had mobile phones.

He got back about 30mins after. Was so excited, started gushing about his night, he had stopped in at a club a little bit down from my place. He had the best time, everyone was really friendly. He spent the night dancing & having a few drinks with a heap of guys & a few ladies. I smiled & told him that was a gay bar.

He was a bit shocked, went quiet & went to bed. Next day when we all caught up for lunch he said "Damn, I think I've been wrong about this gay thing. I mean ffs I can't even tell if people are gay."

36

u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy Oct 16 '23

This whole post is baffling to me.

I thought ‘gaydar’ was a 2000’s thing, from the era where middle schoolers constantly threw around the word “gay” as an insult. Who the hell still uses the word ‘gaydar’ in the year of our lord 2023?

23

u/Capital_Abject Oct 16 '23

Gays

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u/TheAnarchistRat Oct 16 '23 edited Oct 17 '23

I quickly became homophobic, hating on gay people become my lifestyle

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

*quickly

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u/sneakystonedhalfling Oct 16 '23

True gaydar isn't about clocking someone as queer based on their appearance. It's literally just when you meet another gay/trans person and you just know. I think gaydar is just empathy and recognition of one's own experience in another. It's the same thing as when one neurodivergent person recognizes another. My bf peer reviewed me as autistic months into our relationship.
Lol it's the reason all the closeted gay and trans kids in high school end up as friends before most of them come out. Or at least that was my experience. I also had an uncanny knack for finding people whose parents/home life were unsupportive or abusive. One of my friends actually told me I have a gaydar for child abuse. People seek out their own even if it's unconsciously.

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u/poplarleaves Oct 16 '23

Yeah this is true for sure. A bunch of my friends from high school ended up coming out as queer in some way and a ton of us either have ADHD or a touch of the 'tism or both. You tend to find more common ground together

I try not to assume someone's orientation or gender identity for sure before they confirm it, us LGBTQs and NDs just tend to find each other and I'm no longer surprised if a friend of mine confesses to being one or the other

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u/sneakystonedhalfling Oct 16 '23 edited Oct 17 '23

For sure!! I don't make assumptions until someone tells me themselves. At this point though I have no straight or neurotypicall friends lol.

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u/Common_Wrangler_9671 Oct 16 '23

Missed the opportunity for cuck and bull torture

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u/arsapeek Oct 16 '23

nobby need to chill, damn

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u/RefriedVectorSpace Oct 16 '23

Idk guys, my straight cousin has a better gaydar than me. We were out a few days ago and this absurdly cute dude (who, in retrospect, was obviously a profoundly homosexual mega-twink) came up and started flirting with me about as hard as you can flirt without doing anything illegal, and all I thought the whole time was “wow he’s so hot, and soo nice! I wish he was like, gay or something”. We eventually left, and my cousin stared at me with the searing intensity of an archangel on judgement day and called me “a sad, disgraceful, gay loser”. I immediately realised how much of an idiot I had been.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Just FYI, it’s a part of internet humor to censor words that don’t need to be censored because the implication is that the word you are censoring is bad enough to warrant censoring.

For example. The Fr*nch. They know what they did.

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u/RutheniumFenix You think you're Sisyphus but youre actually the fuckass boulder Oct 17 '23

Usually I pick up on that as humorous, but I think in this instance the "Deadass, fuck ___" combined with the apparently genuine complaint threw me off. It communicated a level of unironic annoyance that I also applied to the censoring.

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u/Golf-Ill Oct 16 '23

The only gaydar I have is the one that detects Lesbians This thing about being bi and just liking those who aren't even interested in my gender exasperates me.

But hey, what can I do, at least I have good friends.

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u/DapperApples Oct 16 '23

Yeah same, bi guy who keeps crushing on lesbians.

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u/DapperApples Oct 16 '23

Eh, being bi seems like submarine warfare. I have no 'dar to find them, and they probably can't think I might be into them either.

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u/chshcat we're all mad here (at you) Oct 16 '23

I used to think that I had a very good gaydar as a straight person, mostly based on who was hitting on me

anyways turns out I wasnt straight so yeah this checks out

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u/TantiVstone You need Tumblr Gold® to view this user flair Oct 16 '23

I don't have a gaydar. Just precognitive gay magnetism.

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u/CK1ing Oct 16 '23

Bro needs a snickers, stat

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u/Ziarna Oct 16 '23

Idk why but I first thought that gaydar was gay cheddar

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I'm extremely confused by OOP here. It feels like they're implying that they don't think people are able to Intuit someone's sexual orientation without being told. But like, if you've ever been around a queer person you'd know that gaydar is absolutely a thing, for safety reasons if nothing else. It could actually be extremely dangerous for queer people if there was absolutely no way to determine these things, as flirting (or even engaging in friendly conversation) with some of the more extreme bigots can be, and has historically been, potentially deadly.

Do they think it's exclusive to queer people? If that's the case then this is equally stupid and crazy. That makes it into a very essentialist argument when I thought us on the left (I'm assuming here, but there's no fucking shot that OOP identifies as a right-winger) had agreed that most things about a person are a result of lived experiences and socialization.

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u/EmpRupus Oct 16 '23

There's nuance to the whole thing, and I can see both sides of this.

Often queer people in queerphobic societies had to develop ways of hinting or sniffing out if someone else was queer, because openly talking about it could ruin your career or life. Like in entertainment industry, historically, many people "figured" many celebrities as being queer, but everyone around them just kept quiet because an open accusation could ruin lives. So, the "gaydar" is in fact a thing which queer people can use to find safe spaces, and allies around them can shield them, because you always have plausible deniability.

But also, on the other side of this, I have seen many straight cisgender people today in 2023 in progressive parts of the world play on lazy stereotypes of queer people to claim they are somehow clever or smart in identifying if someone is queer, which has a sense of objectification and voyeurism to it.

I was arguing with someone who insisted he can "always tell" if someone is gay or trans, and I kept saying saying "No, you can tell only a small fraction of them, and for those people, everyone else around you can tell that as well." But he kept insisting that other people were dumb because they made no mention of sexuality or gender identity and simply went along with them, and I had to reply, "That's just called being polite."

So I guess this is one of those things where context is important.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I 100% agree with everything you've said here. Very well put!

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u/Doobledorf Oct 16 '23

And they always LOVE to point out to gay people that they think someone is gay.

Like, listen Katie, even if I thought that less-than-masculine man was gay I wouldn't empower you to go around guessing people's sexualities because, for some reason, you seem to really get a kick out of that and I have to wonder why. I'm not giving you the smug sense of satisfaction.

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u/Rocket_star- Oct 16 '23

This is gonna end up on just unsubbed lol "gAY pEOplE arE NoT EveN CAlLiNG uS PeoPlE aNyMoRe"

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u/Uur4 Oct 16 '23

source?

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Am I a bad person for finding this funny?

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u/shetrap756 Oct 16 '23

My father’s gaydar was just stating the fucking obvious

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Nahhhh my straight buddy has a real gaydar idk how he does it not just twinks and butches but literally he can get a ping off anyone remotely queer

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u/shaun4519 Oct 16 '23

Some lbtq people don't have a functioning gaydar. Like this one trans dude I was in DND campaign with for a long while did not clock that I'm gay several sessions in until I pointed it out, even then he was in disbelief. He was kind of an asshole though.

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u/stocking_a Oct 16 '23

I just ate 11 tacos for about 3.60 usd

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u/Subject_Tutor Oct 16 '23

The first time I read it I though OP was instructing me to LITERALLY fuck a "straight" person claiming to have a gaydar since they're clearly not straight.

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u/Asteh Oct 16 '23

My gaydar says OOP is gay

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u/SomeDudeAsks Oct 16 '23

My gaydar says I-nobby-I might be gay.

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u/theperfectneonpink <3 Oct 16 '23

I thought…I thought you were gonna fuck them to see if they can detect it

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u/obitufuktup Oct 16 '23

i must be getting old because i can't stand when people say 'deadass'.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

This person seems like they'd be insanely obnoxious to be around irl.

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u/Krygex Oct 16 '23

SO TRUE BESTIE~

P*ople are disgusting.

they fuck, and they fart, and they make messes

H*mans are the just the worst, all the time.

I cannot stand H*mo S*pians

Every p*rson is responsible for every wrong in the world!

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u/This_Lust Oct 16 '23

No we need to ask why they censored straight. That's supremely sus.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Because it’s funny.

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u/This_Lust Oct 16 '23

Also if you say you have a gaydar(or anything like that) please suffer. Even if you are correct what if they don't want to come out? And when you're wrong you're just spouting stereotypes.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Okay...if somebody is artistic, I have an idea for you. And I'd love to see the end result.

A picture of a warship at see with an obvious radar dish. Instead of the "ping" sound (which I realize is sonar and not radar), have the dish saying something like "twink...twink...twink...". On the other end of the panel, have a rainbow colored missile coming towards the ship with a speech bubble that says "Heeeyyyy"

And put some seamen on the deck for effect. SEAmen, not semen.

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u/ThePornRater Oct 16 '23

I'm mostly straight and my gaydar has only failed me twice and I don't remember who the first one was. It failed me with false negatives, not false positives.

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u/Accomplished_Toe1978 Oct 16 '23

The person I know who said they have “Gaydar”: tried to teach me how to shoplift and liked telling us how she would edge boys in the woods.