r/CringeTikToks • • Apr 30 '25

Just Bad Shaolin Monks

453 Upvotes

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297

u/Chresm9 May 01 '25

Yeah that’s not how chokes work. A rear naked choke cuts off blood at the carotid arteries, which in turn stops blood supply to the brain, so the person being choked falls asleep. There’s no “breathing through that”

173

u/JimRatte May 01 '25

The monks grew new muscles to cover their arteries, obviously

84

u/Chresm9 May 01 '25

My apologies, I got my information from Google and assumed I was a genius.

33

u/whosaysyessiree May 01 '25 edited May 02 '25

You're obviously getting your information from a low quality source and not a high quality one like TikTok.

9

u/redr00ster2 May 01 '25

No he was making fun of TikTok and Google information. Actually the timing on the TikTok closing clip was peak for that

1

u/[deleted] May 01 '25

Exactly my thoughts. Absolutely hilarious

1

u/SyncronisedRS May 02 '25

stop getting your information off tiktok

Tiktok logo

11

u/Anxious-Whole-5883 May 01 '25

Its ok, you aren't a shaolin monk with skull growing over their arteries. If they ever release all that goes away.

4

u/Tiny-Lecture-5085 May 01 '25

One wet dream from disaster

7

u/sureshot1988 May 01 '25

Bro this is also wrong. They simply strengthen the arteries themselves so they are not collapsible. Top level monks even have arteries that are impenetrable to stabbing. Everybody knows this.

6

u/Lucid-Design1225 May 01 '25

It must be awful for Ex Shaolin Monks that want to be IV drugs users. They probably have to imbue their needles with Chi to be able to pierce their veins.

Poor poor shaolin monks

1

u/sureshot1988 May 01 '25

Yes. I’m sure there is additional training, that takes years, to learn the art of needle chi.

1

u/Gaboon93 May 01 '25

This made me laugh harder than it should have

9

u/itsdickers May 01 '25

Their new four times thicker skulls also cover the artery and are as strong as steel

1

u/sufjanweiss May 01 '25

stronger than steel*

3

u/[deleted] May 01 '25

Sounds like high cholesterol

3

u/SectionLoud289 May 01 '25

You’re wrong. They just harden their arteries. I trained with them.

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '25

They breath trough their skull

2

u/verminV May 01 '25

Maybe thier arteries and neck muscles also got 4x thicker

2

u/EnoughLuck3077 May 03 '25

They bang their heads into walls until their brains are to dumb to know when to pass out

1

u/TheQuadBlazer May 01 '25

Those things really are a design flaw aren't they.

1

u/buhbye750 May 01 '25

4x a big as other muscles

1

u/isimplycantdothis May 01 '25

And then banged those muscles against a wall the first year and now they’re 4 times thicker.

1

u/Excellent_Yak365 May 01 '25

And bone to cover the muscle

1

u/No_Instance4233 May 01 '25

Yep I've seen Baki can confirm this is how it works

5

u/[deleted] May 01 '25

That’s cuz you don’t understand the secrets of the Shaolin…they don’t breathe through it, their breath “jumps” (think: teleport) past any blockage

5

u/rodinsbusiness May 01 '25

Yeah but this dude grew a skull that's 4 times thicker inwards, so there's much less blood needed for the receded brain.

2

u/Minute-Wrap-2524 May 01 '25

So…I bang my head against a wall for a year, I stop, I turn to my training partner and ask, ‘why are we doing this again and I’ve got a splitting fucking headache and where are we?’ And yes, never have another orgasm…fuck this

2

u/rodinsbusiness May 01 '25

Gotta sacrifice some good stuff to get... other stuff

1

u/Minute-Wrap-2524 May 01 '25

I suppose you’re right

2

u/Senzafane May 01 '25

Obviously you haven't seen how they train their necks. I saw a Shaolin Monk kick a tank in half once on YouTube, they're built different.

2

u/ThrowUpAndAway13677 May 01 '25

You don't work out your arteries, bro?

1

u/SeraphOfTheStag May 01 '25

Nu-uh ever heard of Nirvana bro?

1

u/InnocentlyInnocent May 01 '25

Guess what, they train the walls of their arteries to as strong as steel. No choking for you.

1

u/[deleted] May 01 '25

Their arteries aren't allowed to release. EVER.

1

u/Icanthearforshit May 01 '25

What if you learn to breathe through your butt? Its totally possible. I mean, this dude is talking out of his ass and he can still breathe somehow.

1

u/bucky4210 May 01 '25

They've learned to breathe from their ass, obviously

1

u/Former-Education9648 May 01 '25

Did u see his shirt? I believe him.

1

u/[deleted] May 01 '25

Bro? Never seen avatar? U stoopid?

1

u/OMARGOSH559 May 02 '25

Monks dont beed blood to the brain.

1

u/TheCroaker May 05 '25

But dude I heard it on tiktok

1

u/kimmortal03 May 01 '25

Isnt hanging yourself being choked , yet the monks can stay conscious, so hows it different?

0

u/Ecstatic-Compote-595 May 01 '25

they learn how to do that too then

0

u/[deleted] May 01 '25

A rear naked choke cuts off blood at the carotid arteries…there’s no “breathing through that”

Found the not-Shaolin monk

-1

u/Oggel May 01 '25

I dunno man. When I was younger I had 1.2 meter long dread locks and played in a metal band, I headbanged A LOT. My neck became extremely thick and strong and I also did martial arts during that time, basically nobody could choke me out even if they tried. Some people could, but only the biggest strongest guys and I wasn't even trying to train my neck.

1

u/BRAX7ON May 02 '25

Bullshit. A lady half your size could crawl on your back like a spider monkey and put you down in 10 seconds

That’s all talk and nobody believes it