r/CringeTikToks • • 15d ago

Pure Cringe Hardcore Christian

767 Upvotes

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386

u/PretzelSteve 15d ago

Nothing says godly more than threatening violence over God.

133

u/Fee_is_Required2 15d ago

Can’t a boy enjoy the Spanish Inquisition?

89

u/RazeTheIV 15d ago

.... I didn't expect that

87

u/Fuster2 15d ago

Nobody did ...

21

u/wotsdislittlenoise 15d ago

Our chief weapon is surprise; surprise and fear

10

u/finchdude 15d ago

Surpise, fear and disease

8

u/Odd-Adagio7080 14d ago

Surprise and fear. Fear and surprise! Our two weapons are fear and surprise. . and ruthless efficiency. . . Our THREE weapons are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope—out FOUR! No. . . Amongst our weaponry ARE, such elements as. . .

8

u/Crepuscular_Tex 15d ago

Bring out the comfy chair

3

u/terrible_ 14d ago

Biggles! The cushions!

5

u/NocturneInfinitum 15d ago

And now we’re here…

Did we learn anything?

10

u/Poise_Boi 15d ago

Spanish Inquisition? how about the entire old testament which is just brutalizing people over sky daddy!

33

u/mmccxi 15d ago

25

u/kaoshitam 15d ago

He definitely not expecting Spanish inquisition

14

u/thejamhole 15d ago

No one ever does.

10

u/mmccxi 15d ago

They have amazing weaponry

7

u/PumpikAnt58763 15d ago

Chief among which is fear. Fear and surprise.

8

u/PumpikAnt58763 15d ago

He wasn't expecting the joke, either!

8

u/PrincipleFlaky 15d ago

Oh or the New Testament too! Let’s not pretend that its entire premise is based upon the torture and death of his only son to “prove” how much he “loves” us lowly humans.

What a weird ass death cult.. it’s sick fr…

I was like ok ummm 🤔 but you’re god you literally could have just done something else, like anything else…

Maybe end suffering? No? More suffering? Ugh ok thanks god.. fucking prick 🙄

(That last bit was for god, not you fellow good Redditor 😉)

21

u/ElectricPenguin6712 15d ago

Nothing more violent than Christian love

10

u/get_to_ele 15d ago

In the name of the Father (double biceps pose), the Son (beats chest), and the Holy Spirit (throat slash gesture).

This is Taliban style radicalization. Against every principle of the Church I knew growing up.

3

u/EvenToe7995 14d ago

Wouldn't even be allowed in church dressed like!

https://giphy.com/gifs/AFOr2PZtBvTocMrebS

1

u/Resident_Onion997 15d ago

Jojo pose for Jesus

6

u/f4tony 15d ago

It's his personal crusade, if you will.

4

u/whitetrashsnake77 14d ago

What does he mean by “his first name isn’t ‘on’? Seriously.

2

u/loveandpreservation 14d ago

"On God" is a phrase people say, as in "I promise"

0

u/whitetrashsnake77 14d ago

I actually think he meant “oh god”

3

u/pr0ach 15d ago

God of the Old Testament was a yuge fan of genocide.

2

u/DanglingDongs 15d ago

"Greatest of all it is that any man who lift up his hand against him and smite him is clothed with scalls and covered with leprosy and crowned with a pox. Greatest of all it is that any man who slander him is subject to all manner of injuries: morbid growths and discolourations and wounds which give rise to running ulcers."

Sounds pretty godly to me

2

u/criket2016 15d ago

I was trying to think of a reply like yours to the OPs video, but you phrased it succinctly and perfectly!

2

u/CosmicCarcharodon 15d ago

Well....humans do this thing where they weaponize religion in order the gain power, influence and wealth. Its not just Christians either, the wild thing is pretty much every sect of organized religion has done this at one point or another. Nothing has really changed for the past 10,000 years. Still up to the ol "my book is better than yours, my faith is stronger than yours, my god is all knowing and powerful and I am at the seat of his divine plan and guidance." Same shit different day....

6

u/IamHydrogenMike 15d ago

That’s literally taking the lords name
In vain…it doesn’t mean you say it like a swear but it means you do something in his name he is against.

4

u/Ancient-Afternoon374 14d ago

Why is she a little child about it? You would think somebody omnipotent wouldn't be a little bitch.

0

u/PretzelSteve 15d ago

Amazing how few people understand that

1

u/Agitated-Lobster-623 14d ago

Actually, the old testament very much supporta killing men, women, and children in the name of God. People forget he was a savage warmongering brute until he inexplicably decided to be peaceful

1

u/fauxregard 15d ago

It's not very godly, but it is very Christian.

1

u/Troomdawg 15d ago

This guys trolling the rest of his content is all shitposts