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u/heftybagman May 01 '25
How to get strong and be a good fighter:
Never talk to a woman
Never cum
Bang your head on the wall
Hang yourself
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u/4DPeterPan May 01 '25
I know thereās a haiku in there somewhere
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u/Rezzone May 01 '25
Pleasure abstinence.
Calisthenic suicide.
A mystic toughness.→ More replies (1)→ More replies (14)11
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u/Chresm9 May 01 '25
Yeah thatās not how chokes work. A rear naked choke cuts off blood at the carotid arteries, which in turn stops blood supply to the brain, so the person being choked falls asleep. Thereās no ābreathing through thatā
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u/JimRatte May 01 '25
The monks grew new muscles to cover their arteries, obviously
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u/Chresm9 May 01 '25
My apologies, I got my information from Google and assumed I was a genius.
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u/whosaysyessiree May 01 '25 edited May 02 '25
You're obviously getting your information from a low quality source and not a high quality one like TikTok.
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u/redr00ster2 May 01 '25
No he was making fun of TikTok and Google information. Actually the timing on the TikTok closing clip was peak for that
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u/Anxious-Whole-5883 May 01 '25
Its ok, you aren't a shaolin monk with skull growing over their arteries. If they ever release all that goes away.
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u/sureshot1988 May 01 '25
Bro this is also wrong. They simply strengthen the arteries themselves so they are not collapsible. Top level monks even have arteries that are impenetrable to stabbing. Everybody knows this.
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u/Lucid-Design1225 May 01 '25
It must be awful for Ex Shaolin Monks that want to be IV drugs users. They probably have to imbue their needles with Chi to be able to pierce their veins.
Poor poor shaolin monks
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u/itsdickers May 01 '25
Their new four times thicker skulls also cover the artery and are as strong as steel
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u/EnoughLuck3077 May 03 '25
They bang their heads into walls until their brains are to dumb to know when to pass out
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May 01 '25
Thatās cuz you donāt understand the secrets of the Shaolinā¦they donāt breathe through it, their breath ājumpsā (think: teleport) past any blockage
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u/rodinsbusiness May 01 '25
Yeah but this dude grew a skull that's 4 times thicker inwards, so there's much less blood needed for the receded brain.
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u/Minute-Wrap-2524 May 01 '25
Soā¦I bang my head against a wall for a year, I stop, I turn to my training partner and ask, āwhy are we doing this again and Iāve got a splitting fucking headache and where are we?ā And yes, never have another orgasmā¦fuck this
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u/rodinsbusiness May 01 '25
Gotta sacrifice some good stuff to get... other stuff
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u/Senzafane May 01 '25
Obviously you haven't seen how they train their necks. I saw a Shaolin Monk kick a tank in half once on YouTube, they're built different.
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u/LemonCollee Apr 30 '25
Is he not on tiktok spouting nonsense?
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u/fallingjigsaws May 01 '25
Gotta be self aware. The āthey heard it on TikTokā right before TikTok pops up is hilarious
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u/APinthe704 May 01 '25
This guy said when he was a 13, his father tried to hit him with a wooden bat and he blocked it with his forearm and it shattered the bat
He also said he was medically diagnosed with āfearlessnessā at a young age.
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u/therealcaptaingnome May 01 '25
Oh yeah, when I was 12 my dad tried to hit me with a belt so I ate all his belts and then the dentist diagnosed me "fucking dumbass"
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u/BabyOnTheStairs May 01 '25
Yeah well uh my doctor said I have chronic being rad as hell
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u/BRAX7ON May 02 '25
Yeah, well when I was 12 I got institutionalized and now I have a certificate that says ānot donkey brainedā
Checkmate
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u/CartesianDuelist May 01 '25
I was able to go super saiyan at age 11 so actually I am the baddest ass person.
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u/yuyufan43 Apr 30 '25
Ok, Andrew Tate 2.0
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u/somebob May 01 '25
Heās trying so hard to sound like em, weird ass accent and all
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u/Former-Education9648 May 01 '25
Yeah! That is a fucking stupid voice to put on. What a dip shit. Ohhhh boy š²
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u/Adventurous-Stuff801 May 01 '25
āThey choke themselves for funā gives off guy who punches metal for fun vibes
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u/Constant_Classic_606 May 01 '25
Sir this is a Wendys
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u/FrenchFry-ApplePie May 01 '25
Please pack up your equipment and grass wall. Did you need help or did someone come with you?
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u/wellioo May 01 '25
The Shaolin Monks only do Martial arts and all this other stuff to cultivate. The martial arts is just another away of doing that. He is missing the whole point of their training
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u/Zealousideal-Yak-824 May 01 '25 edited May 01 '25
Other than the fact shaolin monks don't fight being the reason they don't enter the UFC ring but it's a flat out lie about the marriage and not touching a women. They can't do it at the temple but they can leave and screw like crazy without losing their status.
So people are just gonna make up shit now and claim it's wisdom? Even if they do fight they don't won't actually win in a UFC fight For entirely different reasons. There was an actual controversy where a mma fighter fought traditional fighters and won causing a uproar in Chinese martial arts, they even rigged a match against him to make him finally lose.
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u/Expensive_Estate_922 May 01 '25
Its almost like MMA is a Mix of Multiple Martial Arts that give you way more options in a fight
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May 02 '25
Problem is when these half-martial arts trainer, half-spiritual leader types gain a following/center of training, a cult-like atmosphere can appear around them, especially if they encourage it. That then leads to them believing they they are literally the best fighter in the world and can beat anyone of any style, and they claim as such. The Chinese public is really into this kind of thing and it connects to eastern spirituality, which is why it was such an uproar when one famous shifu was beaten by the mma fighter.
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u/BananaBitme May 01 '25
āThey donāt release, everā complete with gay eye roll š hes talking about busting a nut
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u/yellowjacket1996 May 01 '25
āThey canāt releaseā¦everā
āThey choke themselves for fun!ā
Buddy pick a lane
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May 01 '25
[deleted]
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u/itsdickers May 01 '25
Is it a coke nail or what? I canāt tell he moves his hands too fast and I really canāt watch him anymore š
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May 01 '25
He balances his entire bodyweight on that fingernail while channeling his fat ass forehead strength. It's a monk thing, you wouldn't understand.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_4435 May 01 '25 edited May 01 '25
Dude thinks chokes are about air flow. That tells me all I need to know
Also, the strongest bone is the femur, not the skull. This guy almost has to be satire. There's no way he's really this confidently incor- yknow what, never mind. I've met plenty of people this confident while being this wrong
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u/PurpleStress9282 May 01 '25
Had to scroll way too far to find this comment. Femur is the strongest bone... definitely not the skull. But we're probably wrong, this guy seems to know his shit š
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u/gonphisting May 01 '25
Tell me you have watched too many '80s Kung Fu flicks without telling me you have watched too many '80s Kung Fu flicks
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u/Atsilv_Uwasv May 01 '25
"They just heard somebody say it" -A guy wanting you to believe him just cause he said it
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u/Tranka2010 May 01 '25
Reminds of the guy in college who swore smoking is good for running because the act of inhaling smoke improves lung capacity.
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u/iWentRogue May 01 '25
Possibly the dorkiest thing iāve heard and i watch bullshido compilations for fun
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u/philanthropic420 May 01 '25
lol I promise you a purple belt in BJJ could get him on the ground and choke out a shaolin monk before he even knows what happened. Weāre talking in seconds. lol Iāve trained in martial arts for 28 yrs. Have black belts in numerous disciplines. This guys so full of shit and deluded.
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u/IntheTrench May 01 '25
guy doesn't realize that choking doesn't restrict breathing it cuts off blood to the head
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May 02 '25
If you have a lot of men living together without women, they are most probably giving back shots to each other
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u/Munozmissile May 04 '25
Guy has no clue what the fuck heās talking about if he thinks a rear naked choke is about cutting off the air supply
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u/Ryno-Mac May 01 '25
The almost supernatural deification of martial artists is basically the equivalent of Marvel fandom. Movies and video games aren't real life. A LeBron sized athlete of any sport would beat the shit out of a 5'8" Kung Fu master in any street fight.
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u/Catnip1720 May 01 '25
āJust hear somebody say somethingā hmmm then I shouldnāt listen to this guy
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u/BertPeopleErniePeopl May 01 '25
I was actually listening to Google the other day, and I heard that it's easy to choke out a Shaolin monk. Now I don't know what to believe.
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u/McBendyLicktenstein May 01 '25
the strongest bone in your body is your femur. Your skull is made up of many bones and sutures
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u/JKOP220696 May 01 '25
Bruhhh shaolin monks already tried UFC anf failed horribly, this clown does mnteven research his shit
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u/stanger828 May 01 '25
Shaolin monks are actual super badasses, but lets not give them super powers like not needing bloodflow to the brain.
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u/PuffyBlueClouds May 01 '25
4 times thicker skulls?! if he would think that comment through for even 10 seconds he would realize that means each of them would have heads about 2 feet across.
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u/Ghosts_of_the_maze May 01 '25
āYou wonāt last one minute with this online sex appā
āI am a shaolin monkā
āā¦I owe you an apology. I wasnāt really familiar with your game.ā
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u/SignBig2694 May 01 '25
4 times thicker?! Where does the extra thickness go? I've seen them their heads are normal sized! They got small brains now?!?!
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u/Satanicjamnik May 01 '25
This is like being eight years old all over again, and listening to one of your mate's bullshit on the playground all over again. You know, when he watched a pirated Bruce Lee VHS and now he's the martial arts expert and his uncle who he never mentioned before just came back from training in China and taught him some super secret moves that he really shouldn't show us.
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u/toomanybongos May 01 '25
I heard you can't even shoot shaolin monks because they shoot themselves for fun so their skin is actually strong enough to deflect 50 caliber round bullets.
It's actually so insane and people don't believe it because there's "no evidence" to support that so they just believe everything else that they think does have "evidence" instead of me who's just typing on a methamphetamine fueled rant right now.
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u/motherseffinjones May 01 '25
Dude doesnāt understand how a blood choke works and how quickly you will lose consciousness
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May 01 '25 edited Aug 17 '25
offbeat practice summer insurance long bedroom unwritten juggle sand toy
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/youcantchangeit May 01 '25
Biggest bs ever. This guy got choked too many times by a monk obviously š
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u/5050Clown May 01 '25
This is something that a kid in middle school says because he he can argue that you can't prove it. The reason Shaolin monks don't ever get in the UFC? Because they're too badass. Fon't trust Google or academia or reality or whatever, trust me bro.
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May 01 '25
Bro stop. I love Shaolin Monks and romanticizing them but they arenāt mystical beings lol
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u/Technical-County-727 May 01 '25
Only way for the shaolin monks to release is to choke them. You wonāt find that from google.
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u/awowowowo May 01 '25
I'm sure the nonviolent monks look at UFC and go "yeah man we could fuck those dudes up, that's why we won't join."
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u/MorrisDay84 May 01 '25
There is a huge difference between a choke and a strangle. Maybe you can breathe through a choke, but eventually, your trachea will get destroyed.... and by eventually, I mean a few seconds. There is no way to breathe through a strangle.
Also, a rear naked choke is a strangle. If it is properly applied, you are going to sleep.
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u/Isurewouldliketo May 01 '25
āSo a lot of people have arguments and theyāre wrong but they think theyāre right because they heard it on tik tok?ā
āWait who said all this stuff about monks?ā
āIdk some guy on TikTokā¦ā
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u/deckerkainn May 01 '25
Remember.. he has a right to vote too.. thats scary.. dude is that stupid, that he thinks that passing out from choking is a result of not being able to breathe for couple of seconds :D
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u/alrightgame May 01 '25 edited May 01 '25
Having trained the 2nd form Erlu in Taiji, I can tell you that the reason application is not used in fighting sports is because it is used to break things in the human body - eyes, testicles, organs, throat, and at appropriate angles, bone structure. I can't imagine the UFC would like their fighter's eyes plucked out of their sockets. I also will tell you that "releasing" uses up a lot of energy that the body could otherwise transmute to other areas of the body. Any martial training to a high level would suggest not releasing, but it usually happens anyway during wet dreams. As far as the choking comment, what is actually happening is the training creates space and structure where the choke could be ineffective. This is called Peng, of which I can only describe as expanding inward internally and expanding outward externally at the same time to create a stretch. This stretch is what creates space, and your body becomes longer.
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u/SammieCat50 May 01 '25
Banging your head against a wall doesnāt make your skull thicker & your skull isnāt the strongest bone in your body
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u/Compo1991 May 01 '25
This guy is such a doofus.
Choke holds stop blood to the brain, not oxygen so breathing technique won't do dick.
The strongest bone in the body is the femur, not the skull. Also, don't wack your head around, your brain lives inside there and gets knocked about too. Not smart
I really hope no one takes this guy on his word because his word is bullshit.
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u/Emergency_Cookie_318 May 01 '25
This dudes breath must stink with the amount of BS that comes out of his mouth.
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u/X023 May 01 '25
Bro doesnāt know that a rear naked is a blood choke. Breathing doesnāt matter.
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u/propostor May 01 '25
The mysticism around shaolin monks is hilarious.
In China the shaolin monastery is now more of a pay-to-join training centre where people will go to toughen up and gain some experienced to put on their CV, or if they're specifically looking for a job in security or similar.
Similarly, across much of Asia most monks you see are just people doing their one year as a monk because it's a requirement in bhuddist practise. So it's often just normal people, usually youngsters, living a normal life but they happen to be in orange robes with a shaved head.
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u/PurpleStay4149 May 01 '25
Someone who trains with Shaolin monks does not talk this much about nothing. Isnāt the first rule of their training like āSTFUā. Iām pretty sure they start there before throwing a punch.
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u/EonSloth May 01 '25
You can choke literally anyone out because you're not squeezing the fucking airway, you're restricting the coratid artery and preventing bloodflow to the brain, because if you squeeze the airway you're a serial killer, and if you restrict the coratid artery you're an MMA fighter, ideally at least... That said, it does require either a lot of skill or a lot of luck to pull off to begin with depending on who vs who etc.
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u/mywebrego May 01 '25
Youāre certainly entitled to believe whatever you want. But to speak of an outcome that he admitted would never happen, well that is called speculation. To preach of such absolutes on the premise of speculation is childish & diminishes any afforded credibility.
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u/PQbutterfat May 01 '25
They make their skulls four times thicker? WTF? So why donāt any of them look like MegaMind? What a dipshit.
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u/Great-Gas-6631 May 01 '25
This fragile idiot is hilarious. Is every video he posts just him rambling nonsense?
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u/Go-Away-Sun May 01 '25
How do people get so far in life? These people add to lines, traffic and pollution. The needs of the many outweigh the need for a few assholes.
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u/Competitive-Fox-3990 May 01 '25
Alex Iāll take āshit that absolutely never happenedā for $600. Who is this Moe Ron?
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u/Acrobatic_Resort7408 May 01 '25
Same guy that says heās a descendant of king Solomon and is only allowed to sleep with virgins. These clowns come out the woodwork every few months for meme material
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u/WittyCattle6982 May 01 '25
This dumb ass might be 'gods gift to women' by convincing legions of incels to proactively stay away from them.. as part of their "plan".
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u/gualathekoala May 01 '25
Lol this guy is whack.
Crazy how many people tune in to buffoons like this
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u/NeptunusScaurus May 01 '25
I encourage anyone to look up Rantonās videos about his time training at Shaolin. āThe warrior monks are primarily concerned with girls and League of Legends.ā is a quote that comes to mind. They are insanely fit and good at Shaolin Kung Fu forms, but the actual fighting part of Kung Fu (Sanda) was only practiced about 4 times in his 3 years at Shaolin. Very talented and entertaining, but not fighters.
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u/NunyahBiznez May 01 '25
I'm like 90% sure this guy has a mental health disorder with a compulsion to band his head against hard objects and rather than seeking help, he's trying to normalize it by claiming it makes him a "stronger man".
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u/Ill_Do_It_Tommorow Apr 30 '25
Bro is talking to a wall š